My boyfriend is lazy...very lazy. He's a minimist to the extreme. Everything he does has to be cut down to the minimum. He'd probably find a freaking way to cut down on his breathing if he could.

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WHAT!

I bet you don't believe. Bastards! I'll give you some examples.

"Maa~ Sasuke I thought the egg would cook faster in the microwave"

"Maa~ Sasuke it's too much work sitting up straight"

"Maa~ Sasuke why would I finish a mission quicker when I could go on vacation earlier" (O.k admittedly finishing a mission 2 days earlier and then resting the 2 days the Hokage does not expect is a good idea)

"Maa~ Sasuke buying an e-reader means I don't have to turn the page"

"Maa~ Sasuke showing up to a meeting on time means I have to deal with introductions when everyones knows me"

See! Stupid stuff! But if I can say one thing and I mean one thing my boyfriend is passionate about its sex.

Yes Sex!

Most people would say its that damned book, Icha Icha.

But those motherfuckers are wrong! I should know! I'm his boyfriend.

Icha Icha is a part of sex because it gives him ideas. And these Ideas turns into plots which are then acted upon and in the end I am left with a sore ass while that dumbass is all glowy and happy.

WHY CAN'T I BE ALL GLOWY AND HAPPY?

I mean don't get me wrong. Sex with Kakashi is mindblowingly erotic and amazing, but why can't he have a sore ass matching the color of a tomatoe, huh?

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Tch, I bet you simpletons are thinking "Why doesn't he just ask? Wouldn't that solve the 'Sasuke being seme' problem?"

Well let me ans-HELL FUCKING NO!

I've tried

and tried

and tried.

Guess were that got me?

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IDIOTS! NO WHERE! That is where it has got me because in Kakashi's world I'm "so goddamn fuckable! It would be a crime if that beautiful face and lewd body were not just writhing in pleasure I give you"

Note the bold italic "I"

That gives away to another major problem: Kakashi's possessiveness. Don't get me wrong I love it when the bastard get's all possessive and dominate and angry and oh so very hot...and god the way he squeezes my ass in the big hand...

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"Sasuke...you're drooling" Damnit Kakashi! You took me out of my pleasant sex dreams about you!

"NO I'M NOT YOU BASTARD! AND WHY ARE YOU OUT OF BED" I screamed. Currently, I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. Kakashi had been have stomach aches and puking for the pass 2 days. Today, has been the first time he has asked for something to eat. So now I was fixing him a hearty tomatoe soup.

"I'm tired of laying in bed. I want to watch TV...or something" he said making his way to ou- damn! I mean his couch.

I sighed. I really couldn't argue with that since he was a somewhat active ninja. "Whatever. At least I can watch you"

"Aww~ Am I that attractive Sasu-chaa~n" GODDAMNIT! I"VE TOLD HIM A MILLION AND ONE TIME NOT TO CALL ME THAT!

"Shut the fuck up! Or I'm sending you back to bed" Kakashi whimpered like a kicked dog and kept quiet. Kakashi sat there flipping through channels. Unaware of my plans...my oh so incrediably sexy plans...

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Oh yea I forgot you guys would wanna a little insight on my plans. You see Kakashi sitting there. All unaware that I plan to seduce him.

Yes! That is my brilliant plan!

By seducing Kakashi I will be able to overcome him in his weaken state thus being seme for the night!

Oh, I know what you're thinking!

Oh, but great brilliant Sasuke-sama you've been denying Kakashi sex for weeks! Won't he be as supicious as he is horny of your come-ons?

Well Ha! Because I have a plan for that to! All I need to do firist is feign like I'm going to use the bathroom.

"Kakashi, I need to use the bathroom. If you smell something burning...don't touch it. Just call me." I said with absolutely NO emotion! Yea that! That is the Uchiha coming out.

"Maa~ Sasuke I set dinner on fire one time and you don't trust me all of a sudden"

"FUCKING HELL IT WAS JUST DINNER! YOU BURN OU- ER YOUR! KITCHEN DOWN! THE LANDLORD EVICTED US...I MEAN YOU AND YOU ENDED UP MOVING!" It's true ask Tsunade who got pissed because he needed the week off to move all his stuff (Icha Icha)

"Aww~ Sasuke you know I don't mind calling it our apartment since we live here" This unfortunately left a very un-Uchiha blush on my face.

"SHUT UP!" SLAM! I screamed with a whole lot less venom than I intended. I go to my apartment...sometimes.

I sighed once safely locked in the bathroom. I seriously believe I will one day bust a few brain cells because of Kakashi, but that was a problem for another day. Today, I needed to top Kakashi. I pulled out the hanger left in the shower and unzip the bag revealing a black nurses outfit. Kakashi's been begging me to wear this for months! So when he see's step with this ensomble, he'll totally flip!

