So, let me tell you the story of a girl who now owns a new red smartbook, but whose internet is down. It all starts when, one day, the girl finds out that her old (but not old really, only about three months old) black smartbook is frozen. So she turns it off and turns it back on. However, it won't move past the loading page. The girl tries and tries, but nothing will fix it. After telling her parents and calling the company, she takes it in for a new computer of the same type (and color) to replace it. She gets it and open the box, but it mysteriously doesn't have bubblewrap in-between it or a guard on the screen. She shrugs it off, too happy to pay too much attention to it. It is turned on (it also mysteriously already has a background), set up, and connected to her internet. The happy teen clicks on the beloved internet button.

... Nothing. It's frozen. She stares at the screen in despair and shock. Okay, so she breathes in, then hesitantly turns it off. And then on. Guess what? \i It's frozen at the loading screen. She has a breakdown (not really.. well, almost), takes it out into the living room and complains to her mother, then goes back to her bedroom and stuffs her head under a pillow, cursing the day that damn computers were invented.

The same night, she and her step-father go back to the same store, where luckily her step-father knows the manager. She manages to exchange it for another one (this time red~) and, hopeful it works, heads home. Miracles of miracles, it does! In the process of attempting to get to the inernet, though, her father remembers he needs to pay the damn bill. Whatever, she's simply estatic that the dang thing is working. So she plays solitare and then decides, \i Hm, maybe I'll try to work on the next chapter for Congratulations?

Only then does the teenager realize, with complete and absolute horror, there's no writing program. The one that was on her old one, KCE, isn't there. She panicks and looks through all the supid programs on there. Finally, under a file called office, our heroine finds the amazing, wonderful Word (though this Word has a few additions). She rejoices and begins to write her tale.

Yep, the girl is me. In a nutshell, my old computer broke, I exchanged it. The new one turned out to have been used and broken, so I got \i another \i0 new one, this being a bit different. My new writing program has italics, bold, and underline! :D And it's a prettyful reeeed. WHEEE!

... Damn. DX The heroine of the computer story just remembered having the need for internet for this chapter. Well, I guess I'll just do what I can.\par \par I'd really like to thank all my reviewers. You all are what drive me to continue to write this story. I love reading each and every one of my reviews, and as you know, I will keep replying to all of them.

Oh, hey, a friend reminded me of this. Do any of you think I got Madge's name from The Hunger Games ? I love the names from there, but that's not true. I was looking for a suitable name on a names list, and I found Madge. It means a pearl in Greek. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or the manuals. Lollidictator wrote the manuals I use. I believe Sweden's coming soon? =3

-/Hetalia/-

Ivan stood over me intimidatingly and I cowered in the corner. He smiled widely and cocked his head. "Ready to take a bath with me, comrade?"

"Um..." I wasn't sure what to say.

We stared at each other for a few minutes, Ivan smiling creepily and me with deer-in-headlights-eyes. He slowly went over to the tub and turned on the hot water, then the cold. He felt the water, and satisfied, put down the top toilet seat and sat down.

His violet eyes seared into my green ones. I felt as if his stare was threatening my soul. Again.

"Jump on in, defender of men. The water is perfect, da?" His eyes closed as his smile went even wider.

"Ehhhhh.. nah, I'm good, Ivan. Y-you can have the bathroom first." I scooted on my butt towards the door.

"Why won't you take a bath with me, Sasha?" Ivan got up and pressed a hand against the door.

I raised my eyebrows. It wasn't obvious? "W-well... I'magirlandyou'reaguyandIdon',itwouldruinmyinnocenceandtwo,it'djustbeveryveryawkward,okayBraginski?"[1] Not to mention he might attempt to drown me.

Ivan let out a snort, then started chuckling madly. "Oh, Sasha, you are funny, da?"

Huh? "What do you mean?"

"It's fun to watch you squirm~," Ivan sang-song. He patted me on the head. "You can take a bath first, defender of men." He opened the door and slipped out.

I sighed in relief and stripped to get into the tub. I sank into the warm water until only my nose and eyes were above water. Once I finished relaxing (I would need it. I had to go through who-knows-how-long with Audrey, Madge, and the units) I washed my hair and myself. I got out, dried myself, and realized I had no clothes. Well, I had the ones I was wearing earlier, but they were covered in that stinking fish water. The whole bath would be obsolete if I put those back on.

I opened the door a crack. "Madge? Audrey?" No reply. "MADGE, AUDREY?"

"SHUT UP," they called back. I could hear giggling, the bang of glasses on wood, and Japanese dance music... Shots and DDR? I shut the door and facepalmed.

