well, it's been about a hundred degrees over here (LITERALLY) and i barely got any sleep last night cuz i didn't have a fan. i apologize in advance if this chapter is grammatically challenged.

Chapter Thirty:

Why Do I Always Get the Whack Jobs?

"It's been a while." Kisuke said, with his usual sense of humor. His zanpakutoh was in his hands. He was back-to-back with Valencia. "So how did they get you involved in this, anyways?"

"They want me to see the future. It's the only way to really defeat this thing. At the same time, I gotta keep it from killing everyone, including myself. But they pretty much just want me to figure out how it works, tell you, and then step on the sidelines."

"Is that what you plan to do?" Kisuke asked.

"Hell no!" She cried. "Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten a really good fight?"

"That's what I wanted to hear!" Kisuke gave her his happy loopy face.

"You're stupid." She replied. "But anyways, what's the stats on this thing?"

"Um… let's see. It thinks like a human and talks. Plus it's kinda creepy. It's almost like… a shinigami. Plus it can use portals, like you. And I've been getting feelings of déjà vu. It's a good thing they sent you, Valencia. It's already taken down four vice captains, most of the eleventh division, and there are two captains on their way. You're the only one who has a chance with this."

"Déjà vu?"

"Yeah. Like when you manipulated that tea cup thing."

"I hope it's not like you're implying."

"What if it is?"

"Damn."

Valencia blinked, shaking her head. "Anyways, why is it attacking seireitei?"

"It thinks. Ask it!" Kisuke suggested. "Or perhaps, because it's such a high-level hollow, it needs more powerful souls for a supply. Or maybe it's just stupid and actually wants to get itself killed. There's always that option."

"You can make a joke out of any situation Kisuke, you know that?"

"That's just what I do." He smiled.

"Let's go."

"It went this way. Follow me." Kisuke led the way, using shunpo.

"Gotcha." Valencia sped after him. When they broke through to the clearing in the forest, Valencia froze.

The hollow was… stunning.

It looked like a human, and in fact, looked more familiar than most. He grinned at them- she supposed it was a he- and pulled out a sword. He had dark brown-black hair, and his eyes were black, with lavendar irises. A mask covered his face, with two twisting horns curling out of the sides of its head.

"What?" Valencia paused, stunned.

"I told you it looked like a human."

"Damn."

"Too much talking," it- he- said, smiling. "You are of no interest to me," he said to Kisuke. Then he turned to Valencia. "But you are. I am looking for someone who looks like you. Someone who has my same powers?"

"Define same powers." Valencia said dryly.

Suddenly, Kisuke surged forward, a gash open in his shoulder. He hit the ground, shocked. "What the hell?!" He yelled.

"He wasn't kidding." Valencia said.

"What'd he do?"

"He froze time and hit you."

"Why didn't he kill me?"

"Simple. Time-benders can't do that."

Kisuke was really confused now. "What?"

"If we could, wouldn't I have killed that one mean teacher by now? It would create one of those time loops. And at least it's smart enough not to try that."

"Ah. So he can slice me up until I die?"

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"How come you never told me this?"

"Because no one can know. And besides, I thought I was the only one that could do this. I've been banned from changing the past."

"That dumb loop thing?"

"Yep."

"Huh. Well then, how'd this schmo get powers like that?"

"Schmo? What's that supposed to mean?" The hollow asked, sounding hurt.

"It means you're not supposed to have them." Valencia told it simply.

"Well that's too bad. I get it from you," it smirked.

"What?" Kisuke asked. "Valencia?"

Valencia looked just as bewildered as him.

"What? I guess master didn't tell you. He borrowed some of your DNA in his experiments." The hollow stared at them, a demented grin on his face. "I guess that makes me your son in a way?"

Valencia gritted her teeth, then looked at Kisuke.

"Who?"

The thing grinned. "Who? Master?"

"Who is it? Tell me!"

It grinned. "Make me."

Valencia unsheathed her zanpakutoh. "Unfortunately, Kisuke, I'm going to have to ask you to stay out of this."

"Wh-what?" Kisuke blurted. "Definitely not!"

"I don't want you getting yourself killed," she said. "The only one who has a chance with this is someone with powers like it. And so far the only candidate is me. If I need you, I will let you know."

"Wow. That's cheap." Kisuke pouted.

Valencia turned around to smile at him. "Don't forget, Kisuke. I've been training for fights just as long as you have. Trust me. I can do this."

Kisuke smiled back at her, though emptily.

In his heart, he had a bad feeling about this that he couldn't shake off.

"And remember, Kisuke. Don't trust what your eyes tell you."

She turned away from him.

"Fuerda. Sh'chi."

The thing smiled at her. "I can do that too, you know. Fuerda. Sh'chi." His sword was identical to Valencia's.

"Damn you. You're just some lab experiment run amuck." Valencia said.

"It's all your fault. It's your DNA. If I'd had any choice, Fuerda would have been a little bit more decorative."

"Well then."

