Apologies for the delay in getting this online, small holiday in the swiss alps in between chapters and no laptop with me. Anyway the adventure continues, we last left Ace having won the election battle.

High above Ace a trap door in the cage roof opened and Rimmers mother descended down to the cage floor using a small cable attached to her waist. She landed beside him.

"Arnold, that was quite a show." She said, sounding impressed.

Deep inside the hologram matrix the original Rimmer imprint shed a small tear. Had his mother really just praised him?

Then he head Ace's smooth tones who still had control. "What, that, little thing, that's nothing, just standard combat training moves. Now what I could really do with is a hot shower, a bucket of Champaign and a half dozen pleasure Gelfs." Said Ace flicking over his hair.

Rimmers mother eyed him in a new light, but then she remembered where they were and turned to the crowd. She took Rimmers hand and held it aloft.

"People of Hive town we have a victor, we have a new leader." She said holding Rimmers hand high in the air while the crowd cheered.

Ace looked at Rimmers Mother. "Leader? Afraid that might be a wee bit of a problem." He said cocking an eye at her.

His mother glared at him. "WHAT!"

"You see me and the boys up there, we don't have plans to stay." Said Ace gesturing to Lister and the others.

She continued to glare at him in utter disgust. "It's not up to you, your just a graft on my sons mind, you will die soon and he is weak, he will bend to his mothers way." She said smiling.

Ace thought about it for a second and decided his plan was better. He twisted free of her grip and turned it around so that he now wrapped his arms around her body. Then he took hold of the cable line that she used to descend to the cage floor and pressed the retract button on her waist. The two of them began to climb up towards the roof.

Rimmers mother struggled under his grip. "What are you doing, let me go! I'm your mother, do as I say!" she shrieked.

"Sorry, can't do that." Said Ace smirking and noticing that the others up top had their mouths hanging open.

Soon Ace and his captive joined them on top of the cage roof.

"Davy boy, seems we need to make a swift exit." Said Ace releasing the chains from Lister and the others.

"Ace is that you?" said Lister.

"Kind of, I've taken over Arnold for a bit, to get us out of this little fix." Said Ace.

Rimmers mother was still in Aces grip but was now barking orders at Gelf guards below.

"Do you have a plan sir?" asked Kryten nervously.

"Course I do Kryters. I'll over power one of the guards, kidnap mother here and blast our way back to Starbug." Said Ace looking and sounding totally confident that this was a full proof plan.

Rimmers mother laughed. "You haven't got the balls Arnold."

"That's were you're wrong, got two great big love spuds down here so if your excuse me a second I've got work to do." Said Ace who then turned to face the now approaching guards.

She made a move unhappy at being man handled like some oversized piece of luggage and made to speak but Ace cut her off.

"Now if you would not mind shutting up for a second old girl. I need to do a spot of guard bashing." Said Ace, passing her over to Lister. "Don't let her go Davy boy, whatever she promises you, and that includes a case of double strength larger." Said Ace giving Lister a knowing nod.

"Old GIRL! Nobody talks to me like that." She said going red in the face.

Lister grinned. "Well he just did."

Ace turned to leave but suddenly bent double in pain.

"Sir, are you alright?" asked Kryren going straight into concerned mode.

"Nothing a little aspirin won't cure." Said Ace straightening himself then continuing on down the cages steps towards the approaching guards.

Mrs Rimmer had spotted the pain in Ace's eyes too and smiled. "Arnold's software is rejecting him." She said happily.

Ace Rimmer waited for the first of the five guards that were approaching his position. He was still high on the metal dome and the walkway/ladder was not very wide, he checked his footing and watched the guards closely. They seemed unsure as if they should fire or not, but did seem intent on reaching him.

The first and biggest of the five came within striking distance and Ace met the him with a kick that flicked him off the frame while simultaneously taking the pulse gun from the guards hand as he fell over the edge screaming too the dusty floor below. The others wavered for a second startled by the efficiency of their opponent. Ace used this time to maximum effect and let off a series of rounds at the remaining guards, felling each in turn.

He looked over his shoulder and beckoned for the others to follow. "Come on chaps, let's get this show on the road shall we?"

They nodded and began to gingerly make their way down the steps behind him. Lister who still had hold of Mrs Rimmer poked her in the back. "If you would not mind?" she complied if a little slowly so Lister prodded her again and grinned.


Somehow they had made it back to Starbug, Ace had used his weapon with deadly precision and had taken out the towns fuel dump with one single shot sending a fireball high into the sky.

Lister, Cat and Kryten stood looking at Rimmers mother, who was sat in the mid section of Starbug.

"Now give us the start-up code Mrs R and make it quick, this kitty is well over due his bath time." Said the Cat looking pained.

"Yeah, the games up, you loose give us the key?" said Lister joining in the cats circling of her, like some good cop bad cop routine..

She scowled at them. "Do you think you can win, I always win! My guards will be right now setting up a steel cutter to get in here and rescue me." She finished confidently.

Ace appeared from the flight deck, and leant against the door frame. "Don't listen to her Davy boy, she's lost and this time we win." Said Ace.

"How so Arnold, I have the code and you have nothing." Returned Rimmers mother laughing.

"Lister could you join me back here for a second?" asked Ace turning and going back onto the flight deck.


Lister walked into the flight deck to find Rimmer bent over holding his head. He looked up at Lister. "It's started; his program is purging me from the host hologram software."

"Smeg, that's not good, well it kinda is but oh smeg, what we going to do?" Was all Lister could manage.

Ace put on a brave face and smiled. "Well good for old Iron balls but bad for getting the code out of mother, if she knows I'm no longer in control she will not budge an inch, poor old Arn doesn't stand a chance against her." Said Ace through a pained expression.