I steeled myself and tugged my towel tighter. I would just have to stealthily make my way to my bedroom. I could not be seen. The dirty clothes were scooped up, and I tiptoed out the door. I practically held my breath when I tightly went around the corner to reach the stairs. I was a ninja. I WAS A NINJA, DAMMIT.

The clothes flew out of my arms and I screamed. Everyone was watching me. Al was laughing, Arthur was open-mouhed, Ivan's mouth made a small 'o' and Mattie-wait, where was... oh, right. Mattie's eyebrows shot into his hairline.

Audrey sniggered, but Madge looked ashamed. "I-it was Audrey's idea...," my blonde friend said sheepishly.

"Madge wanted to bring you clothes, but then I came up with this Prussia-worthy idea," Audrey stated proudly, "The Bad Touch Trio would be proud."

At least I had my towel on still. "You... " I shook my head. "Whatever, I give up."

"Aw, it's no fun if you're not angry!" Audrey crossed her arms and pouted.

"Bathroom's yours, Ivan. Madge, Audrey, you coming to change into your PJs?" In all reality, I wanted to strangle Audrey. I'd probably do it eventually. Just not at this moment.

"Yay, pajamas~," Audrey sang, running up the stairs. Madge followed behind her. I turned to go, but stopped as Al spoke.

"Dude, like your outfit." I looked at him. He was grinning, giving me a thumbs up. Until I threw a shoe at him. Thank you, Audrey, for not taking off your boots at the door.

"AUGH!" He fell over the couch and I ran upstairs. "THE HERO DOESN'T TAKE BACK HIS COMMENT-NO! IGGY, COMMIE, GET AWAAAAY!"

-/Hetalia/-

Upstairs, Audrey, Madge, and I changed. The pajamas we wore at our slumber parties weren't our usual. No giant t-shirts and sweatpants. Audrey insisted on it. "When we hang out, we need to be dressed to impress!" Who the hell would we need to impress, the Tooth Fairy? Madge and I never understood that particular rule of Audrey's. But with the Hetalia guys here, she was more insistent then ever.

"No!" She smacked yet another pair of my baggy gym shorts out of my hands. "They're gigantic! And pee-yellow!"

"But they're comfy," I protested, "And I'm not wearing anything like you are. Not a chance."

What Audrey had changed into had shocked me. I had come back upstairs after throwing a shoe (and apparently sicing everyone's favorite grump and sadist) at Alfred. She was wearing a dark purple sphagetti-strap top [2] with lace at the bottom and top, black socks, and black panties. PANTIES. Black lace ones. "It's no worse then a swimsuit. Better then a bra and panties!" Which had made me hit my head against the wall multiple times.

"It took her forever to approve my pajamas," Madge said, looking through my pajama drawer. She was wearing a pair of blue jogging shorts with white stripes down the sides, and a long-sleeved white shirt. "Just go with it. Or we'll be up here for hours." She sat down to pull on a pair of my socks.

I sighed. "Fine. No gym pants. What about these?" I pulled out a pair of soft white pajama shorts with different colored hearts on it with a pink ribbon to tie it.

"Acceptable!" Audrey gave me a thumbs up. She then proceeded to throw things out of my top drawer until she came to a soft pink tank. In the middle it was a light pink, getting darker at the ends. [3] "Change, I order you!"

I raised an eyebrow at her then took the tanktop. I quickly changed, also putting on a fluffy pair of socks. "Okay, forward MARCH!" I pointed forwards and walked downstairs with Madge and Audrey behind me.

When we got downstairs, I burst into laughter. Ivan held Alfred by the collar of his shirt like a little puppy. Texas, his glasses, were askew across his face. Arthur stood next to him, arms crossed. "Go on, git, say it," Iggy grumbled.

"I don't-"

"Do you need to be convinced more, comrade Amerika?" Ivan asked, shaking him sliightly.

"N-no!" Al yelped. He looked at me. "I apologize, Sasha. It was wrong and ungentlemanly of me. I should not have said what I did."

Iggy nodded in approval, but Ivan smiled wider. "And, Amerika?"

"I am not going to say that, Ivan! She's my citizen, not-OW! Fine, fine!" Alfred looked at the snickering me. "And I should not have done that to Ivan's comrade."

... "Soooooo, DDR," I said, gesturing wildly and going over to the game. Audrey was laughing at her country as Ivan put him down.

"A-Audrey! Wh-what in the world are you wearing?" Arthur asked, staring at Audrey. "That's not appropriate for a young lady at all!"

