Author's Note: Oh my God, you guys. First I am so sorry for such a long wait. I have been on a serious hiatus for what? 7 months? I've been dealing with all sorts of shit. School, job hunting and moving and I just couldn't even get back into writing at all. It's been such a stressful struggle these past months but throughout that I have received SO MANY sweet reviews and messages from people hoping that I would come back. You guys are really amazing I-I just don't know what to say. I felt really bad leaving like I did, but I would never abandon my stories or you guys. I am no longer really in the Bleach fandom, but I still have a major love for the characters and my Bleach OTP is still Grimmichi so I will not stop writing them. To say sorry for making you all wait for so long there will be a double post.
Also I know alot of you know about the goings on on FFnet. It's a real bother and I don't know how long my stories are going to stay on this site. But never fear, I am at Archive Of Our Own if you guys want to follow me there. I am under the same name and all my stories will be posted there as well as new stories. I'm debating on posting any new stories here but we will see how that goes. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the double post and I might post something tomorrow too. I'm slowly getting back into writing so HELLO AGAIN! Also happy 6/15 day tomorrow.
Chapter 24
It felt good again, talking to Ichigo. Renji's heart was beating so fast from the talk he and the oranget had. He expressed himself, told Ichigo the things he never thought he could ever speak of to anyone. It felt good to let the younger man know, but he worried about how the new information would change his best friend's perception of him. Renji feared of losing Ichigo. He feared of the questions Ichigo would ask him in the future. It was hard to still not love Ichigo. The orange haired man had been his best friend, his brother for years and they had done everything together. They were inseparable from a young age and even though he was the oldest out of the two he looked up to Ichigo with a great deal of honor. The boy had been through so much and was still going through it strong. Renji didn't think he would ever be able to overcome such tragedies.
The red head didn't know much about his real family, being that he was adopted. Rukia and Byakuya were the only ones that were worth mentioning, other than Ichigo and his family. His adopted family hadn't been cruel, but they weren't the nicest family on the block either. They seemed to have some bitterness towards Ichigo's family and tried everything in their power to keep the two boys separated. Of course Renji never paid attention to what his "parents" said and took it upon himself to sneak out and spend as much time with Ichigo as possible. He guessed living next door had its advantages, and he made use of Ichigo's balcony window, even at the age of seven. They were both reckless anyway, so climbing to the second story window was a piece of cake.
That is until he fell one day and broke his arm. His parents roared and screamed like banshees saying Ichigo had put their son up to the craziness, calling him a delinquent in the making. That didn't sit too well with Ichigo's parents especially his mother, who knew Ichigo was a godsend. That never kept the two little boys apart though. It was always Ichigo and Renji against the world and the red head knew that would never change.
In high school, even if there were girls, they would be joined at the hip. Even after Ichigo's parents had passed and the oranget had his bad days, Renji seemed like the only one to make him feel better. They were like brothers and nothing would ever change that.
Renji smiled against the sheets wrapped around Ichigo's form. He felt fingers skating through his long red strands and sighed. He knew Ichigo would never love him, but this was fine too. He enjoyed the quiet times he had with Ichigo even if they were short lived. Grimmjow wouldn't be back that night (at least he hoped so) and he could enjoy this moment watching crappy hospital television with Ichigo. Of course the oranget couldn't see it, but that never really mattered. It was always all about the company.
Renji leaned his head against the large coffee vending machine, watching the dark brown liquid pour into the white Styrofoam cup. He was tired. It was almost three in the morning and Ichigo had been fast asleep for the past hour and a half. He knew he should leave, but for some reason he just couldn't. Renji was afraid that if he fell asleep and the day changed that everything would go wrong again. He didn't want that. He wanted to live in this moment, enjoy the progress he and Ichigo had made in fixing their friendship. It was a stupid idea, but maybe that's what he needed instead of thinking logical. Though his stupid ideas usually got him in trouble, there was always a small chance of success.
Sighing, he pulled the cup from the machine and sipped on the hot cup of caffeine. He never remembered drinking so much coffee in his life. He was always an energetic guy, but with the lack of sleep lately drinking the beverage to stay awake had become a requirement for him. As he started to make his way back towards Ichigo's room, he felt his cell phone start to vibrate against his hip.
