Chapter Forty-two
"Father! Fath..."
Razor was jerked awake by a blood curdling cry of panic and agony. Disoriented by the drug still swimming in his system Razor tried to jump to his feet, but only managed to roll off the far side of the biobed that he had been laying on. Landing hard on the infirmary floor Razor was knocked breathless. Salen's voice rang out again, but this time it was quickly muffled.
"Damn it, shut him up!" Beckett barked. "I told you not to wake him again!"
"I didn't." The doctor protested. "He came to himself."
"Well put him down again!"
Razor had no idea what was going on, but even in his haze he could hear the fear in Salen's voice as he whimpered beneath Beckett's hand over his mouth. Shaking his head to clear it Razor got to his hands and knees, remaining hiding behind the biobed. From his hiding place Razor watched as the doctor pressed a hypospray against Salen's throat. Salen fell quiet, but he didn't relax right away. With every muscle in his body tense he stared unfocused at the ceiling as tears continued to stream from the corners of his eyes. Eventually he closed his eyes and went slack. Beckett dragged his hands through his hair and paced back and forth in agitation.
"Sir, we need to ge..."
"That's not an option!" Beckett snapped.
"Then what do you want me to do?" The doctor asked quietly.
"I don't know. Ke...keep him alive as long as you can... I...I need time to think." Beckett ordered shakily. "Just, don't let him wake like that again. I don't want him in pain."
"Due to the nature of his illness keeping him sedated, and keeping him alive are mutually exclusive goals."
"Didn't you just sedate him?"
"No." The doctor shook his head. "I paralyzed him."
"He's still aware?" Beckett asked fearfully.
"I don't think so, he looks like he's slipped back into his coma."
"'You don't think so'?" Beckett repeated in a snarl. "I want a 'yes' or 'no', Doc! Is he suffering?"
"I can't answer that!" The doctor snapped angrily. "If he was human I'd say 'no', but he's not, he's a Vulcan, and it's anyone's guess as to what's going on in that mind of his! I can keep him alive for a day or two, but I can't guarantee that he'll be comfortable, or I can let him slip peacefully into death. Those are your options. I suggest that you just let him go."
"No...no, keep him alive."
"Why?"
"Because I said so!"
"Aye, Sir." The doctor sighed.
Razor wasn't sure why he still felt the need to hide on his own ship, but his instincts told him that he wasn't supposed to be overhearing this conversation. Beckett reached out and affectionately brushed Salen's cheek before turning away and leaving in a hurry. The doctor looked down on his patient with pity and shook his head sadly before making one last check on the readouts and then disappearing into his office.
Furrowing his brow in confusion Razor waited until everything was quiet before getting to his feet. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep on the biobed after Salen had stabilized from the seizure. Walking up to Salen Razor reached down and pressed his fingertips against his throat. Salen's pulse fluttered under Razor's touch weakly. He peeled back one of Salen's eyelids, but the eye beneath remained rolled back to white.
"What are we doing to you?" Razor whispered. "And why the fuck am I skulking around my own ship?"
Throwing his shoulders back Razor marched into the doctor's office. The doctor looked up from his chart for a moment before returning his attention to it. Razor marched up to his desk and put his palms down on it so that he could lean into the doctor's personal space. The doctor tried to ignore Razor for a moment, but eventually he sighed and put his chart down.
"Samuel..."
"Don't you 'Samuel' me, Doc!" Razor snarled. "What's happening to Salen?"
"He's dying."
"That much I figured out on my own! Why don't you get your ass out there and do something about it?"
"There is nothing I can do." The doctor said sadly.
"You're not even trying!"
"Because it's too late. I'm sorry, Sam, but it's only a matter of time before Salen dies."
"If that's true then why is Beckett asking you to keep him alive? If there is nothing that can be done, why not just let him go?"
"I...I'm not allowed to talk about it. If you want answers you'll have to get them from Beckett."
Razor glared spitefully at the doctor for a moment before whipping around and storming out of his office. As he made his way purposefully towards Beckett's office several Dogs started to ask him about Salen, but they all quickly thought better of it when they saw the murderous glare in his eyes. Reaching Beckett's door he was about to pound on it when it suddenly slid open. The fact that he had clearly been expected made Razor pause for a moment.
"Come in, Razor."
Still angry Razor stepped into the office with his fists clenched. He came in ready for a shouting match with Beckett, but the moment he saw his Commanding Officer his tempered cooled somewhat. Beckett was sitting behind his desk looking like he was a hundred years old. He had a bottle of strong liquor with two glasses in front of him. It looked like he'd already had a few himself as he poured another and one for Razor as well. Beckett looked up at Razor and forced a sad smile as he offered him the glass.
"Drink?"
"No."
"Please, sit down."