"You going to be OK?" asked Lister knowing that Ace's time was almost up.

"Sure, you know me been through worse scrapes." Said Ace placing a hand on Listers shoulder for support.

"Look, I'll talk to her, maybe she will listen to reason." Said Lister hopefully.

"Reason, the women does not no the meaning of the word, no I'll do it Dave." Said Ace removing his hand from Listers shoulder and straightening.

"OK man, good luck." Said Lister watching Ace walk back into the mid section.


"Right, it's done." Said Ace out loud.

"What sir?" asked Kryten.

"The thing, you know the communication to the citizens of this town." Said Ace watching for a reaction from his mother. She was watching him intently, as he hoped she would.

"What have you said?" she asked scowling at him.

"Simply told them you're dead." He said casually.

"What!" she screamed.

"Yeah, dead, you know six feet under deader than spandex pants with zip flies." Said Ace rubbing salt further into her open wound.

"You can't, they, I mean they need me and well they will see though it as the lie it is!" She said scowling.

Well Kryten here told them, and the great thing about the series 4000 mech is that everyone knows they can't lie. Well all expect this one that is, all thanks to Davy boy here and his training." Said Ace slapping Kryten around the shoulder.

"Yes brutal!" said Lister punching the air.

Aronld Rimmers mother looked worried, her world, everything she had every built was falling down around her ears, and once more her retched son was to blame.

She pointed a finger directly at Ace with a look that could kill a goat cold dead. "YOU, I WISH YOU ARNOLD J. RIMMER had never been BORN!"

Ace winched, and she thought her words had struck home, but in reality it was the hologram matrix applying the purge. Ace look up at Lister standing in the door way from the flight deck, he smiled and gave him one final wink, then closed his eyes.

Lister knew that Ace was gone, Rimmer would be back online in seconds and then Mrs Rimmer would hold her power over him once more.

"Look give us the code and we will put things right." Said Lister.

Rimmers mother finally relented. "545654345 – 1" she said.

Lister nodded to Kryten who responded by going over to the console and tapping in the digits she had provided. A message flashed up on screen.

'Flight systems restored.'

"We have control sir, the computer has let us in." said Kryten excitedly.

Just then Rimmers head flicked up. "What, what's going on?" he said sounding slightly confused.

"It's Ok Rimmer, you Mother here has just given us the code." Said Lister.

"OH really, great. Well been lovely to see you again mother but we really must be leaving now." Said Rimmer in an enthusiastic tone and turning to Kryten. "Kryten, can you escort my mother out please."

Kryten looked at him his square features pulling into a confused look. "Sir, you plan to leave her here, you mother, the person that gave you life."

Rimmer nodded at Kryten. "Yes, now chop chop, if you please."

Kryten moved to untie Rimmers mother while Lister approached Rimmer.

"Look man I know you and your mum have issues, but do you really want to do this?" he asked.

"Lister, if my mother and I visited a planet populated by Sigmand Froid it would still not be enough shrink time to work out our issues." Said Rimmer walking toward the cot pit.

Before he stepped across the threshold of the door, he turned and looked back one final time at the old lady standing next to Kryten. She looked frail and beaten. Maybe he had won this time, but why didn't it feel good. All these years he had wanted to best his mother and now finally he had done it, so why did it taste so bitter sweet. He shrugged and turned to enter the cot pit. Only a voice stopped him, his mothers voice.

"Arnold." She called her tone slightly trembling.

He stood there, and then said quietly. "Yes mother?"

"Arnold, I, I… I'm sorry." She stammered.

Rimmer stood motionless, his mother never apologised.

"Would you stay if I asked you to stay?" she said looking up with big sorry eyes.

And there it was, she wanted something, she wanted him to stay. His emotions took a nose dive, what the hell was this, his mother wanting him, this was new. Then he rain checked, hang on this is just another way to get me to do what she wants. He lifted his chin and stuck his chest out.

"No mother, I am staying with my friends." There he had said it, he had stood up to her. It might have taken over three million years but he had done it.

His mothers face changed in an instant, the woeful look became a grin. "OK Arnold, play it your way, once you let me go we will shot this craft out the sky, and I at last will be rid of the sperm that turned into you."

Lister looked shocked, he was sure she had been genuine but it was all a front. He nodded to Kryten. "Show Mrs Rimmer out would you."

"See ya Rimmers mum, time to go." Said Lister giving her a little wave.

Rimmers mother strode away from the small green craft towards her command centre, Gelfs scattered out of her path. "GET THE ELECTRO WEAPON READY" she commanded.


Lister sat at his flight seat with the others at their normal places. "Right guys let's go." He said hitting the retro.

Rimmer stood up. "Wait!"

Lister stopped what he was doing and turned to look at Rimmer who looked worried. "What is it Rimmer?" he asked.

"I think she was serious about her threat. I think she might try and shoot us down." Said Rimmer.

"What, naw she wouldn't kill her own son Rimmer." Said Lister.

"I am sure Mr Lister is correct, history and nature is littered with examples of mothers protecting their young." Said Krytern beginning the long task of removing the planets dust from each and every crevice on his body.

"Yes, but my history is littered with close shaves which my mother has not shown great love in saving her least favourite son." Said Rimmer.

"She's right, if he was my son I'd kill him." Said the Cat grinning.

Lister threw an empty cup at the Cat. "Cat you're not helping."

"What the smeg do we do. We can't just sit here?" said Lister his hand hovering over the reheat controls.

Rimmer sat back down. "Look I've got a plan."

The Cat looked worried ."You have? Is this the sort of plan were I should go decide what suit I want to wear in my coffin or should I just wait and see how much of me is left once we get blown out of the sky?"

"Better, it's the kind of plan were we get to go home." Said Rimmer smiling.