Dear all,

I must apologize for not updating in such a long time. The last couple of months have been extremely hard, and I am currently dealing with a lot of painful emotions. Please bear with me; I'll try my best to update, but I will not promise anything.

This chapter has been written a few months ago on paper, and I only managed to type it up now. The next one is also on paper and I will do my best to post it as soon as possible.

Read, review but mostly enjoy.

xoxo LadyTrish

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS...I wish I would, but I only own a broken laptop and an overactive imagination.


Memories

Lunch time had come and she could feel the energy of the building being directed towards the exits. Most of the agents preferred to spend their free hour in a café or a restaurant in the vicinity of NCIS, and she knew that her own team was no different from the rest. Yet here she was, agent Ziva David, former Mossad officer, holding a four year old boy in her lap. His head snuggled close to her heart, his eyes shut tightly, his face still flushed from the strong wave of emotions he went through, his eyes still wet from the tears he shed, but now his breathing was even. Noah's right hand was curled into a fist, holding on to Ziva's blue blazer, while his left arm hung lazily next to her waist. He looked peaceful and content, but Ziva knew what lay beneath, she knew that it was only temporary escape from the world that took away his ima and aba.

Absent minded Ziva rubber Noah's back, while thousands of thoughts shot through her head. Anger, pain, disappear, grief were only a few but above all she was worried for the little boy in her lap and for herself. He stirred slightly, leaving out a heavy sight and for a second Ziva thought he might wake, but Noah continued his slumber. His action triggered a memory, long buried in her heart and pushed aside only to make room for more painful ones.

She remembered the way she used to hold Tali, when her father would yell at her younger sister for being happy all the time. She used to snuggle in her arms, the same way Noah did, crying and cursing only to fall asleep sooner after. Remembering Tali and the fact that she no longer walked this earth brought Ziva on the brink of tears, but she fought them back, locking the memory of her sister in the hidden drawers of her heart.

Another memory washed over her, this time related to Becka, and Ziva had to swallow the large lump forming in her throat. Becka and Ziva had met when they both were only eight years old. She remembered that day well, because it had been in Haifa, Ziva's favorite place in Israel. It had been warm and sunny October morning in the neighborhood of Bat Galim, and Ziva decided to take a walk. After a few feet she had noticed a large moving wan, tailed by a red Ford. When the Ford had stopped a small form emerged from the passenger side of the car, looking curiously around. Her eyes met Ziva's, but neither of them walked closer or even said hello. With a swift movement, Ziva turned and ran home only to tell her mother moments later of the new family moving into the neighboring house. Ziva's mother had welcomed Becka and her grandmother with a wide smile and a fig pie that same evening.

The families visited each other often and Becka had been overwhelmed by the amount of love she received from the David family. The young girl had not been too fond of Ziva in the beginning, she considered her distant and proud; the one that brought the two girls together had been Tali.

As the years passed, Ziva had never felt the urge to ask her friend where her parents were. She was the daughter of a high ranked Mossad officer and she suspected that Becka's parents were as well involved with Mossad. One evening though, when both were about fourteen, Ziva found out that both of Becka's parents were no longer among the living. Her mother, Ahava, had been a very skilled agent, but when her cover had been blown, the young woman had paid with her life. Becka had told her how her mother had infiltrated into a Russia mafia cell, where she had bewitched one of the main players there. He had fallen in love with Ahava, but had killed her when he found out her true identity and intentions. Her father Noah, a chemical engineer had passed away a year later, leaving Becka with her grandmother.

A shy smile graced Ziva's features when she remembered the day Becka and Ari had met. It had been love at first sight with Ziva being the person who provided cover stories for the two lovers. Their relationship lasted for three years, with only Ziva's mother having vague knowledge of its existence. Ari's intense involvement with Mossad and director David involvement in his son's life had destroyed the relationship leaving both parties heartbroken. Ari had asked to be assigned to an undercover mission, while Becka used her trust fund to pursue her studies abroad. Ziva and Becka's roads parted when Ziva had opted to study in Paris while Becka chose Geneva. Ziva had been more than happy to escape the drama that engulfed her life. Tali had died the previous year and her mother had died, after struggling with cancer for a long time, two months before the beginning of Ziva's first semester at Sorbonne.

In the end their paths crossed again in Israel, both fighting for the same cause, both filled with rage and feeling the need to seek revenge. The terrorist cell that had killed Tali a few years before had killed Becka's grandmother on the streets of Tel Aviv.

At age 23 they had successfully managed to wipe out the cell, barely making it out alive. In the heat of gun fire, Becka had met Caleb and after a long and painful recovery the two got engaged only to be married two years later. Shortly after Caleb's and Becka's small reception Ziva left for America after receiving news of Aris' actions.

When Becka had informed her that she was expecting her first child, Ziva had flown to Tel Aviv to be by her side, and when Noah had been born Ziva had been there.

Over the years the two friends have stayed in touch, constantly visiting each other, but one particular memory scared Ziva the most. For a long time she had chosen to ignore to recall the evening when Becka had placed the life of her son in her hands.

On Noah's second birthday, Ziva had returned to Tel Aviv, her position as liaison officer at NCIS terminated, the weight of Jenny's death heavy on her shoulders. Before she had been sent on another mission she had visited her friend, celebrating Noah's birthday.

