Title: Creepy
Author: drcjsnider
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 528
A/N(optional): Sometimes what's scary at Halloween isn't the ghosts and goblins.
Fred Weasley liked to proclaim loudly and repeatedly that there were numerous advantages to dating a Muggle-born. First, you got easy access to the telly and to films chock full of mindless violence and explosions. Second, it was simple to trick even smart Muggle-borns into embracing fictional wizarding customs like 'wear your robes backwards day.' And third, Muggle-borns were great at teaching wizards about non-magical holiday traditions – such as wearing costumes that portrayed famous figures on Halloween.
This last advantage had helped Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes make October 2002 the most successful month since their opening. Who would have guessed that England's witches and wizards would spend hundreds of Galleons on products like 'Temporary Harry Potter Scars,' 'Bushy Brunette Hair Glamours,' and 'Weasley Freckle Lotion,' all in anticipation of dressing up for the holiday.
In fact, Fred was so thrilled with advantages accorded him by his Muggle-born girlfriend, that he planned on whisking her upstairs as soon as the shop closed, stripping her naked, and then presenting her with an engagement ring that would bind her to him for life – without causing her nose to grow or turning her fingers orange (he'd save that for the wedding band). As the day wore on, however, Fred's nerves started to get the better of him and he worried that Hermione would never permanently settle for someone as immature as him.
Therefore, when he caught sight of the back of Hermione's head slipping through the door to the Wheezes' stockroom about twenty minutes before he and George normally locked up, Fred decided to put himself out of his misery and immediately ask for her hand in marriage. Unfortunately, upon entering the stockroom, Fred felt like choking on his own bile as he witnessed his girlfriend snogging his younger brother. Catching Ron's eye over Hermione's shoulder, Fred wanted to smash in the newly minted Auror's face, especially after Ron winked at him and mouthed, 'Go Away.'
Backing out of the door, his hands clenched in rage and his stomach churning with fear that he'd lost her forever, Fred just about jumped out of his skin when someone wrapped their arms around his waist.
Hermione laughed. "A bit twitchy tonight, aren't you? Surely the great Fred Weasley isn't worried about ghosts and goblins?"
Fred froze. If Hermione was behind him, just who the hell was with Ron?
Hermione looked around him into the stockroom and made a retching sound. "I wish you would cast some sort of spell on Ron so that he couldn't kiss anyone wearing those 'Bushy Hair Glamours.' It totally creeps me out."
Fred nodded before turning around and folding his arms around Hermione. "I'm never selling that product again. I don't care how much money it brings in, it isn't worth the aggravation."
Hermione smiled up at him. "Maybe you should just get rid of me – that way you could avoid the aggravation and still make money."
"No can do. You are essential to my well-being," Fred told her with a shake of his head and a lop-sided grin. "However, I do wish someone had warned me about the disadvantages of dating a Muggle-born before I fell in love with you."
