I'm sorry about the interruption. I truly thank you all for the kind words, faves, reviews and alerts. Onward now.
Chapter 17
Ichigo sighed, his head lying against the soft pillow. His skin was slick with sweat and he could hear the whirling of the ceiling fan, trying to cool his flesh. He could feel Grimmjow's large body behind him and the large arms wrapping around his body. He enjoyed this so much and he was sad that he would be away from it for another three months. The thought of having to sleep alone did nothing to help his mood and he wished that he could just keep Grimmjow locked away. It had been a couple of days since the summer festival and the blunet was soon to leave, his vacation finally over. Ichigo didn't know how he should feel. He wanted to be happy for the blue haired man, but the more he thought about the lonely nights and only being able to hear his voice, the more he wanted Grimmjow to stay.
He had thought about going with the man, but he knew he couldn't leave his sisters, at least not before speaking to them about it. They didn't live with him, but he was really the only family they had other than their uncle. Kisuke was a great guardian and he had done a lot for them, but he knew it just wasn't the same. He knew Karin and Yuzu would worry about him. He would be the same way, but he knew he couldn't stay home all the time. There was a life out there for him and he needed to live it. It would only be a twelve-hour flight back to Japan whenever he wanted to come home and he knew that it wasn't as if he wouldn't see them ever again.
He turned over in the brawny arms and leaned closer to the larger male. He could feel the deep breathing ghost over his unseeing eyes and he smiled softly. Reaching his hand out, he let his fingers run over the bare skin. He slid them up the man's neck, feeling the jaw line before his palm settled on the man's cheek. He listened to the man groan and he felt the face push closer into his hand.
"Ichi?" a letharic voice called.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Ichigo slowly started to pull his hand away, but it was caught by Grimmjow's and placed back onto the cheek. He felt himself being pulled closer until his face was buried in the blunet's neck.
"You should be sleeping. I know it's gotta be late." Ichigo frowned and lowered his hand, wrapping his arms around Grimmjow's neck. He didn't want to leave from that spot. He didn't want to deal with this all by himself. He knew he was strong, but for once he just waned to be babied, not by his friends, but by Grimmjow. He wanted to be spoiled even though it was contradicting his pervious statements. He just didn't care anymore.
"I don't want you to leave. I don't. I don't."
"Ichigo…" The oranget felt the man slide up against the headboard and he felt himself being pulled into the man's large arms.
"I'm sorry, but I want to be selfish. I don't want you to go back, Grimmjow. I-I thought I could do this alone, but I can't. I can't say goodbye to you again."
"You know I can't stay, Ichi. You and I both know that, no matter how much I want to." The oranget frowned and buried his face in the man's neck.
"It's not fair," his muffled voice said. "I know I can go out there with you, but I'm just not ready to make such a big step."
"Do you expect me to take a step back from where I am now? Come on, Ichigo. Be reasonable." The oranget flinched at the tone in Grimmjow's voice, but he knew the blunet had a reason to be upset. "I'm already doing a lot by flying here every three months. I can't put off my whole career because you don't want to be alone."
"S-sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"Naw, it's okay. I understand how you feel, but just…you gotta be able to do this on your own. I won't be around all the time and you should treat this as if we never even met." Ichigo frowned and pushed closer to the man, gazing out at nothing. He didn't even like thinking about where he would be if Grimmjow hadn't been around. "You said it yourself that you want to be independent again, and you can't do that with me holding your hand. I've done all I can, it's your turn now."
Ichigo sighed, before listening to the quietness surround them. "…Yo-you're right, Grimmjow. I do need to do this on my own. I know I can, it's just hard, but that really never stopped me before. I just need to get my mindset back to how it used to be." Ichigo felt his chin being raised, before lips pressed against his.
"That's the spirit. Now, I'm exhausted, I'm going back to sleep. And I think you should be doing the same thing. I only have a few days left here so I want to get as much rest as I can." Ichigo nodded and he slid back deeper into the covers, feeling arms wrap around him and a face bury itself in his hair.
He needed to stop being a brat about everything and get back to the way things used to be. He never worried about such things and though he cared about Grimmjow, he knew he was being a little whinier than normal. He needed to retrieve his self-confidence; get his backbone and he needed to become the Kurosaki Ichigo he used to be.
