"Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked,
Money don't grow on trees…
There ain't nothin' in this world for free
I know I can't slow down, I can't hold back,
Though, you know, I wish I could."
- Ain't No Rest for the Wicked – Cage the Elephant
The End
I sighed after I finished talking.
"Wow," Bella murmured. "That was a lot to take in."
"Yes, well, I lead a pretty fucked up life," I replied quietly.
"Don't we all," Bella agreed. She scowled before asking, "How did your parents die, Edward?"
I swallowed, my face blanching. I couldn't tell her. Then she'd know, she'd know everything… My hands shook as I ran them through my hair, letting out a breath slowly.
"Bella, I can't–"
"It's okay," she said in a soothing, running a hand down my arm. "You don't need to tell me. Must have been pretty recent, huh?"
"No." I shook my head. "It was a few years ago. I just… I trust you, Bella, but I don't want to ruin that. There's too much to tell you and once I start talking, I won't stop."
She scowled. "What do you mean?"
"Just tell me your story, please," I begged. "I'll tell you more later, I promise."
"Fine." She took a deep breath. "I used to live in Forks. It's a small town on the peninsula. I wasn't really all that bad. Sure, I drank, did drugs, fooled around with guys, but what girl doesn't in high school?
"Anyway, last year, I got caught snorting some coke in my room by my dad." She closed her eyes, smiling humorlessly. "He's a cop, so he flipped out, of course. Kicked me out and told me to never come back. I moved here with my ex, Jacob Black.
"He abandoned me a couple of months later, and I was pressed for cash, so I gave one of the guys in my apartment building a blow job for some money." She shrugged. "And now here I am. A hooker with absolutely no way out of this life."
"You haven't talked to your dad since then?" I asked.
Bella shook her head. "He'll come looking for me eventually. I'm sure Jacob's informed him of what I've been doing already, and my dad's got a grudge to get over. He'll come around soon enough."
"How long have you been doing this now?"
"Six months or so. Pays the rent," she joked, smiling for a second, her eyes watery.
My heart ached in my chest for her. It was the first time I'd felt connected to another human being, and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. It made me feel vulnerable, like Bella had control over me. I hate that. I liked being in control. I liked being selfish. It made my decisions so much easier.
More than hat, I trusted her. I felt like I could tell her anything, and that was a damn dangerous feeling to have. I could already feel the word vomit rising in my throat. I tried swallowing it. This would only end badly if I began to talk.
"Bella, did you find it odd that everyone died after I was finished with them?" I asked quietly, opening my heart up to her.
"I hadn't really noticed," Bella replied, scowling. "Why?"
"I shouldn't tell you," I mumbled. "I really shouldn't."
"Please, Edward."
I sighed. "Sometimes I get these feelings, impulses kind of, to do things I shouldn't. When I get mad, I get too mad. And because of my mother's religious outlook on life, I've developed a sort of…phobia of certain people." I ran my hands through my hair, tugging on it. "I'm scared of wicked people, Bella."
"What do you mean, wicked?" Bella prodded.
"People like you," I replied bluntly. "Robbers, schizophrenics, murderers, people like that."
Bella scowled. "I don't understand."
I began to bounce my leg violently. "My father cheated on my mom all the time," I whispered. "My mother… She was a little off the wall. She was very extreme. She used to beat me when I did something wrong. Even little things like forgetting to say my prayers would end in pain for me." I closed my eyes, the scene flashing before my eyes.
"Mother, I'm sixteen now, you can't pull this shit anymore!" I exclaimed as she pulled the belt off the hook, her nails biting into my ear, where she was holding me. "Let go of me."
"Edward, you will only learn through punishment," my mother replied cryptically.
"Elizabeth, let go of him!" my father cried. "He's done nothing wrong!"
Tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry." Her hand tightened around the belt. She cracked it across my back, her lips trembling.
"Stop it," Father seethed, grabbing her wrists.
"Let go of me!" she exploded, pushing him away. "Don't touch me, you cheating son of a bitch!" Her eyes widened as she realized that she'd just cursed.
I gaped at my father. He was cheating on my mother? His wife? How could I have not noticed it?
"Elizabeth," Father whispered, his eyes angry. "Stop it."
"No! I won't!" she retaliated. "Are you scared he'll take my side? Are you scared you'll be left alone with that tramp?"
My head was pounding. My vision was red. This was the final straw. Physical abuse I could handle. But this kind of raw pain couldn't be contained. I left the room, my parents screaming at each other. I ended up in my rain, going immediately to my sock drawer. I pulled out my handgun, the one I'd bought off of Tyler Crowley, some thug at school. I only wanted it for protection at first, but now I needed to stop the screaming once and for all.
My parents were still arguing when I re-entered the room.
Mother noticed the gun first. Her eyes widened and she gasped, backing away from me. "Ed…Edward, please. Put the gun down."
"Why?" I asked, surprisingly calm. "So you can whip me until I bleed again?"
My father tried to grab me.
"Don't touch me," I warned. "Don't lay your dirty hands on me!"
My vision was still red. My anger was hazing my judgment. As soon as my father attempted to move towards me again, I aimed and shot, claiming his life almost immediately when the bullet connected with his chest. My mother screamed, running to my father.
"No, no, no," she moaned, touching his body, trying to wake him up. "Wake up, Edward."
Hearing his name, my name, come out her lips in such a sweet way made my anger even more defined.
"How could you?" she demanded, her voice rough with tears. "How could you do this, Edward?"
"Stop. Saying. My. Name," I ground out.
She wailed, her hand clutching his dead fingers to her chest. "Edward, Edward, Edwa–"
I shot her as close to the throat as possible. She tried to scream, choking on her own blood. I left the room as she died. I grabbed the gasoline from the garage, poured it all over the room, and threw a match. I watched my house burn, tears streaming down my face as I watched everything that kept me grounded go up in flames.
Bella was silent, her eyes wide, her mouth open.
I was shaking. Too much, I was telling her too much.
"You killed your parents?" she gasped. "You are fucked. "I'm getting out of here–"
I grabbed her wrist. "No, don't leave. Don't you understand? They were so impure, just like Emmett, and that priest–"
"You killed those people, too?" she shrieked. "Fuck this shit! Let go of me, you twisted fuck!" She wrenched her wrist free, but I grabbed her ankle instead, dragging her back to me.
"You can't leave," I told her through grinding teeth. "I trusted you."
Tears filled her eyes as she struggled to try to get away.
"Bella, I really wanted to like you," I sighed. "I really did." I stood up and walked to the door, blocking her only way out. "And now you've left me no choice." I grabbed my gun off of the counter.
Bang.
I looked down. Blood began leaking out of the hole in my abdomen. I scowled at Bella. She was holding a gun in shaking hands and her purse was by her feet. She must have been carrying a gun for protection. I fell to my knees, suddenly dizzy. She beat me to the punch, and now I was going to die.
"Now we've rid ourselves of one more wicked person," she snarled as she walked by. "See you in hell." She slammed the door behind her.
Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked until we close our eyes for good, I thought as I choked out my last breath.
Thank you all for being so awesome about my twisted little fic. This is the end! Right now, I'm still writing Carpe Diem, which is closing in on the end, and I just started a Juno-inspired fic called The Beautiful Letdown, if you're interested in some romantic comedy.
Thank you so, so much!
Mary
