A/N: I recommend listening to the song "Fix You" sung by Matthew Morrison; this served as the inspiration for this chapter. The song used in the chapter itself is from Rodgers and Hammerstein's "South Pacific."
A Time to Fix
The small grandfather clock in the master quarter's struck two times when Georg stepped out of his bathroom, drying his wet hair with a towel. Even after a long, hot bath, and even though his body was exhausted, his mind and eyes were wide open and awake. Sleep was not going to come easily tonight, when all he could think of was Maria, and how he'd lost any hope that she might forgive him or care for him.
He'd come so close, remembering the smile they'd exchanged in his study, the look he'd exchanged as he'd sung to the children, how she'd grasped his fingers before going inside the Eberfield estate. If only he hadn't left her…though Philemona had insisted so as not to draw further attention to them and Maria had eventually agreed to it…He should have immediately gone after Zeller, so he could have prevented him getting near her at all…
The only thing he felt he had done right was that he had controlled his impulses to beat Zeller to a bloody pulp. God knows he wanted to, but he remembered Maria: how would she view him if she saw him like that? Her belief that he was a monster would only become so strong he could never change it.
Thank God they'd gotten there in time, before anything truly horrible could happen and Maria was hurt. And he was relieved that he was there to catch her when she had fainted, that he'd been able to hold her at least once…Georg sat on the edge of his bed, imprinting in his soul the memory of her in his arms, knowing he would never feel her warmth, smell her scent, the softness of her hair, again.
He hated how his throat felt choked, and felt more restless than ever. Perhaps some fresh air would do him good. So he got up and put on his pajamas before putting his robe on. He left the master bedroom and came into his private sitting room, which led out onto his balcony. His first thought had been a walk, but decided to just stand on the balcony for a while. Even though the children had school tomorrow – or today, he should say, remembering the time – so the adults had time to sleep in, he knew he'd have to sleep eventually. Perhaps a walk would just make him even more restless. Better settle for the balcony.
So Georg opened the glass doors that led onto his balcony and immediately rested his elbows on the railing, folding his hands. He wished that he was able to even see the beauty of the moonlight on the lake and the trees that were just beginning to change from green to gold.
His thoughts turned to Agathe, and then to Maria. He'd lost the two women who had captured him completely – was he really so horrible to deserve to be alone for all his life?
Not knowing where the words or the tune came from, he let them come out:
"One dream in my heart
One love to be living for
One love to be living for
This nearly was mine
One girl for my dreams
One partner in paradise
This promise of paradise
This nearly was mine
Close to my heart she came
Only to fly away
Only to fly as day
Flies from moonlight
So clear and deep are my fancies
Of things I wish were true
I'll keep remembering evenings
I wish I'd spent with you
I'll keep remembering kisses
On lips I'll never own
And all the lovely adventures
We have never known
Now, now I'm alone
Still dreaming of paradise
Still saying that paradise
Once nearly was mine…"
Georg began to feel some exhaustion now that he'd let some of that off his chest. Perhaps he'd be able to get at least a little sleep now, even though he knew his dreams would be haunting, as usual. So, sighing, Georg walked back into his sitting room with his head down. After closing the balcony doors, he turned around as he looked up.
He stopped in dead shock. He blink hard to make sure he wasn't going mad or already dreaming. But he wasn't.
Maria was standing in the middle of his sitting room, wearing her nightgown and robe, her hair slightly damp, her feet bare and her eyes big and staring, a million emotions swimming there.
"Maria?" he breathed, his eyes as wide as hers.
"I…" she began, her voice small and trembling, like her hands. "I can't sleep…couldn't sleep…" She abruptly lowered her head and tried to take a deep breath. "I…I…"
Georg slowly took a few steps closer, the better to hear her, feeling himself being pulled in her direction. He desperately hoped he wasn't scaring her; he just couldn't help it. Had she heard what he had sung? She must have, but who knows when she had come in, she'd done it so silently.
"I…I feel I've been unfair to you…I'm supposed to be your wife now and I've avoided you like the plagues of Egypt…you've kept your promises but I was too afraid to trust that…and tonight…you saved me tonight…I should…I'm supposed to…"
Now Georg was about two feet from her when he stopped dead upon hearing this. Could she mean…could she possibly mean…When he saw a tear fall from her eye, it confirmed his suspicion. She was nearly sobbing now.
"I have duties now…I don't want to…I've messed up everything else, I can't…It'll hurt a lot but…Oh, God, I'm sorry!"
And with that, Maria collapsed onto his chest, her sobs reflecting how she was falling apart. Georg didn't think but did: immediately his arms wrapped around her, holding his wife securely. He sank to his knees as hers gave out, her sobs becoming almost violent. Kneeling on the ground, Georg held her tight to him, rubbing her back, rocking her back and forth, kissing her head and whispering shushes and comforting words as best he could.
It was in this moment that he knew: any part of his heart that did not belong to her now did. He wasn't falling; he'd fallen. Completely and totally. Three months ago he would have scoffed at the idea that he could love again. But three months ago he'd been a completely different man. Now he was a man in love, and not ashamed to be so. Georg realized that he'd loved her since the first day they'd met, but it had taken a long time for him to fully realize and accept this. He did both now whole-heartedly.
He felt her sobs slowly calm into silent, weak weeping, and Georg, not stopping or wavering in his actions, took this moment for all it was worth, imprinting it in his memory forever. In his lifetime, he'd felt both great joy and great sorrow, but never simultaneously until now. On the one hand, his heart was breaking for her as she broke down in his arms. Thinking of how much she had went through and how strong she had been until now, Georg wished he could somehow fix her broken heart. On the other hand, he was elated. She had come to him, offering all she had, not believing him to be a monster anymore, and had since the start of the evening, even since the invitation, reach out to him for help.
She trusted that he would not hurt her. To Georg, in that moment, it was better than all the riches of the world.
Neither would remember how long it was until Maria's sobs and crying subsided completely, to the point where she was just breathing in and out deeply and evenly, trying to calm herself as much as she could. Georg's embrace did not loosen, his cheek resting on her slightly damp hair, through which he could feel her head hot from crying. His hands continued to rub slow circles on her back, wanting to ease out every tension.
When he felt her slump against his body completely, and her breathing was soft and even, Georg realized she had cried herself to sleep in his arms. For a moment, he was at a loss for what to do. Should he wake her up now? Carry her to his bed, which was nearest? Or try to carry her back to her own bed in her room?
Deciding to try the safest option, the gentlemanly option, Georg scooped up her sleeping figure gently and stood up. But just when he came to the door, her eyes opened a bit and she whispered, "Captain?"
Georg stopped, looking down at his half-awake wife. "Yes, Maria?"
"I don't want to be by myself…please can I stay with you?"
His heart warmed like the sun. "Of course you can."
With that, he carried her into his bedroom. By the time he laid her down on the right side of his king-sized canopy bed, her eyes had closed again and she was again asleep. After tucking the covers in around her, Georg gently wiped her face of the tears that still remained there. My poor love…I promise you, I will never give you cause to cry again.
After turning off all of the lights, Georg removed his robe and carefully got into bed beside her. He lay on his side and looked at her silhouette, barely visible in the dark of the bedroom. He did not touch her again, not wanting to wake her or scare her.
When he felt sleep finally find him, he breathed, "Good night, my love," before he let it take him.
That night, the husband and wife shared the best night of sleep either had had in weeks.
