Danny was going to Alice's. He needed to find out what was going on! He didn't bother with the front door. Her dad was an asshole! He grabbed the ladder and scrambled up it. Alice's window was open slightly. He slid his hand inside and unhooked the latch. Alice seen him and shrieked. He climbed through the window.
"I'm not leaving till…" he then saw her place a tablet in her mouth and take a gulp of water.
"Oh my god!" he shouted as he saw her go for another tablet. He walked over and whacked the box out of her hand. The contents scattered onto the floor. "What the hell do you think your doing?" he asked.
"It's none of your business Danny. Leave me alone." she said.
"It is my business when someone I love is doing something stupid!" he replied.
"Danny just leave me today was the last straw!" she said.
Alice stood up to collect the tablets off the floor, her legs felt rubber and she stumbled back onto the bed. She yawned deeply and blinked.
"Alice how many did you take?" he asked.
She yawned again and lay down. She then grinned at him.
"Tell me now! HOW MANY!" Danny shouted almost hysterical.
"Love you Danny." She lifted her hand to his face but her arm felt weak. "Bye bye." she fell into a deep sleep she wasn't moving.
"Alice stay awake. Don't go to sleep dammit!"
No No No No NO, he didn't know how many tablets she'd taken!
(X)
Alice was drifting. She saw her mum. Had it worked? She thought happily. She hadn't taken many. She tried to remember but couldn't.
"Mum?" she asked.
"Alice!" her mother replied angrily.
Alice frowned sadly. "What's the matter I thought you'd be happy to see me!"
Her mother laughed but the sound held no humour. "What? Happy to see my teenage daughter dead?" she paused. "God Alice you've done some stupid things in your time but this, this is the most idiotic, stupidest foolish thing you have ever done!" she said yelling.
Alice was in shock, her mother only yelled at her when she was angry.
"I needed to be with you mum - you don't understand!" she said tears welling.
"Alice I taught you to stand on your own two feet! I know you need me, there'll always be times you'll need me but Alice I'm gone! And killing yourself doesn't solve anything. What about the people you leave behind? Did you not think that you were on my mind everyday when I died?"
"No-one cares about me!" she said moodily. "Missy and Shauna…" she started.
"if you watched the news you would see that the internet has completely went down in Glasgow. They're hoping to get it up and running soon! And what about Danny? How is he going to feel when he finds out what you've done. God you've got a good lad there and you do this. If I had found someone like him when I was your age you wouldn't even be here!"
"Danny'll get over it - me quick enough! It's too hard mum."
"Life isn't easy Alice you've got to grow up and face the world head on." she said. "Danny is there to support you."
Her mother suddenly started fading.
"Mum!" she muttered. "No!" she said sharply. She then noticed she had a powdery taste in her mouth she was lain on something soft. She heard the strains of pink in the background. She listened to her. They reminded her of Danny.
And he's a real good guy and he
Wants to save her 'cause he's
More than been there all before
And she's so confused and his heart is breaking and he
Dreams she's knocking on his door
She opened her eyes and noticed Danny sat on the floor by her bed. His head on the mattress muttering. God was he praying?
"Please God let her be all right. She's got to be. I'll do anything! Just don't let her leave me!" he was saying over and over like a mantra.
"Danny." she said. It came out like a croak. Her mouth was so dry.
His head shot up off the bed. "Alice?" he said.
She was looking at the ceiling getting her bearings. "Alice." he said again and shook her, tears were in his eyes. "I knew I should of taken you to hospital but the box only had 2 tablets missing!" he said stroking her hair. "C'mon Alice, talk to me please." he pleaded. It was like she was frozen, her eyes glued to the ceiling. She turned her head and looked at him. She smiled a small grin. His face was suddenly relieved.
"Alice, for god's sake don't scare me like that. You took 10 years off my life! When I'm a old man I'm going to need those 10 years!" he said and laughed lightly.
"I'm sorry Danny. It was a foolish thing to do!" the next thing she was going to do was another foolish thing but it was needed to be done!
"How many tablets did you take Alice?" he asked.
"Only two." she replied. "They are the fast acting ones though. With my little frame I'm surprised they didn't knock me out for days. i thought they were the extra strenth ones to be honest."
"I'm glad you weren't asleep long. You were only out for an hour and a half. If you didn't wake up soon I was phoning a ambulance. Alice you scared me so bad!" he said and caressed her cheek. "You didn't move at all!" he was silent for a moment. "Tell me what happened at school."
Alice sat up on her bed and ran her fingers through her hair. She took a deep breath. She wasn't good enough for him. Let him find someone who is! Someone better than her. "I meant what I said at school!" she said.
