Rosalie's Birthday (What a nightmare!)
Okays, sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been doing exams and such and I actually revised this time, what an achievement. Anyways, I'm really really sorry. Thanks to Selena, Mangosaregood8, Currierbell, Betterthanyou1n2, Tamara a.k.a Captain McCheese, Klutzerella, and everyone else who reviewed on the last few chapters. All idea's given in WILL be used so don't worry. Idea's put forward for this chapter are from Selena, Tamara a.k.a Captain McCheese, Klutzerella, and Currierbell.
Selena; don't worry about it, I completely understand, I've been grounded a few times myself. I'm not mad at you, btw, it's great that you're giving my idea's I need them. Btw this chapter is for your big sis KK, and for your friend Abby, and for everyone who reviewed, including you Selena.
Sorry for the long authors thingy, Hope you enjoy it! Btw, any idea's for Jake's Birthday?
Jacob's POV
Today was Rosalie's birthday, she's 11 today. I wasn't exactly invited. But Esme needs help and Carlisle had to go to work, he said he's make it up to Rose later, how I have no idea. I arrived early to help set up. A few of Rosalie's friends were coming; Seth was coming as was Bella. Leah, Tamara, Erin, Selena, KK, Abby, and Emily. So there was going to be eight screaming girls around the house, I felt or Esme.
"Thank you Jacob, for being here to help," said Esme, patting my arm. I smiled,
"No problem," I replied. It wasn't a problem. The only problem here is the Cullens. Esme was going to stay with the girls, all I had to do was keep Emmett, Jasper, Edward, Bella, Alice, Nessie and Seth under control and out of the way, Rosalie didn't want Emmett ruining her birthday, and I don't think Esme could take it, she looks exhausted already!
Once the girls arrived I grabbed the Cullens, Bella and Seth and dragged them into the Garden. Emmett carried Sassy out as Alice carried Cheerio out. This was going to be one hell of a day.
Inside we could hear the girls screaming and having fun, Esme was at the window and looked as if she were about to puke. I was pushing Nessie on the swings, Edward and Bella were in sight, Emmett, Jasper and Alice were in the tree house behind me and Seth was guarding the tree house. He looked all serious as he stood at the bottom of the tree, his arms folded, looking from right to left with a frown on his face. I laughed quietly. Nessie was giggling very loudly, so it was hard to tell if the girls were screaming inside or not.
Alice jumped down from the tree house, tears in her eyes, carrying Cheerio.
"J-Jake, ch-cheero won't w-wake up!" she sobbed. She gave the limp animal to me, it had a bloody nose and looked to be dead. I poked it, it didn't move. Cheerio had scrap marks, and cuts all over his body. Alice was crying hard now, she was rubbing her eyes and choking on her own tears. Nessie began to scream as the swing stopped, I pushed it hard and grabbed Alice out of the way before she got hit. I set Cheerio down on the ground and got down to Alice's height.
"Hey, don't cry honey," I said, wiping her tears away, "Cheerio had gone to a better place now, he'll be fine, look, look up, he'll be watching you, wave Alice!" I said softly, pointing to the sky. Alice waved towards the sky, still choking a little.
"Hey there, he'll be ok, you'll be ok, Things will just be a little different," I said, trying to comfort her. She nodded and hugged me.
"Thanks Jakie," she said, and ran off. I noticed the difference in her voice, what was she up to?
I went back to pushing Nessie on the swing. I noticed that Edward and Bella weren't alone; there were three other kids there. I picked Nessie up and walked over to them. There was a short blond kid, a little girl with long ginger hair, and a small black kid.
"Hi, I'm Laurent, this is James and Victoria, we just wanted to know if you wanted to play," said Laurent, the little black kid who was standing in the middle of James and Victoria. Edward eyed Laurent suspiciously.
"Hey! You brought a snack!" shouted James, pointing to Bella's Milky stars. Edward made a grab for them.
