Not mine. The only thing I own is the band name and Logan.
~Edward's POV~
"How are you feeling man?" Jasper asks as we sit on the couch of the main section of the bus. Logan was asleep on my lap, his pacifier in his mouth and his head resting on my shoulder, I bounced him softly and rubbed his back to keep him sleeping.
"Ok...everything still hurts but the medic said I'll be good to perform again for the next show tomorrow. Actually I was hoping...that maybe we could perform 'Remembering Sunday'." I suggest. Jasper nods.
"Sure but why?" He asks. I sigh and scratch my chin slightly noticing I need a shave. Normally Bella reminds me to but she hasn't talked to me in a week. She's been taking care of me but she refuses to talk to me. I really fucked up this time.
"It's kind of our make up song. I played it to her once when we got in a fight and it just sort of helps the mood. Please?" I beg. Jasper looks at me sympathetically and nods at me.
"It's alright dude we can do that. I'll tell the guys for you, but you should get Logan in your bunk so he can sleep properly. You know how mad Bella gets when you don't let him have his nap." He says with a small laugh. I laugh too slightly before picking him up carefully cradling him and heading towards my bunk. I push the curtain back and cover him with the blankets and I sigh as I look at the pictures of Bella and I hanging all over my bunk wall. Fuck. I kiss Logan's forehead before quietly shutting the curtain and when I turned around I saw Bella. She had been coming out of the back room and her and I stared wide eyed at each other speechless. Her smile was gone and her bright eyes didn't have that usual light to them and it made me sad knowing I caused it. She bit her bottom lip and I scratched the back of my neck uncomfortably.
"H-Hey Bella how's i-it going?" I stutter sounding like a complete fool. She gives me a once over look and then stares down at her feet nibbling on her bottom lip playing with her fingers.
"I um...I'm fine. H-How are you doing?" Bella whispers. I step forward and put my hands gently on her shoulders, she tensed up instantly and looked away from me. I gently cupped her chin in my hand and turned her to look at me. Her eyes were welled with tears and I felt a lump in my throat form. Why is my beautiful angel so sad? I'll tell you why. Because I'm a complete asshole and accused her of something that I know she would never do, especially to me because she knows how it feels and because she knows what it did to me and what I went through.
"Edward don't..." She warns me with a sort of stern tone but I could hear the sadness in it. She was breaking and breaking badly.
"Bella please I miss you I need you just-" She cuts me off by pushing me away from her harshly my back coming in contact with the bunks.
"No Edward not this time...I've given you too many chances, you've hurt me for the last fucking time. Go fucking rot in hell." She sneers and leaves me standing alone feeling even worse and more depressed then before. I know she's more hurt than angry but she's trying to cover it up by insulting me. It won't work, I can see right through her little act and I'm going to prove her wrong...no matter what the cost.
~
I stare at the crowd trying to spot Bella. She wasn't there, of course she's avoiding me by staying at the merch booth. I sigh heavily before Emmett pats me on the shoulder and whispers in my ear "Tonight's the night. Things will go according to plan, fate is fate Edward." I nod feeling nerves bundle up in my stomach and I shake off the feeling but it just returns as quickly as it arrives. The show went fairly well. I felt a little distracted but I did everything I could to not show the fans how I'm truly feeling and put a false mood on for them. They fell for it. I was happy and jumping around and doing everything I could to act like the old me. It was hard to say none the less.
"Alright everyone the last song for tonight is quite familiar to all of you," I pause grabbing my acoustic guitar strapping it on and sitting on a nearby stool, "and it's my greatest pleasure to be performing it all for you tonight. I want to dedicate it to the best person I know. She's wonderful and beautiful and totally out of control and she drives my emotions insane but I love her more than anything. Bella this is for you baby, I'm sorry." I start the strumming of the guitar, Emmett joining in.
"He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Started making his way past 2 in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs"
I couldn't spot Bella meaning she's probably shocked as hell meaning Alice is there to comfort her. I smile to myself and contrinue.
"Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask her to marry me"
The crowd had lighters and were swaying, it's one of our night time performances. I smile at them as I see them singing along with me.
"Even though she doesn't believe in love,
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut
Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask her to marry me
The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be"
I didn't have a girl to do the part and Bella hadn't come running to me so i glanced at Emmett giving him the signal to sing the part for me.
"I'm not coming back (forgive me)
I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling)
But you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, now the rain is just (You're driving me crazy, I'm)
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world,
From so many thousands of feet off the ground, I'm over you now
I'm at home in the clouds, and towering over your head"
He smiles at me and I smile back before turning towards the audience who were screaming getting to hear so much Emmett for once.
"Well I guess I'll go home now...
I guess I'll go home now...
I guess I'll go home now...
I guess I'll go home"
The crowd was going absolutely insane and we all do a bow before I say into the mic "You guys are amazing thank you so much for seeing us tonight! We fucking love you all!" We all run off stage and I hand my guitar off to my tech before running towards the merch booths. I spotted Alice with Logan but no Bella.
"Alice where's Bella!" I question rushed. She points towards the bus.
