NOTE from the PHOENIX: Thanks to everyone who has been reading this OC story! I know it's hard to get readers for OC stuff so I really appreciate it!

Chapter Thirty-two

"Well, Doc, am I going to live?"

"I'm afraid so." Joanna clucked. "You know, Michaels, if I didn't know any better I'd say you keep getting hurt just to come see me."

"Can you blame me? I'd be your patient any da..." Michaels yelped in pain as Joanna jabbed him with a hypospray full of antibiotic. "Ow."

"Start trying to be more careful."

"When do you get off duty?"

"Never."

"Just come and have one innocent drink with me." Michaels pressed.

"I don't date patients."

"Who said anything about a date?" Michaels smiled sweetly. "I said 'innocent' drink."

"Michaels, nothing about you is innocent. Now get back to your post."

"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You don't need a follow up, the cut was mostly superficial."

"Yeah, but it's dangerous down in Engineering, besides I think I feel a fever coming on."

"Get out of my sick bay." Joanna chuckled. "You're healthy as a horse."

"Damn."

"Go."

"You still owe me a drink sometime."

"The only thing I owe you is a swift kick in the seat," Joanna shoved his shoulder "now get out of here."

Michaels chuckled and flashed Joanna his most charming smile. She hated the way she flushed. Sensing that he wasn't completely out of the running he blew her a kiss and hopped down off the biobed. Joanna rolled her eyes and then threatened him with another hypo when he leaned in to get a real kiss. Holding his hands up in surrender Michaels smiled and backed away.

This was n't the first time Michaels had flirted with her and she doubted that it would be the last. Sighing heavily Joanna found herself missing Salen more than ever. He hadn't conntacted her since his first arrival on his new ship. She had known from the beginning that he wouldn't be able to contact her very often. She just hoped that he was alright. Starfleet could be dangerous even under the best conditions, being in black ops just made it more so.

"They would have contacted my father if anything happened to him." Joanna muttered in an attempt to make herself feel better. "At the very least they would tell Admiral Pike. Either way, someone would let me know."

Joanna rubbed at her suddenly sour stomach. No matter what she told herself she was still afraid that if something happened to Salen that it could be weeks or even months before she heard anything about it. Glancing at the time strip Joanna noticed that she was well over due for a mid shift break. She decided to go back to her quarters for the short break.

Picking up a digital chart pad she took it with her to review along the way. As she walked through the ship's halls Joanna kept her attention focused mostly on the electronic charts as she went over some of the lab results. She didn't even notice that she had wandered into a lesser used corridor and was currently alone.

When Joanna stepped past a darkened alcove a sudden motion caught her the corner of her eye. Before she could react Joanna felt a strong arm wrap around her stomach from behind. Her blood flashed to ice as another hand suddenly clamped down over her mouth. Unable to see her attacker Joanna gave a muffled cry for help as she was pulled against the assailant's chest.

It had not occurred to Joanna that Michaels might turn to force, however she had noticed a growing frustration in his attempts to court her. Dropping the digital chart Joanna reached up to try and pry his hand away from her mouth. She panicked as she discovered just how powerful he was. She froze as she felt his hot breath against her neck. He forced her to look over her shoulder at him and as soon as their eyes met he relaxed his grip on her.

"Salen!" Joanna gasped.

"Joa..."

Salen was cut off as Joanna twisted around in his arms and attacked him with an amorous kiss. Returning the affection Salen chuckled as she gently bit down on his lower lip. When released Salen nuzzled against her neck and kissed the exposed flesh. Joanna embraced him tightly before putting her palms on his chest and pushing him away.

"You nearly scared me half to death!" Joanna admonished.

"I am sorry." Salen apologized. "You were so focused on your charts that I feared you'd cry for help if I startled you or kick me in the stomach...neither one of which seemed acceptable."

"You could have just come to find me in sick bay."

"I can not be discovered by the crew of this ship."

"What?"

"I am on a mission." Salen smiled.

"What kind of mission?"

"Testing out Starfleet security. My orders were to infiltrate the ship and steal something without being detected."

"Well you've failed." Joanna grinned and pressed herself against him. "I've detected you."

"True, I guess that makes me your prisoner. Are you going to turn me over to your Captain?"

"No, I think I'll interrogate you myself."

