A/N: Do not own skins or La Roux!

" GET THE FUCK OUT" I scream, throwing Emily's clothes at her from my doorway.

"Naomi. Please. I'm sorry", she pleads with me, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I don't want to hear it, Emily. Just leave" I said, trying not to sob as I stared at the girl I'd never stopped loving. It'd been a week since the night Emily had stayed over and it had been bliss. Shagging like bunnies; in my room, in the shower, even once on one occasion the kitchen bench. We'd made love all day and all night.

It was like Emily was the glue healing my fractured heart. Adult Emily was so similar yet different to teenage Emily, still loving, kind, caring and hilariously witty but there was this internal growth, a stability, security and understanding of herself. I felt like I was falling with a parachute and I couldn't care less if I hit the ground.

This week had been one of the best in my life, getting to know each other, eating in bed, laughing at old jokes, playing with Freddie and sharing dinner with Effy and Cook who seemed more like an married old couple as each day grew on. I felt a sense of contentment I had lost years ago, I was in serenity.

"Naomi, it's over. I love you, I've always loved you", Emily calls through the door, sobbing softly.

I throw the door open and stare at her.

"Don't you even fucking dare say that to me. How dare you. You've been lying to my face, fucking me while all the while she's been waiting for you. You used me, just an old flame, a bit of adventure for your boring life. You're fucking pathetic," I snarl at her, "Now get the fuck off my property".

I've never seen anyone look so broken as I saw Emily, her hair was a mess, mascara streaming smudged down her face, tears falling everywhere and her eyes looking so lifeless and sad. No. I couldn't. I was drowning in my own self-loathing, pain and hurt.

In my ears my heart pounded, overloading my system as I stumbled blind through the house to my bedroom, collapsing onto my bed, the world went blank. Flashing memories of every single moment of the last decade ran through my mind, overflowed with every single aspect of Emily, it was too much. My heart excelled through my ears and I heard Effy's gentle calm voice and I fell into blackness.

Black invaded my system, as I tumbled through it before hitting the endless bottom with a crash. For what felt like an eternity I felt nothing. I was nothing. A lifeless entity floating through blackness, flicking like a candle flame every time Emily's soft whisper of 'I love you' crept through me.

"Fuck sake Naomi. Wake up"

I snapped my eyes open to see a very concerned looking Effy staring back at me, I blinked hard and tried to sit up, suddenly very weak all over, before collapsing back into bed, trying to pushing the probing redhead from my mind.

"Life's fucked", I choke out to my best friend.

Effy chuckles softly and gently pushed the hair from my eyes, affectionately.

"Isn't it just" she murmurs, handing me a cup of tea, and I nod in thanks, "you've been out for a few days. Every time I woke you, you'd mumble E- I mean her name and beg me for alcohol"

I nodded vaguely remember this but it felt more like a dream than reality. I sipped my tea enjoying the scolding of my tongue.

"She's been calling. Constantly. I had to turn your phone off, cause it was so full of messages and missed calls. Even fucking Katie has rung" Effy said, snuggling into bed next to me with her tea.

"I don't want to speak to her" I mumble, "she has a girlfriend. Someone who loves her and she's been here all week fucking me"

"I told her that but she wouldn't accept it. She told me to tell you, she'll wait until your ready to speak to her and she doesn't care how long it takes, she'll keep waiting"

We sit in silence as I process this. Emily. My heart clenches at the mention of her name and I feel the tears rush to my eyes, I try to fight it but I can't. I break down and Effy's skinny yet safe arms surround me.

Later in the night I hear the soft footsteps of Cook and Effy leaving for dinner on my insistence that I would be fine, Freddie was staying with Anthea to give us all some time together. The house is filled with an eerie stillness from less than a week ago when it was so full of life and love. I turn up my iPod desperate to tune out the emptiness in the house and my heart.

No wonder I'm scared

To look in your eyes

You've turned me away

So many times

You can take it away

At any given moment

It's hard to believe

While you're in this disguise

So would you hold me please

I'm trying hard to breathe

I'm just surviving

So would you hold me please

I'm trying hard to breathe

Stop me from crying

When I see you walking with her

I have to cover my eyes

(I have to cover my eyes)

Every time you leave with her

Something inside me dies

(Something inside of me dies)

No wonder it hurts

To sit by your side

(Turned me away so many times)

There's a different song

I can play you tonight

(We don't have to sit here in silence)

We can break the pattern

We can change the colour

(It's just a little sacrifice)

You don't need to worry about the others

(It's all in your mind)

So would you hold me please

I'm trying hard to breathe

I'm just surviving

So would you hold me please

I'm trying hard to breathe

Stop me from crying

When I see you walking with her

I have to cover my eyes

(I have to cover my eyes)

Every time you leave with her

Something inside me dies

(Something inside of me dies)