Kisuke watched, astounded.

What was happening?

Both shinigami and hollow simply stood, watching each other. Then their forms flickered- for just a moment- and then they reappeared.

Two trees crashed, sliced apart, and a piece of Kisuke's hair fell, cut off. Kisuke looked at it, dumbstruck. He couldn't even see the battle. It was all taking place in limbo, in the space between time.

"Stay away from him. It's the two of us." Valencia said.

"Well then. Aren't you just protective." It smirked. "Whatever you say, mother."

"Stop calling me that!" Valencia shrieked. "BANKAI!"

"Aha! BANKAI!" The hollow laughed, madly.

Suddenly, a strange feeling of déjà vu. He could have sworn Valencia had said something to him. "Leave, Kisuke."

But that was impossible. He clearly remembered that she hadn't called him.

But if she could bend time, could he really trust his memory?

"Dammit, Kisuke." She appeared out of nowhere, and grabbed him. A sword appeared where he had just been.

"That's not fair!" The hollow said.

"Hey!" Kisuke yelled. "How did you know what I was going to do?"

"I saw that you hesitated and got killed, so I changed the past, when I was in the future, so that would be the present." Valencia said, panting. "This is exhausting."

Fuerda descended on Valencia's shoulder. It sliced into it, and Valencia dropped to her knees, blood spurting from her shoulder. She turned around, shocked.

"Ha. And you thought I wouldn't see that. I have the same abilities, you know." The hollow grinned at her, laughing.

It was like some sick chess game. The exact same pieces, only different players.

"Damn. I never was very good at chess," Valencia said.

"Huh. That so? Too bad, because I'm supposed to get rid of you. Master doesn't want you interfering with his plans."

"Ah. That's why you're a hollow. I guess he was interested in my powers, though."

"Yeah. 'Extremely interesting,' he says. He wants to use them. And to kill you, he needed someone with your powers. So, he takes a dash of your DNA, and creates me. Ain't it just a doll?"

"Die, G-"

"Shi."

"Go!" Before she could stop herself, Valencia knew he knew that she was going to attack with fire, and summoned water. The flames were extinguished immediately.

This was really annoying.

But she knew he couldn't see the future unless she'd decided it.

So then, all she had to do was keep changing her mind.

She dropped Kisuke-

There was loud scream-

The hollow laughed-

And Valencia reappeared again, screaming. She was spitting and pulling at her face.

It had only been a second.

"Valencia? VALENCIA!" Kisuke yelled, rushing to her side.

"GET- AWAY-" she yelled, eyes wild.

He felt like a thousand pounds of iron had hit him right in the gut.

Valencia was turning into a hollow. Somehow, the hollow had gotten a hold of her, and won. But where was it?

The hollow appeared, shrieking, Fuerda speared through its chest.

"What the hell?"

"Hard to predict if I haven't made up my mind, huh?" Valencia sneered.

"But you're going to die too." It gurgled.

"Yeah, and that was how I could lure you in. By making myself bait. And you couldn't know that I was going to attack you because I hadn't decided yet." She smiled at it, a psychotic grin marring her face, as a mask started to form over it. "Only I could get rid of you, and as officer of the special abilities division of the royal guard, it was my duty. At any cost."

"That's too late. I have already achieved my mission. You are turning into a hollow."

"What?" Kisuke didn't understand anything. What was happening?

"Why does he want me as a hollow?" She asked.

"Because I told him that if I fought you, I would get killed. I've already sent your reiatsu to him, so he'll be able to track you in Hueco Mundo. He doesn't want those powers gone, yet, mind you. You're 'extremely interesting.'"

"Huh. That's so cheap."

"I'd say brilliant."

"Perhaps. Damn you… A-a-" Suddenly Valencia curled over, screaming.

The hollow disappeared into little flecks as it died.

"Valencia?" Kisuke touched her shoulder-

She turned around. A grotesque mask with double curling horns that emerged out of the side of her head. She had black eyes with golden irises.

She looked just like the hollow she had just killed.

So it had been created from her DNA, then.

The hollow screeched at Kisuke, showing a row of large teeth. Then it disappeared without a second move.

Kisuke was left standing there, in shock.

"Valencia," he whispered.

There was only the lonely blowing of the wind in the trees. He heard the two captains rushing towards him.

They had finally gotten here.

Yoruichi Shihouin and Shinji Hirako appeared. They looked around, shocked.

"Kisuke?"

But he couldn't answer, all he could do was stare at the ground, emptily.

'Don't forget, Kisuke. I've been training for fights just as long as you have. Trust me. I can do this.'

Urahara bolted up, waking from his dream. He panted, cold sweat soaking his bed sheets. He looked at his hands. They wouldn't stop shaking.

For a moment all he did was pant.

He looked out the window. It was still dark- the moon was high in the sky. It was the middle of the night.

Then for a moment, a tear slipped from his eye. He watched it fall, dumbstruck.

It had been a long time since he had thought about her.