Just a little thing brought up last chapter: shopping at Hot Topic does NOT make you or anyone else a poser. It's just another store where you buy stuff. I shop there myself, and those who think I'm a poser could go screw a pig.

Anyway, here's Episode 3 pt. 2! Enjoy and review!


The sun sets as Double-D drives the retro van (the Eds fixed it up over the timeskip, during which Double-D also got his driver liscense) towards Cherry River for the Battle of the Bands, with Eddy sitting shotgun.

"I can already feel the artistic rhythm of the 25 bands converging at this concert! Can you feel it, Eddy?!" Double-D asks.

"Yeah, I totally feel the rhythm!... of 500-DOLLAR JOY!" Eddy answers. "No, scratch that! I can TASTE it!"

Reaching Cherry River, they park in the concert's parking lot.


The Battle of the Bands is being held in an amphitheater. As people gather for the event, colorful stage lights flash and beam about to raise the hype.

Among the front-row viewers are Lee & Marie. May arrives shortly after, disguising herself with a heavy coat, a frog mask, and oven mitts.

"Nice disguise, May!" Marie sarcastically comments, chuckling.

"Is it good enough?" May asks. "Rachel told me to cover myself up real good so Big Ed doesn't notice."

"It'll suffice!" Lee assures. "Good thing Rachel called us ahead of time. She's like another sister!"


Ed, Rachel, Bill and Dean are bringing their instruments backstage when Eddy comes and starts massaging Ed's shoulders.

"Eddy, what're you doin back here?" Ed asks.

"Just helping ya relax enough for the show!" Eddy answers. "You need it to focus so you and the emos could win the prize!"

Rachel picks up Eddy by his lip again. Bill holds up a needle and threatens to stick Eddy's lip with it! "Strike 2, Eddy." Rachel warns, dropping Eddy as their manager comes.

"Ok guys, enough lollygaggin. Let's Roll." Eternal Moonlight's manager moves Ed and the goths along.

"Yeah, you guys go get ready now!" Eddy says, heading out through the backstage entrance. There he sees the other bands arriving, and whispers: "You think you guys got a chance this year? Heh, not on my watch!"


Out in the audience, Double-D waits for Eddy to return. Then someone else joins him to watch the show: Sean, who's in a wheelchair and wearing bandages.

"Why, hello Sean! How are you?" Double-D greets.

"Miserable." Seans flatly answers. "But fortunately, I'll be raring to go once this episode runs its course. But enough of that; who's my replacement?"

Eddy returns to answer: "No need to worry! Ed's leadin your troop to Victory Road, and who knows, maybe he's better than you!"

"Oh, really..." Sean skepticizes. "Let's see how it goes."

"You've been on the can for quite some time, Eddy." Double-D says (Eddy lied off-screen earlier). "Was something wrong?"

"Oh, that? I just went overboard on the burritos Mom served for dinner!" Eddy lies. "Very unstable digestive tract."

"... We didn't need to hear that." Sean replies.

"Oh look, there's the MC!" Double-D points out as the MC appears onstage to host the event.

"WASSUP?!" he shouts over a microphone, and the crowd cheers. "LET ME HEAR SOME NOISE!!" everyone screams and whoops excitedly. "LOUDER!!" the cheering turns up. "There we go! THIS IS CHERRY RIVER'S 13th ANNUAL BATTLE OF THE BANDS!! IT'S GONNA BE WILD!! HARDCORE!! RAW!! AND MOST OF ALL, IT'S GONNA ROCK!!!"

"WHOOO!!" The Kankers cheer with everyone else. Ed becomes excited as he and the goths wait in their greenroom.

"Here we go!" Eddy says as the Battle of the Bands commences.

"FIRST UP, REPRESENTING DURIAN COVE, WATCH OUT CAUSE TYPHOON TIP'S STORMIN IN!!" the MC introduces Typhoon Tip, a punk band that begins the competition with their song. The crowd moves and bobs along to their beat, though Double-D has trouble doing so and Sean can't really move at all thanks to his wheelchair! From their greenroom, Ed and the goths hear the song via intercom. Typhoon Tip's vocalist finishes with a hardcore SCREAM!

"THAT'S the kind of competition we're playing against, Ed." Rachel says. "So give it your all and save your voice until we go up."

Eddy says mentally: "The 1st song's done, now it's time for sabotage!" then he fakes a cramp: "Yeowch! Excuse me guys, I gotta take another dump. Damn burritos!"

Eddy leaves Double-D and Sean to head through the crowd and sneak backstage, where he puts on a black shirt & ski mask before sneaking up behind the 2nd band...

