Frustration on life kept this in my folder for a week, but you guys can have it now.

Chapter 19

Grimmjow didn't have the urge to leave Ichigo alone again. It had already been a couple of days since he arrived in Japan and saw Ichigo in his battered and unconscious state. He had received numerous calls from Hanataro and Byakuya wondering where he was. It was unprofessional to up and leave without word, but it had been an emergency and he made sure to let Byakuya know. The man was upset, but of course he understood and there would be replacement until he was able to get back to America. Now that this happened, he didn't know if he wanted to go back. Ichigo lying there, pale and unresponsive made him want to drop his entire life and come back to Japan.

Ichigo would probably strangle him if he heard such talk, but right now all that cared was making sure the oranget was safe. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes never leaving the closed eyelids on Ichigo's face. The doctor had come in to check on the oranget and Grimmjow had asked questions about the man's injuries. Most of them really weren't as bad as they looked and the doctor said from the scans that there didn't seem to be any signs of brain damage. Ichigo did have a concussion and that he didn't know how long the coma would last. It all mattered on how strong Ichigo's body and mind were.

Grimmjow asked about doing eye surgery while Ichigo was out of it and the doctor thought it wouldn't be right without consent from Ichigo. Also that it might be a shock to him and could make his condition worsen. Grimmjow figured that, but he wanted to be sure. He knew he could never do anything without asking the oranget first, but it was still an option.

Pushing himself up from the chair, he made his way towards the door and out of the room. Stepping out into the hall, he leaned against the white wall, his head thrown back. He was tired and overly stressed out. The nurses had asked if he would like to eat while he had been there, but he couldn't stomach anything. His body was churning with nausea and worry, weary from what was going on.

He thought about what he had said to Renji about seeking revenge against Luppi and it never strayed from his mind. The man would pay for what he did, but Grimmjow felt Ichigo came first. Luppi wasn't going anywhere and he could deal with the man at a later time. He had to ready himself for such a thing, knowing there would be consequences for his actions. This time he would have to think logically instead of running into it head first. If he killed Luppi, he would never see Ichigo again, no matter how much of it was the petite man's fault. The police were already looking for the dark haired man so he had law on his side, but the moment he spilled too much blood that would change.

"You're still here?" Grimmjow looked over when he heard Renji's voice. The man looked haggard, his fiery red hair down instead of pulled up in the usual spiky ponytail. The man looked as if he had just rolled out of the bed. He could see the tired lines and the dark circles under the dull russet eyes and knew this man was feeling almost as bad as he was.

"Uh, yeah. I was about to leave though. Gotta go take care of something." Grimmjow pushed from the wall and walked pass the red head, only to stop when a hand grabbed the sleeve of his sweater. He looked over his shoulder, locking eyes with Renji and he could see the conflicting emotions in the orbs.

"You're going to see your ex-boyfriend?" The blunet stared for a minute before nodding. "I'm going with you, then." The hand dropped from the sleeve and Grimmjow frowned.

"I don't think that's-"

"You're not telling me otherwise. I'm going with you. You need someone that will have your back and I care about Ichigo just as much as you do. Don't fuckin' deny me this, Grimmjow. You've already taken Ichigo from me; at least let me help you with this." He gazed into the determined eyes and sighed.

"Well, you better go see Ichigo, then. There's no guarantee that you are going to be able to see him after this. Nothing might not happen, but it's best to be safe then sorry. I'll be waiting for you outside." Renji nodded and Grimmjow watched the red head make his way to Ichigo's room, slipping inside. He guessed it would be a good idea to have Renji with him. He would have a way to get there without a problem and if he needed a witness, Renji would be the perfect person.

He started walking towards the exit of the hospital. He just hoped everything went smoothly.


Renji leaned against the door, gazing at the bed where Ichigo laid. This had become so emotionally draining and he didn't even know what to do with himself lately. Scrubbing his hands up and down his face, he slowly made his way over to the bed and sat down in the chair. He let his eyes slowly roam over the body of the man who had become his best friend so many years ago. He and Ichigo had always been inseparable, never letting any one ever get between them. Renji had thought it would always be that way, never thinking Ichigo would start to drift away from him.

