A Time for Shopping

True to the predictions of both Georg and Max, Maria and Philemona became fast friends. Every day they talked about the ball and what would be expected of Maria. Philemona showed her how a place set at the dining table would be set up, and what utensil was used for what. She also told the young woman a lot about the Eberfields and also about the guests she knew would be coming, to better prepare Maria for the scrutiny she would be under.

Maria couldn't find these lessons more valuable, and she hung on every word. Because this older woman was so like her twin brother, Maria trusted her immediately.

Four days before the ball, Philemona took Maria into Salzburg to find her gown. "Of course you must look beautiful, but you are already beautiful; what you need is a gown that enhances that beauty further; also, we want you to look as though you've been attending such functions all of your life."

"Well, good luck with that," said Maria absently, in awe of all the pretty fabrics that surrounded her in the boutique.

"Let's pick a blue fabric for you," said Philemona, looking at a selection of them. "Your eyes are so lovely; it would be wise to pick something that is inspired by something naturally lovely about you."

"Whatever you say," said Maria, who didn't trust her own opinion about such things she had never dreamed of for herself.

Philemona again noticed the troubled look in Maria's eyes that seemed to have been there since the night she had arrived. She had a feeling that it wasn't just about the ball…


Later, with Maria's new ball gown locked in the car they had taken, Maria and Philemona sat outside a café enjoying a Danish and a cup of tea. Or, Philemona was; Maria had yet to touch her's.

"Maria, are you all right?"

"Hm?" said Maria, looking up quickly and immediately plastering a smile on her face. "Oh, yes, Philemona, I'm fine. I'm just…nervous about the ball. That's natural, isn't it?"

"Of course it is, Maria," said Philemona, giving Maria a gentle look she only gave the people she cared about most. "But I can't help but feeling that there's something else that's worrying you…like the person you'll be going to the ball with."

Philomena immediately reached out her hand to cover Maria's when she saw the young woman's eyes fill with tears. "Maria, you can talk to me. I've known him as long as Max has. I know you and my brother have become close friends and that he's helped you a lot…but sometimes, it can just be easier to talk to a fellow woman. You can trust me, sister."

A tear spilled down Maria's cheek, but just like she had since agreeing to the arrangement, Maria only let that one tear fall and wiped it away. With a deep breath, she calmed herself and squeezed Philomena's hand. "I'm just…so confused."

Philemona nodded; having learned the entire story of what had happened between Maria and Georg from her brother, and witnessing the moment the two had shared the night she arrived, this made perfect sense. The older woman chose against speaking and just waited for Maria to elaborate, which she did.

"It's...I made this decision for the children; I don't regret it, and I love being their mother. But I don't even know the man that's my husband now! What am I supposed to see him as? My brain can't wrap around the fact that the caring father I've been seeing every day for weeks is the monster who grabbed me, kissed me, and turned me into the monster."

Poor girl…"I can't imagine what you're going through, Maria."

Maria sighed and looked up sharply as if she realized something potentially dangerous. "Have you known him long?"

Philemona glanced away for a moment as she tried to recall just how many years. "He came home with Max once on leave…Our house was closer than his family's…Besides that he'd just met Agathe and he was eager to get a lot of female advice." She finished on a chuckle. "So that would make it...around twenty-one years ago."

To her surprise, Maria's expression became even more despondent and she looked down into her lap. "I was afraid of that."

"What do you mean?" asked Philemona.

"You and Max are wonderful, but I'm uncomfortable talking about these things with people who are so close to him. I know if someone spoke to me about my brother in that way, I would have to fight the urge to slap them."

Philemona chuckled. "Just because my brother and I are Georg's friend does not mean we support every action he takes; as friends, it's our job to help him face his mistakes as well as give him motivation and love. After all, if your brother were ever to make a really stupid mistake when he knew better, wouldn't you tell him off for it?"

Maria nodded. "I'd be the first, and it wouldn't be pretty."

Philemona chuckled and took Maria's hand again. "Besides that, I consider you my friend now too, and so does my brother. Don't be afraid to talk to me."

Maria seemed to gain new courage and spoke of their wedding and wedding night. "The only time I'd ever been more shocked was that day by the lake. He hasn't come to my room since, hasn't tried to coerce me or force me into anything I didn't want. In fact, he pretty much leaves me alone completely. It was a month of marriage before we had another one on one conversation. I should be happy, right?

"But, every day, I see him as the father I wanted him to be, so attentive and joyful with his children. I see the considerate and fair way he treats Ellen and Franz and all those who work for him. And considering our wedding night and all the nights after…I don't think someone can fake the kind of…heart that he's shown."

Philemona gave a small smile. "You're right. What you're seeing is the real Georg, the same Georg I knew before Agathe died; he's slowly reclaiming himself. I wish you hadn't met him when he was only the dark shadow of himself, and I wish you didn't have to pay such a huge price for chasing that shadow away."

Maria looked away, mixed emotions in her eyes. "It's hard to see how the children, Max and you all want us to be close, especially when seven of the nine of you don't know the whole story. This is my life now, and I want to do what is expected of me to the fullest." She turned her eyes back to Philemona's; they were tortured. "But how can I when I can't bring myself to come near his door at night? How can I when I don't even know what I'm feeling? Is it good or is it bad? Could we ever be close at all? After what he went through with Agathe? After what I went through in my life? Would it even be worth trying?"

Philemona squeezed her hand. "Neither of you will never know unless you try."

Maria shook her head slightly. "You don't understand," she whispered. "I spent most of my life sure I knew my path, which was to devote my life to God as a nun. In the events of one day, that was torn away. I feel like I can't trust anything anymore…that there is nothing certain left in the world…"

Instantly, Philemona took both of Maria's hands in hers, gripping them tightly. "Look at me, Maria." The younger woman did. "There are certain things in this world. The love you and the children have. The love my brother and I have, and the love that your brother and you have. That Georg will go to the ends of the earth to make sure no one, including himself, will hurt you again. You're not alone, Maria; you can take a new chance."

Maria shut her eyes tight. "But he's so distant, I don't know how to approach him…"

"He thinks that's what you want."

"I don't know myself or what I want anymore, Philemona; that's the simple truth."