Luppi growled as he ripped a photo of him and Grimmjow into tiny pieces. He reached for the next picture in the small purple box and tore it as well. He didn't care anymore. He didn't give a damn if Grimmjow took him back or not. He refused to distress over it any longer. If the blunet didn't want him then so be it. He was too good for him anyway. He had been so dedicated to the man, that he never realized that he could do so much better than that hoodlum who hid behind his piano. He realized that Grimmjow didn't deserve him and that he should just move on with his life. Did that mean he would stop his plans of getting rid of the orange haired nuisance? No. That night at the festival, he had been humiliated in front of so many people. The man he had loved the most, just took the side of that freak and did nothing to stop what happened. He refused to be treated like some fool. He refused to take that that sitting down any longer and had come up with his own plan to get rid of the blind man.
Loly wasn't doing her job anyway and he was tired of waiting for her to think of something to get rid of the orange haired man. He had thought she was his friend and thought that she would help him, but he had been so wrong. He couldn't stand around, hoping that she would do her part and he needed to take matters into his own hands. The plan he had come up with was so simple and he was surprised that he hadn't thought of it earlier.
He looked down at the square box of photos. He really couldn't believe it was over between him and Grimmjow. Three years had been such a long time and he felt like he should be able to get something back for every single one of them. He wanted Grimmjow to tell him that their relationship had actually meant something to him, but he knew that the blunet would never say such things. He wondered how he could be so blind, so stupid and he felt like he had been used for his feelings.
He reached inside the box, pulling out a photo from high school. Lavender eyes gazed at them in their high school uniforms and he realized just how much he had done for the blue haired man. Even before they started dating he had been there for Grimmjow. Throughout every fight, he had been there. He had been by his side every step of the way, no matter what it was. And to be thrown to the side like some cheep floozy wasn't something he enjoyed.
Though his thoughts of what to do with the blind man were because he had been attacked, it was riddled with revenge. He wanted Grimmjow to suffer just as he had been suffering since the blunet left. He wanted Grimmjow to realize how much it hurt to have something precious taken away from him. He wanted to make the man see that he was not one to be played with and that if Grimmjow was going to leave him alone, then he would leave the blunet all alone as well.
Ichigo sighed, wiggling his toes in the grainy sand. He could feel the tidewater rolling over his them and he could feel the coldness of the liquid. It soothed the warmth radiating in his body as he felt the burning sun rays on his skin. This seemed to become he and Grimmjow's place of solitude. It was a spot that they could get away from everyone and anything else. It was early morning, so it was deserted and quiet.
Ichigo could feel Grimmjow's legs brushing across his own and he sighed at the relief it gave him. It was going to be hard, but he knew he would have to do this alone. He needed to depend on himself more than he needed to depend on the blue haired man.
"Ichi." He hummed when he heard Grimmjow call to him. "I'm going to be gone tomorrow so I want to talk about something." Ichigo looked over his shoulder before turning completely around, his face towards the others. His brows creased as he waited for the man to speak again. "No scowling." Fingers ran across his brow and they smoothed out under the touch.
"What's up?"
"I want to talk to you about surgery." Ichigo frowned, not wanting to have this conversation.
"I've told you already, Grimmjow. I don't want your help for that."
"I know, but just hear me out." Ichigo sighed, but nodded. "You've been struggling a lot and I think if you just get the surgery, then you won't feel so down anymore. Your vision was a major part of your life and now that it's gone you feel like it just isn't the same. I understand you have been trying and I can see that, but are you really happy about how you are living right now?"
"…No," Ichigo mumbled.
"Then…just let me help you. I have the money for it. You can pay me back or not, it really doesn't matter to me, but I want you to be as happy as you can be. You aren't if you keep living your life like this. I know loads of people go through their lives without seeing, hearing, even not being able to walk, but if it doesn't make you happy and you can do something about it, then why live this miserable life?"
The oranget frowned, knowing that Grimmjow was right, but he couldn't find it in himself to agree. That was basically being in debted to Grimmjow for the rest of his life and though the man seemed to genuinely want to help him, he couldn't think passed the fact that his life would be in Grimmjow's hands.
"Ichigo…I know it's hard for you to ask for help or accept when help is being offered, but I'm doing this because I care about you. I'm not going to pressure you to choose, but just think about it, okay? Maybe when I come back in three months, you'll have your answer."
Ichigo nodded. He really did want his eyes sight back. He wanted to be able to see the sky and sea again. He wanted to be able to watch Yuzu and Karin grow up. To be able to see what he had missed for almost a year made him giddy with joy. But what he really wanted most was to be able to see Grimmjow. He wanted to be able to enjoy gazing into his eyes, which he still didn't know the color of. He wanted to see the man smile, the way his face changed when he was feeling at his highest point. Ichigo wanted to see what he had been touching since they had started dating.