He leaned his elbows against the soft sheets, burying his face in his palms. He couldn't believe he was thinking about such things at a time like that, but he had been thinking about it a lot. Grimmjow's words were rolling around in his mind and he realized that he was in the same predicament as Orihime. He had been so afraid of telling the man his feelings and now he had missed the chance to do so. He had missed a chance to be something more in Ichigo's life.

He could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks and chuckled at the act. When was the last time he had cried? He really couldn't remember. He didn't know why he was really shedding tears. It was probably because he would never be with Ichigo. ...No, that couldn't possibly be the reason why. Was it because he had been such a coward? Probably so, but he had thought logically about the situation. Pulling his face away from his hands, he gazed down at the expressionless look on Ichigo's face. Maybe he was worried that Ichigo would never wake. He shook his head. He was being an idiot. Ichigo was much stronger than this and he knew he wouldn't let this get him down.

He sighed, wiping the tears from his eyes before running a hand through his hair. "Ichigo…" The rest of the words died in his throat and he chuckled at his inability to even confess when the man couldn't even hear him. He leaned in the chair, throwing his head back and groaning in frustration. "I don't understand why I can't just tell you. It's so much harder now than it was in high school, even though I know for sure that I'll be rejected." Rolling his head to the side, he gazed at the man's lips. The soft lips he had wanted to kiss since they were teenagers.

"Ichi, it's hard for me to say this, so I'm just going to let it out. I know you can't hear me, so I don't really expect an answer, but I think if I tell you, I can move on. Ever since high school… ever since high school, I've had a crush on you. I'm not sure how it came about, but I had to deal with my feelings for such a long fuckin' time. Even after finding out Hime's feelings for you, I became jealous, knowing that you would likely date her instead of me." He sighed, looking away from the man's face. "...I guess that's why I give Grimmjow so much shit, because he took, what I thought, should have been mine. I know I'm such a hypocritical person, saying all that shit before and I'm sorry for it."

He sighed, trying to will himself to continue. "But know that I still care about you, Ichigo. You will always be my best friend and if I can't have you any other way than being my friend is fine. I don't know if my feelings will change, but I will give you and Grimmjow your space. Just know that if he ever hurts you again, I won't forgive him. He's off the hook this time, but there won't be a second time."

He pushed himself up from the chair, staring down at Ichigo one last time, hoping for some kind of recognition. Realizing that it wouldn't come, he made his way towards the door, stopping for just a moment. "We're here for you, Ichigo, through it all, no matter what. Fight through this as you do everything else and come out the victor." Opening the door, he slipped out, not seeing the subtle twitch that Ichigo's hand made.


The inside of the car was tense as Grimmjow and Renji made their way to Luppi's apartment. Grimmjow knew the man probably wouldn't be there, but he'd rather check there first before having to deal with the petite man's mother. Luppi's mom was insufferable and even though he had spent time with her before, he didn't know how to deal with her. Not to mention, she was some kind of cougar. It was as if her own husband, that she claimed to love, wasn't enough for her. There had been problems with her trying to jump his bones numerous times and he didn't know if he wanted to deal with her at this moment in time.

"So tell me, Grimmjow. Why the hell is your ex-boyfriend so fucked up?" Grimmjow snorted, his eyes gazing out of the car window.

"My guess is as good as yours. He's always been a little on the crazy side. Luppi was a little more normal in high school, but when we got together it seemed his little mind became more deranged."

"So it was your fault." Grimmjow chuckled, thinking that it probably was his fault that Luppi had become some kind of psycho.

"I guess you can say it's my fault. He's only like this when I'm involved in some way."

