Chapter Fourteen: Bonding
It has been five days since I last seen Edward. Five excruciating days. I've been a complete and utter wreck. I barely have spoken a sentence to anyone. Charlie seemed concerned and asked if I was alright. I didn't have the strength to answer him. He did not ask again.
It seemed as if I did not have to do again, anymore. I feel weak - and numb. There was nothing I could do. I felt the same as before I imprinted on Edward. Nothing. The only thing I could do is listen to everyone and not speak a word. No matter what I do, Sam gets irritated. He had the audacity to ask me, "What is your problem?" I wanna to snap his neck there, but instead I just gave him the death glare. The thing could not take a hint, and continued asking me. Jacob stopped him before I went insane and ran off. I just had to get out of there.
Jacob's car pulled up in front of my house, breaking my concentration. I realized that I had been starring at the ceiling for an half hour. Jin jumped out of car and started skipping his way over to the front door. Alice, apparently, isn't going to come with us to go shopping. The only positive result to me and Edward breaking up. I winced at the thought and shook my head. I'm such a horrible person.
The door bell rang and Jin walked inside before I could respond. "Hey, Belly!" he greeted me. I looked at him and waved. "Where's your stuff?" Apparently, going to the beach means three things:
A. I'm not allowed to drive.
B. I have to bring supplies to go in the water and tan instead of just trying to relax.
And . . .
C. They are allowed to torture me.
I just shrugged, not knowing how to answer him. He shook his head and folded his arms over his chest. "Belly, Belly, Belly . . . what am I going to do with you? You're lucky that I have more supplies!" he scowled me. It seemed as if he was trying to get me upset by calling me 'Belly'. I just frowned. "Come on . . ." he said before grabbing my hand and skipping to the car. I solemnly followed him without protesting.
Jake was in the driver's seat with sunglasses on. Jin let go of my hand and ran to the passenger's seat. "Hey, Bells," Jake greeted me with a smile.
"Hi," I managed a whispered.
"Come on," he said, gesturing towards the back seats to his car. I nodded and climbed into the car. He took off immediately.
"First Beach here we come!" Jin yelled before blasting music. It was Clay Atkins newest album. I wasn't listening, I just starred at the back of Jake's seat the whole ride. Thinking about everything. I still had to talk to Jake about our parents and . . . Edward. He seems to be the only person who understands me right now. I still couldn't believe he is my brother - my twin brother. I couldn't understand why Renee hadn't told me before. She was always truthful with me.
"Bella!" Jake called, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked at him. "Are you alright?" No.
"Yes, I'm fine . . ." I said before jumping out the car. Some how, we were already at the beach. He narrowed his eyes at me, obviously he doesn't believe me. The sun was shining bright, it was miracle. I frowned.
"Come on, let's find a good spot to lay down," Jin said before running into the sand.
Jake and I followed him, without speaking. There were a lot of people at the beach. Probably because of the good weather. Jin found a good spot near the water and sat down. Jake and I were left to put a blanket on top of the hot sand. We spread the blanket out on the sand, the blanket moved slightly with the wind. Jin jumped on the blanket as soon it landed softly. He is a very impatient person . . .
Jake took off his shoes and then his shirt. Jin was starring at his abs as he did so. Jin looked as if he just saw a flying saucer. I shook my head and sat on the blanket. I wasn't planning on doing anything, I just wanted to watch the ocean until it started raining. It is the only thing I had in mind at the moment. I hope that Jin or Jake won't make me do anything.
Jake sat on the blanket next to Jin and Jin sat on his lap. I frowned and looked away. Ben and Angela were running across the sand on the other side of the beach. Angela screaming because Ben had something in his hand that looks very similar to a snake, but it is a branch.