"Pajamas," Audrey said with a shrug.

"B-but," Arthur sputtered, "You're wearing knickers and a revealing top! That's not lady-like at all!"

"No, no, Iggy, dude!" Alfred said, putting an arm around England and one around Audrey. "Those aren't knickers. Those are panties. PAN-TIES."

Iggy looked horrified. "Jones, your citizens... I just... Sasha, Madge, you two need to move to England. Now, for your own sake. I beg you. I can not have you grow up here any more."

"For your information, dude," Audrey growled, poking Arthur in the chest, "Your beloved citizens can be just as bad. Just because you guys have 'bums' and smoke a 'fag', doesn't mean you're better." [4]

"Yeah, dude!" Al nodded. "America, like, threw your tea into the harbor! We won, dude!"

A dismayed Arthur looked at me for help. If I didn't stop this now, it could go on for hours. I had to think of something that would distract a proud nation and an American cosplayer. DDR wouldn't do it. Shots might distract Audrey, but not Al. Only one thing came to mind. Something I've been meaning to tell Audrey for a while now, and something that Alfred would adore.\par \par I cleared my throat loudly. And began to sing. "AMERICA." Everyone turned to me, wondering what the hell I was doing. "FUCK YEAH. COMING TO SAVE THE MOTHER FUCKING DAY, YEAH. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH. FREEDOM IS THE ONLY WAY YEAH!" [5]

"What... the hell... was that?" Madge asked, flabbergasted. Beside her America and Audrey were falling over each other laughing.

"That... that song... is beautiful," Alfred gasped out between laughs. Audrey nodded in agreement. Tears were in her eyes and she couldn't speak.

"I do not like it, da?" Ivan grinned and crossed his arms.

"Um, I don't..." Canada started, only for Al to speak up and interrupt him.

"SO! This sleep over! What's planned?" Alfred was shedding his layers as he spoke. He was soon down to his Superman boxers and white tank.

"AHHH, NOOOO!" I screamed, diving under the coffee table. "THE MEMORIES! THEY BURRRRRN!"

Everyone stared at me, for the third time that night.

"Death hugs... and sudden striping..." I muttered, shivering. I hugged myself.

"Ooooookaaaaayyyy..." Madge said, turning away and back to the guys.

"Dramatic much?" Audrey scoffed. She looked back at Al. "First of all, the rest of the guys need YO' PJ'S!" She went all ganster on them, cupping one side of her mouth and putting her free hand in the air.

"... Don't do that," Madge and I said at the same time.

"We're embarressed for you," I told her. I came out from my spot underneath the table.

Audrey sighed. "Whatever, whatever. Pajamas, guys. They're neccessary."

Arthur, Mattie, and Ivan all looked at each other then trudged up the stairs. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Who's here this late?" I asked, walking towards the front door. It was already eight[6], and everyone who would come over without calling (coughMadgeandAudreycough) were already here. I opened the door to see someone I thought I wouldn't see for quite some time.

"Asher?"

"Hey, chickie. Special delivery," my deliveryman said, leaning on another huge box. The smaller one and the manual were under his arm.

"But... BUT I JUST GOT ENGLAND," I said, trying to shut the door. He put his foot in the way.

"Sorry, Sasha. They sent this one early, and it's policy to deliver them as soon as we get 'em in. We can't have the box knocked over or have them accidently opened." Asher slowly forcefully opened the door. I was such a weakling.

"But I don't want one so soon..." I whimpered. I swear, the units must have super hearing, because what followed was perfectly on time.

"Are you alright, defender of men? Is someone making my comrade whimper? Kolkolkol..."

"DUDE! What's wrong? Do you need the hero to save you?"

"Um, will pancakes cheer you up...?" (Wait, who was that? ... Oh! Yeah, Canada.)

"Love, do you need help? If neccessary I'll run them through."

I turned towards the units behind me. They were wearing a mix of old shirts, sweat pants, boxers, and undershirts as pajamas. They all either got them from the attic store of clothes or they had been wearing them under their clothes. I was particularly impressed with Canada's 'I AM NOT AMERICA, I AM CANADA' boxers. I could hear Audrey in the background. "Oh, sweet mama, these poor people need to go shopping!" [7]

"Asher's trying to give me another unit," I tattled, pointing at the man in the Flying Mint Bunny hat. "That's two in one day! THIS IS MADNESS!"

"THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAAA!" Audrey screamed. Silence. "Heh... heheh... I had to."

"Is that... Flying Mint Bunny ears on your hat?" Arthur gasped and pointed at Asher's hat. So much for running him through.

