Not Really Where His Mouth Belongs

He went outside to get some fresh air, for no reason than because Antonio's excitement was suffocating him. Francis was not going to tell Antonio not to be happy, never. But now that the day was here Francis was rather regretting being here.

More than anything, he hated marriage. It had not been on the top of his list before, but it was now. What he hated most: marriage. He could not tell Antonio that, but he would make no secret of that to anyone else. Whether just signing the papers or including an entire wedding, it did not matter anymore. Was he being bitter? Probably.

"Hello, Francis."

Francis looked over at Arthur. Oh typical, Arthur tended to have that impeccable sense of timing for when he really should not have been around. "Early, aren't you?"

"You joking?" Arthur quested, folding his arms across his chest. "Half an hour is all you have left, you know."

Half an hour? Really? Francis sighed, pushing his hair back. "Don't let me stop you," he said, gesturing inside. Was this really the man he had fallen in love with once? Ran away just to spite the people who had not wanted them to stay together?

"Good luck," Arthur responded, no semblance of sarcasm present in his words, despite the fact that Francis tried to hear it.

"Merci," he responded blankly as Arthur went inside. There you go, the reason today bothers me so. I do not doubt Antonio loves Lovino, I do not doubt Lovino loves Antonio. Just as I did not doubt that you loved me, Arthur. Not at all.

Francis returned inside, pushing all of that away and getting ready to be the perfect best man. His hand subconsciously went to the ring in his pocket. The ring of which had its match in the pocket of Elizaveta's dress. The ring was such a cliché romantic gesture. Something Francis had loved to talk about, exploit, do anything with when he was younger. And Arthur had fallen for it. They both had. Rings were stupid, Francis decided. Not that he would say so, never. Not around Antonio.

Do you still have that ring I got you? Not that Francis cared, it was simply a matter of curiosity.

"Francis!"

He turned to see Elizaveta, slightly out of breath. "Ah, what's wrong? You look distressed, mon ami," he commented.

Her words were some of the last he expected to hear right now. "Do you know how to cure hiccups?" she asked him.

"Hiccups?" he repeated, looking at her with surprise. "Why ever would you be asking about hiccups?"

"Because... because Lovino has had them for the past hour and I think he's about to burst into tears," Elizaveta said, grabbing his hand. "Please, give me something to work with here."

Francis waved her on so that she would lead the way, asking what Lovino had already tried and getting this long list, taking practically everything that Francis would have suggested. Crying still seemed like an overreaction, but then again it was Lovino. Francis could see why Lovino would not want to be hiccuping while he walked down the aisle, true. Still...

"Lovino?" Elizaveta called in, opening the door. Both of the brothers were in the room, Lovino facing the corner. Francis entered in front of Elizaveta, making his way over to the hiccuping individual.

"Francis, is there–" Feliciano started to ask, when Francis turned Lovino around by the shoulders so he could look at him. He was crying. Oh no no. You cannot cry today, little tomato. I will not let you. I cannot stand by... letting you be distressed so when you are to marry my best friend.

If today did not go perfectly, Francis would never forgive himself.

"Je suis desolé," he said. Lovino opened his mouth to answer (as Francis had expected) and Francis took the opportunity to stick his tongue down his throat.

"F-Francis!"

"Francis!"

Lovino's fists were beating against him, trying to push him away, but Francis waited ten full seconds before he allowed the man to do so. Coughing, Lovino slapped him. Francis turned his cheek as it hit. It was Lovino. And it did not hurt too much.

"You bastard!" Lovino shouted. "What on earth did you... How could you... On my..." Finally, he stopped talking. Elizaveta was still muttering something behind them, Feliciano was staring at the both of them with wide eyes, but Lovino suddenly seemed to get it.

"Any time," Francis shrugged, responding ahead of time as he straightened up his tie. Lovino flushed, now scowling at the ground.

"Thanks..." the words were practically a whisper. "Just... don't do that again."

"If there is another option, I would gladly take it," Francis smiled, patting him on the shoulder. "Now clean off your face Lovino. You have an event to attend to in a half an hour. You want to look exquisite~"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up," Lovino retorted, walking away from him. Francis turned to see Elizaveta and Feliciano still staring at him.

"Um... thank you?" Elizaveta said, slightly breathless. Even when it was with a man about to be married? Then again, Francis supposed her particular fetish did not have guidelines.

"I should have thought of that," said Feliciano with a sigh. Francis rather hoped that did not mean Feliciano should have thought to play tonsil hockey with his own brother. Even Elizaveta looked like she was squirming about that mental image.

In a bad way.

"I better go get the other groom!" Francis said brightly, leaving the room and situation out of his mind. Today would go well, today would go...

Today would.


Notes:

I hate hour long hiccups. They are so annoying. Especially during weddings. (Though I would not personally know about that last bit.)

And Feliciano meant the whole shocking the hiccups out of you. That one tends to work as well (as far as I am concerned), but it really is difficult to get really surprised while you are hiccuping. Because those who usually try and surprise you are too obvious about it.

Gilbert nervous, Antonio angry, and Francis bitter? Oh, the Trio is fascinating, especially when I give them emotions which I think should (in a normal situation) be shifted one place to the right. These three are simply a wonder to write for.

I am out of town for a couple days. Updates will continue as usual on Sunday. I will likely have a double update then, so keep an eye out for that.