Welcome to the wonderful world of Episode Rewrites where two crack characters, created for the sole purpose of you (the readers) amusement embark on a journey to make sure that they're favorite pairings are rewritten as canon in the Avatar universe. If you have any questions about them, see the last chapter.

Disclaimer: No, we don't own Avatar, or any of the Avatar Characters. We do, however, own Lexi, Avirey, and Chito. No stealing them, please.

Warnings: Aunt Wu and Meng fans may find their favorite characters in an...er...sticky situation.


Lexi looked at the sign staked in the front yard of the building the three kids they had been…er…trailing disappear into. Aunt Wu's Fortune Telling it read triumphantly. "This is going to be good," she decided. Her eyes turned to Avery; who was arguing with a man at a fruit stand.

"You're suuuure you don't have any bananas?" she was asking, "Because when Chito doesn't have his bananas, Chito gets upset. And when Chito gets upset; people die!" Chito was standing at Avery's feet; and if the fruit stand man could have seen the little animal then Avery's threat wouldn't have been so…threatening.

"No! I'm suuuure we don't have—did you say, people die?" The man in the strange hat scratched his head and blinked in surprise, "I'll just double check that for you." He ducked down in his fruit stand and began rooting through crates of food.

"Avery!" Lexi hissed, grabbing Avery by the arm and dragging her away. Chito mewed and hopped after them. Lexi pointed fiercely at the sign in the grass and said dramatically, "They're going to have their fortunes told!" Avery looked over her shoulder at a pair of woman in vividly colored kimonos walked by.

"I've got an idea!" she told Lexi.


"What do you see?" Lexi whispered to her friend who was sitting on her shoulders.

"She's still talking to that lady—wow, she must have told her everything about her future by know; except maybe what she'll be having for dinner a week from Friday." Lexi—who suddenly felt weighed down by the amount of clothes she was wearing—stumbled backwards. Avery flailed her arms to catch her balance but this just made Lexi lose hers and the two girls wound up in a heap on the floor.

"Who knew that you'd need to put on so many different clothes just to look like a psychic person," Avery said, trying to readjust her mysterious looking hood so that her face was not visible.

"Who knew that you'd have to tie up so many people just to get it all," Lexi added, adjusting her own outfit. The girls had to steal the 'disguises' they were now wearing from the two kimono wearing girls, a few gypsies, a circus performer, a chef, a chimney sweep, a couple of dancers, a robber, and a cross dresser.

The room next door suddenly erupted in Chito's mewing. "That's the signal!" Lexi announced, forcing herself to her feet and rushing to open the door that separated the two rooms—but only just a crack.

"Hello there, little one," Aunt Wu, the fortune teller, was saying to little Chito. Chito—being the obedient animal that he was—had followed his instructions to hide in the room until Aunt Wu's guest was gone, then come out and begin meowing like crazy. The plan was working perfectly.

The only thing that Lexi regretted was that they'd left all their socks, stakes, and other 'tools' back at camp and wasted all their bubble gum tying up the owners of the very clothes they were wearing now, so they had to improvise. But of course, they'd managed to come across a lamp shade and some crazy glue in the closet that they were hiding in, and that would do the job just fine.

Avery came and stood next to Lexi, the lamp shade in her hands and handed Lexi the bottle of crazy glue which Lexi carefully stashed in her pocket until the moment was right. "What are you doing in here?" Aunt Wu said to Chito, and her back to the two girls. Lexi took a tentative step out of their hiding place and Avery followed. When Aunt Wu was too busy talking to Chito and didn't notice the girls; they advanced.

They were mere steps away when Chito noticed them. He seemed to have forgotten about the plan as he began happily prancing past the fortune teller to where the two girls were stationed. Aunt Wu followed him with her gaze, and gasped when she saw the two cloaked people standing silently behind her; one holding a lamp shade and the other a bottle of crazy glue. "Who are you?" she asked, stepping backwards. This was a minor setback. The woman and the two girls stared at each other wordlessly for a long time. Finally Lexi looked at her friend and nodded.

Avery sprang forward and sunk the lampshade down on the fortune teller's head. Lexi uncapped her bottle of crazy glue and squeezed it until the white sticky substance coated the woman's arms, legs, and back. "What's going on?" she cried, thrashing around but unable to see anything because of the lampshade obstructing her vision. She wasn't the strongest person in the world and with both Lexi and Avery pulling her they were able to take Aunt Wu into the closet almost effortlessly. She was still flapping her arms like a chicken when the girls stuck her to the closet wall. "Help!" she cried.

"That could be a problem," Lexi commented, referring to the fact that the fortune teller could still talk, despite the lampshade on her head.

"I've got it covered," Avery said slyly. She waded through her clothing until she reached the pocket she was searching for. Then she whipped out a flip-flop.

"Nice," Lexi approved as they placed it in her mouth, so she could no longer talk.


"I hope you don't mind that I came back here; but we've been waiting for a long time and I just wanted to see if you were ready," Katara was standing at the doorway of the 'fortune teller room'. Sitting on a cushion was a figure that wasn't quite visible in the darkness. "Come in," another figure-this one standing in the shadows-said. Katara looked confusedly from one figure to another. She didn't realize that the figure that was sitting down was actually Lexi and the one in the shadows was actually Avery.

"If you're Aunt Wu; then who are you?" she asked, pointing to Avery when she came to the 'who are you?' part.