"Uhh, yeah," Asher said, a bit intimidated by Iggy's sudden change in attitude. "You, er... want it?"

"BLOODY HELL YES," Iggy yelled. He stole the hat off the man's head, jammed it on his own, and ran off to find a mirror.

"Is that okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure," Asher shrugged. "I've got a spare. Now, missy, sign." He held out the familiar electric signer. I gave in and signed in what could be called 'a doctor's scrawl'. If you wanted to be polite. I just called it crap.

"Al, could you...?" I motioned to the box. He nodded and picked it up easily. He set it down in the middle of my living room. Asher handed me the smaller box and the manual. He waved good bye and wished me luck. "Bye, Asher..."

I opened up the manual. "Oh no. No nononono NONO NON, NYET, NEIN, NONONONONO." I would need it. One member of the Bad Touch Trio down, two to go.

"WHO IS IT?" Audrey asked, leaping and grabbing for the manual. I stepped out of the way and she fell to the floor.

"Can I see?" Madge asked. She held out her hand and I slapped the paper onto it. She looked, and started to grin. "I simply thank the fact he is not mine."

I stole back the manual. "Shuddup. You could get another of them." Madge paled and her blue eyes widened.

"Who is here now, comrade?" Ivan asked curiously, looking over my shoulder. I held the paper so he could see it better.

'Gilbert Bellischmidt: User Guide and Manual'

"Prussia," I muttered. I would need that luck Asher gave me. Prussia, who invades vital-regions, claims to be Awesome with a capital A, and who could annoy the shit out of you faster then a five year old with nothing to do. That's eaten candy. A few days before Christmas.

"PRUSSIA?" Audrey said, sitting up quickly. "BELLISCHMIDT IS AWESOME." (Quite frankly, I'm surprised that shouting that Gilbert was awesome wasn't a way to wake him up.)

Ivan looked delighted. "Oh, you mean Kaliningrad?"

"NO, IVAN, YOU'LL-"

Too late. The box started to shake. Pieces of wood went flying. "IVAN, YOU DUMMKOPF!" A voice growled from the inside. "DO NOT CALL THE AWESOME ME THAAAAAT!" Gilbert bursted out of the box. His eyes locked onto Russia and he started to stomp toward us. "Braginski! You-!"

What Braginski 'was' we never found out, because suddenly Audrey tackled Gilbert to the ground with a thud.

"PRUSSIA! GILBERT, YOU'RE AWESOMENESS!" Audrey hugged the 'Awesome One' tightly. I was surprised Gil could breathe.

"Kesesese!" Gilbert looked down at the girl hugged him for dear life. "Does that mean you want to see the awesome me's five meters?"

"HELL YEAH," Audrey said, hugging him even tighter.

"NO SHE DOES NOT," I said, dragging my friend off the ex-nation. "She doesn't want to. At all. America, take Audrey away to calm down right now, or you soon won't be her favorite."

"COME ON, CITIZEN!" Al said, picking up a struggling Audrey and carrying her upstairs. Actually, that looked kind of dangerous...

"NOOOooooo," Audrey cried. Her voice was slowly fading. "But Gilberrrrrrttt...!"

That left Gilbert, Madge, Ivan, and me downstairs. There was quiet for a minute.

"So..." Gilbert looked at me. He smirked and looked me up and down. "You were obviously just jealous. Wanna see my five meters, cutie?"

"I... I.. O-o-of course not," I stammered. I was blushing madly. This. This is why I didn't need Gilbert. "N-n-no way!"

"Sure you do," Gilbert retorted, smirk widening

"Kaliningrad..." Ivan started. His voice sounded bright but pissed at the same time. "Leave my podruga alone, da? Kolkolkol..."

"Just because an un-awesome person like you can't get into her pants doesn't mean I should leave her alone," Gilbert said. "She obviously wants me."

"I-I-I d-d-don't..." I said quietly. They ignored me. I was turning into Mattie here. Where was Mattie? Seriously this time. Where'd he go? I didn't have much time to wonder, because suddenly I was lifted up and flung over a shoulder. It was Ivan. He was kol'ing the whole time he carried me upstairs and into my room.

Downstairs, I could still hear Gilbert. "So, guess that just leaves you and the awesome me..."

Crap. Madge was still down there.

"ARGH!" Gilbert's voice came upstairs, for some reason high-pitched. "My awesome five meters! You can't kick a guy there!" He squeaked.

Good job, Madge.