Ziva closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath while moving Noah closer to her heart. She could recall the conversation perfectly, like it would have happened two hours and not two years ago.

Flashback≈

She was sitting on the comfortable beige couch of Becka's and Caleb's home, a glass of red wine in front of her, while Becka picked up the wrapping paper that was lying on the floor, chuckling softly. Noah had been ecstatic when he had seen the big pile of colorful boxes.

She finally sat down on the couch crossing her legs, snuggling closer to Caleb. They looked perfect together and deep down inside Ziva envied them a little bit for having found happiness.

"Ziva I'm so sorry for you loss. I know Jenny was a dear friend of yours." Becka spoke sadness in her eyes.

Ziva looked away, afraid that the tears that she had been holding in for so long would find their way to the surface.

"At least she died doing something she was passionate about. Her death was planned and she did not allow her illness to claim her." Ziva replied, her voice thick with sorrow.

"I don't even want to imagine how agent Gibbs might feel. Losing someone who is close to you is hard, but loosing the woman you love can kill you." Caleb spoke, while pulling Becka closer.

"Ziva, I know you got accustomed to America and I know you see all the people there as your family and as your friend I'm asking: how are you? " Becka asked, leaning forward so she could see Ziva better.

"I'm fine Becka. No worries." The swift answer came, but her eyes never met her friends, too afraid that she might see the truth behind her deceiving words.

"Ziva, look at me and tell me again that you are fine." Becka demanded and Ziva closed her eyes, taking a big breath.

Slowly she turned, so she could met Becka's gaze and spoke: "Honestly…I miss them dearly, all of them. I miss Gibbs more then I could ever miss my own father, I miss McGee's kind heart, I miss Abby's craziness and Ducky's wittiness, I even miss the autopsy Gremlin that is Palmer; but mostly I miss Tony. I know he blames himself for Jenny's death and I am worried about him because I left him in the company of sadness, despair and a bottle of Jack Daniels."

"I know Ziva. I wish I could take the pain away from you." Becka whispered.

Silence embraced them, while all of them were lost in their own thoughts.

"Ziva, I know you have been though a lot the past couple of weeks, but we need to speak to you about a very important matter." Caleb broke the silence.

"It's more a request, and we are doing this because we trust you, and only you."Becka trailed away, causing Ziva to raise an eyebrow.

"This a very delicate matter and we beg of you to keep it to yourself. Becka and I are in an, how should I put it, insecure position, one that might have only two endings. Either it works out in our favor and we join you in America, or we wind up in a grave." Caleb explained.

"What is this all about? I need to know, and I'm sure we can come up with a solution. I can help, you know that, right?" Ziva spoke, but was quickly silenced by Becka.

"It is better if you don't know the details my friend. The only thing you have to know is that we are walking on very thin ground. Because you are Noah's godmother, and because I trust you with my life, I am putting Noah's in your capable hands. If anything should happen to Caleb and me, you have to take care of Noah for us. We will find a way to get him safely to you."

"Becka, this is ridiculous! I am sure we can find a way to get all of you safe to America. You need to tell me who poses a threat to your lives." Ziva argued.

"Promise me Ziva! Promise me you will take care of my son in case something happens to us." Becka pressed, grabbing Caleb's and Ziva's hand.

Once again, silence embraced the room, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Caleb's and Becka's eyes never left Ziva and she finally gave in.

"You have my word. But you know damn well that I would have cared for him even if you hadn't asked me. I love him as he would be my own son." Ziva replied

"Thank you Ziva. We are forever in your debt." Caleb smiled.

"It might be that we will show up at your door step in the middle of the night, or someone will come to you with Noah. I hope you remember where the safe house is; if anything should happen to us, it is yours to use." Becka went on.

"We also set up a trust fund for him; he should receive the money when he turns twenty-one, but there is enough money for the both of you. There is cash in the safe, but also the papers from the bank account in Zürich…." Caleb explained but Ziva's furious expression startled him.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked dumbly.

"I am happy that you have thought about his future and set up the account for him, but I do not need money Caleb. My financial situation is in a good state, and there is no need to pay me for taking care of him!" Ziva replied harshly, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"God Ziva, don't look at it like that. We know you can care for him and it is done with love, but we want to help…."

"Then do it by staying alive Becka." Ziva interrupted.

"As I was saying, this is our little boy we are talking about, and the fact that raising a child is expensive. He might wish to have a computer, or books in different languages, or even a piano. I do not want you to exhaust your finances for him." Becka explained, her eyes seeking understanding in Ziva's tense and angry features.

"I understand Becka, but I do not wish to speak about this anymore. I am sure I'll manage to get all three of you safe and sound in America." Ziva explained.

"Well, aren't you confident my dear. Then I believe your judgment." Caleb laughed.

"One more thing, Ziva." Becka began.

"Yes?"

"Never, and I mean never, let him join Mossad." Becka stated gravely and then changed the subject.

End Flashback≈

Remembering all the good times she spent with Becka and her family brought on another wave of pain. She softly laid her check on Noah's soft hair, while she silently mourned her best friend and her husband.