Hi, another story folds to a close, thanks all for reading, I hope you enjoyed this little adventure.

Rimmer and the others sat at there stations in Starbug, no one moved until finally Lister spoke.

"Err Rimmer, so what's this plan?" he asked.

"What." Said Rimmer distracted by some internal thought that had stolled across his mind. "OH yes, the plan right. Kryten what is their weapon status could we get airborne?" asked Rimmer hopefully.

Kryten scanned his console. "Well, according to these readings sir, they have a rather big electro gun, and judging by it's size I would say we might survive one hit but a second and it would be ice cream Sunday all over the place." He finished looking worried.

"OK, right Lister fire up the retros and on my mark Cat you get us the smeg out of here, got it?" said Rimmer almost sounding like he was in command.

Lister looked slightly concerned. "Rimmer, that's your plan, we simply do a runner and hope that we don't get gazapped out of the sky."

"Yep, that's about the size of it." Confirmed Rimmer.

"That's one crap plan buddy, even I could come up with a better plan than that." Said the Cat from his seat.

Rimmer stared at the others seriously. "Look, have you got any better suggestions?" he asked.

Lister looked hopefully over at Kryten seeking some assurance that he had a better plan but Kryten simply shook his head. He admitted to himself that he also had nothing.

"OK so we do a runner, but we need some sort of distraction." Said Lister.

Rimmer sat thinking and then an idea formed, frankly it was brilliant, why the smeg had he not thought of it before. He stood up. "Kryten mid section, Lister you get ready, your know when OK."

Lister eyed him suspiciously. "Sure Rimmer."


Rimmer clicked the button for the external door and the air hissed as the pressure seal gave way. He squinted while his eyes adjusted to the glare of the twin suns and gulped. 'This had better work.' He thought.

Outside the small mining craft a dozen gelfs stood back from the loan figure standing in the door way, at first unsure what to do and when Rimmer stepped forward they follwed suite only backwards. Rimmer smiled inwardly, they still thought he was Ace. Good he could use that. He stood up as straight and cocksure as he could and walked forward about 20 paces, far enough to get clear of the crafts engines.

"I want to talk to my mother!" he called.

The crowed of Gelfs looked confused.

Rimmer tried a different tack.

"I want to talk to the one who is your leader, the human women." He said more slowly.

A gelf broke off from the pack and disappeared back through the crowd.

'Ok so far so good.'Thought Rimmer.


Back up in the cot pit Lister was having kittens, he was watching the scene outside on the vid screen. "What the smeg is he doing Kryten, why did you let him leave?" said Lister getting up from his seat.

"Calm down sir, Mr Rimmer has a plan." Said Kryten

"What, go back outside and say pretty please?" said Lister sarcastically.

The cat grinned. "Hey that might just work?"

"Sirs if you would look closely at Mr Rimmer you I think you will get the jest of his plan." Said Kryten smugly.

Lister and the Cat both leant forward and examined the image of Rimmer on the screen, at first Lister didn't see anything, then Lister noticed what Rimmer had behind his back. He turned around and questioned Kryten.

"Is that the matter transfer paddle, he's holding?" he said.

"Indeed it is sir, Mr Rimmer when the time is right will transport himself back onto the pad in the cargo bay when we have gained enough height." Kryten said.

"Hey, that's pretty clever for goal post head, but one question guys, what's a matter thing bob?" Said the Cat grinning an insanely big grin.

"It's a teleporter." Informed Krtyen.


The crowd began to part and Rimmers mother walked back into view.

"Mother, I want to talk?" said Rimmer as calmly as he could muster with 20 or sow trigger happy Gelfs in front of him.

"My dear boy, what about, I thought you made your choice." Said his mother her smooth confident tones fully returned to her.

Rimmer paused for a second then forced himself to continue. "Mother, I want to stay, but there are some conditions." He said quickly hoping she would not detect his lie.

His mother could not hide her pleasure at winning him over, and smiled. "My dear Arnold you know you might make a decent son after all. What are these conditions?" she asked.