"Uh…how did you know that you were into guys? I mean, were you always into guys?" Grimmjow's brow arched and he glanced Renji's way. He wondered what all the questions were about. Renji hated his guts and the mini interrogation was a little confusing. Grimmjow sighed, thinking that maybe it was Renji's way of trying to become friendly and it was only right to act the same way.

"I was into girls at first, but they usually didn't do much for me. Luppi was my first and only boyfriend. It's kind of hard to really see the difference since Luppi acts like a woman, but I knew that I liked guys the moment I gazed at a man's ass and my dick got hard." Grimmjow smirked when he saw the blush across Renji's face. "What about you? I'm assuming you like dudes, since you like Ichigo."

"…I think…I just like Ichigo. I'm not really…sure. I mean there are some guys that I think are hot, but they don't make me feel like Ichigo does."

"You're feelings for Ichigo are a little different than they would be for some random guy." Renji frowned, knowing that that was true. He didn't know if he really liked guys though. He had yet to see a man that made him feel that way. He glanced Grimmjow's way, assessing the man's profile. Grimmjow was handsome, but he really despised the man in some ways. "I think I know someone that you might like, but I'm not sure if it would work out. He's in America."

"I-is he American?"

"He's Japanese. His name is Kuchiki Byakuya." Renji's eyes widened and the car swerved a bit before he could get it back into the lane. "Holy shit, Renji! Chill the hell out! If you don't want me to set you up, just say so. Sheesh, tryna kill us both."

"S-sorry. D-did you say Kuchiki Byakuya?"

"Yeah…why?"

"T-that's Rukia's older brother."

"Rukia…" Grimmjow frowned, trying to remember who that was. He was getting just as bad as Ichigo with names. "…You mean the evil gnome girl?" Renji chuckled loudly at the nickname and Grimmjow smirked.

"Yeah, her. How the hell do you know Byakuya, anyway?"

"He's the director at the symphony where I work." Grimmjow looked up when he noticed they had finally made it to Luppi's apartment. The car stopped and the blunet sighed, trying to ready himself for whatever happened. "I guess we can talk about this later though." Renji just nodded and watched Grimmjow slip out of the vehicle. He did as well and leaned against the car door. "I'll be back in a minute…hopefully."

He quickly made his way up the stone stairs and into the apartment building. Walking down the long hallway, he tried to ignore everything else around him and focus on the matter at hand. Luppi. Luppi was the thing fueling his anger. Luppi was the one that fucked up so much in his life and the one time he had happiness, Luppi was the one that wanted to take it away. He wouldn't let the man do whatever he wanted anymore. He wouldn't get away with it any longer and it was time for Luppi to get what he deserved.

He made it to the door and started banging his fist against it, not caring if it bothered the neighbors. After a while there wasn't an answer and he sighed, leaning his head against the door. He knew Luppi wouldn't be there, but he still was a little relieved that he wouldn't have to do this now. He still wasn't ready even if he knew he wanted to kill the petite man. It would be different if he had blind fury, but he had long enough to think rationally and that was what was screwing him over.


"Holy shit! When you said rich you were serious." Luppi's family was indeed wealthy, coming from old money. Grimmjow guessed that was why the petite man was so damn spoiled. "Are we even in fuckin' Japan anymore? This place is insane." They pulled up to the large iron gate and Renji stared at the guard that was standing next to it, his almost concealed weapon peeking out from under his jacket. He felt Grimmjow lean over him and his body went rigid when he caught the piquant and spicy aroma of the blunet. How could someone smell so good even after staying at the hospital for so long with only one change of clothing? Renji tried to clear his mind and think at the matter at hand, but Grimmjow was making it hard to even think straight.

He listened to the blunet speak to the guard before the gates were open and he was able to drive through, glad that Grimmjow had finally pulled away. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he could see how tense Grimmjow was. The man seemed to be having trouble figuring out what he was going to do and Renji could understand the second-guessing. The blunet had to weigh all his options and consequences for what he was about to do. He could tell Grimmjow didn't want to screw up his chances of being with Ichigo and that meant he would have to take it easy on Luppi.

