Retaliate
Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, not me. **Sighs** Maybe if I change my name to CBS than that means I own it, right?
Summary: Hotch pulls a prank on Emily that upsets her so much that she retaliates with a prank of her own.
A/N: Yes, this is another one that I super duper love, and I realize how many prank stories I have so I'll be putting them in a multi-chapter fic.
Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.
Winston Churchill said "A joke is a very serious thing."
Hotch ran from his office into the bullpen and all the way down the hall of the BAU to the men's bathroom.
Dave walked out of his office to see Reid and Dave lift their heads up and see the flash of blur that was their Unit Chief.
All three men turn their heads up to Hotch's office to see a very pissed off Emily drenched in water, soaked to the bone storm out of Hotch's office.
"Aaron Hotchner!" Emily shouted causing everyone to look at her "You're a dead man!"
Emily noticed everyone looking at her and said "What are you all looking at?"
Every single person went back to what they were doing not wanting to incur the wrath of one angry Emily.
Dave watched as the soaking wet Emily marched down the steps and up to him.
"Where the hell is that coward you call a friend?" Emily demanded.
Dave could only point in the direction of the men's room.
Emily walked out of the bullpen and muttered "Payback is a bitch."
When Emily returned less than 10 minutes later in clean clothes and walks up to Hotch's office and plants the evidence she'll need.
Emily walks over to the men's bathroom and knocked on it.
"Hotch?" Emily said faking a calm non-angry voice "I'm not mad anymore. You can come out now."
"I don't believe you." Hotch said warily "You're still mad."
"No, I forgive you." Emily said "I even got a surprise for you."
Emily smirked thinking of her surprises she had in store.
"I don't trust you Emily." Hotch said not opening the door.
Emily sighed and opened the belt on her coat.
"Open the door and peek at one of your surprises." Emily said in a sultry voice.
That caused Hotch's ears to perk up 'Does she want me?'
Hotch unlocked the door and opened it a tiny bit and saw Emily in a white coat flashing him sexy lingerie.
"See anything you like?" Emily said in a sexy voice.
Hotch went to grab her arm to pull her into the bathroom when she said "Not here, in your office."
Hotch nodded like a zombie and closed her coat, grabbing her arm and heading to his office.
'Easier than I thought.' Emily smirked at that.
Walking into his office, he locks the door and rips the coat off of her kissing her.
Emily walks him over to his couch and rips his jacket suit off him, ripping off his buttons to his white shirt.
"Oh god," Hotch said as she kisses his neck "I've wanted this for so long."
Emily smirks at that as she leaves a big hickey on his neck.
Hotch goes to remove his belt, when Emily spots the light on her cellphone in her coat light up.
'It's showtime' Emily thought grabbing the handcuffs.
"Whoa, wait a minute there..." Hotch said seeing the handcuffs, "I'm not so sure about that."
"What?" Emily said "I'd thought someone like you wouldn't mind a little fun. But if you're too chicken..."
The brunette moved to get off of his lap, but Hotch grabbed her and put her back to straddle him.
"I guess it's ok" he told her, giving her a grin,
Emily leaned down kissing his nose "Good boy."
While still kissing Emily linked the handcuffed to the bookcase having Hotch's hands raised above him.
Hotch looked at Emily "Oh God I want you."
Emily smirked at that and said "Since you're all tied up, I think I'm going to have to undress you myself."
Hotch smirked at that and said "I think you just might have to."
Emily unbuckled Hotch's belt and threw it on the floor, she went for his shoes next.
"Wow, big feet." Emily said looking at him sultry "Wonder if what they say about big feet is true."
Hotch chuckled at that and said "Why don't you find out?"
Emily removed the shoes and put them on next to his coat suit and shirt.
"And now, how about the pants?" Hotch asked, looking at her with complete and total lust.
"Patient my pet" Emily said biting his bottom lip and kissing it.
Emily lowered Hotch's pants, whispering in his ear"Close your eyes."
Hotch sighed and closed his eyes as Emily while removing his pants trailed kisses down his chest.
Emily could hear the sighs of pleasure escape his lips and she removed his pants.
Emily said "No peeking, or you'll get punished."
Hotch nodded and had a smile on his face.
Emily took Hotch's pants placing them next to the rest of his clothes, she put her coat back on and went over to Hotch and kissed him on the lips.
"See later, sucker." Emily whispered in his ear.
Emily watched his eyes open in shock.
"Emily?" Hotch said in pain and surprise.
Emily waved the handcuff keys as she went over picking up his clothes.
"What are you doing?" Hotch asked.
"Payback is a bitch." Emily smirked.
"You can't just take my clothes and leave me like this." Hotch said getting angry.
"Well, you started this by getting me wet..." Emily said then winced at her words "That didn't come out right."
"Emily..." Hotch said warningly "Give me back my clothes."