He looked down, a smile sliding across his face. It would be nice to see Grimmjow with his own eyes. He had never cared about what the man looked like when they first met, and he still didn't, but it would be nice to know. It would be exciting to be able to look into the man's eyes when they became intimate and the thought made him want to accept Grimmjow's gesture.
"I'll think about it."
Today was the day and Ichigo didn't know how to feel. He sat on the couch, listening to Grimmjow go through his belongings, making sure he had everything. One month was just never enough when it came to the blunet. He knew it would come around again, but the thought of being away for so long made him upset.
" Alright, I think I got everything." Grimmjow gazed over to see Ichigo looked in his direction. He rose from his kneeling position, dusting off his jeans. "…Did you want to come to the airport with me? I mean…Renji isn't here to take me, so you'll have to take a cab back, but well…"
"Uh, yeah." Ichigo wanted to beam with joy, but he thought twice and kept it inside. If he could spend more time with Grimmjow, then that was all that mattered. After gathering everything and calling a cab, Ichigo and Grimmjow were on their way to the airport. They sat silently in the back of the vehicle, Grimmjow gazing out of the window. He wondered what was going on with the vibe, but he guessed it was Ichigo still upset about him leaving. He could understand. He didn't want to leave either, but this was life and sometimes you had to do what you didn't want to.
It wasn't that he didn't want to go back, but he just didn't want to go back without Ichigo. He didn't want Ichigo constantly on his mind until the point where he started to frustrate over things. He enjoyed hearing his voice, but he enjoyed being near the man more. He enjoyed feeling the warm skin under his fingertips. He sighed and continued to gaze out. Soft and long fingers slowly slide across his knuckled, letting them calmly dip between each one. The fingers casually slid across his before they went between them and curled under until Ichigo's hand was gripping his. That was all they needed. No words had to be said and Grimmjow enjoyed just feeling the oranget next to him.
They pulled up to Karakura Airport and Grimmjow handed the driver enough money for the trip up as well as the trip back for Ichigo. Stepping out and pulling his suitcase out of the trunk, he made his way to the curb. He watched Ichigo slowly step out, his hand gripping the door of the cab. Ichigo softly smiled and Grimmjow did the same as he made his way closer.
"I'll call you when I get there." Ichigo just nodded, his hand gripping the door tighter. "Remember what I told you and don't forget to think about that other thing." Ichigo nodded again, still not wanting to say anything. The blunet leaned in and pressed his lips against the oranget's, not caring about who was around. He was long over being seen, not ashamed of what he was or what he liked.
Ichigo sighed, feeling Grimmjow's lips pressed against his. He leaned in and he felt the man's hand grip his hip under his shirt. A tongue entered his mouth and he sucked on it, not ever wanting to disconnect from the blunet. He felt Grimmjow slow pull away and he leaned in more, hoping the man would just continue to kiss him.
"Ichi…I gotta go," he felt Grimmjow say against his lips. Blinking, he licked his lips before nodding.
"Ha-have a safe trip." Grimmjow nodded and Ichigo stood there until he couldn't feel the man's body heat close to him any longer. Slipping back into the cab, he leaned back and sighed, feeling the car start to move. That had been harder than the first time Grimmjow left, but he felt that he handled it so much better.
Grimmjow stretched and leaned against his banister, gazing out. The afternoon breeze was nice against his bare upper body and he sighed. He was relaxing before he had to play the symphony concert for the night. It had only been a couple of weeks since he got back to San Francisco, but he wasn't feeling as happy about it as he should. He had come back to his new home to bury himself in his amazing career, but he felt like something was missing this time around. He felt like he shouldn't be there. He groaned and ran his hand through his hair.
Ichigo's words were starting to get to him. He tried to ignore the alone feeling he was having. He was trying to remember that he was there for himself and for Ichigo, but it just didn't feel the same without the man there with him. He really had become addicted to Ichigo in a way that wasn't healthy for neither of them. That made the three months away both unbearable and greatly needed. He was glad that he would be away. He needed to evaluate the way he thought about their relationship and how they were so dependent on each other.
Grimmjow hoped that Ichigo would give him a positive answer when he went back in three months and he hoped that the surgery would both benefit Ichigo's life as well as their relationship. Ichigo's independence wasn't just for himself, but for them both and he knew if the man could get back to how he was before his accident, they would do just fine. He wasn't sure how Ichigo was before, but he knew it had to be better than the depression Ichigo was silently going through.