"…Renji…I don't know what's about to happen, but I need to know that you have my back on this. You are going to have to listen to me if you want us both to come out of here without being in handcuffs."

"Yeah, okay." The red head pulled up to the front of the house, parking the car. Looking around, he noticed it was deserted, other than a beat up silver sedan hidden in the shadows.

"Call the cops and tell them that you found Luppi. I'm sure the police were here earlier and probably didn't find him, but with me here I bet he will come out of hiding."

"…What are you going to do?"

"Something that I am going to regret, but since Luppi is infatuated with me it'll be easy to keep him preoccupied."

"Don't tell me you are going to…" Renji looked over to see Grimmjow staring at him with a somber expression. "Ichigo is going to be furious if he finds out that you fucked Luppi." The blunet shook his head before leaning back against the headrest.

"If I play my cards right I won't have to fuck him, but that all depends on how long it takes for the police to get here. I know when I see him I'm going to attack him, but if it's in the fit of passion, no one will be the wiser."

"…Are you sure about this?"

Grimmjow frowned, shutting his eyes. An image of Ichigo lying in that bed flashed before his eyes and he knew he would have to get involved if he wanted Luppi to pay. He couldn't attack the man as he did Renji or he would be in deeper shit and he didn't need that right now.

"No, but it's all that I can think of." Renji nodded and Grimmjow stepped out of the car, closing the door behind him. His mind was reeling as he made his way up the stone steps. He couldn't believe he was about to do this. His body felt stressed and he felt sick to his stomach, but he knew revenge was never as sweet as people said it was.

Lifting his hand up, he knocked against the door and waited for someone to answer. All he could think of was killing Luppi, murdering him and leaving his body for all to see. The thought of Ichigo dying because of his psychotic ex-boyfriend made him want to tear the petite man apart, but he had to remember to think logically. He had to remember that he was doing it the right way so that he could see Ichigo again, so that life could go back to normal, as if Luppi as never there.

The dark haired man would be in jail and he and Ichigo could back to their happy relationship. The door started to open and he watched one of the maids smile up at him.

"Grimmjow-sama, it's been such a long time. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Is Luppi here?" She nodded and made room for him to step inside.

"I believe he is upstairs in his quarters. You know where they are."

"Is his mom here?"

"She has stepped out for a moment. She will return shortly."

"Thanks. When she gets back, can you let me know?" The maid nodded and Grimmjow made his way deeper into the large home and up the grand staircase. It didn't matter how long he hadn't been there, he knew the place almost as much as his own home. He had been visiting the mansion since he was in high school and it had become his second home. The closer he got to Luppi's bedroom, the more he could hear his heart thundering in his body. He was nervous, but he was somewhat giddy at taking his anger out on the small man. He didn't know if he would be able to follow through on his plan, but if he could stall the man than that's all that mattered.

Finally making it to the door, he gazed at it, seeing the glow of light from under the door. He raised his fist, his fingers clenching tightly before he rapped against the door. At first there was no answer, so he knocked again. Luppi's muffled voice sounded from the opposite side, giving him permission to enter and he opened the door. Blue eyes watched the petite man run back and forth; throwing things in a suitcase and Grimmjow could feel himself smirking at the panicked look on Luppi's face.

Quietly closing the door behind him, he locked it and continued to watch the man. "Where are you going, Luppi?" The petite man jerked to a stop, dropping the clothing in his arms and snapped his head towards the door. His lavender eyes went large, noticing who was standing there. He didn't know if he should be relieved or afraid to see Grimmjow, so he just stood there, frozen.

Luppi watched Grimmjow stalk his way, the man's sapphire eyes sparkling with hidden emotions. He could feel his body shaking the closer Grimmjow got and before he knew it, he could feel the man's body heat against his. He craned his neck to look up, seeing the man loom over him with his intimidating aura. Grimmjow frowned and reached his hand out, letting his fingers softly ghost over Luppi's chin. "What's wrong? You look frightened. Did something happen?"

