Jane: Weeeeeeeee! Chapter five, yay!
Kid: I. Hate. You.
Jane: Why?
Kid: Because of what you did to Patty! That really was unnecessary!
Jane: Or was it?
Kid: ...Yes! It was!
Jane: Oh ho, but it was quite necessary. Besides, you're gonna love what happens next.
Kid: What is it?
Jane: I can't tell you! I don't even own you!
Chapter 5
Kid woke up feeling depressed. Even more so than when symmetry was off. He still couldn't believe what Patty had said to him. It crushed him. He was even more crushed when Liz posted the events on Facebook and got tons of comments, mocking him. He sighed loudly to himself. Should I even care about symmetry anymore? What's the point? He rolled over to stretch out his arms, and was surprised to feel something laying next to him in his bed. The shape under the blanket rose and fell as if it were breathing. Kid pulled the covers off of the shape, and immediately began to feel his nose drip with blood.
Lying next to Kid, dressed in nothing but her black, lacy bra and panties, was Patty. Her make-up was smudged and her hair was messy, but Kid thought she looked beautiful. She stirred in her sleep and ended up pressing closer to Kid. His face flushed bright red and his pants got tighter. Her breasts pressed up against his chest in a way that made him feel extremely happy, yet strangely uncomfortable at the same time. His breathing became shallow, and he tried to back up away from her. Luckily she rolled over to her other side, and Kid was free of Patty's contact. His relief was only temporary, for as she rolled over, she murmured a name that brought up feelings of hatred from Kid's very soul.
"Mmmm, Black*Star-koi." Kid felt like he would throw up. Black*Star? She actually liked Black*Star? That smug bastard! Kid pulled himself out of bed and went to bang on Liz's door. Which was a bad idea, since it was only 5:27 in the morning.
"Kid! What the hell do you want? I already posted what happened, people know. You can't take it off now!"
Kid let himself in and sat on the edge of Liz's bed. He was pouting, and he had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, much like a child would. Liz rolled her tired eyes and sat down next to him.
"What's got you're asymmetrical man panties in a bunch now?" Kid glared at her for a second, but he sighed and relaxed his shoulders.
"It's your sister. What the hell has gotten in to her lately? All of a sudden, she starts acting like a lunatic; dressing asymmetrically on purpose, staying out until three in the morning, talking about Black*Star."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. When did Patty tell you about the crush she had on Black*Star?"
"She had a crush? All I know is I woke up with Patty in my bed and -"
"What the hell, Kid! How perverted can you get?" Kid shook his head quickly.
"No, no, it's not what you think. She must've been drunk and thought it was her bed. I saw her when I woke up." Liz sighed in relief. Although she could be pretty loose, she never wanted Patty doing anything bad.
"Okay then. Well, you know how Patty's obsessed with giraffes?" Kid nodded slowly.
"Well, she gets frustrated if she can't draw them right. Once, when we were little, her favorite flowers were roses. Every time we slept on a bench in Central Park, she would steal several bouquets from flower stands, and she would surround us with them." Kid nodded for her to go on.
"Well, she would draw a giraffe, but it wouldn't come out right. It would be red with thorns all along the neck. She decided she was going to hate roses so she could go back to drawing normal giraffes." Kid sat up straighter at this revelation.
"So, she started hating me, because she liked me so much she couldn't draw giraffes?" Liz shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess. But if she's been talking about Black*Star in her sleep, she's probably falling for him instead." Kid jumped off of Liz's bed and ran into his room where Patty was still dreaming peacefully.
He kneeled next to her and shook her awake.
"Ugh, Kid, what are you doing?" She glared at him; obviously annoyed. Kid looked at her, desperation in his eyes.
"You can still draw giraffes! You don't have to hate me, or roses, or anything! You can still draw giraffes!" Patty stared at him, her annoyed expression gone, replaced with shock.
"What did you say?"
"You can still draw them, with yellow skin and brown spots!" Patty sighed sadly.
"Kid, you think I want to hate roses, or you? If there was any possible way for me to draw normal giraffes, and still love something else, I would. But since there isn't I can't like you, roses, or anything else." Kid shook his head, almost excitedly.
"Patty, if you can help me get over my symmetry, I can help you get over this. I'll help you learn how to draw giraffes!" Patty's eyes sparkled with a child like excitement. When she spoke, she spoke in her usual silly, yet endearing voice.
"You can? Yay! Thanks, Kiddo! Come, on let's go draw giraffes!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him off into her room.
Black*Star POV
Black*Star woke up with a killer hang-over. He looked around the room he and Tsubaki shared in their tiny apartment. Tsubaki and Kim were passed out on the floor, half-empty bottles of vodka in their hands. Soul and Maka were weakly making out on the couch. He wondered how long they'd been going at it.
He got up off the cold hard wood floor, and dragged his feet into the bathroom to wash his face. He was surprised to see lipstick stains covering his well tanned face. His hair had traces of orange dye in it, and a cell phone number was written in black Sharpie on his forearm. Underneath the digits written cute, loopy writing was one word.
Patty
Black*Star smirked, feeling very happy and confident. I might just need to make a call.
Jane: ** whispering ** SHHHHHHH! Thanks for reading you guys! Don't give anything about that POV you read away; Kid doesn't know and Patty can't remember. Okay, okay, here they come. Act cool.
Kid: Hello Jane.
Patty: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
Jane: Hi Kid. Hey Patty, you seem in a good mood! So, uh, what's up? ** shifty eyes **
Kid: Nothing, we just came to do the ending commentary with you, like always.
Patty: Yup!
Jane: Oh, cool. Well, thanks for reading everybody, review, tell your friends, bye, see you next chapter!
Kid: Wait, shouldn't we do something, you know, funny?
Jane: Nope. No we should not.
Kid: Hmm. Okay then.
Patty: BYE PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW! THANKS FOR RANDOMLY READING ABOUT CONFFUSING TIMES IN MY LIFE!
