I found myself sighing deeply. My dream, my passion, my hope for a better future went down the drain.
How couldn't they see it? They talked about evil and defying God. I knew that if God existed he wasn't any better than any of the humans he created. He himself found so many way to torture his so called treasured creation: disease, natural disaster, some would say death. But the worst of them all is the need to hurt and destroy.
I could have got rid of all that, but they wouldn't let me. These imperfect human beings. They were evil. Not me. The paedophile priest, the snobbish woman, the snide shirker, the absurdly strict general and the merciless lawyer. Don't they want to get rid off of all their sins? Apparently not.
Danvers alone was worthy. But he also turned his back to me. Even though we both loved the same person more than anything. Danvers's daughter, my finance. At least she was once. I hoped I would fill the hole caused by her death with this. Another dream died.
"I'm sorry, Jekyll. Even if I didn't vote against you, one voice would not make a difference," he heard Danvers' voice from behind.
"You could say something," Jekyll raised his voice way more than he intended. He wasn't too proud of himself.
"Henry, you're almost like a son to me…"
I didn't hear the rest. Almost. It always was almost. Almost his son. Almost married. Almost saved the world from itself. Almost found a reason to live another day,
I tipped my hat and left. I had nothing to say or to do there.
My friend Thomas was about to get married. The bastard got engaged the day Emma died. I should have been happy for him. I wasn't. But even so, Thomas invited me to his so-called bachelor party: one last visit in a den. I didn't look at another woman for six months. Maybe it was time to start.
When I arrived at The Red Rat club in a fashionable delay, I realized I was the only one who was invited. Of course, the rest were married already.
"Hey, Henry, you're getting ready slower even than Linda!" Thomas said as cheerful as always.
"Some things happened," I tried to escape his direct gaze.
"Oh, well, the night's still young," Thomas said and started walking.
"Don't you feel bad about it?" I asked. "Your fiancé would never…"
"You always spoil the fun, don't you?" Thomas looked at me, a smile still on his face. "Forget about me. You need this place much more than I do. After Friday, I'll have a woman to return to, and you won't. Not that I expect you to return to any of these, but, you know… you should lose up a little, live again."
I knew he was right. Despair would lead me nowhere. And I couldn't lose anymore than I already did.
At first glance, the place was appealing. Soft light gave the room a romantic feeling, and cheery music filled the air. But it wasn't a concert. Men in all ages and statuses, whether social or marriage. Women were roaming between the tables, all young with a huge smile on their faces which felt as though they were wearing a mask. It was a show, and they were actresses, nothing more. Half of the laughs were real, about the other half, I could only wonder.
But then, the lights were dimmed even more. The girls one by one went to the little stage that stood there. Silence.
And then she appeared. A woman in her late 20's, her curly dark brown hair was loose, her brown eyes were glittering as the light reflected in them, her red lipstick made her look mysterious and the black-red dress couldn't fit anyone else better. When I first met Emma, I felt a lot of things: my pounding heart, the chills, the butterflies in my stomach. With her, I found himself gulping.
The other women started standing around, each of them in some sexual pose. And then, she started singing. Her song was about her wanting men from morning to evening. I didn't know why, but I couldn't believe the words she said, even though she wore the perfect mask. There was no one hint of faking it, and yet… something in her told me it was all an act. That she was indeed an actress, and wasn't fitting to any of this. How else could it be so perfect? Even the truth couldn't be more perfect.
And then, she approached me.