Luppi didn't know how to respond. Did Grimmjow not know about what happened with the orange haired freak? Maybe he had a chance to get Grimmjow back before the man caught wind of it. "N-no, nothing happened. I'm, uhm, I'm just shocked to see you here. I-I thought you hated me."

"…Hated you? Why would I hate you? I just have been stressing lately," Grimmjow responded calmly, taking a step forward, making Luppi back up. He looked over his shoulder to gaze at the suitcase. "Where are you going?"

"…Nowhere."

"Good, I would be hurt if you left me." The blunet harshly pushed Luppi up against the wall, slamming his hands above the man's head.

"I-I've missed you, Grimmjow," Luppi mumbled, wondering what was going on with the confusing atmosphere.

"…I bet." Leaning over, he let his lips ghost over Luppi's white skin, listening to the man moan. Grimmjow was utterly disgusted with himself. He could vomit at any second, but he tried to keep his hands to himself. He continued to remember why he was there. Slowly closing his eyes, he shivered at the image of Ichigo lying in the hospital, unconscious and pale. This was all Luppi's damn fault. He growled and slammed his fist against the wall, making the smaller man jump.

"Grimmjow!" Luppi reached his hands up, grabbing the blunet's hand and looking it over. "Be careful. Are you okay?" He sneered down at the dark haired man, trying to keep his anger at bay, but he was having a hard time. He acted before he thought and his hand pulled from Luppi's grip and wrapped around the slender neck, pushing Luppi against the wall. The man gasped, his small hands flying up to grip Grimmjow's around his neck.

"I'm far from okay. Did you really think I came over here to be lovey dovey with you?" Grimmjow could feel his grip tighten around Luppi's neck and the anger in him was slowly rising. The fire in his eyes were burning and making Luppi melt, lavender eyes widen even more and tears rolling down the frightened face. "I really want to kill you, Luppi, but I know that won't do me any good."

"W-wha-"

"Don't fuckin' speak. I don't want to hear another fuckin' word spill from your lips." Wild, sky blue eyes gazed down and Luppi couldn't do anything but sob in fear. He was so afraid that Grimmjow would kill him that he hoped someone would come to his rescue. "You thought you could hurt Ichigo and really get away with it? You must be the dumbest person on the face of the planet. You knew I would find out. You knew I would come after you, so why do it in the first place?" Grimmjow hissed, baring his sharp canines. "It wasn't going to bring us back together. The moment I walked out of your apartment you should have left it alone and moved on with your life."

"Luppi, dear! Momma's home!"

Grimmjow glanced over his shoulder when he heard the sickly sweet voice echo from behind the wall. Looking back down, he slid closer; his breathe ghosting over Luppi's face and his orbs gazing directly into the others. "I loathe your very existence and I can't wait for you to get exactly what you deserve." Grimmjow jerked his hand, making Luppi's head harshly hit the wall before pulling away. "Now, get yer ass up. We're going downstairs."

Luppi's head was throbbing as he slowly pushed himself up from the wall and made his way to the door, Grimmjow behind him. It was silent as he walked in front of Grimmjow. He didn't understand how the blunet found out it was him. He may have had a grudge over what happened, but it wasn't as if he could be connected to the accident.

"…You don't have proof that it was me," Luppi mumbled. "You're just going on your anger and are trying to pin this on me, Grimmjow. I love you; I wouldn't try and hurt you like this."

"Why is it that every fuckin' word that comes out of your mouth is utter bullshit? Seriously Luppi, I know it was you. Shit, two other people know it was you. First off, you shouldn't fuckin' drive your own car if you want to hit someone and secondly, you should hide yourself properly. Also, you should have gotten your car fixed."

Luppi's eyes went wide when he realized that his mother hadn't gotten his car fixed yet. When he fled from the scene his car looked as if he had drove into a pile of shopping carts. The beautiful silver body was dented and scratched. The front window was cracked, looking like spider webs and he distinctly remembered the blood that he didn't wipe off. He had thought that his mother was going to take care of it, but now that the evidence was out, what was he supposed to do?