Ichigo laughed, listening to Inoue talk about her trip to Tokyo DisneySea with Ulquiorra. The thought of her dragging the green-eyed, obsidian haired man with her was more than he could bare and though Orihime said it had been romantic, there had been some scenes that she explained that were just over the top. Ichigo just couldn't see Ulquiorra at that kind of place and the thought of it was both hilarious and somewhat relieving. Inoue had really found someone who was willing to enjoy her enthusiasm and good nature. The man had become everything to Orihime and he could see that she was overjoyed with so many amazing emotions.
"Do I hear wedding bells in the future, Inoue?" Orihime blushed at the thought of her and Ulquiorra walking down the aisle of a church. The floors would be lined with baby's breath with blue and green floras to match them. She could see herself in a long white gown with all sorts of ruffles and lace. Ulquiorra would be in a white suit and a green silk tie to match his large chartreuse eyes. "Earth to Inoue," Ichigo sing-sang. She could feel her blush deepening and she cleared her throat.
"O-of course not, Ichigo! It's way too early for that! Th-that's silly!" Ichigo chuckled, shaking his head at her reaction. "You and Grimmjow would get married before we did, anyway."
"What!" Inoue smiled and watched the blush rise across Ichigo's face. "I don't think that's going to happen, Inoue."
"You love him though, right? That's obviously the next step." Ichigo frowned. In a normal situation that would be the normal flow of things. Get together, date, fall in love and get married, but he didn't think it was that easy for him and Grimmjow. Not to mention that they were both men. They had yet to say that they loved each other. Ichigo didn't know if Grimmjow was there yet. Being together for six months was a long time, but they still had a long way to go.
"I don't think it's that easy for us, Inoue."
"Rukia told me that same-sex marriage is legal in some places in America."
"…Yeah, Grimmjow told me about that too. It's not where he lives though. It's fine, anyway. Marriage is a big step for anyone and if we even came to that decision I think we would rather just be together without the label." Orihime smiled, gazing at Ichigo. Even when he was so confused about his feelings she thought Ichigo was strong about it. He knew what he wanted and Inoue wished she could be that decisive.
"I agree! No one wants to be labeled!" she exclaimed, her fists pumping in the air. Ichigo snorted at her high spirit. "Now, how about some Kakigōri?"
"…Yeah, that sounds good." Ichigo felt Inoue grab his hand and he felt himself being pulled down the sidewalk by his overly excited friend. He listened to her giggle and he couldn't help but smile wide at her.
Inoue made her way to the sidewalk and stood at the curb, her hand pulling away from Ichigo's. They stood there waiting for the light to change and when it did, he heard Inoue rushing him. He could feel himself being left behind by the numerous people, but Inoue was walking a few feet in front of him. He sighed, scratching the back of his head and the thought of getting some shaved ice made him relax. It had been a couple of weeks since Grimmjow had been gone and he could feel himself worrying about things more and more. The conversation that they had had was still on his mind and he still didn't know what to choose.
Should he just go ahead and let Grimmjow pay for his eye surgery? Or should he just keep waiting and waiting until he had saved up enough money for it? He knew the longer he waited the more depressed he would get, but doing it on his own meant that he was being independent and that's what he was striving for.
Inoue smiled as she skipped ahead of Ichigo. She always enjoyed her time with the orange haired man. They had gotten so close since she confessed her feelings to him and she wished that she had done it long time ago. "So what flavor are you getting, Ichigo?" she asked as she turned around. Her body went rigid, her head turned halfway over her shoulder. She watched the silver sedan speed down the wide street and her slate gray eyes went wide. "Ichigo!" she screamed, her body turning fully towards him and everything seemed to be going in slow motion to her. She felt herself moving, running towards him, her voice at the top of her lungs. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she knew that she had to get him out the way of the car.
She watched the vehicle come closer and closer before it collided with Ichigo head on, as if not even seeing him. Her large gray eyes gazed as he went up and over the car, his head hitting the top and his body looking as if it was some kind of rag doll. She had to look away and she caught sight of the driver behind the wheel before it sped off, leaving Ichigo lying on the paved road.
Ignoring the driver, she quickly made her way over, dropping to her knees and screaming his name. She could feel the tears streaming down her face as she called and called for him, but he made no move and he didn't speak a sound.
"Ichigo!" She looked on, hoping he could hear her. "Someone call an ambulance!" she screamed. She slowly reached for him, softly pressing her hand against his bloody and dirty cheek. "...Ichigo."
*crawls under the blankets and waits for the wrath of the readers.