-/Hetalia/-

"So!" Audrey said, rubbing her hands together. It was about fifteen minutes later, and everyone had calmed down. Kind of. Gilbert kept glancing at Madge and mumbling under his breath. And Iggy? He was in heaven with his new hat. ("Look, Flying Mint Bunny! I'm just like you now!") "First of all, we have to force a shot down Sash's throat."

I did a spit-take with the chocolate milk I was guzzling down. (I was in sugar heaven tonight. You could seriously compare me with Arthur right now. We raided my kitchen and Madge had brought some as well.) The milk spewed all over my coffee table and carpet. "Wh-what!"

"Everytime Madge and I spend the night, Madge'll have a single shot, and you'll just have some peach brandy, that hard lemonaid shit, or cranberry juice and vodka. Like, half a glass. So I'm always stuck here with to sober people all night. If I try to force Madge, she'll beat me up."

"AND I WON'T?" I yelled, eyes narrowing.

"You'll try," she said as she shrugged. "But you don't take karate."

My mouth opened and closed like a fish trying to get air. Only air came out. I closed my mouth and swallowed before trying to speak again. "But... But I don't..." I choked out.

Ivan set a shotglass of clear vodka in front of me "Drink some vodka, defender of men." He smiled at me, so widely his eyes were almost closed. Have I mentioned it was creepy? Well, it was. "It is very good, and I drink more than this all the time."

"I really don't drink anything like this," I mumbled.

"Don't drink that un-awesome shit!" Gilbert said. "Good German bier is better any day!" He flung an arm around my shoulders and swigged his beer. "Ignore that vergewaltigung[8], madchen[9]!"

"Kolkolkol..." A purple outline seemed to surround Russia. "Kaliningrad, it does no good to insult me. She is my comrade."

"I'm so sure," Gilbert snorted, going back to sit on the couch. As far from Madge as he could get.

"Just do it," Madge sighed. "It's one shot."

Damn peer pressure. I took the cold glass in my hand and brought it to my mouth. I threw my head back and swallowed. The liqour burned as it went down. "Oh, geez," I coughed.

"NOW WE DANCE!" Audrey shouted. She leaped to her feet and turned on the TV, where DDR waited. "Who's first?" She looked at me.

"I'm just... gonna eat some Oreos..." I said, sitting back and nomming on a delicious chocolate cookie with cream filling.

Audrey looked at Madge.

"HAHA, no," Madge said, crossing her arms.

"Okay, fine." Audrey looked around. "Oh! Hey, Iggy! You look like you could do some dancing! You can verse me!"

Arthur paled. "Actually, I really would rather-AH!" I got up and grabbed his hand, hauling him to the mat.

"You can do this, Arthur!" I said, letting go of his hand when he stood on the mat. "You're England! Surely you can dance well!"

Arthur stared at me for a second before smiling softly. "Heh, alright, love." He tossed his hat gently onto the chair. "It's on!"

I backed up as they started.

...

Maybe I shouldn't have encouraged Iggy like that. He was kicking ASS. But Audrey was going to blame me. It wasn't my fault, right?

"Player 2 wins," the game said. Iggy grinned and bowed first to me, then to the group. We clapped and laughed. His grin was goofy and proud.

"I blame you," Audrey accused, pointing at me. "It's your fault."

"How is this my fault?"

"You encouraged him," Audrey said. She threw back a shot and glared at me. "He would've lost if you weren't all, Oh, Iggy, I believe in you!"

"I never said that," I muttered.

"You meant it. Are you in luuuuuuv with him? Do you luuuuuuuuv his hot English accent?" She grinned evily at me.

England spit out his rum. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?" He gasped, patting his shirt free of the rum.

"N-no!" I yelled, face red.

"Sure you do! You love him! You wanna marry him~," Audrey sang, dancing around me.

"Q-quit acting like a child," Arthur tried to scold her.

"You wanna marry him~. You wanna have his babies~. Or maybe you wanna marry Al? Or Ivan? Or maybe even the awesome Gil? You're in l-o-v-e loooooove!"

"BE QUIET," I yelled, launching myself at her and tackling her to the ground.

Audrey laughed as we rolled around on the floor and I tried to flick her on the nose like a dog. I felt myself being lifted off of her by a pair of hands on my waist.

"The hero says you fellow citizens shouldn't fight!" Alfred said, setting me down.

"Shut up, Al," I mumbled, crossing my arms. I was still pissed. And embarressed. I gave her a venemous glare.

"That was AWESOME," Gilbert laughed, falling off the couch in his laughter.

"Calm down, love," Iggy said, looking at me in concern.