"No you didn't!" he said. His voice sounded firm but trembled a bit. His eyes were wide and cloudy.
"I think we should break up!" she said and looked at her clasped hands which rested on her knee.
"Like hell! Tell me whose idea is this?" he asked angrily.
"Look Danny we're too intense!" she said. Her heart was breaking. God let him just take it and leave. This was hurting! Her whole body felt like it was folding in on itself!
"Look at me Alice!" he said.
"No!" she replied. Her voice wobbled full of emotion.
He raised her chin with his finger and looked into her eyes. He saw her blue eyes swimming with tears. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me. If you can do that I will leave you alone. Promise!" he demanded fiercely.
"I…." she faltered. His green eyes just killed her. "I can't!" she said.
"Why then Alice. Just tell me why!" he asked.
"Your too good for me Danny! Your perfect and I treated you abysmally. I hurt you and don't say I didn't. there was no reason for it either! I've got a nasty temper which I struggle to control at the best of times. And I refuse to turn it on you!" she told him pleading with him to understand.
Danny smiled and pulled her into his arms. They were now kneeling on the floor in front of each other. "It's sweet of you to try and protect me but really Alice I can take anything you throw at me as long as I know you love me!"
"That's not the point Danny!" she said.
"No Alice the point is that I love you and I'm not giving you up. You're a fever in my blood which is untreatable. If your not with me the fever will just consume me and I'll cease to exist. If you push me away Alice, I'll cling on stronger your part of my heart Alice and it's pretty essential to life so your stuck with me!"
Danny had a stubborn set to his jaw. There was no budging him when he was like this. It would have deterred anyone else but not her. He grabbed her hand and squeezed them he pleaded with her with his eyes.
"Please Alice, don't do this to us," because she was doing it to both if them. She was hurting as much as he. "I'm not a better person than you. I'm a better person WITH you. Don't break my heart!"
Alice stuck to her guns. "It's for the best Danny." she said softly.
His face went like stone. He dropped her hands and stood up. He rubbed her face. He placed a 3 doors down cd in her hi-fi and put on track 7. Behind those eyes. He then said to her,
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing I can say
Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide
He then pressed play on the cd and left her room.
There, it was done. Danny could find someone better than her, someone who could make him happier than she ever could. Inside her though she felt empty. Like a shell laying on a cold beach. Her heart a decimated crater in which Danny's love used to fill. She took off his eternity ring and looked at it as it lay in her hand. This didn't belong to her.
Danny left the house quickly. Everything she'd said to him all lies. All that time spent was all a deception. Was she testing him. Wondering whether boys in Bristol were more gullible than up in Scotland. She said she loved him. He scoffed. She didn't love him, couldn't love him. If she were willing to treat him like that! He was an idiot. A stupid blind idiot. He gave her his heart. How could she walk away from him like that. From what they had. Was he the only one who thought they had something special. Something built to last! God the stuff he'd said to her. He really didn't want to talk to her anymore. He didn't want to see her either. She'd shredded him enough. He'd put his heart on the line and she shot him down. He walked home and ignored his mum as he walked into the house. He walked into his room and looked around. God she was everywhere in here! The bed - the pillow fight. The night she had needed him and slept in his arms. One of her t-shirts she'd left after she'd stayed the night was folded on the back of his chair. She had a spare brush and a tin of deodorant on his drawers. The pictures on the wall, he tore them down. He couldn't bear to look at them. God even his floor held memories. The times they'd just sat talking, him playing with her hair. Or the times he'd nearly lost control when they kissed. His fists clenched. No more memories. He was gonna forget them. Try to forget she even existed! He put nickleback in his cd player and pressed play. He remembered their conversation and quickly removed it. He placed hi second hand serenade disc on. He listened to stay close don't go. He put this song on to prove that he didn't care about her. That he could listen to this sad song and it wouldn't affect him. He got the third stanza. The words he listened to broke his heart.
And don't you know,
My heart is pumping,
Oh, it's putting up the I've got this feeling,
That everything's not 't you see?
I'm not the only one for you,
But you're the only one for me.
If you leave me tonight,
I'll wake up alone,
Don't tell me I will make it on my own
Don't leave me tonight,
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies,
If you leave me
Don't leave me tonight.
He supposed it was best to get it out of his system tonight. Before school tomorrow. He refused to break down in front of everyone. He placed his head in his hands and let the tears fall freely. One thing was for sure no-one was ever getting the chance to hurt him again. And another thing, he was never crying over her again!
