8 Days Ago…
F302
Low Earth Orbit
The earth floated below him, a sapphire-blue lifeboat in an endless sea of stars. Even now the inhabitants were going about their daily lives, unaware of the danger that lurked just beyond the distant horizon. Five years ago, he was one of those people, self-involved with his personal problems…problems that had seemed so insurmountable then, but now in light of what was awaiting the helpless population of Earth had proven mostly petty.
This is it John…Do or die time. Sheppard snorted. How many other so-called "suicide missions" had he undertaken in the past five years? As he'd told McKay at one point, he'd lost count.
Still…he remembered the first one. Flying a puddlejumper loaded with a fully armed nuclear warhead was the kind of memory that tended to stick to a guy. As he was on final approach with the Wraith Hive, he really had thought that was the end. After the Siege was over, he buried the memory as deeply as possible. What else could he have done to function in Pegasus?
Considering what he was about to do, the long-repressed memories of that moment rose unbidden to the surface. He admitted that at the time he had regretted not having sent his family a message with that first "We're still alive, but not for long" data burst they'd managed to send the SGC.
Mostly, he regretted not telling Nancy how much he still loved her.
Later, after the Daedalus came seemingly out of nowhere and beamed him onboard, he convinced himself that not contacting the family, and by extension Nancy, was best for everyone. Nancy was re-married and had moved on with her life—a life that no longer included him. There was nothing to be gained by getting a message to her.
As for his father and Dave…his dad had laid the ground rules for their relationship; there was little John could do to change his mind. Therefore, he made no effort to contact him or Dave when, shortly after the Siege, the Atlantis command staff briefly returned to Earth. Oh, his hand lingered over the phone a few times as he contemplated dialing their home number, but something always stopped him—the fear of further rejection.
In all fairness, he wasn't even sure if he was going to be allowed to return to Atlantis as her military commander, so his head wasn't in a good place at the time. Hell, he wasn't even sure he was going to be allowed back—period! There was even talk of a possible court martial over Colonel Sumner's death. And wouldn't that have nailed the lid on the coffin that was his relationship with his dad?
Yeah, John…add "accused murderer" and "disgraced" to being a "disappointment." Oh, yeah…that would have gone over well with the Old Man.
Surprisingly, Colonel Everett, a living testament to the results of a Wraith partial feeding, came to bat for him. Even the Brass's hardest cynics could see that a bullet through the heart was a mercy compared to the alternative. Besides, Colonel Sumner had already revealed the existence of Earth while under torture; it wasn't a big leap to see that he would have given away its location, too.
The Brass might have been incensed that a "loose cannon" like Sheppard had been the one to pull the trigger and taken out an officer of Sumner's caliber, but even they had to admit that given the set of circumstances Sheppard faced, he had made the right call.
So…no court martial; instead, they'd promoted him and even cited his actions during both the Genii invasion and his attempted suicide run…
Which brought him full circle, Sheppard thought wryly. Yet again, he was faced with impossible odds, and it was up to him to attempt one last "Hail Mary" to prevent the total destruction of everything he knew and loved. Checking his cockpit chronometer, he saw it was time.
"Base, this is Sheppard…Firing thrusters…I'm going in." Not waiting for acknowledgement, he began his approach…
oOo
8 Days Ago…
Tactical Operations Center
The Pentagon
"…I'm going in…"
Nancy sat frozen, her eyes glued to the large screen, mesmerized by the blue dot, representing John's F302, as it made its way toward the red dot, which marked the Wraith Super-Hive.
The abrupt sound of an explosion startled them. Moments later, John's calm drawl came over the radio once again.
"This is Sheppard. I'm in. Base…When Atlantis gets here, tell 'em I said goodbye."
"I-I will, John." Carter's voice showed her struggle to maintain her professionalism.
