Fire Ants

It had been an unspoken agreement that they would leave each other alone because one of them would likely get hurt if they bothered each other. Arthur liked to think the person who would get hurt would be Francis. Because it was true. Francis never hurt him!

Not even when he ripped his heart out of his chest, tread on it, served it to his latest date and then returned the parts which tasted so-so.

So Arthur was plenty surprised when he opened the door to see Francis standing there.

"Arthur! It has been so–"

"What do you want."

There was no question mark because Arthur was not asking a question. He was sorely tempted just to shut the door in Francis' face, but was more tempted to wait for Francis to move forward so that he would actually hit Francis in the face when he shut it. The latter did entail a bit more talking with him however and Arthur was not certain whether it was worth it.

"To talk?" Francis ventured. "Just to make certain you are not planning to kill me in my sleep. Heaven knows I need another person trying that."

"It only just crossed my mind," Arthur said crossly. He turned away from him and returned to the table. Unfortunately he had not locked the door as he closed it because Francis came in after him.

"Look Arthur, as long as I am staying in town we might as well be civil." Francis hung his coat on the coat rack. Arthur was not certain whether to laugh or cry. And Alfred said no one ever used a coat rack. Goddammit.

"I'll be civil as long as you go away," Arthur said, straight face. It was the truth after all.

For a moment Francis looked like he would agree with that fact. Then he sat across from him at the table. "Matthieu and Alfred are getting along rather well..."

"Despite everything?" Arthur smirked, rubbing at his forehead. He should probably turn the heater on, he was freezing. "Matthew turned out well, despite the fact he was raised by you."

"And Alfred is an accomplished young man, despite the fact he was raised by you."

"Why the fuck did you show up Francis?" Arthur snapped at him. Francis tutted, an over exaggerated roll of his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

"I always found it unfair that you were allowed to insult me, but it was taboo for me to say anything about you. True or not."

"I always found it unfair you could sleep with anyone you wanted when you had me and those two boys waiting at home for you!" Arthur retorted, covering a cough. If looks could kill... well, Francis would have died at a young age. Though Arthur could always hope that the laws of physics would incorporate that ability.

"For the last time – I was not! Jeanne was simply a client!"

"A client with her underwear on the ground!"

Arthur was about to kill him when Maddox entered the room. Which was a good thing, he supposed, because he rather liked being on Vash's good side and his brothers would probably be horrid deputies with family in jail. After all, they would just think Arthur was trying to outdo them.

"I got rid of the fire ants," the Asian said. Arthur and Francis both stared at him, blowlamp in one hand, welding helmet muffling his voice.

"Fire ants?" Arthur spluttered.

"They came in on the coat which was on the coat rack," Maddox shrugged. Francis rose to his feet.

"My coat?"

"Oh, it was yours?" Of course, the way Maddox said it, he did not sound like he cared much. "The remnants are out on the lawn."

Francis rushed outside, which was when Arthur had to remember this was Maddox. For the life of him, however, he had no idea whether Maddox was joking or not. He turned his attention back onto the other, who pulled the helmet off of his head.

"Fire ants?" Arthur asked. Maddox nodded. "That... You went a bit overboard."

"I did not do anything but notice and eradicate them," Maddox said blankly. The strangest part was that he fidgeted a little and then spoke again. "Was he... really bothering you?"

Arthur covered another cough. "Oh, Francis? It's nothing, Maddox. Nothing at all."

Then he snickered.

Yes, it really was nothing when his younger son set Francis' coat on fire. Nothing at all.


Notes:

I think I just wrote something which was written in 'To The Point' by DF, but I cannot put my finger on it. Oh well, I do not think DF will kill me for it. Too much. At least, not until I have finished writing this. Which gives me time.