"Hey, you're lucky I'm letting you keep your underwear, seems JJ and Garcia thought you didn't deserve that much." Emily said cheeky.
Hotch struggled against the handcuffs and said "Give me the damn key."
Walking over to Hotch's desk she picked up and tossed over his cellphone to him, "Here's another favor for you."
He stared at her in stunned shock, as the brunette pulled out a thumb tack placing it in his wall placing the handcuff keys on it.
She turned around giving him a glare "You're lucky I don't hold a grudge or your naked butt would wind up on the internet."
Gathering up his clothes, she opened the office door and spun around "See you later Hot Stuff."
She slammed the door behind her grinning, 'That'll teach ya.'
Hotch let out a stream of cuss words and got the cellphone and dialed Dave.
Dave knocked on the door "Aaron?"
"In here." Hotch said.
Dave opened the door and saw Hotch after laughing he said "I told you not to mess with Emily."
Hotch huffed out a sigh and said "A little help here?"
Dave looked like he was contemplating it and then said "If I have to."
"Where are the keys?" Dave asked.
"Hanging on that wall." Hotch said "Hurry my hands are going numb."
Dave uncuffed Hotch and said "That's the extent of my help, I don't want to end up on her list."
Dave watched Hotch go for a change of clothes in his go-bag.
"So, what are you going to do now?" Dave asked almost afraid to ask.
"She left me high and dry handcuffed in my office." Hotch said dressing "What do you think I'm going to do?"
"Marry her." Dave said "She's still alot saner than any of my three ex wives."
Hotch gave Dave a look "Yeah well you're current wife told her it would been better if she left me in here all the way nude."
Dave doubled over laughing "That's my Jen."
Hotch gave him a glare and said "So not the point."
"Well what the hell did you do to piss her off?" Dave asked.
"Threw water over her hair and clothes." Hotch said not looking at him.
"You threw water on Emily?" Dave asked shocked "Why?"
"Because I didn't want to hear about her going on her date." Hotch said annoyed. "Doesn't mean I deserved this."
"You do know that she went and wore her new outfit and had her hair done while at lunch right?" Dave said.
Hotch shook his head than said "Alright I did know."
"That date she was talking about?" Dave said "Was as a favor for a children's hospital. Her mother ordered her to bring a date, and the date she really wanted, she was afraid he'd turn her down."
"Who'd be stupid to turn her down?" Hotch said putting his coat on ready to go after her.
"You" Dave said leaving Hotch's office "Idiot."
Hotch felt like an idiot and he still was angry from her little tease head over to her apartment, when he saw she was no where in the BAU.
Emily fell back against her apartment door, laughing the bag of clothes still in her hands.
'Serves him right' Emily thought looking at his clothes in her hand.
Emily dropped the clothes into a plastic bag vowing to return them tomorrow.
Emily thought back on the look on his face when she surprised him earlier at the men's bathroom.
'So he does like me, like that' Emily thought 'Hmm...'
Walking with her own ruined clothes Emily headed upstairs to change into some sweat pants and tank top.
After dropping the sexy lingerie on the floor she heard her front door being pounded on.
Emily looked over at the clock 'Wow, guess he must of got freed quickly.'
Opening the front door Emily was greeted by Hotch's lips.
After pulling away from Hotch, Emily said "What the hell was that for?"
"Just picking up where you left off." Hotch said "In my office."
"So..." Emily said "You here to prank me back?"
Hotch shook his head and said "Dave told me that date was a social obligation to your mother."
"So that's why you threw water on me?" Emily asked suspiciously.
"Well that and I wanted to see you wet." Hotch said smirking when she raised her eyebrow.
"And I take it that you meant that the way you said it." Emily said.
Hotch smirked and said "No more pranks."
"No more pranks." Emily agreed and said "So..."
"So..." Hotch repeated and grabbed her and said "How about that sexy lingerie?"
Emily chuckled and led Hotch to her bedroom.
Emily kissed him throwing him on her bed and getting on him.
"I got a surprise for you." Emily whispered licking Hotch's neck.
"No handcuffs." Hotch ordered.
"No, baby no handcuffs." Emily said kissing him "Just wanted to tell you, I'm yours."
Hotch smiled at that and flipped them so he was on top of her.
"I'm yours too." Hotch said kissing her.
"So Jen." Dave said "What did you do?"
"Helped Emily bag her man." JJ said "Oh and let her borrow the black lingerie that drives you crazy."
"She wore that in front of Hotch?" Dave asked shocked "No wonder he got out of here like a bat out of hell."
JJ sighed and said "The things we do for our friends."
"Yep." Dave said smiling down at his blonde cohort.
"So, you got those handcuffs right?" JJ said smiling up at him mischievously.
Dave chuckled and said "No, babe. I don't think my heart could take it."
JJ laughed and said "Spoil sport."
Robert Frost said "Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me."
To Be Continued...
Another oneshot, not set in this reality will be up soon.
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