Stopping, he pulled the device out of his pocket and pressed the answer button before placing it on his ear.
"Hello," he said as he stared down at the hot drink.
"Renji, it's Rukia."
"What's up?" There was a pause before the sound of the small woman sighing.
"I take it you're still at the hospital." He just grunted and continued to make his way closer to Ichigo's room. "Go home. I'm sure Ichigo needs his rest and I know you been there practically all day. Stop running yourself ragged."
"Tch, one of us has to see him for us both. I haven't even seen you down here once."
"I was there the first time!"
"And any other time?" He stopped next to the door and leaned against the wall. "You're his friend. You should be here just as much as everyone else. Orihime probably comes here just as much as I do. She even brings him things she knows he doesn't need. I have yet to see a badly drawn card or even a Chappy stuffed animal. Do you really hate him that much for not getting with her?"
"Of course not! I-I just…" The other line was silent and Renji sipped on his coffee waiting while Rukia collected her thoughts. "I don't like seeing him like that," she practically whispered. Renji was surprised he even heard her. "It's already bad that he lost his eye sight. I-I can't stand the sight of seeing him lying up in that bed all day. It bothers me seeing him so helpless."
"That's still not an excuse. Do you think it makes anyone else happy? We come here because Ichigo can't come to us. I expected you to know that much. He is glad when we come to see him, so stop acting like an idiot and get your ass down here."
"F-Fine! I'll see him later this week." Renji smiled smugly and sipped at his coffee again. "But you still need to give Ichigo his space, Renji. You're his best friend, not his lover. That's Grimmjow's job."
"…I know," Renji mumbled. He knew that very well, but he still refused to accept that. Just because Grimmjow was the lover didn't mean he had to step aside as the best friend. It didn't mean he needed to skimp on his friendly duties. But maybe he was doing a little too much. Maybe he was smothering Ichigo with his love.
"I'm glad you do. Oh and Renji-"
"Yeah?"
"If you call my drawing bad again, I'll kick your ass." Renji just snorted when the phone hung up and he dropped his hand to his side. He glanced out of the corner of his eye, looking at the door that separated him from Ichigo. It was a struggle to want to leave but maybe Rukia was really right. Maybe he should just go home.
So he did just that, slipping his phone back into his pocket and passed the room as he made his way out of the hospital, not even looking back.
Renji quietly slipped into the apartment, closing the door behind him and toeing off his shoes. That little time spent with Ichigo was wonderful, but he couldn't forget the words that Rukia had spoken to him. Ichigo was in fact Grimmjow's and that probably wasn't ever going to change. Things between him and his best friend would never be the same again. Ichigo knew about his feelings, knew about the crush he had had for so damn long. It didn't make things awkward, but Renji could tell there was a bigger gap between them.
Sighing, he made his way to the kitchen, ignoring that it was 3AM. He needed something to stop his stomach from growling up a storm. After heating up some korokke Yuzu had made earlier in the day, he made his way to his room savoring the taste of the deep-fried dish. The sound of soft classical music filled the hallway and Renji already knew Grimmjow had to be home. It was freaking 3AM; of course the blunet was home. Maybe the man couldn't sleep and the music was just something to pass the time. It was so much like Ichigo that it hurt Renji just thinking about it. Making it closer to his room, he paused at the slightly opened door of Ichigo's room and peeked inside.
At a first glance he didn't notice anything until he pushed the door open a bit more. He gazed down at the sleeping figure lying above the tucked in covers, a large forearm thrown the face. Renji could see Pantera curled up on the man's chest. Sighing, he figured it was a good thing that the big guy was finally able to sleep. Pushing the door open wider, he padded into the room and turned off the radio and then flipped the light switch, closing the door behind him.
Grimmjow was a lot strong than him. He could see that now. He knew if he and Ichigo had been in a relationship he wouldn't be able to deal with all the waiting and frustration and heartache Grimmjow was going through. Having unrequited love for your best friend was nothing compared to two lovers being apart only to be brought back together with such a tragedy. Sure he knew Ichigo longer and definitely loved him longer, but the mutual love between Grimmjow and Ichigo was so much stronger, so much more alive and he knew that it was his time to step aside and let the two be.
It was going to be hard, but he was a friend. And that's what real friends did.
