Title: The Worst Couple Ever
Author: drcjsnider
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 291
A/N(optional): Fred's not dead. Written for the live journal fwhg-ldws challenge.

"We are the worst couple ever," Hermione whined, flopping onto the spare bed in Ginny's room. "We have absolutely nothing in common. He finds me boring and I think he's immature. He hates my cooking, but I despise take-away. He is the life of the party, while I'm more of a homebody. Seriously, what in the world was I thinking when I agreed to marry him?"

"You were thinking," Ginny reminded her, "that he was the sweetest, funniest, kindest, fittest, best-looking, and most intelligent bloke that you'd ever met."

A tiny smile graced Hermione's lips. "Yeah," she sighed happily. "I remember now."

0-0-0

"We are the worst couple ever," Fred complained, propping his boots on the counter. "She drags me to the theater when she knows I fancy Quidditch. She refused to let me listen to the Weird Sisters' Reunion Concert, just in case news of the Wizengamot's vote on House Elf Rights was broadcast over the wireless. She insists on wearing frumpy, drab robes even after I bought her tight fitting, low-cut dresses that really bring out the perfection of her tits. She thinks some bird named Jane Austen was the best writer who ever lived; I don't even know who that is! Nothing I do pleases her. I swear she must have taken NEWT level courses in nagging."

"While you didn't take any NEWT classes at all," George reminded him.

"Either did you!"

"True, but I can rely on my natural good looks and charm and get me through life. If you muck up your engagement with Hermione, you're going to spend the next 120 years kicking yourself for letting her go."

"Yeah," Fred nodded. "I know."

0-0-0

Hermione stared at Fred.

Fred stared back at her.

"I'm sorry."