I looked back at the ocean, watching the waves crash onto the shore. I did not concentrate on anything else, I needed to get my thoughts for everything. I needed a break. One week knowing Edward Cullen changed everything. I am amazed by the effect that man has on me. I frowned at my thoughts. I miss him. Too much for words. It is killing me for being away from him. I feel weak, and worthless. I hate this feeling. I feel worse than I have before. I need to be with Edward. He was the only thing in my life keeping me sane. I know it's unhealthy to need someone to be with you. But, I do not care.
My plan is still in progress. It sounds like suicide, but I'm strong enough. I could do it. I just need to know what I have to do exactly. I am still not too sure what to do.
"Bells?" Jake called. I turned my head towards him, not saying anything. "Want to walk down the beach?" I just nodded. Jake gave me half a smile and kissed Jin's head. "J, why don't you go in the water?" Jake suggested.
"Yeah!" Jin said and started running towards the shore.
"Come on," Jake said before walking towards the right side of the beach where no one was. I nodded and started following him. I looked up at the bright sun. I miss the sun. I wanted to appreciate it while it lasts . . .
Only one moment of uncomfortable silence it took before Jacob said something, "How been doing, Bells? Tell me the truth." He was not joking around. I did not want him to worry.
"I've been fine," I answered in a low voice as if I said a sore throat.
"I want the truth," he stretched the word 'truth'. He knew me all too well. There is no point for me to lie to him. I looked at the floor thinking of a way to sum up my feelings without rambling how I feel like crap.
"Honestly, Jake?" He nodded. "I feel dead inside," that was the only thing I needed to say. He understood right away, he did not push for a more better answer. I then remembered that I should tell Jake about us being twins . . . Crap. I decided to change the subject. "So, um, you talk to Billy?"
Jake looked confused for a moment before answering, "About what?"
I chickened out, "Oh, um, nothing-"
"Bella, what is with you?" he asked angry. I looked at his face, he stopped walking. He is angry at me? I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off. "You don't trust me or something? You barely talk to me about anything! I know that you're not fine and yet every time I ask you 'how are you?' you give me 'fine'. Stop lying to me for once!" he almost yelled, but he kept his voice down so anyone else would not hear. I stood quiet for a moment before absorbing his words. I could not tell him the truth, because I didn't want him to worry. But, he needed to know. I would feel guilty for telling him the truth, I don't know why. "Bella, you can tell me anything."
Tears started filling my eyes. I looked to the ground so Jake wouldn't see. He hugged me tightly and I cried in his chest. He rubbed my back as I cried. "Just tell me," he whispered into my ear and hiding his face in my hair.
"Charlie adopted me . . ." I started in a whisper. I needed to find courage to finish my sentence. "He adopted me. My real father is Billy." Jake didn't talk talk or move for a while. I got worried. Is he upset at me for not telling him sooner? "I'm sorry," I whispered.
He chuckled quietly. "What are you sorry for? Being my sister?" He laughed.
I frowned. "I thought you are mad at me for not telling you sooner . . ." I whispered. He kissed my head.
"Nah, you needed time to get use to it. I wouldn't expect you to tell me the second you found out," he answered and hugged me tighter. I didn't respond. "It's funny how I always thought you had my nose," he laughed. I smiled a little. Only a little.
"So, are you going to talk to Billy?" I asked in a small whisper.
"I'm not sure, I have to think about it . . ." he answered. I nodded, understanding. I still have not talked to Charlie about it. In fact, I have been trying to avoid him more than talk to him. I didn't feel like talking at all this week. "How about you?" Jake asked.
"I haven't talked to Charlie yet . . ." I answered. He nodded and let go.
"Come on," he said before walking towards the shore.
"Where?" I asked. I hope he doesn't want me to go into the water.
"Just come!" he said before grabbing my hand and dragging me back to the blanket.
"Jake, let go," I complained and tried to pull my hand away. He didn't let go.
"No! I'm going to do whatever it takes to make you smile and that involves torturing you," he explained with a wicked grin. I stopped pulling.
"Thanks, Jake," I said. My brother smiled in response.