"I think it's the vodka, da?" Ivan seemed on the verge of laughing.

"Yes, yes, it's all good and hilarious, but could we continue the damn DDR?" Madge asked. "I wanna go against Mattie next."

So the game continued, with laughs and more drinking. I began to get a little fuzzy after the third shot Ivan forced me to take.

"Now who goes?" I asked. Everyone execpt for Ivan had gone.

"I think it's Russia's turn to suck," Madge snickered, looking at him.

"If I go, then Sasha will go with me, da?" Ivan asked, ignoring Madge's jab. For now.

"Go kick his ass, Sash," Madge said.

I finished the last shot Ivan was making me drink and hit my head against the desk.

Gilbert smirked. "I want to see this."

Ivan got up and went to Player One's mat. I sighed and went to the second mat. After choosing the song, we began to dance.

WHATISTHISIDON'TEVEN?

Ivan was break dancing. BREAK FUCKING DANCING. And winning. HOW CAN YOU BREAK DANCE AND STILL WIN AT DDR? I stopped dancing altogether and just stared at the unholy... unholy... THING. He danced and used his hands to spin and yet somehow HE WAS PRESSING THE BUTTONS WITH THE SONG.

"Heh.. heh... HAHAHA, IVAN THAT IS MORE AWESOME THEN PRUSSIA THINKS HE IS," I laughed, falling backwards to crash into both the chair and Mattie. "Oh... oh... sorry, Mathew... I can't... I can't..." I tried to speak, but my voice only came out in gasps between laughs.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MORE AWESOME THEN I THINK I AM?" Gilbert shouted, glaring at me. I ignored him.

"I-it's okay, Sasha," Mattie said softly. "Um... are you okay...?"

"HAHA NO I DON'T THINK SO, PFFFT." I was laughing so hard my eyes were beginning to water.

"Defender of men? Are you feeling okay?" Ivan leaned over me, looking surprised at my sudden change in attitude.

"Yo! Calm down there, dude," Alfred said, eyebrows furrowing.

"Love, maybe you should lay down..." Arthur looked really worried.

"Quit being so unawesome, Sash." Gil rolled his eyes.

"Haha... I think I'm drunk..." I giggled, slowly sliding off the chair.

Everyone looked at each other and raised their eyebrows. Hey, this was their fault!

"Oi, oi, pass me that vodka," I said, standing up and grabbing the bottle. I poured myself another shot and took it.

"Maybe you shouldn't..." Madge said, slowly taking the bottle.

Dude, her face was hilarious. I smacked her face softly. "Hey... heeeyyyyyy... who do you think, thhhhhink... you are?"

"YES, FINALLY," Audrey said. She pulled me to a stand (when did I fall down...?) "Now it's time for fun. IVAN!"

"Da, Audrey?" Ivan asked, pausing in his poking of my cheek.

"I challange you to a drinking contest."

Wait, hold on. I don't think she should do that. Ivan was... Ha... haha... "Hey, hey guyzzzz?" Everyone turned towards me. "I lovez you guys..." I went up to Gilbert and hugged him. "You are awesome~. And, and, aaaannnnd, Iggy?" I turned towards him. "You. You are so coooool. You should be an arg, arrrrg..."

"Wh-what?" Iggy asked, his eye twitching.

"An ARG. A pirate. Arg, arg..." I put a hand over my eye like an eye patch and tackled Iggy. "Pirate you is hot. Hoooott. Hhhoooootttt-t-t..."

"Uh, Sasha," Iggy said, trying to push me off. "I think you've really had enough."

"AND THE HERO!" I shouted, hugging Al's legs. "Dude, you're... duuude. We went to the moooooooon! Moooo!" I burst into more giggles. A shadow went over me and I looked up to see Russia.

"Kolkol... defender of men, I think I should put you to bed."

"IVAN," I screamed in joy. I leaped up and latched onto his back. "You, hehehe... gosh, you're such an alcoholic. Bad Ivan. Bad." I tapped him on the nose. "Heheh... You have. A. Big. Nose. It's huuuuuuuuge!" I fell off his back and covered my mouth. "I think I'm gonna be sick," I moaned. I ran into the bathroom and lost my stomach into the toilet.

Jasper, my large fluffy Newfoundland, padded in. He laid his big head on my knee and looked at me with his sympathetic eyes.

"Aww... there goes my chocolate, Jasper," I pouted.

-/Hetalia/-

I woke up the next morning, my head pounding. My mouth was dry and tasted nasty. I licked my bone dry lips and opened my eyes.

Huh.