Brilliant, No?

I slipped on the super short dress(Damn! I was lucky this pass my ass), rolled on the thigh high white stockings, placed the funny little black hat with a red cross on my head, and then just for height purposes I slipped on the black heels. They pinched my feet a little but I knew I wouldn't be wearing them long.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I saw Kakashi was still heavily engrossed in whatever he was watching.

"...Something something the...something...something" he mumbled to hisself. I walked silently to the kitchen. Hoping, he wouldn't turn this way or hear the clacking heels.

"Sasuke" he called without turning his head.

"Hm?" I said hurrying to place the tomatoe soup in a bowl and grabbing a thermometer.

"Help me solve this puzzle. It has the word the and..."

"What letter do you want to add" I heard the TV say "D"

"Yes there are 2 D's" Ding! Ding!

"Oh, and two D's at the begining of the first and last word." I rolled my eyes at that. Like I couldn't hear it.

"Mm? Any other hints?" I asked turning off the stove.

"It's a songs."

"V" I heard the TV say. "Yes there is a V"

"Damn! I didn't expect a V...Blank Blank the Blank."

"Ka-Ka-shi" I said in a sinfully seductive voice (I hope anyway). Kakashi seeing my shadow fall over him looked up.

And boy was it a flattering response. His jaw his the floor, eyes bugged out, and I was pretty sure that blush was not from the fever. And really who could blame him for his reaction when he had me posing in a nurses oufit while holding one bowl of soup in my left hand.

"I made dinner. It's tomatoe soup" I bent down to set the soup making sure he got a look at me best asset (my ass morons) "Oh and by the way I think the song is dance with the devil"

"S-S-S-S-Sasuke" HELL YES! I GOT THE BACHELOR OF KONOHA TO FRICKEN STUTTER AND LEFT BREATHELESS! Tch, wonder how many of Kakashi's previous lovers did that.

I'm going with...NONE!

"Ah, but before you eat how about we check your temperature" I slowly went over to Kakashi and straddled his lap.

"S-S-Sasuke" Ha! I TOTALLY have him where I want him!

"Shh~ say Ah" Kakashi's trembling lips opened. "A-A-Ah?"

"Hmm.. Oh! Kakashi! It seems you're still burning" I threw him a sexy smirk "We need to cool you off! You don't mind stripping for me do you" I gave one those slow lusterious blinks and waited for an answer.

"S-Sasuke..I...you...help" he gave me a pleading look for an explanation. I intentionally misinterperted it.

"Ugh, How can I be so stupid? Your sick! I should be stripping you! Don't work Kakashi, Nurse Sasuke is going to take excellent care of you" I purred. I leaned Kakashi back on to the sofa and removed his button up pajama shirt. Kakashi shuddered as my hands started making work on his body.

"Don't worry Kashi! I'll do all the work" Kakashi who was in a world of bliss totally missed the inneudeo. I cheered in my head. Kakashi was freakin putty in my hand!

My kisses started getting more heated as they trailed down his neck and to his nipples. I teased them for a minute before going up to kiss Kakashi. Oh! For the love of all that was good and pure I missed Kakashi's mouth. Those thin lip pressed to mine and that skillful tongue claiming and reclaiming it's rightful property. Of course, since I planned to be seme and Kakashi was sick I managed to push his tongue back and take over for the very first time!

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I DID NOT MENTALLY SQUEAL SO SHUT UP!

It was completely different to be claiming uncharted land then to be claimed by it. It was adventurious and new. I even felt bold for being able to bring Kakashi to submission, albeit, in a weaken state, but as I've explain earlier it is necessary.

Kakashi groaned against my lips and I moved to bring his pants down lower while leaving his intoxicating cavern in order to set work on his neck.

My gosh! Everything was going perfectly! Kakashi was making soul shuddering sounds and I was being all assertive.

"OOOOOHHH~ Saaaaasuke! We brought dinnnnnerrrr!" Let me tell you something there is nothing good about looking at your family behind your back while your thong clad ass was very much clear for the world to see and molesting your boyfriend.

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DAMNIT!

So, after my plan when up in smokes and the yelling, screaming, threatening, and kunai throwing settled down. I was staring at the very people I had told to PISS OFF! plus Shisui(Obito's older brother), Kushina (also divorced), and Iruka (Kakashi's ex). Absentmindly, I wondered how Kakashi had gotten on a doctor'smask so quickly, but conviently forgotten to button up his shirt.

"So why are you here?" I asked nonchantly as I went to sit with Kakashi in the big chair...and by with I mean on Kakashi's lap. This earned me a venomious glare from Obito...oh! and even a small glare from Iruka. Well, PISS OFF BITCHES! HE'S MINE!

And what better way to show my ownership than by completely ignoring their glares and cozying up closer to a half naked Kakashi while still in my very sexy nurses outfit.

