Retaliate

Disclaimer: Wish I could say that Criminal Minds was mine but it's not, its CBS.

Summary: Hotch and Emily prank each other back and forth with the help of Morgan and Garcia.

A/N: Sorry it took a while to put up a new one in the Retaliate series, so here it goes... Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.


George Eliot said, "A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections."


Hotch walked into the bullpen from his meeting with Strauss, deep in thought from the little prank war that had been going on between Emily and himself.

Hotch felt himself being tapped on the shoulder and saw Morgan nod his head towards the break room.

Following behind the dark agent, Hotch saw Emily and Garcia in deep conversation, both men listening but out of their line of sight.

"So you're sure this will work?" Emily asked her blonde friend, looking at the object in her hand.

"Trust me, Gumdrop" Garcia said taking the object placing it in her bag "I know a thing or two about successful pranks."

"Ok" Emily said "So it's done?"

"Yes-a-toodily" Garcia said grinning "It was done while he was out."

Both men see Emily look at her watch "Time to get back to work. He'll be out of the meeting soon."

Garcia giggled "Can't wait to hear his reaction to the prank."

"Don't want to be a fly on that wall" Emily added both women getting up to vacate the break room.

Hotch and Morgan went around the corner and hid from their sight, watching both women go to their assigned areas.

"What's the latest prank they pulled this time?" Hotch asked his team member.

"I have no clue" Morgan said "But it's obvious that it's directed to something in your office."

"Well I've got to come up with a better one" Hotch thought tapping his chin "You got anything?"

Morgan looked deep in thought than smirked "Oh I got a great one."

Hotch leaned in and smirked at that "You'll help me with that?"

"Sure" Morgan said "But you'll have to get her out of the bullpen."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Hotch told the younger man, "Strauss wanted to speak to her about her a old case file."

"Ok" Morgan said "I'll get it ready once she's gone."

Hotch and Morgan separated walking towards the bullpen, both deep in thought.

"Prentiss" Hotch said walking pass her "My office please."

Emily looked up, eyes glancing at his office then said, "Yes, sir."

Emily followed Hotch into his office, taking a seat in the visitors' chair, waiting for it.

Hotch sat down in his chair and looked at her, face masking his emotion, his mind profiling her demeanor.

"Strauss wants to speak to you" Hotch told her watching her eyes flicker for a moment and felt bad about that "Just a standard issue regarding an old case file."

Biting her lip, Emily nodded,"Ok."

Hotch added "Can you take the Lewis file to her? It'll save me a trip."

"Sure thing" Emily said getting up waiting for the file.

Hotch leaned down putting his hand on the handle of desk pulling on it. Emily smirked watching him pull harder on it to no avail.

Emily held back the chuckle she wanted to let out, and said, "Problem sir?"

Hotch heard the teasing in her voice quickly looking up, his eyes narrowing "Another prank?"

Emily shrugged her shoulder as he pulled harder on the drawer when the drawer finally opened all the contents fell directly on the floor. Hotch noticed the drawer was in upside down.

Hotch looked back up at his brunette agent who's only facial expression was a twinkle in her eye.

"Damn it, Prentiss." Hotch groaned out.

"Look inside at the hole inside the desk." Emily said.

Hotch leaned over, looking inside his desk drawer's hole and saw the Lewis file taped to the roof of the drawer.

"Sneaky." Hotch said "You know I will get you for that."

"Sure" Emily said mockingly taking the file from him, heading out the door "You keep telling yourself that."

Hotch shook his head and a small smirk graced his lips 'Oh it's on.'


Emily walked back from her meeting with Strauss and felt like dipping herself to acid.

She saw that Reid and Morgan were busy working away on their case files and briefly saw Dave up in Hotch's office talking.

"Hey Princess" Morgan said taking in the brunette's return "How was the meeting with Ice Queen?"

"I don't know" Emily said sitting at her desk "I'll let you know when my brain starts functioning again."

Morgan chuckled, looking at her as the phone on her desk started ringing.

"Probably the Ice Queen herself" Emily muttered going for the phone.

When Emily touched the phone she felt it. That sticky slime of goo that made her recoil as she felt the wetness on her hand.

"What the hell?" Emily called trying to put the phone down only to see it stick to her hand "Hey!"

Dave and Hotch's head peered down at the commotion in the bullpen, while JJ came out of her office.

"What?" JJ asked coming over towards her.

"What the..." Dave said walking down the catwalk behind a smirking Hotch.

"You!" Emily accused the team leader "You put super glue on my phone."

Hotch shrugged his shoulder watching the angry brunette try and throw the phone at him only to see her fingers wrapped around it.

"You suck." JJ said turning her attention to her dark haired male friend.

"She started it." Hotch protested.

"What are you five?" JJ asked "Hers didn't include body parts."

Dave turned his attention from his angry daughter figure trying to pry the phone out of her hand to his longtime friend grinning like a fool.

He watched Reid going over to try and help Emily while asking JJ for nail polish remover, his eyes traced over to Morgan who tried to hide the guilt in his expression.

"You had a hand in this" Dave commented without asking,

The brunette's eyes locked onto Morgan's hurt and anger in her eyes staring at her friend.

"Garcia's going to kill you..." JJ warned in a singsong voice.

"God, you both suck" Emily said, wincing "My hand is starting to cramp up."

The Unit Chief's eyes locked on to JJ's, the guilt hit him full force.

Garcia rushed through the bullpen "Gumdrop, I checked the main frame and your files..."

The blonde analyst eyed the situation, frowning as she looked at her friend's expression then Emily's hand. Looking over at Morgan who buried his head in paperwork while Hotch held remorse in his eyes.

"Gumdrop?" Garcia asked "What happened to your hand?"