"I'm—I'm—I'm Aunt Wu's assistant," Avery declared. Behind Katara's back; Lexi shot her friend a thumbs up.

"But, we just met Aunt Wu's assistant outside—and she wasn't as tall as you," Katara responded.

"You did?" Lexi shook her head—probably to buy her time as she thought of what she was going to say next, "What did she look like?"

"Young girl, pink kimono, missing a tooth, wild hair—"

"Ah, yes. That little girl is crazy. She's a former escapee of the funny farm. She likes to pretend she's different people—sometimes she's my assistant. Sometimes she's a hobo. Either way, I've been meaning to call security on her sooner or later."

"I see," Katara looked uncomfortable, "So—are you going to read my fortune?"

"Oh yeah—I mean; of course I'm going to read your fortune. Come sit down." As Katara walked over, there was suddenly a sound from the closet. It sounded like someone screaming but their voice was muffled by something.

"What was that?" Katara looked startled.

"Nothing to worry about," said Lexi through gritted teeth, "It's probably just my—uh—grandson,"

"Why is your grandson in the closet?"

"He's eating Doritos," Lexi affirmed, catching the curious expression in Katara's eyes, she added, "You see, he's on a special diet. He isn't allowed to eat Doritos—or chips of any kind. So he hides in the closet and eats them—apparently if no one sees him eat them then the calories don't count."

"Why is he screaming?"

"The guilt is finally getting to him," Lexi shrugged, "Hey, Assistant, please go check on my grandson and make sure that he is alright." Avery saluted Lexi and dashed into the closet. Lexi saw that she was clutching the second flip-flop of the pair in her hand—just in case. Then she turned back to Katara who was staring interestedly at her.

"So, what are Doritos?" she said dreamily.

"Don't ask questions! Aunt Lexi—I mean Aunt Wu is a very busy lady! I have many other clients who are waiting to have their fortunes read; but I suppose that we could sit around and talk about my personal life instead..."

"Fortune please." Katara put in.

"I thought so. Now, um," Lexi's eyes flickered to the burning fire, wondering what to do. She was no fortune teller—and perhaps it would have been smart to actually pay attention to what Aunt Wu was doing before when she told the young woman her fortune—instead of just longing for it to end.

"What do I need to do?" Katara asked eagerly. Lexi's eyes rested on an urn filled with bones which surely had something to do with fortune telling. No; what would bones have to do with fortune telling? She seemed to recall something about crystal balls…

"Gaze deep into the crystal…ball," Lexi pulled a tiny rhinestone off of the shawl she'd stolen from a dancer. It was horribly small; not even a centimeter long. Lexi set it down gingerly on the urn; after she knocked the basket full of bones forcefully onto the floor. "Gaze deep inside and I will reveal your future." Katara did as she was told and stared intensely at the lavender fake-crystal. At that exact moment Avery walked out of the closet.

"You're grandson is doing fine." Avery winked and Lexi took note of the fact that she was no longer holding the second flip-flop. Then, she turned back to her make-shift crystal ball. She stared at it for a long time, contorting her face into different expressions that caused Katara to give her anxious looks.

"Oh, my. How intriguing," she looked up, plastering a fascinated look on her face, "this is really quite interesting."

"What do you see?"

"You—you are going to have a change of heart."

"A…change of heart?" she sounded engrossed.

"Yes. This will lead to a relationship—possibly marriage—with someone you always thought to be an enemy. Of course, however, first he will reveal himself to not be as bad as you always thought," Lexi didn't think she could be any blunter with her prediction.

"Huh," Katara said thoughtfully.

"Wait a minute—I'm getting another premonition—wow this one is powerful!" Katara was leaning forward in her seat in anticipation. Lexi tried to over dramatize her so called 'fortune teller vision' before she looked up solemnly. "He is taller than you. Right now, he is taller than you and he shall always be taller. You will not marry someone shorter than you. You may like someone shorter than you at the moment; but I assure you; in the near future you will be thinking of him as a Shawty." Lexi glanced at the crystal ball. "The end."

"Thank you, so much for your prediction Aunt Wu," Katara said gratefully.

"Anytime. You have yet to find a time when one of my predictions has not come true," Lexi paused for a spooky emphasis. Then, suddenly, a thought struck her. "By the way, I'm taking some new medication—so if I happen to see you again I probably will not remember meeting or having this conversation with you," Lexi said hastily.

"What?" Katara asked, but Avery pushed her out the door and slammed it shut behind her.

"That was close!" Avery sighed, leaning up against the door and throwing off her cloak.

"Way close," Lexi agreed, taking off her own cloak. The girls had almost completely taken off their disguises when suddenly, the door opened unexpectedly. A short girl in a pink kimono with a missing tooth and wild hair was standing there. Lexi recognized her from Katara's description.

"How did you get in here?" the girl asked after a minute of staring at them in shock.

"Sorry, but there must be no witnesses." A moment later, she found herself crazy glued to the wall next to Aunt Wu.


Authors Note: (Extra Scene)

"Guess what! I found a banana-" the fruit stand guy looked up, an overripe banana in his hand, but the girl who had been standing there just minutes ago was gone. He tried to shrug it off but the memory of what she said to him kept playing in his head.

"Because when Chito doesn't have his bananas, Chito gets upset. And when Chito gets upset; people die!"

Just in case, that night, he kept a baseball bat by his bed.