Whew, some of my relatives were near Haiti when the earthquake struck, but thank God none of them got hurt. But for those who were affected, I pray for you all. Anyway, here's chapter 26!!


From Paul's bedroom, we hear Paul shouting in a panicky tone: "Armpit no, get off me! Gimme my clothes back! I don't wanna do this! Please!"

"I have to because Double-D said so." Ed replies. Then we see Ed holding down the naked Paul on his bed as Eddy comes in with a pair of grills, placing them on each side of Paul's bed. Then Double-D comes in, using large silicon-tipped tongs to carry in a cluster of steel rods, which have been heated bright red!

"Wh-What's this, is this the first step?!" Paul asks with a look of horror in his eyes.

"It is, Paul." Double-D answers as he places the ends of the heated steel rods on the grills, thus positioning the rods just over Paul's private area! Double-D continues: "The first step of our four-step perversion rehabilitation treatment is to suppress your sexual excitement."

Double-D takes out a porn magazine from his pocket, and explains: "While looking in one of your own magazines, you will have to keep yourself from getting an erection. And should you fail to do so, your... um, how do I put this?..."

"Your sausage will be cooked." Eddy finishes, and Paul's eyes bug out. Eddy then turns to the audience: "Warning: major cringe factor here, folks!"

"Oh God..." Paul panics as he looks at the searing rods just two inches above his (censored) privates. Then Double-D gives the porn magazine to Ed, who shows the contents to Paul while Eddy holds his arms down. Despite his best efforts, Paul cannot take his eyes off the women in the magazine:

"Ohhh, she's hot!" Paul says with sexual lust, but then he remembers the heated rods: "No, no. I can't!"

Ed turns the page. Paul looks away...

"Ed, keep his eyes on the girls." Double-D instructs, and Ed uses one of his hands to turn Paul's head back to the porn magazine.

"Rrrrrrrrr..." Paul can't help but make a pervy grin: "Ah, I just wanna fuck her!" then he feels himself getting an erection, thus he feels the steel rods' heat more! "Shit! No, no!"

Ed turns the page, and the frantic Paul closes his eyes to keep his erection from going any further, and Double-D crosses his fingers: "Please let this work..."

"Ugh... Uuuugghh..." Paul peeks an eye at the porn page: "Ooo, a gogo dancer!" but then he quickly closes his eye again: "I can do this! I can- shiiiit, now she's in my head! Ah, ahh, ahhhh!!" he shakes and freaks out as he feels his weenir getting ever closer to the heated rods: "Ahhhhhh FUCK, I CAN'T DO THIS!!"

"SUPPRESS IT!!" the Eds shout simultaneously as they keep Paul pinned down, Double-D grabbing Paul's legs by the ankles to keep him from struggling and burning himself.

"OK OK!!!" Paul closes his eyes again, trying not to shake any further: "Ok Paul, you must... suppress... the boner. Ok, what's somethin that would turn me off? Think of bonerkills, Paul. The biggest bonerkills you could think of!"

"There you go!" Double-D cheers as Paul slowly-but-successfully suppresses his erection by thinking of things that turn him off. The Eds let go, and Double-D uses his silicon tongs to take the rods off the grills, allowing Paul to sit up. He's bug-eyed and profusely sweating from the whole thing!

"How's it goin in there?" Paul's mom's voice asks from outside Paul's door.

"Everything's fine, Mrs. Stewart!" Double-D answers.

"Damn son, that was Ray Ray all over again." Paul compares the first step of his rehab to his past ordeal with Rachel. "What's the next step? Is it worse?"

"The second step of your rehab treatment is... to get rid of all your magazines and pictures." Double-D answers.

"ALL of em?!" Paul asks as if about to faint, and Double-D bobs yes.