"And Sam…? Will you do me a favor? Will you please tell my brother Dave and…and my ex-wife Nancy how much I…well, that I was thinking of them before…you know…"
Nancy didn't hear Carter's response. She was too busy looking for a radio—anything to be able to talk to John before it was too late. She had to tell him how she felt!
The next thing she knew, the communications officer was putting a radio transceiver around her ear and giving her the go-ahead to talk. Nancy looked at him uncertainly and then at General O'Neill.
"Go on…Nancy, right?" O'Neill urged gently. "You don't have much time."
Nancy nodded gratefully and tapped the radio. "John…? John, it's me…Nancy." She was barely able to get the words out.
"Nancy? What are you doing on this channel? How did you—?"
"It's a long story, John…" She laughed and sobbed at the same time. "General O'Neill is letting me talk to you before…"
"Riiiight…" John's voice sounded suddenly tired. "Nance…look, I'm sorry, I—"
"No, John…please, no more apologies. We don't have much time, so I just wanted to say…John, I've never stopped loving you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to finally—"
"Hey…I thought you said no more apologies," John said affectionately.
Nancy choked on a laugh.
"Nance…you do know that practically the whole galaxy is listening in, right?"
"I don't care…"
"In that case…what the hell. Let 'em listen. Like I told you already…you're still my Best Girl, Nance."
By now Nancy was crying uncontrollably. "I know, John…I know…"
"Good…that's good. Nancy…I've got a job to do. I hope you can understand."
"I do, John…I do understand…finally."
She heard his warm chuckle over the radio. "That's my girl." The next instant John's voice became coolly professional once more. "Base, I'm arming the nuke—"
Abruptly, the room was filled with excited radio chatter. Nancy couldn't follow most of it, until John's voice broke through.
"McKay—? What the hell—?"
Within minutes the atmosphere inside the TOC went from stoic fatalism to hopeful when it became obvious that John's Atlantis team was somehow on the Hive as well.
Nancy heard McKay reply that he could rig a remote detonator with a timer so that they at least had a chance to escape from the Hive before it blew in the ensuing nuclear blast. The excitement in the TOC was almost palpable. It looked like they just might pull this off.
The very next moment, Carter dashed all their hopes. "Sheppard, you're out of time…the Hive is getting ready to start culling. I'm sorry."
"This is Sheppard…Understood." John acknowledged tersely.
Nancy covered her face. This was too much. To have come so close only to have it yanked out from under them.
Suddenly, the others in the TOC leaped to their feet in excitement and began shouting. "Look! Another ship!" Nancy turned to the giant screen. Another blue dot had appeared out of nowhere.
"I don't understand—" she whispered.
"What is it, Hank?" Ames demanded. "Another Wraith?"
"No, it's—" Landry began, but was interrupted.
"Sheppard! It's Atlantis!" Carter's voice broke triumphantly over the comms.
At her words everyone in the TOC broke out in cheers. Instantly, they were back slapping and high-fiving one another. There were hugs all around, and to Nancy's amusement, two huge airmen hugged on impulse, only to suddenly break apart in embarrassment.
Nancy smiled, wiping at the sudden tears of happiness that had sprung forth. She hugged O'Neill on the spur of the moment, and grinned to herself when he reacted the same way John did when caught off guard. He tensed in surprise, not knowing where to put his hands.
At this point everything began to happen so fast she had trouble keeping up…
The radio chatter picked up rapidly, making it hard to follow. It appeared that Atlantis was able to distract the Super-Hive long enough to allow John and his team the time they needed to set the remote detonator. Within moments, the red dot marking the Wraith Super-Hive winked out.
The radio chatter continued to transmit something about Atlantis' re-entry, but Nancy had stopped listening. She collapsed in her chair and soon began shaking, unable to stop. The room started to fade around her, the shadows encroaching despite her best efforts to keep them at bay.
At last, too exhausted by an afternoon of terror and uncertainty, Nancy succumbed to the darkness. Her last thoughts were of John: He was all right, and he loved her.
oOo
