Chapter 9: Loss of More Members and Goodbye
I sat in the round room, listening to the members convene about Axel leaving the organization, and wished I could rip my ears off. They made it seem like Axel was a traitor but he wasn't! Axel was dedicated to saving his friend Roxas from being harmed by the organization and I knew that. Every time the two were together, I could see Axel's protective, big brother attitude but he never acted like that towards anyone else in the organization. Even though I loved Xemnas, I felt like Axel was part of my family and I loved him. Family would want to jump in whenever someone they loved was in a pinch, right?
"So he betrayed us," said Saix coldly, causing the anger I've held back for a while to boil to the surface. "If Axel has betrayed us, then he is no further use for us. We must eliminate him."
When I got mad, I had no filter to my mouth. "No," I cried, wringing my hands together, "you can't do this!"
Xaldin spoke over me. "Axel is a traitor, girl," he said as coldly as Saix. "Traitors must be eliminated, that is the rules." A lance appeared next to him as he spoke to me. Was he going to throw it at me?
I clenched my fist to keep the tears from springing up into my eyes. "Don't you dare hurt Axel! He's just doing what he thinks is right! Protecting his friend! If you all had half a brain you'd do the same thing!" Wow, that was cold but again my mouth had no filter.
Xaldin bared his teeth at me as he growled, "You little chit!" The lance next to him aimed itself at me but Xemnas raised a hand to calm the organization.
Xaldin looked up and the lance disappeared in response. He then sank into a very angry state but still kept a steady, cool glare on me. I ignored him and looked up to Xemnas hopefully. Although Xemnas and I agreed to keep our relationship quiet, sometimes we exposed a bit of our secret by our loving glances towards each other. I was surprised Saix hadn't found out because he was one of the most shrewdest members but if he did he would disapprove of it.
"So what about the hero?" asked Xigbar, changing the subject effectively. "He's now moving forward."
I kind of blocked out the conversation with all the thoughts that flew through my head. Where was Axel? Was he okay? What would become of him? What about me and Xemnas? What would become of us? Would we live through this together? All the thinking made me feel sick so I closed my eyes and just sank into a daydreaming state.
…
Soon after, I found out Xaldin and Demyx were dead because their stones turned red. I did cry but mostly for Demyx because he was so sweet and innocent. After a while, I sat with Xemnas in his room and rested my weary head on his broad shoulder just letting the tears flow. I felt like I could be myself with Xemnas because he made me feel safe. Just being in his embrace made it feel like nothing was wrong and everything was okay. I closed my eyes and let myself rest next to him.
"Shelby," said Xemnas softly, causing my eyes to open, "I'm going to send you home before I fight Sora. I don't want you to see the fight."
I felt dread stab at my stomach as I looked up at him sadly. "I don't want you to die," I cried, feeling like I was on the verge of tears. "Please…" My voice became a whisper as I stared up at him in a begging fashion.
His eyes were gentle as a smile spread on his face. "Shelby," he said, wiping the tear from my cheek, "I won't die. I promise I won't." His expression was so earnest that I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
Yes you will, I thought as I stared at him quietly, and I'll never see you again…I buried my face in Xemnas's chest and began to weep openly. This was a moment I would hold in my heart forever.
…
Just as Xigbar and Saix faded, I realized that it was time to leave. Xemnas would send me away so I wouldn't see him die and that felt okay to me because I would probably die alongside him if I saw him die. I didn't think I could bear to lose Xemnas because I loved him so much but I never thought in a million years that I would fall in love with him. I was glad I did, though, because I felt like I could open my heart and smile a little more now.
Xemnas took me up to the Alter of Naught and held my hands tightly in his, turning to face me. His expression was full of pain and need as he bent to kiss my lips for the last time. I clung to him and let our lips move passionately as we stayed in a closely warm embrace. For the first time, I let his tongue in my mouth because I knew this would the last time we'd ever see each other. Finally, we stepped apart and hugged each other one last time.
"I love you," he whispered in my ear, "always have, always will." His words were so tender and gentle that I held onto them in my heart so I could remember them on my bad days.
"I love you too," I whispered, tears running down my face. "Never forget that, my love." There was pain in my chest that felt unreal like my heart was breaking but hearts would still beat the same.
"I'll never forget," he whispered, running a gentle hand through my hair. "I'll come back for you. I promise." His golden eyes were so tender and convincing that for a second I believed he would but I knew he wouldn't because he was going to die when he fought Sora.
"Goodbye, my love," he said gently as he angled my body towards a dark corridor that he summoned. "I'll see you soon."
Before I could speak, I felt myself being pushed through and I knew that was it. I would never see him again but it was safe to cry because no one was there to see me break down. I would be okay soon; I knew I would but my love for him was true. Many kids my age wouldn't know love but I found it in such a small place and in unexpected ways. Maybe it was God's way of healing me because I knew the lord never closed one door without opening another.
…
Days later, I laid on my bed, holding Xemnas's black coat tightly so I could smell him again, but I was on the phone with my friend Cheryl. When I told her about what in the organization, she believed me but still asked questions about the members in general. After answering a question about Demyx, I heard her ask about Xemnas's coat.
"So Shelby, where did you get that coat?" she asked in a serious tone.
I began thinking it through because I didn't tell her about the relationship between me and Xemnas. "Well, it's a long story…" I said, starting at the beginning.
~Fin~ (for now)
A/N: I finally reached the end of the story! I hope you enjoyed because I have sequel formulating! Thanks for those who stuck with me till the end and I hope you'll be around for the sequel! Well, read and review!
