Chapter V: A New Christine

I did what Erik had told me to do, and gave Christine the key to the spare room. At first, she didn't seem to know what to do with it, wondering why I didn't want to keep it and use the room myself, but in the end, I managed to persuade her to give it a chance - she was much too talented a singer to just give up, and this might help her find some much needed peace to work on her own, away from other students or criticizing professors.

It was the beginning of October before I started noticing a change in Christine. This happened on one of the last warm days of summer, when all the students took every opportunity to go out into the courtyard during their breaks and take advantage of the unusually fine weather. I had just had a class with Mlle Popeau, and Little Jammes and I were chatting eagerly as we went outside. We were to work together on an assignment: building a "three-dimensional model of the perfect teacher". Going out into the sun, we joked about it.

"We could go to my place", suggested Little Jammes, "and bake a teacher-shaped bun! Then we could fill it with jam to symbolize knowledge!"

She chuckled.

"I think we should just make a life-size wax figure of M. Ivanovich", I replied, trying to look earnest. "Wouldn't that be something?"

"Or maybe", Little Jammes continued, "we could just bring a candle. It's the perfect symbol of a teacher - sheds a lot of light on things and gets burnt out quickly!"

I reflected for a moment. We might actually get away with that solution. However, before I could congratulate my friend on her idea, I saw something that stopped me dead in my tracks. Christine was standing in a corner of the courtyard, looking up at the sky. She was crying, her whole body shaking uncontrollably with sobs. I had never seen her like this before - she was usually a very reserved person who kept most of her emotions bottled up inside her. She was not one for making scenes in a public place. I went up to her quickly, followed by Little Jammes who was probably eager to find out what was going on. A few people were looking in Christine's direction, but nobody else approached her. She had not yet made any friends in school.

"Christine, are you all right?" I asked anxiously. Christine looked at me, trembling, with tears still running down her face. Now when I was close to her, I could see that her sobbing was mixed with laughter. She smiled at me and nodded.

"I'm fine", she said. "All this time... I was so afraid, I thought... But I was wrong, I needn't have worried... Everything will be fine now, of course... I'm just so glad..."

Christine burst into tears again. I couldn't make head or tail of her incoherent speech. She seemed to be experiencing some immense relief, like one who has just discovered that his greatest fear is unfounded. The darkness and the tension that had been present in her ever since her father's death had suddenly disappeared. I would have liked to ask her about the reason behind her sudden change in mood, but Little Jammes's presence prevented me.

From that day on, it was clear that Christine had turned over a new leaf. Her appetite returned, and sometimes I even heard her humming to herself in her room before breakfast. When I asked her about it, she was quite secretive and only said that she had become motivated to sing once again.

"In that case", I said, "maybe you could have some use of the key I gave you after all. Have you been down in the room yet?"

"I have, several times", Christine replied.

"Is it a good practice room?" I asked.

"It is very good for singing", she said with a smile. "I am so grateful to you for persuading me not to give up, you were absolutely right. And it was really nice of you to give me the key. I'm sure you would have liked a practice room of your own as well!"

"I thought you would need it more", I answered. "After all, I only study music education, so I don't really have to excel at anything specific. That room was meant for you."

Christine nodded thoughtfully. She looked as if she was about to say something, but decided against it. I didn't ask her any more questions.

The next time I went to Erik for my music theory lesson, I felt very light at heart. I didn't know exactly how, but his help and good advice had benefited Christine tremendously, and lifted a great weight off my shoulders in the process. Erik was quick to notice the fact.

"You are happy today, Meg Giry?" he remarked.

"Yes", I said. "I want to thank you for offering that room to Christine and telling me to urge her to continue singing. It has made all the difference in the world, more than I thought possible!"

"I am glad", Erik said, smiling. "You have done a good thing for your cousin, and for those who will be lucky enough to hear her sing in the future, I am sure."

"Maybe so", I said. "I am just glad that she seems to be feeling better. There was a time, you know, when my mother and I didn't know what she might do. We were constantly on guard."

"You do not need to watch over her anymore, Meg", Erik said soothingly. "Christine will be fine. She is not your responsibility."

It was the first time he had addressed me with my Christian name only. His voice sounded soft, familiar - the kind of voice you are willing to trust. There was also a lot of comfort in what he had said. Christine would be all right. She was not my responsibility. I didn't have to worry about her any longer.

From now on, I could occupy my mind with other things.