A/N: I am not super happy with this, hopefully I'll get my mojo back.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own SGA You can bet the farm that if I did the show would still be on.
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Carson and the rest of Rodney's team were by his side in seconds. The heart monitor squealed ominously and the line on the screen remained horrifyingly flat. Carla came running in with a crash cart.
Things were moving quickly, but to John Sheppard he was stuck in a time dilation field, one where each second is agonizingly slow. His heart was pounding as he stared in confusion at the frantic activity around Rodney. The whole event was surreal, he had seen Rodney close to death before, but there was something different about this time. There was a terrifying finality hanging in the air. John was sure it harkened back to his mother's leukemia and subsequent death. A death he had the great misfortune to watch, as it came in increments, culminating in a scene far too close to this one for his ability to cope. He was losing his family again, to the insidious, silent, predator, cancer. It was too much, he wanted to run away, and yet was compelled by his loyalty to stay by Rodney's side. Fortunately, Carson gave him the permission he needed as he hollered at them.
"Get back! You're in the way."
The trio shuffled to the other side of the room, and stood back watching the wild dance of the medical team fighting to stabilize their friend. The team was lost in the sheer shock of it. At least with injuries you knew why, you saw your friend fighting a foe. But this? This was so unfair, it left them feeling a level of helplessness that they could not overcome.
It was all too overwhelming for Ronon and he turned his head away as they jolted Rodney's body a second time. Teyla was gripping John's hand as much to steady him as herself. She felt his legs trembling with the effort to stand, she knew he hadn't eaten or drunk anything in several hours, and also was sure he hadn't been sleeping. Teyla feared this combined with the stress of watching Rodney on the brink of death, that he would collapse.
"John you must sit down." Teyla whispered.
He nodded distractedly barely noticing when Ronon placed a chair under him and pushed him into it. He could not tear his eyes away from the staff valiantly continuing their quest to save his best friend. It was getting harder to believe they would be able to turn things around.
"How long?"
They heard Carson shout, and John's head reeled at the answer.
"We're at the four minute mark." Carla said.
Carson looked grim faced as he sought John's eyes. His eyes said we should give up. John was out of the chair and across the room in a blink of an eye.
"Don't you dare quit! Do you hear me Carson? You better not give up on him! Not yet!"
Carson looked at him his eyes glistening and just nodded.
"Alright we'll give him one more shock at 360."
Carla stopped compressions as the other nurse handed the charged paddles to Carson.
"Clear!"
Rodney's body contracted up off the table, there was the sickening smell of his burning flesh.
"Asystole…" Carson was dejected and on the verge of his sorrow consuming him. He couldn't bear to look at John or anyone. The alarm was muted and the room silent. No one spoke; it was a sacred moment of unfathomable grief.
"Carson, I believe his heart is beating!" Teyla's normally calm voice broke through with a joyful excitement.
"Oh thank God, I knew you could do it Rodney." The relief in the doctor's voice was palpable.
"It's a good normal sinus rhythm." Carla beamed through teary eyes.
Ronon sat down in the chair John had vacated, and sighed in relief. He'd been holding his breath.
Teyla was already at Rodney's side holding his hand.
John was just standing there, frozen.
"Colonel Sheppard? Are you alright?" Carla asked with concern.
He gave an imperceptible nod, looked at Carson who was on his way over, and promptly hit the floor. He landed with a smack, his head hitting the floor with a sickening thud.
"Bloody hell...Colonel!"
Carson kneeled down, and checked him over. His hand came away from John's head covered in his blood. He whipped out his penlight and checked Sheppard's pupils, both were sluggish, the left pupil larger and slower than the right.
Without a word Ronon picked Sheppard up and laid him on the nearest bed.
No one noticed the figure standing in the doorway, the face pale and mouth agape in horror. She arrived just as Carson was about to give up on Rodney. The sight of the man she loved swallowed by machinery, his bare chest covered with the rectangular burns of the defibrillator left her unable to move. It had to be a nightmare.
When they moved John to the bed, Teyla looked up and saw Jennifer's stricken face. As soon as John was settled, she ran to her friend and pulled the young woman into her arms.
"Shhh, it will be alright. He will be alright." Teyla hugged her fiercely for a moment.
Still mute with disbelief Jennifer felt Teyla pull her across the room to Rodney's side, and placed her trembling hand upon her fiancée's arm.
"Carson, when you are finished, please talk with Jennifer."
