A/N: Sorry guys been away for a while with uni work but here's a new chapter, very rushed so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Read and review pur-leasee.

My palms were sweaty as I stepped through the gate at Heathrow, around me the other arrivals threw themselves at the families, lovers or friends, laughter and chatter filled the hair and I couldn't help but be disappointed when I couldn't see my own family amongst them but then again I hadn't told anyone I was returning to England. It was both a surprise for them and myself, I didn't know what told me I was ready to come home, it was like some internal pushing that urged me to pack my bags and jump the next plane to Heathrow.

As I lined up as the luggage collection, I took notice of all the exchanges of love taking place around me. The swinging of intertwined fingers, stolen kisses and the gentle squeezes of shoulders. I briefly imagined greeting Emily from a trip away, running my fingers through her silky red locks, my head against her neck feeling her rapid pulse and brushing my lips against hers in a chaste kiss and preview of when I got her home. I sighed, and shook my head. I had no expectations it had been six months and a lot could happen in that time, she could have found someone else, gotten back with Beth or even moved on I didn't think she would've waited for me but inside me, I clung to quiet hopefulness.

As I stared out the taxi window sometime later, I felt nervous anticipation buzz through me as London zoomed around me, still running even in my absence. The weather gloomy as ever, the buildings old and regal, the people rushing, it seemed so oddly foreign yet familiar to me. I thought about Effy and Freddie, wondering what they're reactions would be on my arrivals. I hoped there hearts were still open to me, six month isn't that long but I had completely blocked them out and I wasn't proud of that. I just needed time and space. I needed to be alone. Truly alone; no crutches and help, I had needed to learn to function and live without the comfort and safety of my family. I had plunged off the climb, and free fell into the unknown, and when I hit the ground I wasn't surrounded by warm hands and words of comfort, I had stood on shaky legs and dusted myself off. As the taxi, turned the last corner to our cottage, my palms began to sweat, nerves and excitement coursed through my veins.

I stared at my home, when we pulled up outside, it hadn't changed a bit, still glowing with an unkempt charm as I paid the taxi driver and stood outside my suitcase, backpack and guitar (a new hobby from Spain) my breath turned shaky. I took slow steps down the path, engulfing myself in homely contentment and when I finally reached the front door I briefly wondered if I should knock or use the key burning in my pocket. Key, this was still my home. I trembled as I turned the key in the door, and stepped through the door.

Immediately I was surrounded by familiar smells of home, I could never name it, just a distinct scent that I recognised as home. I could hear voices through the back of the house as I gently put my things down in the hallway, still unnoticed. Padding softly through the hallway, I smiled at how everything was exactly the same. As I came out into the clearing I saw them all sitting at the dinner table, Effy laughing as Freddie and Cook talked furiously fast. They were so beautiful and familiar, Freddie had grown, Cook was exactly the same cheeky grin in place as always and Effy. Well she was as stunning as ever, my heart skipping a beat just looking at her. Deep down I knew my leaving wasn't just for me. For so long Effy and I had been each other's walking sticks, not able to walk we hobbled along together. My leaving was a time for her to grow as well, to be the lover of Cook and the mother of Freddie without me there to take the tension away. As I leant on the doorframe I wondered if there was still room for me in their hearts, so lost in my thoughts I didn't notice the room go silent. Noticed at last, three pair of eyes stared at me, Freddie and Cook's eyes held joy but Effy's were completely unreadable. Tension filled the air and I knew I had to step up to this moment, I stepped out of the safety of the doorway and stood up straight in front of them.

"Hello", I whispered softly

Within seconds, two small arms surrounded me and I laughed as Freddie squealed my name over and over. I picked him up and swung him around the kitchen.

"I've missed you so much Nomi" he said to me, using his childhood nickname for me cause he couldn't pronounce Naomi.

"Not as much as I've missed you", I whisper to him and sigh inhaling his warm and scent.

"Stand down little dude, I think its my turn" a deep voice boomed and when I opened my eyes, Cook stood waiting with a huge wicked grin on his face. The moment I dropped Freddie, two huge strong arms engulfed me and tears fell down my cheeks as I felt myself picked up and swung in the same way I did to Freddie. I giggled and snuggled deeper into him. Cook was safety; he always had been for me. I knew he'd protect me no matter what. Eventually we let go and I stepped back, slowly looking up at Effy. She sat still, her eyes still glued on me, so fucking unreadable. I stared back at her, a small sad smile on my face. Tension hung in the air and I vaguely hear Cook mumble to Freddie to come to the park down the road. I glanced at Freddie's whose face was sad and confused as he looked between Cook and me.

"You'll still be here when I get back, won't you Nomi?", he asked tears in his voice, I kneeled down to his level and smiled genuinely at him.

"Of course, my darling" I said and he grinned before running towards the front door, I feel Cook gently squeeze my shoulder as he follows Freddie out.