Paul reluctantly reveals and disposes of every porn magazine and picture hidden in his apartment. He has stashes in his bedroom drawers and closet (among which is a pic of Nazz in her lingerie), his kitchen cabinets, his bathroom shelves and toilet tank, inside the living room sofas, and even his parents' room, where his parents watch. Paul's dad is fat like his wife, and has thin black hair and a moustache. He wears a buttoned yellow shirt with long sleeves, blue jeans, and black shoes. He and his wife are disgusted as their son Paul takes out prn magazines from inside their pillows!

"Jesus Paul, where the hell else you been hidin them magazines?" Paul's dad asks.

"In all the apartments." Paul answers, much to the shock of his parents and the Eds!

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Double-D asks.

"I'm tellin the truth cuz Mama will whip me if I lie." Paul says.

"Damn right." Paul's mom confirms. "Now get rid of em."

"ALL of em, boy." his dad says.

The Eds help Paul clear his relatives' apartments of his magazines and photos. After finishing, they see a boy in one of the living rooms. He's around Jimmy's age and wears clothes similar to Jonny's.

"Hey, little fella!" Ed approaches the boy, but the boy SCREAMS and hides inside his bedroom.

"DON'T SHOOT ME!! I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN!! JUST GO AWAY!!" the boy yells.

"Is that the nephew of yours who got shot in the ass?" Eddy asks Paul, who answers "Yeah."

They continue outside, where they throw the bags containing the magazines into garbage bins.

"There, they're all gone." Paul says with a quivering lip.

"I know this is hard for you, but it's for the best. Now let's prepare for the third step." Double-D takes Paul to his house. Ed and Eddy follow, but Eddy stops, and he looks back at the bins with a grin...


The next morning at the bus stop, the boys, Nazz and Jenna see the Eds arrive with Paul, who now has some kind of shock collar around his neck.

"What is that?" Jonny asks.

"A sexual aversion shock collar, ladies and gents." Double-D answers and explains: "It's set to go off the very moment Paul's hormone levels kick into overdrive, whether it be from gazing upon or thinking about females, telling sexual-themed jokes and innuendo, or anything of the like. And every time it zaps Paul, a point will be added to its zap count. As cruel as it may be, it'll certainly be effective against hypersexuality of Paul's caliber."

"Oooooo, I like that!" Jenna exclaims, with Nazz giggling at Paul's upcoming and inevitable suffering. With that, everyone boards the bus and go about their school business.

Later, after the ending bell, the Eds and Kevin meet up with Paul again. Paul has numerous burn marks, his du-rag has been ripped to shreds, and his hair is now standing on end, all due to being zapped by the collar so many times during school!

"That can't be good." Ed says, and Double-D checks the collar's zap count:

"One-hundred-&-twenty-four zaps." Double-D reports, causings Ed's, Eddy's and Kevin's eyes to bug out.

"That's the final proof of Paul's problem." Kevin says, to which Double-D replies: "No matter, we'll just repeat this step tomorrow."

"You kiddin me?" Paul asks in disbelief: "Man, then I hope the fourth step is anti-climactic."


The fourth step of Paul's treatment brings him down into Ed's room, where he is seated in Ed's armchair with his arms taped down at the wrists.

"Well Paul, the last three steps have focused on breaking your lust towards the ladies." Double-D reviews. "In this final step, you will do the same."

"Except this time, the lady will be layin the moves on you." Eddy says eerily: "Can you fight and break your obsession as it tackles you head-on? Live or die, Paul. Make your choice."

Ed laughs at Eddy's joke, but Double-D snaps his fingers to regain their attention: "Focus please, this is a serious task. Now Ed, go bring the girl in."

"Okey dokey!" Ed goes to get the girl and bring her in. The girl is...

"IT'S SEXY TIME!!" Zoe shouts!! Eddy chuckles while Double-D is shocked: "Zoe?! Ed, you brought ZOE?!"

"No other girl would do it." Ed explains: "And Zoe said she can be real exotic!"

"Hiya, big boy!" Zoe says seductively as she steps towards Paul, rocking her hips and undoing her pigtails to let her hair flow. "Ready to have a good time?"