Teyla's voice drifted over to him. The gentle request took a moment to sink in, the day was full of loud drama and his ears were unaccustomed to such soft-spoken words. When it registered, he was by his fellow doctor's side immediately.
"Carla clean up the Colonel's head wound, and take him for a CT. I need to talk to Dr. Keller."
"Carson—what ?" Jennifer's eyes were wide with fear.
Carson took her hand and tugged her along with him. She resisted, but the Scotsman won.
"Let's go to your office, we need to talk. I promise you can go right back when we're done."
She tried to grab Rodney's chart as they passed by, but Carson stopped her.
"No lass, now's not the time."
His sad tone made Jennifer's knees weak. She suddenly didn't want to know, and she sure as hell didn't want to go to her office. Whatever Carson had to say was big; it had the power to divide her life into the time before she knew, and the time after she knew. She wanted to stay on the before side of the line, for as long as possible.
Carson guided her to the couch and said, "Excuse me a moment love."
He reached up to his com and pushed the button.
"Amelia, this is Dr. Beckett I need you to find Dr. Biro and two more nursing staff. Have them come in. We need the hands."
Satisfied, he exhaled and sat down next to Jennifer and took her hand in his.
"Jennifer, I know this will be hard for you, as a physician you know how serious certain diseases are. But I want you to promise me now, before I tell you what is going on, that you will not give up hope."
Oh God… I don't want to know. We are supposed to be married, supposed to be beginning a life together… Whatever he's about to say is going to ruin everything. I just know it. Maybe if he doesn't say it, it won't be true… I can't lose you Rodney.
Carson could see the terror in her eyes, and the war raging within her. Jennifer's hands were trembling, but with a strength she didn't know she had, he heard her say quietly
"Tell me now Carson, I need to get this part over with."
He sighed and patted her hand, "Now we don't have a full confirmation yet, we still need to do a bone marrow biopsy—"
Her heart sank and she gasped, "Oh my God. He has cancer? Lymphoma or Leukemia?"
She put on her mental lab coat, and tried to separate herself from the raging tidal wave of sorrow that threatened to engulf her.
Carson could see her steel herself and put on a clinical mask. Good for you Jennifer, be strong for Rodney. We'll get you both through this, I swear.
"I'm leaning towards Leukemia, his platelets are in the basement, and his white count is off the charts because of an infection. We're treating that first, the cultures should be ready in a few hours, but in the meantime we have him on some broad spectrum IV antibiotics. His lungs seem to be the source of the infection, some form of pneumonia. We have him on the vent, to keep his lungs inflated and because his breathing was erratic. Unfortunately, he has had two episodes requiring us to do CPR and use the defibrillator. The cause of this is most likely hypovolemic shock, he's been bleeding from his nose for days apparently, never said anything of course. However, today it was out of control, we had a hell of a time stopping it…"
Jennifer sat through the barrage quietly and waited a moment before she spoke.
Carson gave her the time she needed.
"How? How did we not see this sooner? I just did a scan on him two months ago. He has been very tired lately…"
"Of course he's tired the man never sleeps."
"That's just it; he has been sleeping, more than he ever has. I thought it was because he was happy. What an idiot I am…"
" Don't do that to yourself Jennifer… I think we missed minute changes in his CBC, and he's been stuck working on the ZPM problem so he hasn't been off world for several weeks, that kept him from being scanned."
"Still…It doesn't make sense." They both ignored the double entendre.
"Aye, I know. Something about this seems off."
Jennifer managed a tight smile and said, "Well it's a good thing we have the best geneticist in two galaxies to help us figure it out."
Carson ignored her false bravado, remained serious, and pulled her chin up to look at him.
"I won't give up until I solve this, I promise. He's too important to all of us."
Her eyes filled with the tears she'd been choking back,and turned her face away from his sincere gaze.
"How's Colonel Sheppard? He didn't look so good."
"He'll be okay…physically. He hasn't eaten in over a day and was already dehydrated when they came in. I think the shock of seeing … Well, he hit his head when he passed out. But, I think he's only got a minor concussion, so I'll keep him for awhile."
"He was here the whole time wasn't he?"
"Yeah, he was."
"This is where he'll be anyway; it's the best place for him." Jennifer replied.
They sat saying nothing. Waiting for the moment when she was ready go to Rodney, ready to begin the trial that lay ahead of them, ready to fight for their life together.