Salen smiled brightly and leaned in for another passionate kiss. Joanna reached up and ran her hands through Salen's ivory hair before tracing her fingernails down his neck and onto his chest. Pushing him away once more Joanna gave Salen's black second skin outfit a critical once over. The inky black uniform showed off his strongly muscled frame perfectly.

"What are you wearing?" Joanna snickered.

"You like it?"

"Actually I do." Joanna reached out and traced his stitched in name tag. "'Dingo'?"

"Please do not ask." Salen suddenly turned his head to the side. "Someone is coming, I really can not be spotted aboard this ship. May I meet you at your quarters?"

"I have to be back to sick bay soon."

Salen looked around and spotted the digital chart on the floor. He picked it up and started typing into to the screen. After a few seconds he handed the chart back to her with a smile. She glanced at it just in time to see it change from some sort of systems screen back to the normal one.

"You are now not due back to sick bay for another two hours, Dr. Grenvich has been called to duty."

"How did you do that?"

"Another part of my mission was to hack into the ship's computer system."

"You're really good at this black ops thing." Joanna teased.

"Sometime I am too good."

Joanna was a little alarmed by the suddenly mournful tone in Salen's voice. His smile had instantly disappeared and he was once again the haunted Vulcan that she was used to seeing. She took a breath to ask him what was wrong, however a noise made her glances nervously over her shoulder. When she looked back Salen was gone. Startled she looked up, the only direction he could have fled to so quickly, and caught a fleeting glimpse of his shoe as he disappeared into the ventilation system.

"Doctor?" A deep voice called. "Are you okay?"

"Um...yeah, I'm fine." Joanna answered somewhat vacantly as she turned to greet the invader, a young Commander.

"Are you sure? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"No, I'm okay. Have a good day, Commander."

"You as well, Doctor."

For a moment Joanna wondered if she had seen a ghost. Looking down at her chart she checked and saw that she really wasn't due back to the infirmary for another two hours now. With her heart racing and a few butterflies bouncing around in her stomach Joanna tried to look calm as she hurriedly made her way to her quarters. She stepped into her room, but she didn't seem to have any guests.

"Salen?"

"I am here."

Joanna jolted slightly as Salen seemed to materialize behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against his chest. Joanna closed her eyes and moaned in pleasure as Salen softly kissed up the side of her neck. When he reached her ear he took it captive between his teeth.

Joanna was receptive to affection until he reached up and with a sudden burst of violence tore open the back of her uniform. Joanna wasn't sure what to do, Salen wasn't hurting her, but he was acting oddly aggressive. He bit down harder on her ear as he ran his hands up her stomach and onto her chest. His touch sent a pleasant shiver down her spine, but his powerful embrace also caused her blood to turn to ice with fear.

"Salen...stop."

To Joanna's relief Salen instantly released her. Holding the front of her torn dress up Joanna turned around to face Salen. He had put his hands behind his back and had adverted his gaze to the floor. Feeling guilty Joanna leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Salen."

"Did I hurt you? It was not my intent to hurt you."

"No, I...I guess I just needed to know that I could stop you if I needed to."

"You have full control over me."

"Oh really?" Joanna smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Let's test that theory. Look at me."

Salen obeyed and raised his gaze to meet hers. He looked like a child that had just been scolded.

"Very good." Joanna smiled with a nod of approval. "Kiss me."

Smiling mischievously Salen leaned in and gave her a quick peck to the cheek.

"Oh you're going to have to do better than that." Joanna admonished. "How about this for an order: remind me exactly why I miss your touch so much."

A bright smile spread over Salen's face. He reached out to touch her cheek, but stopped just a fraction of an inch from her skin. The hesitation in Salen's touch made Joanna feel guilty for having distrusted him. Trying to make up for it she closed the small space between them. Salen gently caressed Joanna's cheek and guided her into a deep kiss.

Taking on a more aggressive role herself Joanna let her ruined uniform fall to the floor and wrapped her arms around Salen's neck. Tugging on his neck she lead him over to the bed and pushed him down on it. Landing on his back Salen looked up at her and offered her his hand. Accepting his offer Joanna joined him on the bed.

Straddling Salen's taunt stomach Joanna started to seek a way to get Salen out of the form fitting black uniform. As far as she could tell it didn't have and seams or zippers. Salen enjoyed her touch as she ran her hands over him in an attempt to figure out. Joanna couldn't figure the uniform out, nor could she tear the unusual cloth.