"NEXT UP, REPRESENTING WATERMELON FALLS, THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR FOR SURGE!!" the MC introduces Surge, an alternative metal band. Their song goes well for the first few seconds, but once the drums come in, there's no sound even though the drummer's playing them. The audience starts booing! Their manager is shocked and confused.

"Huh?..." the drummer sees that his sticks were replaced by twizzlers: "TWIZZLERS?!!..."

Eddy chuckles, as HE swapped the drummer's sticks with the twizzlers! He then sneaks back into the audience wearing his normal clothes, pulling out a barrell of tomatoes from his pocket (via hammerspace) and labeling it "50 CENTS PER TOMATO!"

"Thanks a bunch, cuddlebins!" Lee thanks as she and her sisters pay up for tomatoes to pelt Surge with. Many others follow suit, and Eddy scores major cash! Surge is pelted with tomatoes until they're finally forced offstage.

"Wow, how careless to bring twizzlers!" the MC chuckles. "Now, moving on..."

Eddy fakes cramps again: "Burritos are at it again!" he runs off before Double-D even reaches him.

"UP NEXT, REPRESENTING LAKE TANGERINE, GIVE IT UP TO BOWELS OF BEYOND!!" the MC introduces Bowels of Beyond, a heavy metal band.

"Hehehe!" Eddy chuckles, wearing his stealth clothes again. He takes out scizzors to cut a rope holding a sandbag above the stage. The sandbag drops down and hits the lead singer over his head. He gets up angrily and kicks the sandbag, bursting it and sending a cloud of sand into the audience, making them sneeze and boo for him.

"HAHAHA!" Eddy returns to selling tomatoes for the audience to bombard Bowels of Beyond with.

"How did that sandbag fall?" the MC checks out backstage, seeing that the rope's been cut. "Someone's playin dirty..."

Double-D approaches Eddy as he sells tomatoes. "Eddy, I know that singer had some nerve to kick sand into everyone's faces, but how can you sell tomatoes to bombard them and the last band!?"

"Who cares?! The more pain for them, the more gain for me!" Eddy exclaims.

Double-D processes Eddy's words: "............ Eddy, are you the one who's-"

"AGH, BURRITOS!!" Eddy fakes another cramp, throwing his tomato barrell into the air in false pain and running off.

"HEY, YOU-" Double-D tries stopping Eddy, but the tomato barrell lands on him, splattering tomatoes all over him!

"UP NEXT, REPRESENTING BANANNA BLUFFS, WATCH YOUR STEP CAUSE FLIPPIN PEELZ ARE IN THE HOUSE!!" the MC introduces Flippin Peelz, a hip-hop band composed of 2 blacks, 1 white, 1 latina, and 1 Asian. As they perform their song, their manager sits backstage.

"Flippin Peelz?!..." Eddy whispers backstage, in his stealth clothes again. "How about Shockin Peelz?!"

Eddy takes Flippin Peelz's manager's water bottle from his back pocket and pours it on the band's guitar cord behind the amps, electrocuting the band's guitarist and roasting him into a pile of ash with still-blinking eyes! Everyone starts booing, and Flippin Peelz curses back but are taken away by their manager before things get dirty. Once they're gone, Eddy comes out of hiding to head back into the audience.

"Alright, back to the-" Eddy is grabbed by the MC, who takes off his ski mask.

"So it's you sabotaging everyone, eh? Jig's up!" the MC says. Meanwhile, Ed and the goths are suprised at how the last 3 bands went awry.

"3 in a row." Bill notes, then sarcastically says "Isn't that awesome luck!"

"We're up next, guys." Rachel says, prompting Ed to shout "YES!"


Backstage, the MC tied up Eddy and has Eternal Moonlight's manager handle him while he heads back onstage: "We had a few problems backstage, dudes and babes. But it's all been taken care of, so it's on with the show! NOW, REPRESENTING PEACH CREEK, MAKE SOME NOISE FOR ETERNAL MOONLIGHT!!" he introduces Eternal Moonlight.

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!" the crowd cheers, especially Double-D, Sean and the Kankers. Despite seeing Lee and Marie in the front row, Ed is unfazed since he doesn't notice the disguised May, who's screaming like a rabid fangirl!

Then the song begins! Backstage, Eddy stuggles to free himself as EM's manager tries taking him away.

"Get your hands off me, I was just helpin with the stage blocking! The MC's on crack!" Eddy lies as he struggles.