"Their Bella's and you can't have them!" said Edward, protecting the Milky stars. Bella smiled at her protector. She hugged Edward's arm and smiled. Victoria glared at Bella. James and Edward were glaring at each other and I think Laurent finally realised I was there.
"Hello," I said, Nessie giggled and waved. Laurent backed away, probably at the size of me. I was huge compared to them, I was about 6'5, and they weren't even 2ft tall yet. Laurent pointed to me and James and Victoria saw me too. James grabbed Victoria's hand and backed away. I laughed quietly.
"I'm not gonna hurt you," I teased, eyeing them. They got scared and ran away. Edward glared at me. Whoops, looks like it was his battle.
"Why don't we all play a game huh?" I said, quickly changing the subject so Edward wouldn't attack. Edward and Bella smiled,
"YAY!" they said and ran off to get Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Seth. Esme called us in, they were going to sing happy birthday, and we could play the game afterwards. All the Cullens were in already. Emmett looked pleased, hell no, what has the kid done now? Alice was smiling evilly at me, she had something planned. Jasper was getting impatient, eyeing the cake looking hungry. Edward and Bella were smiling at each other, Nessie was reaching for the cake, but I held her back. All the girls were waiting to sing, I began to get scared. Esme returned and they began to sing,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHAY TO ROSALIE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" they all shouted. I covered Nessie's ears, but she didn't seem to mind the noise, she just wanted at the cake. Rose blew out the candles and the cake exploded. Yes, Exploded. All the girls and the Cullens, Bella and Seth jumped and ducked. I hid Nessie behind my back, but she loved it. Esme ducked as well. Emmett came up laughing his head off. Jasper made a dive for the cake, Edward, Bella, Alice and Seth were nowhere to be seen, Nessie was giggling on my back, eating the cake that exploded on me, which no covered my t-shirt, face and hair. Lucky thing I had my eyes closed. Rose was crying, all the girls were giving Emmett and Jasper evil glares and trying to comfort her. Esme grabbed the boys by the scuff of the neck and threw them out into the garden, not literally, she's not that cruel, but she set them down and locked them out. I grabbed Nessie, and ran outside. Edward, Bella, Seth and Alice were already out there, setting out cones in a square shape.
"We're playing Baseball!" announced Alice. They had already picked teams. Emmett, Jasper and Edward and Seth, me Nessie, Bella and Alice. Alice was the bowler (Please forgive me, I know NOTHING about Baseball, it's not really a sport played over here, it's more of an American sport, SORRY) Bella batted first, she got to first base and fell over, Edward ran over to help her. I batted next with Nessie in my arms, I set Nessie down and she ran. Emmett, Jasper, Seth and Edward were easy on her, she got a home run, after about two minutes of cheering and her cutting all the corners just going around Alice and coming back. Alice batted next and I took over bowling. She got to second base. Then we switched sides. The boys were batting. Alice still wanted to bowl. Edward batted first, he got a home run before we could spot the ball, he may be small, but that kid sure is fast. Emmett batted next, he got a home run as well, only because he batted so hard I had to run 100 metres with Nessie in my arms to get the ball. Seth batted next, he got to third base and we managed to get him out. Jasper batted last, he managed to get to second base and stay in.
Our game ended when Esme called us in for cake half an hour later (A newly made cake). We won, mostly because of Nessie. They couldn't put her out, her little face was too hard to resist, and she had terrible tantrums. I've never seen one, but I hear they're pretty bad.
After cake I noticed Emmett playing with Sassy, well, trying too. Alice had gone upstairs with Jasper, Seth, Edward and Bella. I had Nessie on my lap. The eight girls headed out with Esme for ice-cream.
Sassy wasn't too pleased, she scraped Emmett and hissed. Emmett ran, he jumped over the sofa and sat down next to me.
"What's up?" I asked. Emmett looked at me, like a seven year old was going to tell me his evil plans.
