Thanks for reviews, I hope you all liked the last chapter that I got up. I really should be revising but instead I'm writing this for all of you lovely people who are reading this.
I really do appreciate the fact that people are actually reading this.
I hope you enjoy this next chapter, I am trying to update more often, but it might be a while after this so be patient. I'm not going anywhere :)
Enjoy
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SKINS AND I DON'T OWN THE SONG LYRICS I USE.
NAOMI'S POV
I don't think I have ever been so nervous about anything in my life, ever! Fucking hell, I don't get nervous. The effect this girl has on me still surprises me. I can't believe she is able to make me feel nervous and then lose the ability to concentrate on anything because she just looks so bloody gorgeous all the time.
Since she had agreed to meet up I had repeatedly changed my outfit choice. Do I want to be revealing? Well no, not over revealing anyway, but I don't want to seem like I'm having a midlife crisis and lack any confidence what so ever. Of course I have the confidence, I'm Naomi Campbell for fucks sake. I am the physical embodiment of confidence! Well maybe more like the physical embodiment of witty remarks and sarcasm, either way I am confident within myself. I don't give a shit what people think. But Emily isn't just any other person. She's my Emily, I love her, she's the only person I love.
In the end I settled on my "I love crap" t-shirt, it's a classic, with a simple skirt and an old jacket, that I've always loved, it might belong to Emily. That's probably why I love it so much. Along with this combo I've got with my blue vans. You have got to love a pair of vans. Even if they do make my feet look bigger than normal. I need to remember. It's all in proportion. PROPORTION is the key.
The moment I saw her leaving the library I lost all train of coherent thought. She looked tired, so fucking tired. I hate that I do this to her. One of my aims today will be to make Emily smile, a simple task that could take a lot of work, but I think I have a good idea.
"I never thought you would be one to work in a library Miss Fitch. Nice." And just to top off my banter, the Naomi Campbell wink is thrown into the mix. Wait. Wait. Wait. YES! I got the smile I was after. That sweet smile, that smile which just embodies Emily.
We walked for a bit, idly chatting, probably just preventing the inevitable conversation. The reason why we were both here.
We ended up settling in a secluded spot behind the gym next to the university, we probably would have gone to the pond again but it seemed the local teenagers had set up camp there, and were not going to be moving any time soon. God I sound like I'm 90, I was one of those annoying teenagers at one point or another, but that was about a year or so ago.
I've just realised I have completely zoned out of the current conversation that was taking place with the stunning red head who I was trying to win back. This is obviously a good move on my part. I do know how to make a girl feel very special. I think she might have noticed due to the blank expression on my face, but this seems to amuse her greatly. I'm glad my stupidity amuses someone right now, because it's just pissing me off at this present time.
"So Naoms..." Shit she's talking to me, actually to me now, eye contact and all. Yep, I definitely feel like a teenager again right now, I'm just shocked, she's initiating this conversation with me, oh for fucks sake, pull yourself together.
Right I'm going to do it. Be brave Naomi, you can do this! You're not that shit head teenager anymore who fucks up peoples lives and is scared of any kind of proximity with anyone. No! You've grown out of that, you've learnt from the biggest mistake in your life which was letting Emily go, and now you are going to fix it. Or possibly fuck it up even more, whatever floats your boat.
"Ems, I think we should go out." Silence. Shit that can't be good. She looks shocked. Shit! To be honest I didn't mean to say it like that, I was going to be subtle but I ruined that thought.
"Em? You know I didn't mean to just say that in such an abrupt manner, but I'm panicking, and I wasn't meaning to say that either really. Fuck." Time to drop my head and stare at the grass. I puff my cheeks and continue my staring contest. Who knew that grass was so good at not blinking? Those crafty strands of whatever grass is made up of. I was never one for biology.
"Naoms?" Slowly but surely I raise my head and see, again, an amused Emily.