From the intensifying glares and blushing Kashi-kun (huh kinda cute when he's all flustered) None!

Muhahahahahaha! I am Uchiha.

"Well, sweetie since I haven't seen you much since I've gotten here and you've been unwilling to come home for dinner. I thought I would bring the dinner to you." she said with a cracked smile. I knew she was just itching to grab her kunai and stab it through Kakash's forehead. Too bad I was here because I love Kakashi very much...very very much!

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I'M NOT PSYCHO!

"Ah, well that's nice mother, but I've already made dinner" She glanced at the bowl full of cold tomatoe soup "Kakashi wasn't very hungry though" I said.

"I bet he's not when he's trying to molest you" mumbled my Aniki.

"What was that Aniki?" I asked sweetly while my eyes threaten bloody murder.

"I said I bet he's not when he's sick" Itachi correct.

"Mmm yes maybe we could try again later hmm kashi" I said affectionately. I was pretty sure everyone picked up on the hidden innuedo.

"Bet that's what your sex life is like dattebyo" Naruto said obnoxiously loud. I was about to say something but Kakashi cut me off.

"Yea especially since I've been sick, but Sasuke always has a way of spicing things up. When I saw him in this I thought I was going to have a heart attack...I still might with the way he sitting on my lap."...it almost sound like he was bragging to Naruto. I looked at Naruto to see him glaring. Ugh, we dated for like 2 months which was like over a year and a half ago and he won't let it go.

I messaged the area around his heart "Hn. Aren't you sweet." I said with a smirk. If they were glaring I couldn't tell because Kakashi was the only one in the room right now. Damn! I love those multicolored eyes they were just so fucking gorgeous...not that I would ever tell Kakashi that

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"Uh Hmm" Iruka coughed "K-Kakashi Tsunade wants to know when you'll be well enough to get back on your missions." at this I scowled.

Kakashi wouldn't be as sick as he was if he didn't goon his last mission and then got poisoned. He was fighting that shit in his bloodstream for weeks and this fever hit him like crazy. I was worried sick! and now she wants to know when he can come back!

"Tell Tsunade and whoever else that Kakashi will be ready when I say he ready. Got it?" I said coldly. No way was I letting that old bat put Kakashi back in the merciless battlefield while he was sick. I barely want him there when he's healthy/

"I was asking Kakashi, Sasuke." I glared at him, but a squeeze on my hip from Kakashi quieted me.

"Maa~ Iruka don't worry. I'll be out as soon as Nurse Sasuke here discharges me." I blushed at this and attempted (and failed) to glare at him "Besides I'm sure I have more than enough sick days to warrant my house arrest here. Hmm?" Another thing I loved about Kakashi. His silent cunning. There were times he was out right dopey but moments like this alway made me suprised of his intellect. I sometimes wondered if that intellect might me be just a little sadistic...I wouldn't mind being tied to a bed by Kakashi.

"Ah...w-well yes I s-suppose...I'll take that up with Tsunade" Something told me Tsunade didn't really care if Kakashi came in for missions at the moment.

"Ah~ Anyway all this socailizing is making me tired" he said with a yawn "Sasuke put me to bed" he said with the best puppy dog eyes he could give me. From the corner of my eye I could see Obito blush and Iruka silently gasp.

I rolled my eyes and decided to play along since it would get these people out my house."Fine" I grumbled.

Kakashi eye curved and I'm sure if I could see the rest of his face he would be beaming. I ushered everyone out the room. "Oh, Sasuke we're still having the Uzamaki-Uchiha BBQ are you coming?" asked Minato.

"It's Uchiha-Uzamaki" corrected my father.

"Uzamaki-Uchiha sounds better" argued Minato. Father snorted "Are you coming...Kakashi can come?" He said in a lower voice winking. I had to admit Minat was the best god father ever!

"What did you say Minato?" asked Kushina.

"I said I'd grill him some tomatoes." Kushina eye narrowed, but she said nothing "So?"

"Only if Kakashi is feeling well enough" Minato nodded and I slammed the door.

I sighed leaning my head against the door.

SHIT!

DAMNIT!

FUCK!

My plan was totally ruined thanks to them. Fuck! Do they have a radar for when I have sex with Kakashi becuase this wasn't the first time they bust in while we were in mid-fuck. My thoughts were cut short when I felt a heated body behind me and a hand on my ass.

"Still want to take excellent care of me" questioned Kakashi. I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Of course, Nurse Sasuke is going to make you all better." I said with a smirk. So, I wasn't going to top tonight, but who said I couldn't enjoys the throws of passions he put me through. Besides its been weeks since we had sex and quite frankly I was too horny to protest.

In the back of my head (as Kakashi kissed me silly), I was glad I had a plan B.


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