"WetriedtomakeSassyandCheeriodowhatthemonkeysweredoingatthezoobutSassykilledCheerioandAlicewasreallyupset," he said super fast, sounded ashamed and hurt, and then he said," can we have a funeral for Cheerio?" *speechless* HOW CAN HE JUST ASK THAT AFTER WHAT HE JUST SAID? And he said it calmly too?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH IS KID?! And they tried to make Sassy and Cheerio Mate?! That was so wrong in so many ways! Yet quite hilarious, but still incredibly wrong and sick! But killing Cheerio? That was pretty wrong, but Alice doesn't seem too upset, and I know she has something planned. Emmett was looking at the ground, ashamed. But then after he finished being ashamed (which only lasted about 30 seconds, in which I was still speechless) he asked
"Can we, please, please, please, please, please, please?!" he pleaded. I nodded, still speechless at what they had done.
"YAY!" he shouted and ran up the stairs to get Alice, Edward, Bella, Seth, and Jasper. Nessie was still sitting on my knee, I almost forgot she was there; she was happily chewing on the keys Santa gave her for Christmas, which now that I think about it, was a pretty freakin weird experience.
A few minutes later, the Cullens and Seth came down the stairs in Black clothes. Alice was wearing a black dress, a black hat with a black veil over her face. She has a box of tissues with her and a bunch of flowers, for the grave I assume. Bella was wearing a black dress; Emmett, Jasper, Edward and Seth were all wearing black suits. Bella had one arm around Alice who was crying quietly, telling Bella she was ok, and Bella's other arm was patting Alice's arm. The boys were murmuring to each other. Bella shot me a glare that reminded me of the metaphor "if looks could kill" Alice stopped her crying for a moment and at the same moment the boys stopped murmuring to each other and they all looked at me.
"You can't wear that!" said Alice, outraged. She clicked her fingers and Emmett ran up the stairs and bought down a black jacket and a white collar and a black coat for Nessie. He threw it at me with a scowl on his face. Alice clicked her fingers again and Jasper, Seth, and Emmett ran off in three different directions. I put on the jacket and the black coat for Nessie, ignoring the white collar.
"Ahem," said Alice, clicking her fingers again, I scowled but put on the white collar. The boys came back, Emmett and Jasper had a small coffin on their shoulders, Seth was walking in front, along with Edward. Alice and Bella ran quickly behind. Alice coughed at me and pointed behind her. I walked behind her still carrying Nessie. A funeral march began to play, who knows where from, and Alice began to quietly cry again, Bella comforted her. Alice was dabbing her eyes with a tissue underneath her veil. The boys all had serious expressions and I doddered on behind them. They took this all so seriously, even though none of us were really sad. I was outraged they did that, Nessie didn't know what was going on, the boys saw this as a game, Alice was sad before but then she came up with a plan and Bella, well, who knows, us guys will never understand girls. (YES! THE GIRLS OF THE WORLD ARE SAFE FROM THE BOY SPECIES EVER ATTACKING, Sorry, had to say that)
We all marched towards the flower patch where the kids stopped, there were chairs set out, Alice and Bella sat at the front. Emmett, Seth, Jasper and Edward sat behind them. There were several teddies holding tissues filling in the other seats. Emmett took Nessie off me and pushed me to the front where they had set the Coffin down. Engraved on the coffin was "Cheeriio, a beloveded freind who we will neber forgot (Aparts rom Rennezmee, she don't eben no what happenin)" I smiled, whoever engraved it can't spell. They were all looking at me, Oh, oh! I was supposed to be the minister. Oh, okay.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of family and friends to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony, which is commended of St. Paul to be an honourable estate, instituted of God and therefore is not to be entered into unadvisedly or carelessly, but reverently, joyfully and in the love of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined..." I started in a weird voice. Alice coughed.
