Chapter Thirty Three:
Monster
"STOP IT! VALENCIA!"
As if through a dark fog, Kisuke's voice came to her.
Valencia blinked, surprised, and then stopped.
She looked around- where was she? Somewhere in the woods… and oh, there was Kisuke!
"K- Kisuke?" She asked. Then she froze. Oh, no… she touched her face. The last thing she could remember was going after that delectable smell…
"Valencia?" Kisuke asked, nervous. He had his zanpakutoh out, and was stanced like he was about to fight. His clothes were torn, too. Where had he gotten those?
She looked him up and down. "Hey, Kisuke, you looked kinda beat up. Who did that to ya, huh?" She asked.
"Valencia… so you're back, then?"
"What? Was I gone?" She raised her eyebrow.
"Did you forget the past hour completely?"
"What hour? Did I pass out or something?" She patted her forehead. No fever. What, then?
"Valencia, you did. You went berserk and attacked someone, then when I tried to interfere, you attacked me! You went hollow and tried to kill me!" He shouted.
She looked at him shocked.
"Wh-what?" She staggered. "You're kidding. This is a really bad joke, even for you."
"No. Valencia… what happened to you?"
"I- I was just hungry, and I smelled this great smell, and that's the last thing I remember."
"Oh my," his hand went to his forehead, rubbing it. "I should have thought of that. I brought you back, but I forgot!"
"Forgot what, Kisuke?" She was panicking, panicking…
"What are you, Valencia?" He asked, softly.
"A Hollow…"
"And what do Hollows eat, Valencia?"
She realized it with a growing sense of horror. No, no, it couldn't be…
"Souls," she croaked. "I tried to kill that person and then I tried to kill you. I lost control, I lost it, I'm a monster," she spiraled into rants. She pulled her hair. No, no, it couldn't be…
He was there, right beside her. "Valencia…"
"No, no!" She cried. She grabbed his jacket collar from his superior height. "Kisuke, what have I done? I didn't kill anyone, did I?" She begged it was no, it couldn't be…
"You killed one person before I got to you," he replied quietly.
Valencia hiccupped, let go of him, and hugged herself. "No, no… I can't believe I killed someone… I'm a monster Kisuke, I'm a hollow!"
"Valencia, it's not your fault. You completely lost it-"
"No!" She covered her ears. She was on full out meltdown mode. "I don't want to hear excuses. I killed someone, Kisuke! Do you understand that? I KILLED and innocent person, because I'm a HOLLOW!"
He was trying to calm her down, but her voice kept rising pitches until she was shrieking.
"I did it! And they didn't stand a chance. I'm dangerous Kisuke! I can't stay here, I can't stay here…"
"Calm down, Valencia!" He yelled forcefully.
She froze, then looked up at him. "K-Kisuke…"
"Standing here and ranting won't do anything," he said firmly. "Let's got back home. I can probably refine the Hougyoku. Maybe I could create a way to control your hunger. You can't just starve. Maybe I could create a replica soul or something…"
She stopped listening after something about going home. She was so tired. Her body wracked with held in sobs. She had killed someone. She was a monster, that which she had spent her life exterminating. An innocent person, just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now their entire family would feel a deep loss. She knew how that felt, to lose someone you loved.
It was the worst feeling in the world.
She didn't do anything, only mutely clutched at him clumsily as he picked her up to take her home.
"Relax, Valencia. I'll figure something out." He looked shaken himself. She could tell he was barely holding himself together.
Oh, it was all her fault! Now she had even caused Kisuke pain.
When they got home, all she did was silently collapse on the couch, and promptly fell asleep.
When she woke up, Kisuke was gone. That's good. She probably couldn't face him after last night anyways.
But she was so hungry! She felt as if the hole in her heart was going to eat her alive. Souls, she had to eat…
Then she would punch herself viciously in the stomach. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" She cried at it. "You awful murdering THING!" Her voice broke on the last words.
All week, Kisuke labored at the Hougyoku, on top of his captain work.
Valencia learned that her public memorial service and military funeral was being held that Wednesday in Seireitei.
She didn't attend, but Kisuke did.
Like I deserve a funeral, she thought bitterly.