"Nice try, boy." EM's manager sees through the lie. Then Eddy frees an arm to loosen the rope and slip out of it, which leads to a grappling match between him and EM's manager. The MC sees this and joins to stop Eddy. Onstage, EM's song goes good so far, with Ed backing Rachel's lyrics and he does his hardcore SCREAM during the instrumental part, impressing Sean and mesmerizing May.

"He's so awesome!" May says dreamily.

Backstage, Eddy squabbles against the MC and EM's manager on the stage's control systems. Eddy grabs EM's manager's arms while the MC grabs Eddy's legs, but Eddy frees one and repeatedly kicks him against the lighting switches, causing lights to flash onstage with painfully bright intensity.

"AAAGH!!" the audience shield their eyes in pain while Eternal Moonlight close their eyes, confused by what's happening but they continue their song.

"AGH!!" Eddy covers his eyes in pain, thus letting go of EM's manager's pulling arms. This flings the manager out into the audience, landing on May and knocking her mask off, exposing her...

"AH!!" Ed jumps back upon seeing May, accidentally knocking Rachel backstage where Eddy struggles against the MC.

"WHOA!!" Rachel lands on Eddy, knocking him into the sound system where his hairs get caught in the recording device.

"Oh, ow, OW, OWWW!!!" Eddy screams as his hair is pulled by the recording device's rotation. Rachel and the MC try pulling him out but only cause him more pain by stretching him out. "STOP, STOP!!!" Eddy thrashes his arms in agony, pulling a switch until it breaks, causing the volume of the amps to skyrocket!

Rachel gasps in horror... "GUYS, STOP!!!" she screams but Ed, Bill and Dean fail to hear her as their music gets louder and louder. Ed strums a string...

... And its EXTREMELY loud note blasts through the amphitheater, blowing down the stage, shattering the audience like glass, and destroying ALL the windows (setting off car alarms) in Cherry River!!


Ed emerges from the stage's rubble, digging into his ear. "Ouch!"

"What happened?" Bill asks as he and Dean emerge, followed by Rachel and the MC. Double-D emerges and helps Sean out.

"I think my eardrums popped." Sean utters in pain as Ed looks around at the damage.

"It's over, I blew it! I BLEW IT!!" Ed screams with guilt. "LOOK WHAT I'VE DONE, I RUINED THE CONCERT!!!"

Double-D emerges from the rubble to comfort Ed: "Cheer up, Ed! It's not all your fault. Exceedingly loud volume must be the product of some sort of backstage problem."

"Right, you are!" the MC says. "Where is that little guy?"

"Oh, my achin..." Eddy's voice utters from under the rubble, and Rachel pulls him out by his hairs. "Huh?... WHAT HAPPENED?! IS IT OVER, ED?! DID YOU GUYS WIN?!!"

"No, sorry." Ed aswers. ".................... You know what, guys? I'm not sure if I wanna do this whole rockstar thing yet. I thought I wanted to pursue music as my dream, but the thing is, I have LOTS of dreams. I dream about publishing my own comics, opening up my own restaurant, acting and directing sci-fi movies, and playing in the NFL!! But I don't know which to pick yet."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH TO PICK?!" Eddy asks furiously. "DON'T CHANGE HORSES MIDSTREAM!! YOU COULD MAKE A FORTUNE WITH THE EMOS!!"

"Strike 3." Rachel grabs Eddy's lip again, this time carrying him towards the giggling Kankers. "Give him the usual punishment!"

"WAIT, I'M SORRY!!" Eddy screams as Rachel tosses him into the sisters' clutches, then she returns to Ed and Double-D.

"Well, Ed..." Rachel begins. "I understand that some things take time, and what ultimately becomes your career is your choice! So good luck, and if you ever need me or the other goths, we usually hang out at my house, behind the church, and of course at school though only I really attend classes. Now I'd better get going to check if any of our stuff got damaged."

Rachel goes to dig her and the goths' stuff from inside the rubble while Double-D praises Ed: "I'm proud of you, Ed. Even though this concert didn't go nearly as well as anticipated, it's still one your greatest accomplishments so far!"

"Thanks, Double-D!" Ed thanks. "And hey, can you help me with a comic I'm workin on? It's called 'The Face-Stealers from Horsehead Galaxy!'"

"Glad to!" Double-D answers as they walk away, with Ed telling him details about his comic while May and Marie hold Eddy down so Lee could do as she pleases with him!

The End!!!


Trivia: I named the Typhoon Tip band after a real storm: Typhoon Tip was the biggest tropical cyclone ever recorded (almost as big as the lower 48 states) and was part of the 1979 Pacific Typhoon season.

Oh, and I'd like some help coming up with ideas. Check the EEnE Teen Series section of my profile for details (AFTER submitting your review if you do so).