Rimmer stumbled, he had not really given that part of the plan much thought, but he did know the first one.

"One, you have to let my crew mates go unharmed." He said.

His mother waved it aside as thought it was nothing. "Done, I have no need for them." She said casually.

Rimmer turned his head to nod at what he hoped was the direction of the external camera on board Starbug.

"Two, you give me my own quarters and a lock on the door." He said looking back at her.

She smiled, another easy one. "Done anything else my dear boy, we do have rather a lot of things to discuss you know."

Rimmer thought hard then said. "I want…" he paused summoning up the courage to ask. "I want you to tell me you love me mother?"

The crowd of Gelfs smirked and sniggered but he ignored them. "That mother is my final demand, then I will stay."

He watched her face carefully; the smile had faded at these last words. Was it such a hard request, just to say those magic three words to him once?

She stood silently the dust swirling around her feet while she battled with her internal hate for her son until at last she opened her mouth.

"Arnold." She started.

He nodded.

"Arnold, I….. I love you son." She said the words grating from her mouth.

However it was more than enough for Rimmer who stood on that dusty landing pad with a single tear rolling down his face. There she did love him; she had said it, the one thing he had craved for all his life, the love of his mother.


Lister looked on at the scene below, the audio link picking up the coms from below. He watched as Rimmer stood silently after his mothers statement.

"What do we do know?" he asked.

Kryten shrugged. "I guess we go, Mr Rimmer will activate the pad once we are at a safe distance."

Lister slapped the re-heat and watched as clouds of dust enveloped the crowd below.


Rimmer stood his ground while the dust whirled around him he didn't look up his gaze was fixed on his mothers location. Inside him a battle raged between his logic and his hopes. He hoped for all this planet could offer that his mother was serious, maybe it could work, he could stay, but then the doubt, the years of put downs from her, the scars from her tongue went deep.

Starbug began to climb slowly up into the sky and soon the dust began to settle and once more Rimmer could see his mother who was now laughing.

'Why was she laughing.' Screamed Rimmers brain, which was in denial about the truth that she had lied once again.

"My dear dear boy, did you really think those words meant anything to me, now that your ship has gone and there is no hope of escape I can use you as I wish." Said his mother cackling to herself all the while.

Rimmer wiped the tears from his eyes and a slow grin spread across his face.


Onboard Lister looked at the height read-out and was getting worried. "Smeg, he's got to activate it soon, we don't know it will work this far out." He said anxiously.

"Don't worry sir, I am sure Mr Rimmer will be along any time now." Said Kryten doing his very best to disguise his own concern about this part of the plan.

"What you mean the higher we go the less likely goal post head won't be joining us." Said the Cat grinning.

"That's about the size of it sir." Confirmed Kryten.

"Well why didn't you tell me earlier." Said the Cat pressing the accelerator lever to maximum.


Rimmer pulled the paddle from behind his back and watched his mothers smile turn to a look of puzzlement.

"What's that, some kind of weapon?" she said.

"No it's my goodbye." Said Rimmer simply.

A nearby Gelf leant over and whispered something in her ear causing the her face to turn to anger.

"You CAN'T, YOU CAN'T LEAVE!" she cried making a move towards him.

"Goodbye mother." Said Rimmer pressing the paddles button.

He faded from the surface and an instant later was standing on the pad in the cargo bay.


Kryten beamed. "We have him, Mr Rimmer is safely aboard."

"Really, dam these slow retro engines." Sighed the Cat.

"Kryten you take over man, I'm going to find him." Said Lister getting up from his station.


Lister met Rimmer crossing the hatch way from the cargo deck.

"Alright man, you OK?" asked Lister.

Rimmer nodded then stopped. "Actually for a second down there I thought about staying, even through I knew deep down she was using me still."

Lister shuffled awkwardly. "Must have been rough, do you think you made the right choice?" he asked.

Rimmer looked him in the eye, a look of true certainty held Listers gaze. "Yes! Now if you don't mind I've got somethings to be doing." Said Rimmer stepping past Lister and heading to his quarters.

The End