This was wierd. I was in a tangle of bodies on the living room floor. How did this work? My head was using Ivan's stomach as a pillow. My stomach was being used as a pillow by Gilbert. Alfred was hugging my waist, snoring loudly. Mathew's legs splayed across my own. And then there was Audrey, who was drapped across Gilbert's gut. After a few mintues I located Madge, curled into a ball next to Mathew. We were a sight.

Yet where was Iggy?

"Oh, you're up, pet?" Arthur's voice came from the direction of the kitchen. I turned my head to see him sipping tea and walking towards me. "How're you feeling?"

"Bad enough to think your whisper might make my head explode," I muttered. "Make it stoooop."

"I don't suppose you could get up? I have some things that would help," he said sympathetically. Just like my dog last night. Just with, uh, speaking. Speaking of Jasper, he was the one sleeping on the couch. How did that work again?

"I'll try," I whispered. I slowly edged my legs out from under Mattie's, then unwrapped Al's arms. I picked up Gil's head and sat up, putting it back down after I got up.

"Good manuevering. Feel like steering the ship on my next pirate excursion? Arg?" England handed me a glass of water and two asprins with a grin.

"Oh, so you remember that," I said sheepishly after taking the pills and swallowing half the glass. "Sorry. I wasn't really myself at that moment."

Arthur snorted. "I noticed. So, what all can you remember?"

I thought for a minute. "Um... the beginning of Ivan and Audrey's drinking competition."

He looked as if he was about to laugh. "So you don't remember Audrey making you and Alfred help her? She was practically throwing the shots at you two. She lost when she threw up all over the kitchen floor. Ivan wasn't even looking drunk."

I leaned to the left, trying with dread to see behind Arthur.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I cleaned it up," Arthur said with a smile.

"Whew. Thanks, Arthur. What would I do without you?" I broke into a grateful grin.

"She might've won if Gilbert would've helped. He refused to drink the shots," he chuckled. "Gilbert has a srtomach of steel as well."

I sipped my water slowly. "Anything else?"

"Hm, well, you're lucky you don't remember the kareoke. Alfred sang." Iggy shivered. "But nice choice, suggesting American Idiot for me to sing."

"Oh. Well, I try."

"Oi, Sash, you gonna make some breakfast?" Gilbert appeared beside me. "I'm hungry."

"Ha! You're such a noob, Gil! Sash can't cook crap!" Alfred appeared at my other side. "It's quite simple. We have to go to Micky D's!"

"Kolkolkol... I do not think so," Ivan said, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Ugh, I'm with him for once," Madge said. She walked in front of me and crossed her arms. "No thanks to McDonald's."

"I agree with our hero!" Audrey ran next to Al's side, nodding crazily.

"NO, AUDREY," everyone except for Al and Audrey shouted at the same time.

"How about Mattie makes us pancakes? Is that okay, Matt?" I turned towards the quiet nation.

"Yes, I think I could-"

"Kesesese, AWESOME, MATTIE!"

"Spasibo, Mattvie!"

"The hero still wants McDonald's..."

More arguing began and I just sighed. Would these people ever agree? At the climax of the argument, there was a knock on the door. I looked at it, let out a large groan, and dragged my feet towards it. I opened it, revealing a man I HAD JUST SEEN LAST NIGHT.

"Hey there, Sash!" Asher stood on my porch, grinning and leanng against the crate he had for me.

"You did not. Just do. What you did. Just then." My eyes narrowed at him and I held the doorknob tightly.

"Uhhh... what?"

"I know you're not here with another unit after just giving me one last night. Wait, no. After giving me two new units yesterday."

"Heh, sorry. It arrived. I had to bring it in." He gave me a 'what'cha gonna do face' and shrugged.

"No, no, don't shrug at me. I don't want your shrugs. I want you to stop bringing these damn units! I'm going crazy as it is! I don't need anymore!" Ow. My hand flew to my head. Maybe I shouldn't have yelled.

He just laughed. "Sashie, I've been punched, had things thrown at my head, and had units attack me. Your hungover yelling that's hurting yourself isn't doing much good at this moment. Take the damn unit." He held out his signature pad which I grumpily signed. He passed me the small box and hauled the big one inside. With a tip of his cap, he was gone.

Grumbling angrily, I opened the envelope. "No, don't give me a break or anything. I can't even think anymore. One more unit's going to make me lose my-THE FUCK? THIS IS A TRICK, RIGHT?" I read and re-read the title.

'Ivan Braginski: User Guide and Manual'

"What's wrong, Sash?" Madge looked over my shoulder and dropped the toast she was nibbling on. "No. Way."

