Disclaimer: Not mine. Not even Emmett. *cries*


EMPOV

Dun-dun-dun-dun! Emmett the Great is here to brighten up your day! I am the handsomest, the smartest, and the sexiest! I make girls faint, but my heart belongs to my one and only Rosie! So, sorry girls, just go and annoy Gayward or something.

"EMMETT!" My little cutie-patootie sister said. I ran down the stairs with my super awesomeness.

"Yes, baby darling?" I asked. She rolled her eyes. Le GASP. How dare she?

"Uh, nuh-uh sissy. Thou shall not roll your eyes at me, mhm." I said in one of those bitchy tones. I got it from watching movies with my Rosie. Ah, my beautiful, hot, Rosie. Oh the things I could do to her...

"EMMETT ARNOLD TIMOTHY MCCARTY CULLEN!" Ali-tootie screamed. She was waving her tiny cute arms like a maniac.

"Yes, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen?" I asked her back.

"Thou shall take a bath and get fucking DRESSED!" She screamed, mocking me. I put my hand on my heart, acting as if it broke my heart. She tapped her foot and pointed towards my room. I ran upstairs, scared for my life. You don't know what that little thing could do to you..Mental shudder.

Flashback

"EMMETT ARNOLD TIMOTHY MCCARTY CULLEN! WHERE ARE IS MY PURSE?" My cutie pie sister, Alice screamed. Wait..purse? I didn't take it..I think.

"I didn't take it, Allie-boo!" I yelled back. I stood there, waiting for her response. I heard things crashing and something breaking. Then I heard loud footsteps coming down.

"YOU DIDN'T TAKE IT? WELL, WHAT'S THIS I FOUND IN YOUR ROOM?" She screeched, holding her black purse in front of me.

"HEY! In my defence, I forgot I took it!" I reasoned.

"Oh yeah? Well then, how about I forgot that VIOLENCE IS A BAD THING?" She yelled and stomped on my foot with her 5 inch heels. OUCH! I lifted up my foot and started cradling it. Then I felt my ear being pulled. She managed to pull me to the garage, beside my jeep. She took a hammer and positioned to hit me. I closed my eyes, waiting for the hit.

SMASH!

I opened my eyes to see that she didn't smash me, but the hood of my jeep. Then, she started breaking all the windows, and pounding on my car. I just sat there, dumbfounded. I couldn't believe it. My little sister had the strength to inflict damage on my super hot red jeep!

I started crying. I cried for my jeep, my manliness and my ego. Alice ruined them all. I never want to be on her bad side again. EVER AGAIN.

End of flashback

See, a painful memory. I quickly bathed myself with hot water and sprayed Axe on me. I started picking out the clothes when I saw clothes on my bed. I shrugged and picked up some boxers and undershirt. I wore them and took the outfit Alice had most probably took out for me. It was a navy blue shirt saying, "Me and my muscles" with biceps in the picture. Suits me well. Then, dark wash jeans and my Nike running shoes. I combed my hair and ran down the stairs.

"Happy, oh little Alice the fashionable Pixie?" I asked her and twirled. Yeah, I know. I twirled. It's a daily routine, and if you didn't do that, you'll get punishment from Alice. She nodded, agreeing with what I'm wearing. I heard my Rosie coming in the house. I ran to her and gave her wet, sloppy kisses. She responded with the same passion. I ate my breakfast happily, which were cooked by mommy Esme. I grinned.

I put all of the pancakes in my mouth, cut some butter, put it in my mouth, took some maple syrup and squirted it in my mouth. I chomped on it happily and when I finished, I brushed my teeth and ate some breath mints. I then walked Rosie to my new and improved Jeep. We drove towards school in a completely, fabulously, peaceful trip.

I stopped the engine when we arrived in school. Oh, many people. The pranks I could do to Newton and his ugly wannabe athletes. Or maybe I could also prank the Skanks (Jessica, Lauren, and their posse.). Then I listened to what my babe was talking about.

"Oh my God! Have you watched the latest news? Isabella Swan, is a runaway! I mean, she escaped the clutches of her mom and went away. Nobody knows where she is, except her assistant, Angelica. She won't talk!" My eenie meenie sister, Alice chirped. She's talking about Isabella Swan again. She's the most famous model ever, from what I've heard. I'm a mega huge, super duper, ultra fan! I have got her posters and her magazines in my room. She posed on one of my most favourite magazine, FHM. Just once, so far and the best. If I wasn't dating my Rosie, I'd totally hit on her and make her mine. Then I'll take her to la-la-land and get married with a teddy priest!

"I know right! I mean, she could be anywhere by now! The fashion business won't survive without her!" My oh-so beautiful Rosie added. Did I mention that my Rosie is absolutely beautiful? Yeah? Oh. Just then a car entered the school parking lot. A Bugatti Veyron. Oh, pretty car. :)

Then, the door opened. A very sexayy leg came out. Then another. It was definitely a her. Her legs are like, so pretty and so creamy and so long. Then a person stepped out of the car. OHMYGOD! Dreams really do come true! It's ISABELLA SWAN! EEEEP!

She's GORGEOUS. She has pretty long brown hair, and a heart shaped face. She also had very pretty brown eyes! Oh and her body. She was as sexayy as my Rosie. Or probably sexier. Her curves are just HOT and her boobs are big. Man, I'm in deep shit. I'm fantasizing about another girl. But, who can't? Oh yeah, daddy Carlisle. I think, even gays would go straight if they saw her in real life.

Then a pin dropped. I don't know why, it just did. I looked at it for a while then saw Isabella Swan jogging towards the school. Her boobs bouncing and her ass swaying. I was just staring at her. I think there might be even drool somewhere along my mouth.

I faintly heard my Rosie and Alice say something.

"That's... that's.." Mini-sissy, Alice was speechless. Woah, I think this is the first time Allie-bear has been speechless. Wow, I should mark this date on the calendar.

"Isabella Swan!" My Rosie squealed. Edward snapped his fingers and I came back to the real world. I wasn't even aware that Jazzy-nut was doing the same thing, staring at the space where Isabella Swan was last at. I wiped my drool and shook my head.

BEST DAY SO FAR!


Author's Note: People, don't expect my updates to come fast. Summer is near, so wait until it's here, and I'll try to update every 2 days or something. So, please bear with me. :)

READ AND REVIEW!

xxx,A. 3