They slowly walked down the stairs and Grimmjow smirked when he saw the petite man's mother standing there with a few cops and Renji. So the red head had come through for him after all and it seemed that Luppi's mother had her own agenda.

"Mommy? Wh-what's going on?" Lavender eyes were teary and wide as Luppi gazed at his mother's happy expression. The large smile on her face was frightening above anything else and he wondered just who was on his side. His feet stopped on the second to last step, Grimmjow still standing behind him and he realized that there was nowhere to go.

"Well, dear, I understand how much you love Grimmjow and I sympathize, but hurting someone is something mommy can't forgive. I've spoiled you for long enough, so I think it's time for you to understand the consequences of your actions."

"Bu-bu-"

"Now, now, mommy will be here for you every step of the way, but this is what happens when you break the law." Luppi watched as an officer stepped toward him and pulled him down onto the tiled floor. He was turned around and handcuffs were produced before he snapped out of his trance. He started to flail, not wanting to be taken away. The cuffs were put on and they started to drag Luppi out of the home.

"Antenor Luppi, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Kurosaki Ichigo. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Luppi shouted and Grimmjow just gazed at the spectacle before him. It was all over. Luppi was probably going to rot in jail for a good amount of years. He groaned, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulder, but it still didn't do much for how he was feeling. He didn't know if Ichigo would ever wake up and if he did, he wasn't sure how well Ichigo would be.

"Grimmjow." The man looked up to see Luppi's mother gazing at him with a sad expression. He slowly made his way down the rest of the stairs and stood in front of her. "I apologize for how my son acted towards you and what he did to your friend." She outstretched her hand, smoothing it over Grimmjow's cheek. "He caused you so much pain. He's more crazy than I thought."

"I'm surprised it took you this long to see it."

She sighed and folded her arms across her breasts. "His father had always worried about him, but I ignored it. I guess he really was obsessed with you on an unhealthy level. I never thought he would try to kill someone though." Grimmjow just shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

"Don't worry about it…" The blunet looked up when he saw Renji talking on his phone. The man looked panicked, his russet colored eyes large. "Renji?" The man looked his way before looking away and turning his back to him. That wasn't a good sign and Grimmjow wondered just what the hell was going on.

"Would you guys like some tea?"

"No, no, we have to be going, but thank you for all your help. I seriously thought you would be on Luppi's side."

"…At first I was, but I couldn't keep spoiling him. It's time for him to become a man and take some responsibility." Grimmjow watched the red head make his way out of the home and he said his goodbyes, following behind. They both stepped out into the dark night, Grimmjow watching Renji remove the phone from his ear.

"What's going on?"

"…That was Orihime. She said something happened with…Ichigo and that we should get to the hospital."

"Is it bad?"

"S-she didn't say." Grimmjow sighed, the fatigue coming back. This was killing him to no end and he hoped that Ichigo would be okay. He had yet to breakdown, trying to keep himself strong for everyone else. People probably thought he should be holed up in a corner, crying his eyes out and though he wanted to, he knew it wasn't the time to do so. Ichigo's life was titter totting and he had to be strong until the last minute. He needed to be sane for as long as he could before he flew off the deep end into a pit of sadness.

Sighing, he looked up towards the night sky. He needed Ichigo to wake up and tell him everything was okay. He needed to hear that voice and see those white eyes to know that nothing would go wrong again.

His foundation was being taken from him and he needed that support before he started crumbling to the ground.


OMG, I so wanted to kill Luppi, but had to think logically. It wouldn't be a good thing if Grimmjow went to jail and also this makes you see how much Grimmjow has changed from before, where he would fly off the handle instantly (the scene where he almost killed Renji). He has come to realize that blind fury isn't always the right thing to do. He's becoming such a man. Sorry no ass-kicking for Luppi. Only broken dreams and a hurt pride.

I hope everyone enjoyed this. Please review and see you next chapter.