The Bit O' Wit
Once Maddox had brushed his hands off of his latest prank, he decided he might turn in for the night. He had been particularly fond of tying Eduard's shoelaces together and in spiking Arthur's already alcoholic drink. The latter was hoping that Arthur might notice how quickly he was sinking down and take a break, but who ever knew how that would turn out.
The former was just funny.
Francis... was just so the man knew he was serious about leaving Dad alone.
He climbed up into the rafters again to take down some of the recording equipment he had put up there. These he was sure to be careful with. They were Heidi's and she had saved up her own money to buy these. Maddox did not always appear to care about personal property, not that he went out and destroyed it or anything.
But truth was, he did not.
Most of the time.
Setting them on a table, Maddox made himself scarce. He still wanted to get home before Way of the Dragon was on. But there was one person he needed to see before he vanished from the proceedings.
"...what do you think?"
"I... I can assume she would like them."
Heidi took in a deep breath, smiled broadly at her brother, then ran over to show whatever she had to Natalia. Maddox dropped down behind Vash and gripped the shorter man's chest.
"Guess who. Or am I not doing this correctly?"
Vash did not even bother to turn around. Though, to his credit, he had flinched. Some policeman he would be if he did not have some immediate reaction to someone grabbing him from behind. It was why Maddox spoke up so quickly after doing it. He only required a few times of grappling with the other to decide that surprising someone who was very quick to pull out their gun was not the best idea. "I take it you are done with the crowd?" Vash asked, voice rather mild. Maddox let go of him.
"Yes. I figured I will simply let you fish out the crimes I have committed instead of committing more and giving you a greater likelihood of finding them."
"Do I have to remind you that if I have the belief you have done something wrong I can simply take you in?"
"Just me, right? I think I should have to become jealous if you took anyone else in, whether they have committed a crime or not."
"It is funny that you jump on that part of my sentence as opposed to the other."
"Other?" Maddox questioned as Vash finally turned around to see him. "You mean about the fact you actually have to have some proof and not just a belief? I think that–"
Either Vash knew what he was going to say or he had been planning on doing this anyway. Whichever the case was, Maddox found himself frozen with Vash's lips pressed against his.
He was not sure if it was good that the first thought that came to mind was how glad he was that Vash was not as forceful about this as he had been in his dreams. Well, there was that and then there was the fact that he liked this much better than what had happened in his dreams. Not just because he was not getting ticketed, of course.
Vash pulled away, face straight despite the fact it was red. Maddox tried to think of something to say, but his mind was coming up blank.
"I... can always count on you being straight forward," Maddox finally said. Vash covered a cough as he looked away. "Except when it comes to your sexuality." Vash glared at him. "Of which I am properly grateful for–"
Vash jabbed a finger into his chest. "Please refrain from finishing that sentence."
"I am going to steal food from Arthur's refrigerator."
"You are going home to eat. Good night then."
Maddox nodded, stood there awkwardly for a moment, and then kissed Vash on the cheek before returning home. He made himself a wife cake, ate it while watching his movie, noted that neither Alfred or Arthur were home yet, shrugged it off, and went to bed.
As he lay there staring up at the ceiling, he hiccuped.
It took him a long time to get to sleep.
Notes:
Wife cake? There is seriously something that translates to wife cake? It is actually called 老婆餅, but the translation still stands as a wife (or sweetheart) cake. More proof of how different cultures can accept things. Then again, I am still getting over the fact that A-shirts are called 'wife beaters'. In the former Soviet Union, A-shirts are known as 'alkogolichka' because they are apparently worn by alcoholics. Keep those things in mind before you go shopping for one, you abusive alcoholics you.
That is the end of the hiccups, ladies and gentlemen. Maddox wakes up and they are gone. Maddox having hiccups is probably the most entertaining thought I have had today. I do not know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
I have a one shot to write, placed between this day and the other day, in which lies everyone else's reactions to Vash and Maddox being a couple. The next poll I put up about one shots will have that as an option.
