(A/N: Yeah... I know he's out of Character, but I couldn't help myself)
Voldemort
Hey, you reached Voldemort.
If you're calling to comment on Harry Potter don't worry I'll kill him soon, just have to find him.
If you're one of my death eaters, please remember to bring the cookies and brownies. And don't forget, Saturdays are karaoke night!
And if you're my counselor: I really need to talk to you! Why should you care if I tried to kill you! You're paid to help me!
Have a depressing and morbid day, death to Harry Potter.
Goodbye.