Paul makes a pervy smile but quickly snaps himself out of it: "Don't succumb, Paul. Cray-Z's only twelve; she don't even got tits yet."

Zoe licks her lips as she wraps her arms around Paul and starts stroking and massaging his back, arms and neck. Ed and Eddy giggle!

"Look into my eyes! What do ya see?!" Zoe asks Paul in a sexy tone, tickling Paul's groin to arouse him! Paul is now blushing and sweating, trying to suppress another pervy grin...

"I... I... I see a WILD GIRL, WHOOOO!! GIVE IT TO ME, BABY!!" Paul tells Zoe.

"OK!" Zoe starts rolling her butt against Paul's groin, singing "BOOTY BOOTY ROLL, BOOTY BOOTY ROLL, BOOTY ROLL!!"

"Damn, she's good!" Eddy comments, and Double-D is mortified as Zoe continues her lapdance on Paul:

"OH YES, YESSSS!!!" Paul screams with pleasure!

"CAN YOU FEEL IT, CAN YOU FEEL IT, CAN YOU FEEL IT?!!" Zoe asks as she intensifies her lapdance.

"I FEEEEEEL IIIIT!!" Paul answers, freeing his arms from the tape and throwing them in the air as Zoe continues grinding on him. He screams "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Then his joy is ended by a brilliant pain that makes him shed a tear! He got an erection, and Zoe stomped it! Paul limps off the armchair and falls to the floor, holding his you-know-what while yelping in agony!! Eddy and Ed are rolling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably while Double-D is facepalming!

"I wish I caught that on camera!" Eddy says between laughs.

"Oh, did I hurt you?" Zoe asks Paul, kneeling down to him: "Aw, I'm sorry! We'll try again tomorrow, ok?!"

"Th-Thank you... Cray-Z!..." Paul thanks.


The next day, steps three and four are repeated. This time, Paul got ninety-three zaps from the shock collar during school. And when Zoe gives him another lapdance, he tries harder to control himself. Seeing this, Zoe takes thing up a notch:

"PUCKER UP!!" Zoe plants a big, wet kiss on Paul's lips, causing him to fail the same exact way as before!

The next day, Paul gets zapped fifty-seven times during school, but still miserably fails against Zoe's advances. But this time, he leaps away to avoid Zoe's punishing stomp, much to Ed's and Eddy's chagrin as Ed wanted to record Paul's pain with his webcam!

The next day, Paul gets zapped only sixteen times, impressing his friends and Rolf comments "Impressive, Paul boy! You've come a long way, dawg! Word, yes?!"

And when Zoe comes onto him again, Paul finally manages to suppress his sexual urge!

"WAY TO GO, PAUL!!" the Eds cheer and hi-five Paul, who tries doing a victory dance but falls because Zoe is still humping his leg!

"Zoe, you could stop now." Double-D says while covering his eyes. Zoe replies "Wait, just gimme another half-minute!"


The next day, the Eds and Paul are heading to the mall via the retro van.

"Are you ready for the final test, Paul?" Double-D asks.

"I got it in the bag!" Paul confidently answers as Double-D parks in one of the parking lots, and the four enter the mall. Inside, many girls pass by Paul, but he manages to keep his composure. When they reach a coffee stand named "Java Jilly's," a girl offers iced latte shots on a platter:

"Iced latte, gentlemen?" she asks.

"Thank you!" The Eds each take one, but Paul takes a bit longer as he stares at the girl...

"........ You ok?" she asks.

"Oh, I'm fine!.... You're real pretty!" Paul comments the girl's looks as he takes one shot and goes to catch up with the Eds. When they pass a women's clothing store with lingerie-wearing mannequins standing up front, Paul freezes up again.

"Remember Paul, suppress it." Double-D reminds Paul, who manages to turn away from the mannequins, saying "It's ok, I'm good!"