"That's a wedding, we're at a funeral... *cough*" she coughed, Oh, whoops. I started again, but stopped before I could even start,
"I don't know funerals!" I whisper. Alice scowled so I decided on making something up on the spot.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of family and friends to join together...Ahem...to celebrate...I mean to....um..., uh..... CelebratethelifeofCheeriotheChinchillawhodiedbeacuseEmmettkilledhim!" I finished. Then I looked at Emmett, he was bright red.
"HA!" I said, right in his face. Yeah, it was pretty mean, but none of them were sad, I was, I'll miss the little fur ball. Emmett and Jasper carried the coffin over to a hole in the ground; Emmett elbowed me in the stomach on the way. Ow! That kid can elbow hard, and he's seven! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR ME?! Either he's in incredibly strong or I'm incredibly weak. I MUST GO TO GYM!
Alice was now crying as the Coffin was being lowered, Bella and Emmett were crying too. Edward, Jasper and Seth were trying to put on brave faces, Nessie even gave a sniffle. A moment later three men came round the corner. They looked a bit surprised at what the kids and I were wearing but ignored it. Alice ran over to them, whispered something to them and pointed to me. They walked right over to me. They had had the letters RSPCA written on their sweaters. Oh hell no! I glared at Alice, who smirked at me through her "fake" tears.
"Are you Jacob black?" one of them asked. I nodded, still glaring at Alice.
"Did you kill Cheerio the Chinchilla?" they asked, writing this down on a note book. I glared at them.
"No, I didn't, but I doubt that you want to hear the real truth," I sapped. Alice had gotten me into trouble before, the whole lot of them had, but it was getting to a point where it was almost crossing the line. Sure, I could never be mad at a bunch of kids, no, I could never do that, but No-one said anything about not taking my anger out on the policemen, I need a little fun. Besides, Carlisle will be home soon, he called when Esme left. He heard about Cheerio, I gave him the truth.
"Well, what is the truth?" one of them asked calmly, impatient.
"Uh.....Like I said, I doubt that you wanna know, GET OFF MY BACK!" I shouted at them, I was enjoying this. Alice began giggling. Nessie, still in my arms squeaked.
"Are you inflicting harm upon any of these children?" the other one asked, anger getting the better of him. He looked disgusted.
"No, but they've called Child abuse before on me, doesn't mean I did anything, they have no proof," I said casually, like there was nothing to it. I shrugged my shoulders.
"You are arrested for child abuse, animal abuse..." one of the started, taking Nessie off me as the other one put handcuff's on me, Emmett interrupted.
"Blowing up our neighbours house, robbery, fake ID, racism, blowing up our garden, killing my best friend, ect," he counted off his fingers, "the list is endless, this guy has a criminal record!" said Emmett excitedly. They looked at me horrified.
Carlisle came through the door.
"Alice, I got you a hamster!" he called. Alice ran into the kitchen screaming "DADDY!"
"Hey, that's the father, bring it up with him, I'm outta here!" I said, managing to escape, still with handcuffs on but at least I got away. One of them began running after me, no use, I was too fast.
I laughed as I reached my house. Dad saw me at the door.
"I don't want to know," he said, eyeing my handcuffs. I laughed and he went inside. What a day!
Sorry this chapter is sooo late. Exams and such. PLEASE REVIEW!
I'm away on DOFE, Duke of Edinburgh award this weekend, basically today, and tomorrow, I wanted to finish this before I went cause I didn't want you guys to wait two more days. Klutzerella did it before me and said it was hell so, I'm gonna die so please pray for me! Extra brownie points if you do!
One more thing, look up this song, only if you want to, but it's awesome! This is the song I shall be annoying the hell outta people singing on DOFE, 26km to walk with a heavy rucksack on my back! WOOO! I can't wait...... not. The song's called, Billy don't be a hero by Paper lace. It's an old song but awesome.
Remember REVIEW AND PRAY! Brownie points are available!