"No." Razor growled. "What is killing Salen?"
"Cowardice."
"What? He's one of the brave..."
"Not his." Beckett interrupted as he knocked back the drink. "Mine."
"Sir...please, just tell me what is going on."
"You were right, Razor." Beckett said vacantly as his eyes brightened with tears. "I sentenced Salen to death."
"That thing behind his ear..."
"No, no that's a whole different story. He has a Vulcan disease called Pa'nar Syndrome, caused by these mind melds I've been forcing him into. I...I didn't know, I didn't realize how dangerous..."
"Sir," Razor said to bring Beckett back to the subject "is there a cure for this Pa'nar?"
"Spock."
"Spock? As in Commander Spock?"
"The one and only."
"Shit." Razor growled as he sat down and finally accepted the drink that Beckett had offered him.
"You figured out the problem quicker than I did."
"Spock would never expose..."
"The higher ups are not interested in taking that chance. I've been given direct orders to stand by and let Salen die."
"You can't follow that order, Sir."
"I know, but I don't see anyway out." Beckett sighed. "I went ahead and had the Excelsior declare Salen dead."
"What? Why?"
"I had to, it was the only way to keep Thomline from having Spock killed."
"He wouldn't..."
"Razor, there are a lot of powerful men who would be dragged to prison planets if the truth about the Dogs got out, and any one of them has the power to have Spock killed if they even suspected that he was threat to them. I had to declare Salen dead to protect Spock. I had to make Thomline believe that I was going to follow orders like a good boy."
"You weren't protecting Commander Spock, you were protecting yourself!" Razor spat. "If you don't take Salen to Spock immediately I'll expose the Dogs myself!"
"Razor, you and I both know that no one would believe you...not with your past." Beckett shook his head sadly. "Besides, if we make even the slightest move towards the Enterprise, Thomline will activate the Black Diamond's auto-destruct remotely...and kill us all."
"He...he can do that?" Razor asked in surprise.
Beckett nodded. Razor took a breath to protest the idea that Starfleet would give the order to have the entire ship and her crew destroyed to keep their secret, but he knew in his heart that it was true. Part of being a Dog was accepting the fact that your life was disposable.
"What are we going to do?"
"Right now I'm waiting for Salen to die and then I plan to return to Earth and apologize to Admiral Pike in person for his son's death."
"Are you insane? He'll kill you."
"I know, but I'm not going to let him destroy his life over me. I have an artificial heart, and as a man who has given his life to black ops it has a self destruct the same way this ship does in case I'm ever captured I can quickly end my own life. I will make my apologies and commit suicide before Admiral Pike can commit murder."
"Sir..."
"Christopher deserves to watch me die, but he doesn't deserve to have to pay for it."
Razor stared at Beckett trying to figure out if this was all some sort of sick joke. Looking at his weary Commanding Officer he saw that there was no hint of mirth in his eyes. Razor reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose against a mounting headache. He was suddenly reminded that he owed Beckett everything, and that he'd still be rotting on a prison planet himself it wasn't for the chance that Beckett and the Dogs had given him.
"This is madness, there has to be another way."
"I'm open to suggestions." Beckett said sadly.
"I have one...but it's risky."
"What kind of risky?"
"Capturing the Enterprise risky."
"I already told you that we can't go near the Enterprise, besides even in the Diamond Kirk has already proven that he can kick our ass."
"Well, that's part of the risk...we can't use the Diamond."
"Now you're just talking suicide." Beckett shook his head sadly.
"So were you." Razor pointed out.
"Ra..."
"Salen's going to die if we do nothing, you're going to kill yourself if Salen dies, with this plan the only other life at risks will be mine."
"And you're willing to make that sacrifice for a one in a million chance at saving Salen?"
"Absolutely." Razor replied without hesitation.
"In that case I think it only fitting that I make your promotion effective immediately."
"Promotion?"
"I know that officially Flash is next in line to command the Dogs, but it's an honor and a burden that he doesn't want. Between you and me he'd be happier as just the Diamond's helmsman rather than First Officer. So I am giving her to you instead."
"Me?"
Beckett got to his feet and Razor automatically did the same. Walking out from behind the desk Beckett held his hand out to Razor to shake. When Razor remained frozen like a deer in headlights Beckett took his hand by force and shook it. Beckett reached up and removed his own Commander insignia off his uniform and pinned it to Razor's uniform over his heart after taking the lower ranking pin off him.
"I...I don't understand."
"You've earned it." Becket smiled. "Command of the Black Diamond and her crew is yours."
"Are you serious?"
"Deadly. What are your orders, Colonel Samuel 'Razor' Donavan?"
"We need another ship, something non-Federation." Razor mused. "Set a course for Ioni 11, maximum Warp."
"Aye, Sir."