Effy's eye never leave mine and I swallow hard, I never expected it to be this hard. I take a few steps forward, my hands in the pockets of my jeans.

"Hi Eff" I whisper to her, and in that moment she breaks. Her expression is so broken and yet joyful.

"Don't fucking hi Eff me, Naomi", she chokes out, standing up and looking at me defiantly in the eyes almost as if to fight to urge to run to me or to stay where she is.

I walk towards her, tears falling freely down my cheeks and try to wrap my arms around her, she fights me pushing me away but I cling to her for dear life. She finally stops fighting and breaks down in my arms. I've only seen Effy cry like this once, just after she found out she was pregnant and it hit her that Freddie really was dead.

I whisper I'm sorry over and over, guilt burning through me. I never knew. I knew. But I didn't. That sounds so stupid but I guess I thought she'd be okay, I thought maybe she wouldn't need me. We stood like this for a while, her sobs eventually slow down but I never let go or loosen my grip. When Effy finally looks up at me, I'm shocked by the love glowing from her eyes, so pure and needy. It was then I finally realised it, for so long we've both believed we were tainted and so broken and incapable of loving or being loved, but without even knowing it we had loved each so selflessly, so unconditionally, so wholesomely. I began to cry and realized how stupid I'd been.

I was surprised when Effy's lips found mine, pushing gently against mine, her tongue slipping into my mouth, shocked I didn't response for a second until I kissed her back with the same gentle but reassuring force. I knew this wasn't a romantic kiss it was a kiss of life. A moment shared between two people so connected that I knew, no matter what happened Effy was mine and I was hers. We'd been through it all together, this kiss was reassurance I'd never leave her again, it was love, trust and comfort. It was the only way Effy could tell me how much she loved me. It lasted a few moments before we pulled away, smiled at each other through our tears and hugged.

"I've missed you Campbell", she murmured softly to me. I chuckled and squeezed her tighter telling her I felt the same.

Once Cook and Freddie returned the four of sat around eating ice-creaming, I recounted my tales of Spain and a small trip to Paris and Italy and Cook filled me in on life in England, all the while Effy held my hand underneath the table and Cook rested his hand on my knee while we laughed, joked and enjoyed each other's company. It was comforting knowing I'd been missed, knowing that they still needed me as much as I needed them. Yes, I'd learnt to be by myself and rely on myself but having family means just because you can doesn't mean you have to be alone.

Sometime later, I bid my family goodnight and stepped with a big breath into my room. The first thing I noticed was the bed was unmade, and I couldn't help but smile and wonder, silently praying Effy and Cook hadn't had sex and forgotten to change the sheets. I frowned remembering Emily and I in my bed. Moans, breathy whispers and wandering hands invaded my conscious, and I shook my head and threw my bags down before stripped down to my undies and throwing on an old baggy t-shirt. I climbed into bed, letting myself sink into the warmth and comfort of my own bed. I expected to fall asleep straight away but Emily sneaking her way into my thoughts and soul kept me awake as always. I closed my eyes and surrendered to her. She was laughing at me, her dark eyes glowering at me with love. I smiled to myself as I watched her giggle, she was forever seventeen year old Emily to me. I'm pulled from my Emily when I feel a body snuggle up next to me in bed.

"Hello Eff" I say softly and smiling without opening my eyes, knowing immediately who it is.

"Sorry for not making the bed", she whispers to me, snuggling into my shoulder.

"As long it wasn't you and Cook having sex it's fine" I chuckle at her

"Nah, that was on your desk" she replies.

I open my eyes and stare at her disgusted when she begins to laugh and I slap her playfully.

"You slept her because you needed to get away from Cook", I said looking at the ceiling.

"No" comes the soft reply and I glance at her confused, " I slept here because I needed you"

I smile sadly and drawn her closer.

"Emily slept here a few times too", I stiffen at this and pull away from Effy, sitting up and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. I couldn't be in this bed. Not if Emily had been here recently, thousands of bittersweet memories washed over me.

"I'm sorry" comes Effy in the darkness and gently pulls me back down to the bed.

"It's in the past" I say to her and pull her back to me.

"She turned up drunk a few times, calling out for you. By the time I'd wake up she was gone away. One night she and Panda came for dinner, and for a moment she had me convinced to go and find you with her" she murmurs to me softly squeezing my hand in comfort.

"Really?" I whisper shocked, that Emily cared that much even after I ran away and how awful I was to her.

"Yeah, but that was ages ago. I haven't seen her for awhile now", comes Effy's sleepily reply, I feel my heart twinge with disappointment at that.

My bedroom door opens and the soft pad of feet cross my floorboards, Freddie falling between Effy and I snuggling up to his mother. I smile and kiss his head, as within minutes him and Effy are sound asleep. I stay awake, wondering about Emily, where she was, how she was doing. As I fight to stay awake some time later, I vaguely here my door open away and a dip in the bed, before passing out from exhaustion