"What did you do? Paint this thing on?"

"Only I can remove it." Salen informed.

"What?"

"The uniform is coded to my fingerprint, only I or someone with the override code can open the closure."

"So what are you waiting for?"

"Your orders." Salen chuckled.

"Take it off...now."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Salen reached up to neck of the uniform and pressed his finger against the closure. Giving way the black material split open down the front as though it had been held together with magnets. Joanna ran her hand across his scarred chest before helping him out of the rest of the uniform. With his skin finally exposed Joanna leaned down and bit his shoulder. Salen ran his hands up her curved sides and sighed in contentment.

"I have missed you so much."

"Did I say you could talk?" Joanna teased.

When Salen took a breath to answer Joanna stopped him by leaning down and pressing her lips against him. She kept her position of dominance over him while he followed orders and did his best to remind her why she missed his touch. Joanna was already breathless with the passion of their intimacy by the time Salen snaked his hand up her throat and brought his finger tips to rest on her temple. With their connection now both body and mind the pair cried out in fully shared ecstasy.

Panting heavily Joanna fell against Salen's chest. Nuzzling against him she purred in the warmth of an intense afterglow. Salen took a deep breath causing Joanna to rise and fall along with his chest. He reached up and ran his fingers through her sweat dampened hair. Stretching out like a cat in a warm sunbeam Joanna looked up at Salen. Her heart jumped in her chest when she saw that he was staring up at the ceiling with a troubled look on his face.

"Salen?"

"I am sorry."

"For what?"

"I should not have been intimate with you tonight." Salen admitted. "It was not my intention when I first arrived, but as soon as I saw you I could not keep myself from falling in love with you all over again."

"And...that's a problem?"

"I came here tonight to set you free from our relationship."

"Why?"

"Because you deserve better."

"Better?" Joanna propped herself up on her elbows to look into Salen's eyes. "Salen, what is going on? A month ago you wanted to marry me, now you don't think you're good enough?"

"A month ago I wasn't a murderer."

Joanna sat up with alarm and stared at Salen. He sat up as well, but he refused to look at her. With his leg swung over the edge of the bed he leaned forward to rest his forearms on his lap. He licked his lips nervously and rocked back and forth slightly. Terrified to see him suddenly looking so lost Joanna reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. For the first time she noticed that he had a recent wound carved into his back.

Salen didn't shy away from Joanna's touch, however he did close his eyes and shake his head sadly. She got the feeling that he desperately wanted to cry, but couldn't find any more tears. Joanna grabbed the tangled blanket on her bed and after snuggling up close to him she wrapped the blanket around them both. Salen was forced to smile. Joanna saw the glimmer of the Salen she knew and loved and took the chance to kiss his cheek. Salen turned to look at her. His dark eyes softened as he stared at her. He reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"You are so beautiful, and I love you, however..."

"Salen, there is no 'however', I love you and I know you're a good man. I don't care if you killed Langin."

"Langin?"

"That's what this is about, right? You finally remembered what happened to Langin?"

"No." Salen sighed. "No this isn't about Langin at all."

"Tell me what happened."

"It's classified."

"So is you being on this ship, but you didn't mind telling me you were here." Joanna smiled. "Salen, I already know far more than I should about your assignment. What harm could there be in telling me more, particularly if it helps me to help you."

"Logical." Salen nodded.

It took Salen a few more minutes to start telling his tale to Joanna. As he spoke of the crystal shards that had contained his parent's blood his voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. Joanna's eyes brightened with tears as he admitted that he had lost all his courage when confronted with the possibility of being caged and cut for blood again. His description of the violence that had followed was sickening to listen to, but she felt no sympathy for the men who had tormented him. Salen went quiet and stared at the floor, lost in the memory.

"Salen, that's horrible. I can't imagine what it must have been like to have been confronted by that disgusting man." Joanna said gently. "However nothing you told me is murder, that's defending yourself and the Federation in the line of duty."

"It is not the Vulcan way to take lives in such a manner, it is still murder in their eyes."

"To hell with the Vulcans!" Joanna spat angrily. "Besides, you think Spock hasn't taken his fair share of lives? My father has told me stories about Spock that would make your blood run cold."

"My blood already runs cold."

"What?"

"Vulcan blood is five degrees colder than their core temperature to keep our brains from overheating."

