Title: Even Trade
Pairing: Fred/Hermione
Rating: PG-13
Words: 196
A/N: Written for abigail89 in celebration of the Phelps twins' birthday. The prompt was "It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage." -- Raiders of the Lost Ark. Set in the freds_not_dead universe.

"Merlin, Parkinson, how many times do I have to tell you that I won't go out with you?"

"Why not?! What's wrong with me? I've got a great body, a fabulous personality, and loads of money. How can you keep turning down my invitations to dinner?"

Fred dropped his head into his hands. He seriously couldn't believe how hard it was to get rid of her. Apparently, Pansy Parkinson wasn't accustomed to taking 'no' for an answer. "Look, I like someone else. Besides you are a bit too worn for me."

"Who do you like?" she asked him suspiciously, obviously thinking he was lying just to get clear of her.

Fred groaned. He didn't want to answer, but he really wanted her to go away. "Hermione, alright? I like Hermione."

"Granger?!" Pansy squawked. "How can you like Granger? She is just as worn as me!"

Fred swallowed a laugh, but couldn't keep the grin off his face. "It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage."

Although his cheek smarted for almost an hour after Parkinson Apparated away, Fred decided that finally getting rid of her was worth the temporary pain of her slap to his face.