The boys continue into a pet shop, where Jonny works: "Hey, guys!" he greets while putting a puppy into a petting pen.

While the Eds chat with Jonny, Paul sees a girl kneeling down to look into a lizard tank, showing off her butt in the process. Despite being aroused, Paul contains himself. Then he sees a big-breasted girl at the register, where we see Plank as the cashier!

"Keep it in, Paul. Don't let yo rehab go to waste." Paul mentally tells himself while backing away. Then a female co-worker of Jonny approaches him:

"Hi, are you looking for something?" she asks, but Paul just sweats while staring at her luscious lips. Ed notices this and alerts his fellow Eds and Jonny:

"Guys, Paul!" Ed points to Paul, who answers Jonny's co-worker: "Nah I was just leavin, babe! Later!"

Paul runs out of the store, sweating as he struggles to keep his perversion from resurfacing. He runs across into another women's store, where he finds himself surrounded by bras, panties, and other lingerie!

"Shit!" Paul runs out, but he soon spots a poster of a woman posing in a skimpy dress! He makes a pervy grin, but he quickly covers it and sweats more. He runs again, much to the worry of the Eds & Jonny who are chasing him.

"WAIT, PAUL!" Double-D calls, but Paul keeps going until he's stopped by the sight of girls playing in a fountain with wet T-shirts.

"Oh man, feelin horny!" Paul mutters, but he holds his crotch again and runs, with the Eds and Jonny still chasing him.

"PAUL, STOP!" Ed shouts, but Paul rushes up an escalator, and screams at the sight of every girl he encounters on the second floor! When he sees Nazz...

"AAAAHH!!" Paul screams like a girl and runs from Nazz, who looks at the screen in confusion. Paul runs and runs until he reaches a security camera monitor room, where he sees the cameras monitoring women's stores and dressing rooms. Seeing all the women shopping and dressing...

"No no no no no..." Paul panics as he's about to succumb to his bottled-up perversion, but then sees a black girl unconscious on the floor in the "Fitz-n-Wahlgren's" store:

"THAT'S IT!!!" Paul zips to Fitz-n-Wahlgren's, finds the unconscious black girl, and starts kissing her in the lips. Unknown to him, the Eds, Jonny, Nazz, security guards, and others are watching him do it!! And after several seconds, the girl bursts back to life, knocking Paul back while she takes a breather.

"You... You saved me!!" the black girl thanks Paul, hugging him much to his confusion!

"YAY, PAUL!!" the Eds and Jonny pick up Paul and toss him up-&-down. Paul asks "What did I do?"

"You saved this young lady's life by performing CPR!" a security guard answers.

"What the hell's CPR?" Paul asks.


Afterwards, Double-D is in Eddy's kitchen, talking to someone on his cellphone: "But Paul didn't know what CPR was, and he was actually trying to molest Tracy while she was unconscious.................. But still, Tracy loved him for reviving her and she became his girlfriend. So you don't need to worry about him spying on you in the ladie's room anymore, for now at least!...................... Yeah, tell your sisters, too!.... Ok bye, Marie!"

Double-D ends his call and goes to Eddy's room, where Eddy is reading some porn magazines! Double-D sees Paul's signatures on the magazine covers:

"Eddy, did you take those from Paul? We were supposed to get rid of those." Double-D reminds Eddy.

"Ok, I took some when nobody was lookin. But only because these are real good magazines!" Eddy reasons. "Besides, Paul won't be needin em anymore!"

Double-D is appalled at first, but then he just shrugs it off and leaves while Eddy continues looking through porn.

The End!!!


Trivia: Java Jilly's is named after the show's design consultant, Jilly Mentiply. Tracy is named after Tracy Matthews, the show's online editor. And for those who haven't read "Rise of The Gourd," Fitz-n-Wahlgren's is named after Erin Fitzgerald (Nazz's voice) and Kari Wahlgren (my ideal choice for voicing Jenna).

And for those with deviantArt accounts, I have my third Teen Series pic up!