Joanna shook her head sadly and then wrapped Salen in a tight embrace. He looked like he desperately wanted to push her away for her own good, but couldn't quite find it in himself to do it. Sensing his conflict Joanna crawling into his lap so that he couldn't escape her. Joanna pressed her lips against. He resisted at first, but quickly succumb to her affections and kissed her back with equal passion. Joanna broke free and reached up to trace the marks on his face.

"Yes." Joanna whispered softly.

"Yes? Yes what?"

"Yes I will marry you."

"Despite what you have learned of me?"

"Because of it. You are more courageous than anyone I know...and I know some pretty top guys in Starfleet. At the same time you are compassionate and loving, no one treats me the way you do, no one looks at me with such awe the way you do. I want to be your mate for the rest of my life. I love you."

"I love you."

"Then your offer still stands?" Joanna teased.

"Absolutely."

Joanna felt the butterflies in her stomach returning, but she enjoyed them this time. With her heart racing over the commitment she'd just made she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him savagely. Salen chuckled and wrapped his arms around Joanna and returned the aggressive affection. Sitting on his lap Joanna noticed something she wasn't expecting. She pulled away and looked at Salen with a raised eyebrow.

"Again?" Joanna chuckled.

"If you are up for it."

"I'm up for it, I'm just surprised that you are."

"Why?"

"Well with humans males..."

"Need I remind you that I am not human?" Salen teased.

"Remind me one more time tonight..."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Joanna squealed with delight as Salen pinned her down to the sheets. Half an hour later Joanna was breathless once more. Salen leaned over her and kissed his way down her chest to her belly button. She ruffled his hair and giggled. Salen came back up and gave her one last kiss before getting to his feet and getting into his uniform.

"Leaving so soon?"

"I was meant to be back on my ship a long time ago, and I have yet to steal anything."

"You stole my heart." Joanna chuckled, and then reached over to her night stand. "Take this, it's an access card to the restricted areas of sick bay."

"You will need that."

"I can get another one, they change the code weekly anyway."

"Thank you." Salen said as he tucked the card into his pocket."

"When will I see you again?"

"I...I do not know." Salen admitted.

"I'll be waiting for you."

"I love you, Joanna McCoy." Salen purred.

"Call me Joanna Pike." She teased.

"I like that."

Salen closed his uniform and leaned in for another kiss. Joanna didn't want him to leave, but she knew she had to let him go. Salen pulled away slowly and brushed her cheek once last time.

"Thank you."

"Thank you." Joanna chuckled. "That was quite a night of passion."

"I meant thank you for understanding about Evans, and helping me understand it myself."

"Anytime...and I mean that."

Salen smiled brightly and kissed Joanna once again. She laughed and pushed him away reminding him that he had to leave. Joanna wouldn't normally have been so insistent that he leave, but her stomach was already beginning to rebel from her Vulcan encounter. She hadn't been sick once since he had been gone so she knew now that he must be the cause. However, it was a price she was glad to pay. She didn't want Salen seeing her being sick though, he had enough guilt to live with.

"I love you, and I will be back for you."

Having made his promise Salen walked over to the far wall. At first Joanna had no idea what he was doing until she saw him pull off an access panel that she hadn't even known was there. With amazing dexterity he slipped into the inner workings of the ship and closed the panel behind him.

"Stay safe out there, Salen." Joanna whispered once he was gone.

Unable to win over her stomach any longer Joanna rushed into the bathroom and threw up. Once her stomach was empty she felt better. Getting into the shower she washed the sweat from her skin. Joanna threw away the uniform that Salen had ruined and slipped into a new one.

She had totally lost track of time and discovered that she was due back at the infirmary in just a few minutes. She hurried down the hallways to the sick bay. Getting back to her post she found herself oddly out of breath. She reached out and grabbed the edge of a biobed to steady herself as dizziness washed over her. One of the nurses looked up and gasped.

"Dr. McCoy? Are you okay?"

"I'm fin..."

Joanna stopped as blood unexpectedly dripped from her nose. Confused she reached up and rubbed at the crimson wash, staining her hand. The nurse was already rushing over to aid Joanna, but she wasn't fast enough. Gasping sharply Joanna arched her back in pain as her vision turned to black. Unable to keep a hold of consciousness she collapsed to the floor.

"Dr. McCoy!"