Chapter Forty Four:

Masochist

What's your problem? Rabaeth asked. You're being antisocial, when you need friends the most. You masochist.

You have no idea, Seren replied.

Actually, I do. I'm in your fricking head, for goodness' sake, Rabaeth said sarcastically.

Well.. I can't face either of them right now… I'm glad they're together and like each other, but…

That's leaves you out.

Yep, but that's fine.

You know, you could have had a chance with him.

No, I couldn't have, because I realized this is all temporary. The first chance I get, I'm going to go escape, and again, I… I don't want to leave him broken. I've left enough people like that. Seren sighed, and slowed to a normal walk. I've gotta stop before I kill myself and run into a wall.

Why don't you just give up on escaping?! Rabaeth yelled in her head, enraged. Why can't you just get over yourself?! What do you have to go back to? You want another life- how is that better than this? I mean, think about it. You could be born in any situation! You could end up in an abusive family-

Poor, destitute, living on the streets, yeah, I know. But that's a chance I'm willing to take. I can't take this sadness with me anymore, Rabaeth. I want a clean slate. I can't bear to think about Kisuke. I miss him so much. I hope he ends up with Yoruichi, at least.

Well, that's stupid. Let me get this straight. You're convinced you're headed on a railroad track to the end, so you'll just set up every guy who likes you with someone else and you'll feel better while you go and die. Brilliant.

I know, right? She replied. It all seemed like such a good idea in my head…

If only everything worked like the inside of your head, he commented dryly.

Ooh, I hope he's not back, Seren thought as she snuck into Ulquiorra's room. "Maybe I can just pretend that I'm asleep, and he'll assume that since I'm back that we're good and I won't have to talk to him-"

"And who would this 'him' be?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Umm… Chompy!" Seren said. "Definitely!" She smiled in an attempt to fool him.

He raised an eyebrow.

She deflated. "So, you're not falling for it. Darn it. There goes my plan!" She slapped her fist into her palm in an over exaggerated gesture of frustration. "Darn. I'll have to go to bed and think up another one. See you tomorrow morning-" She walked away-

"Stop."

She stopped.

"Turn around."

She turned around.

"All right," she sighed, frustrated. "So you won't just leave me alone? Maybe we could pretend last night never happened? Or better yet, that I'm not here, I'm just a random hostage, guest, whatever you sick people say over here, and you don't care what I do, just so long as I'm here at Aizen's beck and call. Deal?" She held out her hand.

He blinked at her. "I'm afraid I can't do that."

Seren snatched her hand back. "Oh yeah. You're still under Aizen's orders. Befriend me or whatever? Well, I'm not falling for it! You can get killed for all I care!" She shouted bitterly.

He seemed to.. sadden at that.

Oh, shit. She made Ulquiorra sad. Or maybe it was just a trick of those tear drops on his cheeks? Definitely.

Aww, come one! He's so sad looking! How can you resist that face? Rabaeth was showing himself again.

Screw you! She yelled at him. You're still the one who got me in this mess!

Nana, he snickered.

Aww, damn you! You know, when I die, you do too, right? I'll make sure it's extra painful so you have to suffer!

You have to suffer too, he countered.

Screw you! She screeched back.

She was too busy arguing with herself she didn't notice Ulquiorra's approach.

"You're making that weird face again. Are you arguing with yourself?" He asked.

She looked up- he was right there-"Whoa. Buddy, too close!" She said.

He blinked at her.

Again, typical stoic Ulquiorra.

"Anyways," he continued, "why would I bother with it then, since you already know?"

"Exactly," she said, looking him in the eye. "So go ahead, I know you hate me." She sighed. "You know, this is so creepy. You don't even know what love is, so you have no idea exactly how much this hurts! I HATE you!" She looked to the ground, face burning. "You don't even know what love is!"

He looked at her, calm, steady. "It's where you can't stop thinking about someone, even though you want to."

Ah, there it was. She looked up at him, surprised. "Wha-"

"You want them with you constantly. You don't ever want to let them go." His eyes were turning burning, intense. She couldn't stop looking into them-

One of his hands found the back of her neck, resting there. The other gently slipped under her arm and around her waist.

"I love you, Seren," he finished.

And then he kissed her.

Something inside her was reeling in shock- who are you and what have you done with the real Ulquiorra?- in another part, everything clicked. Of course. There had been signs…

But those must have all been false! Why was he kissing her?! More of that fakeness? She could see it:

Aizen: Ulquiorra, kiss her and apologize! Yess! Muwahaha!

Ulquiorra: Yes, Aizen-sama. I am your brainless slave.

But it didn't matter. She was too tired, too beaten to fight. She would rather believe this beautiful lie than suffer in her own harsh reality.

It's a chance I'm willing to take.

She surrendered to him. She relaxed against his arms, which held her firm next to his chest. Her arms, of their own accord, wrapped themselves around his neck, latching firmly onto him.

He was warm. Burning, in fact.

That's all right. It matched her own feelings.

She responded to him, hugging him close, their lips moving together. It was fire, fire! It was all consuming, wild, uncontrollable. All good sense flew out the door. She wanted him- all of him, right now. She pressed against him with flaring passion.

Then… he stopped. He pulled away slowly, then rested his forehead on hers. For a moment, all they did was breathe heavily, heads together. Then he moved his head, and pressed her face against his throat. Her eyelashes tickled. He buried his face in her hair, just holding her.

Seren breathed his smell in deeply.

She had so many things to say… but none of them mattered right now.

Ahaha! Yes! I'm going to leave it there!! I'm a meaniieeeeee!!! HAHAHAH oh well it'll probably be up by tomorrow. Eheh yay! Love scenes! Wheeeeee! XDDD