"How can this happen?" I shouted. "ASHER. ASHER, DAMMIT!"

"What's wrong, comrade?" Ivan plucked the manual from my hands. He looked confused for a second. "Another me... ?"

"I can barely handle you, Ivan," I wailed, wringing my hands. How was I going to do this? Two Ivans? Surely they'd let me return this second Ivan! Double the fear for my life! I couldn't cope with-

"Um... m-may Russia come out now?" A small, little boy voice came from the box. It was slightly stuttery and quiet. "It... it is very dark and scary in here..."

What? Everyone stared at the box. I leapt towards it and tore off the top.

There, sitting on the packaging, sat a small boy. His violet eyes were big and a bit frightened, and his silver hair was messy under his hat. His scarf covered his mouth, his large nose poking out over it. He sniffled.

"Um... como?" My mind had reverted to my one year of Spanish schooling. [12]

Little Russia stood up and his gloved hands gripped the side of the box. After looking around, his eyes settled on me. "Um... um... privyet."

"... Privyet?" It sounded more like a question than a hello as it came out of my mouth. Cute. So. Very. Cute.

He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and continued staring at me with his purple orbs. "Are... are you Mother Russia?"

-/Hetalia/-

[1] - Do I really need to put here what it says? 'Cause I can read it... =3

[2] - PASTAAAAAAAAA~~! XD Sorry, sorry...

[3] - I have a scarf like that! :D It's so pretty~.

[4] - Bum means butt and fag is a cigarette. XD Just using my limited British vocabulary~.

[5] -... Don't judge me. XDDD I found it on YouTube. It's from some movie. It should be Al's theme, huh? =D

[6] - YES EIGHT IS LATE IF YOU DON'T CALL FIRST. Geez. DX

[7] - I once told you there would be a shopping expedition. And there will be. Soon. ^J^

[8] - I needed an insult, and all I had was a German to English, English to German dictionary from my school's library. I almost used kidnapper, but then I remembered my friend Atama, and a story she wrote, and then a conersation with my friend Jenny. And so. This insult means... RAPIST. :D

[9] - Means maiden, girl, and so on...

[10] - This is actually from the dub. When Ukraine gives Russia his scarf and in exchange asks for some land or something he says, "My sister's a nutjob..."

[11] - Como means what in Spanish. XD Well, que means the official what. Como is more polite, and also means how. SPANISH CLASS, MAN.

So, everyone's favorite albino has arrived~. I love Gilbert. I'm going to have fun with him! :D So is Audrey. XD I feel like this chapter wasn't that good. Sorry about that, guys. ^^;;

Ooh, cliffhanger! XD Little!Russia has also come. Two in one. To make up for my absence. And just because he's adorable. :D I seriously love him. DON'T YOU~? :DDD

My internet still hasn't returned. I'm uploading this at the library. Library Wi-Fi, thank you.

You know the song 'American Idiot'? Well, Weird Al (HA! As in Alfred? Pffttt...) made a parody called 'Canadian Idiot'. Awwww, yeeeaaaah. :D

Also, also in music, I found this song called 'I Can't Decide'. Listen to the chorus, and tell me who it reminds you of. Not what the rest of the song makes you think, because that might change your mind, but the chorus. I can't stop listening to it (the whole song). It's Prussia-worthy. XD

Dang, you guys were lucky I was even able to write this. Why? I've been reading a bunch of books in present tense lately. Last time I did that and tried to write, I kept accidently writing in present tense. XD What do you people think? Would this story have been better if I had written it in present tense?

LAST THING, I SWEAR. Maybe. Have any of you read Eyes Like Stars? I just finished it not long ago. Too bad I can't find Perchance to Dream ... Okay, the reason I bring it up is because there's this pirate named Nate in it. AND DAMMIT, I COULDN'T STOP IMAGINING HIM AS PIRATE!IGGY. He's supposed to be long haired and tan, but all I see is scruffy-headed big-browed Iggy. So if Bertie and Ariel get together, I will curse her. ;-; Anyone else ever have that problem when reading a book? You imagine someone that just barely fits the criteria, maybe even from Hetalia? And if you haven't read Eyes Like Stars and you find it, make sure to read it.

Well then, hasta-la-bye-bye! Review, and wait patiently for the next chapter! X3

... I lied. Go read my friend Atama Ga Kuru Teru's The World Is Ours. It's a really good story, and not actually a unit fic. It really good. She has like more than one hundred reviews already. There's a modified Sasha there! XD