"Idiot over there's retaliation prank included putting super glue on my phone" Emily said shooting Hotch a look.

Garcia's eyes widened and looked over at her boss "Super glue?"

"Seemed like an idea at the time" Hotch muttered "Thanks a lot, Morgan."

Morgan's head shot up and Garcia shot him a glare that rivaled Hotch's.

"Baby Girl..." Morgan said pleading "It was a joke..."

Garcia dragged Morgan down the hallway muttering "You owe me a big favor..."

"There we go" Reid said helping Emily open her hand "How does it feel?"

"Hurts" Emily told him, watching Reid open her drawer for the first aid kit "Damn it. The skin's all red and peely."

"Come on, we need to get this washed out with soap and water" Reid said taking her by the elbow leading her towards the bathroom.

Hotch watched in regret as Emily left with Reid to get treated.

"Real mature, Hotch" JJ said following her friends to the ladies room.

"You're like a twelve year old with a crush" Dave said walking up the catwalk "Would've been safer to pull her hair and steal her lunch money."

Hotch walked up to his office thinking to himself 'Idiot.'


Emily held her ace bandage wrapped hand close to her chest, as she walked down the hallway to head towards Garcia's office.

'What could be so important now?' Emily thought to herself sighing.

Hotch walked down the hallway as he was asked, or more like ordered by the blonde analyst to make an appearance in her office.

Knowing it would be unwise not to follow orders, because he didn't even know what Garcia did to Morgan and he refuses to look Hotch in the eye.

Knocking on the office door, Hotch was surprised to see Emily answer the door.

"What are you doing here?" Emily asked backing up to see Hotch approach her.

"Garcia..." Hotch said "She ordered me down here... Where is she?"

Emily wasn't given time to respond when they heard the door to Garcia's office slam shut and the two looked from each other to the door in surprise.

"What the..." Emily said going for the door, now realizing it's locked from the outside she used her uninjured hand to bang on it "Open this damn door."

"Not until you two make up" Garcia told the two through the door "Now kiss and make up."

"What?" Hotch asked shocked "Open up or you're fired."

"You'd never fire me" Garcia replied back cheeky "Even if I became an unsub you'd still keep me around."

"We'll see who becomes an unsub" Emily muttered glaring at the door than Hotch.

"I can't hear you..." Garcia sang out, walking away from the door "Now make up."

Emily walked over to the computer chair, fiddling with the computer only to see they were password protected.

"Crap" Emily grumbled, "Can't get online to email for help."

Hotch sat in the computer chair next to her, "Sorry about gluing your phone... hand."

"Yeah whatever" Emily muttered, keeping her focuse on the decorative wall.

"Hey, I am sorry" Hotch told her, turning her attention on him "We're still friends right?"

"Sure" Emily said swiveling around to face the computers "All's forgiven."

"I don't even know how this prank war started anyways..." Hotch said "Morgan and Garcia... Us..."

Emily's head snapped in his direction "What?"

"What?" Hotch repeated in confusion "Morgan and Garcia, us?"

"Those sons of a..." Emily said "They did all this."

She watched his face etch in confusion she continued "Prank wars escalating. It was Morgan's idea to super glue my phone?"

Hotch nodded, "And Garcia's to put Vaseline on my steering wheel, flip my desk drawer down?"

Emily sighed, "Now here we are being told to kiss and make up..."

Hotch looked up at the ceiling "You don't think they intended for you to get hurt do you?"

"They're crazy and playful but not mean spirited or vicious" Emily said resting her chin on the palm of her hand.

"So..." Hotch said "Kiss and make up? Do you want to?"

"Make up?" Emily asked "Sure. You're forgiven but my hand will require vanilla shakes for a week."

Hotch raised an eyebrow but conceded "All right."

Emily looked over at the door, "So when do you think we'll actually be freed..."

He kept his eyes trained on her, watching the way her lips pouted, as she rubbed her injured hand. He couldn't deny that she was beautiful or how adorable as she blew the hair out of her face.


Hotch leaned in, kissing Emily on the lips, feeling her respond to it.

Pulling back she said "What was that for?"

"Well we made up and I thought we should do the kiss part too." Hotch said "Besides it's not like anyone would know... I wanted to do it."

Emily raised an eyebrow and said "Ah what the hell..."

Hotch pulled her out of the seat, lifting her on his lap, pulling in for a deep kiss.

Both panting, deepening the kiss only stopping when the sound of keys clicking the locked door.

Emily got off of Hotch's lap and returned to her own chair both trying to catch their breath.

"Did you two kiss and make up?" Garcia asked, Morgan being visible behind her.

"Sure did" Emily said feeling the urge to hold back the smirk.

Garcia looked from Hotch to Emily and nodded her head "You're free to go."

Hotch and Emily walked out of the office, both keeping the features neutral.

"Want to come over to my place?" Hotch asked once they were out of the line of sight of their friends.

"No" Emily said looking at him seeing his face fall, she smirked "My place is closer."

Hotch grabbed Emily and pulled her into a quick kiss.

"Come on." Emily said "We need to get out of here now, before I do something naughty to you here and we end up in a Sexual Harassment seminar."

Hotch looked over at her and flashed a dimple "Then at least we'd see Morgan and Garcia there."

Both laughed heading off to get there belongings to leave.

Walking in the elevator, Hotch asked "Anymore pranks up your sleeves?"

"Maybe" Emily teasingly replied, "But they'll be ones you actually might enjoy."

Hotch chuckled, pulling on the brunette's arm bringing her closer to him with a smirk on his face.

"I hope they don't include bodily injury" he told her, watching her face smirk in a mischievous grin.


Marilyn Monroe said, "I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."


To Be Continued...

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Hope you all like the Retaliate series... the next one should be coming soon.