This Sounds Like The Beginning To Something Terrible
"He's right about one ding," Gilbert said to Francis.
"Hm?" his friend responded with, not looking away from his speech.
"I feel like a hypocrite for dinking about saying anyding like dis." He sat up, fixing Francis with his most serious expression before he spoke. "Love is alvays patient ant kind."
The both of them burst out into laughter. "Mon Dieu! You're right, you have to cut that out right now." Gilbert did as he said, scribbling that out. "Anyway, you should not be cutting and pasting from official speeches, you should be coming up with things on your own."
"Easy enough for you to say," Gilbert groused, leaning up against the couch and resting his pad of paper against his drawn up knees. "I'fe alreaty gotten rid of about eferyding... I'm going to be left vith noding left to say up dere." He was no longer as bothered by this as he used to be. Another thing came to mind and he scribbled it down. Still, at the rate he was going he was going to have to wing it.
"Well, that's no good. I'm having to cut through everything I want to say. Roasting Antonio will only be good if I don't overdo it."
"It's good enough," Gilbert drawled, glancing over his shoulder at him. "I had to pay to get myself ordained. Ofer de Internet. Vhat does he expect to get from an Internet-okayed officiant?"
"Oh, oh!" Francis sat up, maniacal grin on his face. "I know what you should read with your opening statement!"
"I had someding... but go ahead." Gilbert shrugged. Francis cleared his throat.
"To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up."
Again they pealed off into more laughter and Gilbert asked Francis to repeat it a few times so he could write it down. "Actually, I dink dat's adfice to anyone about anyding," Gilbert corrected Francis as he finished writing it.
"True, which is why it is appropriate." Francis reached over to grab his milkshake, sipping the last of it through a straw. "You think you can have it memorized in time?"
"Hell, I can hafe dis memorized by the rehearsal."
"I mean your entire piece."
Gilbert hesitated, thinking about it. "I'm allowet notes, right?"
"Of course."
"Den... ja."
Once more the both of them returned to quiet as they wrote, read, rewrote, and re-read everything they had managed to compile over the past week. Gilbert was pretty certain he would have something good by the wedding. He was also pretty certain he was going to wing most of it. He did not think Antonio would mind too much. After all, Gilbert was simply awesome. Gilbert was almost more awesome when he did not plan it out ahead of time and just went with the flow.
"Do you think Antonio might actually kill me if I mentioned some of our experimentation when we were younger?"
"No, but I might," Gilbert scowled over at him. "Get me more milkshake."
"Are you kidding? I am not going back in there. Not with Feliciano..." Francis hesitated, seeming to grasp for the exact word he wanted to use. "Not with Feliciano acting like Lovino."
Gilbert stared at him. "Oh... you're right! Dat's exactly vhat he's been acting like!" Not that it went the other way at all. Lovino had been giving him a more than just slightly evil eye lately. Probably stemming from Antonio's choice as him as the officiant. Then again, who would they have otherwise? Lovino could not have picked someone more awesome, because there was no one more awesome!
Maybe he would have chosen someone with more experience, like his grandfather. Not that Gilbert could imagine Marcus doing a good job of it. Not saying that the man was not capable, but he was likely to become distracted by the fact Lovino would be standing right there right in the middle of officiating. Gilbert would do better than that.
Once more, Gilbert became worried about his position.
Notes:
No bride would have a wedding dress shop pick out a 'nice' dress and send it to her by her wedding day and no groom would ever go to a store and tell a jeweler to find him a couple 'nice' rings. Yet most couples (99% I hear) do when talking to the wedding officiant. "Say something nice". And here is Gilbert. Say something nice Gilbert. I dare you.
Poem thanks to Ogden Nash. He obviously knew what he was talking about.