"Do you want to start that all again?" Fucking hell she's perfect especially with that cheeky grin on her face, I don't get how we can be like this even after all the shit that has happened over the course of this week. I nod at her, thankful for this chance to try and redeem myself by not making myself look like a complete tit, I doubt this will go well either, but I can try.
"Okay. Emily, since you've been gone I've been a completely miserable arse. I have pissed your sister and Effy off to no end, with my moping around. I haven't let myself enjoy life since you've been gone. Emily, you are what made me, who I was. not the bitch part, but the part that was a better person. The part that was happier. The part that really was less lonely."
"When I'm with you I feel like I'm a better person, I feel happier. Less alone, less lonely."
"I want to start again Emily, I want us to be together again. I'm not asking us to just go back to how we were, cos that's just stupid cos I fucked it up good and proper and I made you feel like things were your fault. I shouldn't have done that, I really shouldn't, and I really am sorry, but I was fucked up, like really fucked up and I fucked you up, I fucked everything..." Hmmm?
I hadn't realised how much I was rambling. Do I ramble that much. WHY THE FUCK AM I THINK ABOUT THIS NOW WHILE I HAVE EMILY'S LIPS ATTACHED TO MINE. When did this happen. She'd obviously just launched herself at me hoping it would shut me up, and that did work. But this doesn't feel like a kiss for kissings sake. It's full of want, need. Fuck she needs me as much as I need her. Before I'm able to actually reciprocate the intensity she pulls away from me and just looks down. Shit.
"Sorry, I just...Fucks sake" She's frustrated, whenever she's frustrated her eye brows knot together, really she looks very sweet when she does that.
"It's fine, so Em, will you go out with me? Like on a date, a proper date. And that sounds really really cheesy, sorry." She looks at me, considering what I've said. At least she hasn't said no to me instantly.
"Naoms, pick me up from mine later yeah? Like 7?" Wait, what? Is that her saying that I can take her on a date?
"Is that you saying I can take you on a date?" Yep, confident Naomi is back with a vengeance, the eye brow is cocked appropriately, and the smirk is there also.
"Naomi, we can't just be together, we still have too much to talk about, but I will go out with you. Who knew you had a romantic side eh? I'll see you later yeah?" We really do have a lot to talk about but I'm getting somewhere.
"Well I didn't know, everything once though right?"
"Yeah well, everything once right?"
"Do you want to do blowbacks?"
"I never got blowbacks. Why can't people just smoke the damn thing straight?"
"Cos it's fun. Have you even tried it?"
"No, but being all-seeing, I already know it's shit."
"Come on everything once."
"Ahh fuck it. Go ahead and disappoint me."
"I also don't know where you live Em." I am hopeless.
"I'll text you okay? Who knew Naomi Campbell would get so stressed about a date." I can honestly say this moment right now is the most stressed I've been before, even exams didn't match this right now. This girl will really be the death of me.
I can't believe all of that just happened, and now I'm standing outsides Emily's block of flats, trying to will myself to push her button. God that really sounds like a bad sexual innuendo. I should think before I...well before I think. Fucking hell! NAOMI CAMPBELL PULL YOURSELF THE FUCK TOGETHER! TAKE YOUR BRAINS ADVICE AND DO WHAT IT SAYS DAMMIT!
I finally made myself push the button and now low and behold look who's standing in front of me looking ridiculously beautiful. Emily Fitch. My Emily Fitch. Smiling back at me that Emily smile, her eyes looking alive for the first time since I got here. Now Naomi remember, don't be awkward or anything, cos that is not a good plan. Fuck she really is beautiful, what I wouldn't do to just push her into her flat, lock the door and have my way with her. That is so inappropriate right now!
It really is better to take risks than to live without knowing, because now all of those what ifs and regrets I have, have just become slightly less painful.
Time for round 3.
It's time for a change, it's time for a move. And I know that it's frightening but it's oh so exciting, I'm taking a risk that I know is worth fighting...
The Art of Falling - Greg Holden
You had me at Hello - A Day to Remember
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