"She ran off crying, please go fix it." I nod before kissing Logan's head and running towards our bus in more of a hurry than before. The bus was thankfully not locked because I seriously had no time to fumble with the lock and my brain was too jumbled to even bother remembering the fucking code. I burst through the door and hear Bella sobbing in the back near the bunks and I run over to her.
"Bella!" I yell. Her head snaps up and she screams before standing up furiously rubbing at her eyes trying to hide her crying. It was too late to do that. I move towards her.
"Did you hear! Please tell me you hear our song. I did it for you. I need you to forgive me. I need you to listen to my explanation." I plead grabbing her face. She struggles against me trying to push me off by pounding her hands on my chest.
"Edward get the fuck off of me! Leave me alone! We're no more! get the fuck over it because I have!" Bella shouts and I shake my head not believing her one bit.
"I don't believe you." I reply darkly and she glares at me.
"Well believe it asshole because it's the fucking truth! Something you're obviously no prince charming at!" I feel her slap my face harshly but I just groan and face her again moving her backwards gripping her hands in mine tightly.
"You're going to fucking listen to me whether you want to or not." I state angrily and continue to push her protesting body backwards into the very back room. I shut the door with my foot locking it in the process and pushing her up against the opposite wall with my body her wrists going above her head on either side of her body.
"You're going to listen to me now because we belong together. We're meant to be, it's fate. Otherwise we would have never met. We would have never had Logan. You and I fit together like PB & J. Without the other, it's sort of missing the big picture." I say softly. Bella's eyes water again and her lip trembles and she sobs.
"Edward you hurt me so much..." She whispers her voice breaking as she looks down. I stare down at her grabbing her neck gently in my big hands and wip her falling tears with the pad of my thumbs.
"We hurt each other...all relationships have a bump in the road in our case we have several. Right now we're a flat tire that I'm trying to repair. Please Bella I need you so much...I can't live without you. being away from you like this has been so hard. Especially because I'm forced to see you and I can't do anything to make you better. I promised you I would never hurt you and that's all I do. You deserve better I understand that but you're who I love and who I want. I could never even look at another woman seriously without you popping into my mind. You're all I want." I explain. Her lips curl into a frown and she wipes at her eyes.
"I love you so much Edward...so much I just feel empty when you're not with me. My other half is gone. I feel everything you feel. When you're happy I'm happy. When you're sad I'm sad. When you're hurt I feel my absolute worse. We're that connected. But how can we be meant for each other if all we do is fuck around with each others feelings?" She inquires. I sigh heavily and shrug softly.
"I don't know baby but it's a sign saying that we can't be without each other. I feel at an all time low without you, I can't live I have no soul no spirit without you. You have my heart, when you're gone all I am is a robot. A lifeless being that does what it's supposed to but has no human emotion. I need you to survive." I feel my tears fall and Bella's soft, much smaller hands wipe at my tears carefully and she brings my face down to her shoulder hugging me tightly and letting me cry.
"Edward I miss you so much please can we not fight anymore?" She asks crying fully now. I sob harder and pull her as physically close as possible and nod furiously kissing her face repeatedly.
"I-I love you s-so much p-p-please take me back." I cry and Bella nods and kisses me softly and pulls away doing it repeatedly for another three times.
"I will. Please be my boyfriend again. Please be there to protect me and cuddle with me and make me feel good. Make me feel alive again Edward. I'm begging you." Bella replies anxiously.
"I will, I want you to be my girlfriend again. I'm never letting you go baby I promise I love you so God damn much." I pull her into a kiss my hands holding her face and her lips moving in sync with mine. Her hands tangled in my hair and I nibbled her bottom lip hearing her gasp and going for the goal, my tongue slithering in and caressing against her own warm silky one. Our tongues coiled and touched and she let me explore every inch and corner and crevice of her amazing mouth. She tasted like skittles, I know she eats candy like that when she's anxious or sad, it was both. I smile at that fact which causes her to smile and pull me even closer. The touch of tongues sent my body into a frenzy and sparks flew behind my closed eyes filling my black abyss with beautiful bright colors again. Giving me life again, though this kiss that's what she was doing. I pull away much to Bella's discontent and she moans as my warm lips touch her neck, kissing alone her warm skin, my tongue gliding out to have a taste of her amazing perfume.
"Oh God Edward..." She groans in my ear nibbling on it and I sigh happily that warm feeling filling my stomach up with butterflies and my body heat raising up just at the feeling of her breath hitting my skin. My hands run down her arms and grab at her hips massaging her stomach and I continue to kiss her neck moving up her face.
"I- kiss-love-kiss-you-kiss-so-kiss-much-kiss-I-kiss-just-kiss-can't-kiss-stop." I say in-between kisses and she giggles. I kiss under her chin, behind her ear, under her ear, her nose, her cheeks, between her eyes, her forehead and finally her lips. Her fingertips brush my jaw and her nose scrunches up.
"You need a shave babe." She states softly. I chuckle throwing my head back feeling content and keeping her close to me feeling her raise on her tip toes and kiss under my chin and on my Adam's apple.
"Just for you baby." I whisper and she buries her face in my chest as my arms wind around her shoulders her going around my waist. Yeah things are just right again...
