Going Through More Than The Motions
The door opened for her when she got there. It was something she had to think about more than once. The door. It opened for her. As soon as she had gotten there. There was no waiting, there was no going to the back door, there was no having to go in through the window, there was no waiting on the doorstep until being turned away. There was no five minute stay. Natalia ran up to the door, it opened, and she ran in to see Heidi walking down the stairs.
Sinking down to her knees, she cried.
"Natalia? Oh, Natalia! Don't cry, don't cry!" She felt her head be pulled into an embrace, pressed up against Heidi's front as the other's small hands ran through her hair. "What happened, what's wrong?"
It took her a while to be able to respond, but when she did it was through ragged breaths. "I yelled at brother..." she sniffed, trying to keep her hands from shaking by gripping the front of her dress. "I... I told him... I said... I said what I wanted to say. But it wasn't the way I wanted to say it.. I don't think... I don't think..."
"Shh! It is all right. Come, let's sit down. I'll make some tea."
"I'll make it!" exclaimed the house.
"Thank you, iMarcus. Over here, Natalia... we'll sit here."
Natalia stayed quiet, allowing Heidi to pull her along and seat her on the couch. She was now holding a handkerchief, though she was not certain when she was given it. Wiping her cheeks off with a corner of the material, Natalia stared down at her feet and pulled her heels together, remembering that story Alfred had mentioned once. I want to go home.
But for the life of her, Natalia could not think of what she meant by home.
"Do you want some brownies? I still have some of the ones we made yesterday," Heidi was saying softly. Natalia nodded and Heidi quickly made her way to the kitchen. She was wanted here. It was strange. She heard footsteps coming down the stairs and looking over she saw Vash. He nodded at her curtly before walking away. She nodded back.
Okay, she was welcome for the most part. She was used to that, it seemed more natural.
When Heidi returned, Natalia had kicked off her shoes and drawn up her feet on to the couch. Heidi sat down next to her, offering her tea and the brownies. Natalia took a cup and a brownie, nibbling away at it.
The both of them stayed quiet for a while, a silence that Natalia was grateful for. "Are you all right?" Heidi finally asked and Natalia nodded. Heidi smiled. Natalia found that she could not meet the other woman's eyes.
"Can we talk about what we were talking about yesterday?"
"Which part?" Heidi questioned as Natalia fiddled with her dress.
"About how... how I should talk with Katyusha," Natalia murmured, unable to raise her voice anymore. She felt loud here, she felt out of place. Out of place in one of the few places that had ever just been open to her. She was afraid that one false move, sound, would loose her this. She was not certain why.
"Of course!" Heidi set down her tea on the table ahead, turning so that she was facing Natalia. "When were you thinking you might go see her?"
Natalia shrugged. Was it not too soon to think about things like that? She was still trying to think of Katyusha as Heidi had suggested, as Eduard had explained her, and not as someone who had taken Ivan from her. Katyusha knew how to be a good sister to Ivan, somehow. Natalia wondered what she had missed so that she could not do the same.
But no. She was past that, she was over Ivan.
"I think you should do it soon," Heidi went on, thoughtfully, as she moved a brownie around on the plate with one of her fingers. "After all, all you gain in waiting is making yourself more nervous. Anyway, I believe she will see you and understand... right?"
She really was not certain, but right now she was willing to defer to Heidi. Heidi knew what she was doing, Heidi was on such good terms with her own sibling... and Natalia was certain she had just come up with the best way of treating Katyusha.
"Right."
Katyusha knew how to treat Ivan. She would treat Katyusha like that. She would act like Kat. That would work.
With a small smile on her lips, Natalia drank her tea.
Notes:
I received a review in the last chapter, informing me Hanatamago was a girl. So, of course, I berated myself as an idiot and went looking up the strips with Hanatamago in them so as to clarify with myself. Is it just me? I cannot find anything specifying Hanatamgo as a girl. In the strip in which the dog shows up "he" is what is used in reference. Can someone illuminate for me when Hanatamgo was specified as a girl?
