Whew, this one took me forever to complete, and I sincerely apologize for being so late. But EEnE's LDL is complete and ready to be read! Oh and I forgot to mention this last chapter, but the Kankers and Rachel are up on my deviantArt if you wanna see them!


Ian smirks as he walks into the gym with his brainwashed harem.

"Hold up, I thought Grungy Blue and Strawberry were with DD and QB." Paul says, confused at how Marie and Christine are with Ian.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN WITH MY GIRL?!" Steve angrily asks Ian.

"Wh-What's going on here?" Double-D asks . "Marie?... MARIE, CAN YOU HEAR ME?! PLEASE RESPOND!"

"WHAT IS THIS, IAN?!" Eddy asks. "I ONLY PAID YA TO TAKE MARIE AND MAY, NOT ALL THE GIRLS!"

Ed, Double-D, Lee, May and Rachel are shocked by what Eddy just revealed!

"NO!! FUCK YOU, EDDY! I'M STAYIN WITH ED!!" May holds onto Ed.

"Normally, I would let you be, May. But Eddy's right; I was paid to take you!" Ian says, rolling his sexy eyebrows at May. She looks at Ian's sexy rolling eyebrows...

"Ian... Oh, IIIaaannn!..." May's eyes become pink and swirly!

"May?..." Ed looks at May smiling at Ian, then she throws Ed aside and runs towards Ian.

"MAY, NO!" Lee tries getting May, but Rachel stops her: "It's too late. Ian got her."

"Now for the rest of you girls..." Ian begins: "As a Valentine, I was born with far greater sex appeal than normal men. So why work at all, when you can always have women around to do it for you?! I have my girls do all my schoolwork, and I also have em do all my dirty work at home! And on Valentines Day, I have em work their bodies for my amusement! And with that, mi ladies, it's time to pleasure me!"

"GIRLS, DON'T LOOK AT HIM!" Rachel warns all the unbrainwashed girls.

"You heard Ray Ray, Tracy! Let's get...... Tracy?" Paul sees that Tracy's already been brainwashed. "NO!"

Paul tries shaking Tracy back to her senses, but she kicks Paul away and joins Ian.

"STAY AWAY FROM OUR GIRLS!!" Kevin yells, lunging at Ian with Ed, Paul and Steve. But Ian's girls grab them.

"NOW I KNOW WHY YOU ALWAYS TRANSFER FROM SCHOOL-TO-SCHOOL!" Kevin figures out while breaking free of the girls: "BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS GOT THE LIVING SHIT BEAT OUT OF YOU FOR STEALIN OTHER BOYS' GIRLFRIENDS! AND GUESS WHAT, IT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN AGAIN!!"

"You're right about me stealin other guys' babes." Ian admits. "But you're wrong when you say it's gonna repeat. You see, I learned how to use my girls better!"

Ian uses his girls to shield him from Kevin, Ed, Paul and Steve. Then Ian says "Grab em, girls!"

The girls grab Kevin, Ed, Paul and Steve and start taking them away.

"KEVIN!" Jenna moves to help Kevin, but Ian has his girls grab her. As Ian removes his hat to reveal his shiny combed hair to Jenna, Rachel grabs her leg and yanks her free from the brainwashed girls' grasp.

"Are you ok, Jenn?" Rachel asks, but Jenna turns to reveal she's been brainwashed by Ian's charm!

"Ian's HOT!" Jenna lunges at Rachel, who goes "Shit!" and KICKS Jenna in the eyes, giving her blackeyes and sending her flying out through a wall! Meanwhile, more and more girls are are subjected to Ian's hotness and they fall for him, and so his harem gets bigger and bigger. The boyfriends try taking their girls back, but Ian's harem quickly subdues them.

"NO!! JENN, JENNA!!" Kevin's screams are drowned out by Ian's girls pinning him down, but Ed continues struggling against them.

"WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" Lee yells to Rachel, who gets grabbed by the brainwashed Nazz, May and Marie.

"RACHEL!" Jacob tries helping Rachel, but more of Ian's girls beat him down and take him away.

"AGH!" Rachel struggles against Nazz, May & Marie. She punches and kicks Nazz & May off her, then subdues the tougher Marie by reversing her hold and slamming her. But then more girls grab Rachel.

"RACHEL, CATCH!" Lee pulls out her swordfish from inside her dress, and tosses it to Rachel. Rachel grabs it as the brainwashed girls bring her to Ian.

"Now Rachel, let me have your ass!" Ian has one of his girls blow a fan at him to make his fair flow and seduce Rachel. But Rachel is surprisingly unaffected!

"Pretty faces don't work on me, buddy. HAH!" Rachel swooshes Lee's swordfish at Ian, cutting off some of his hair! Seeing this, Ian gasps and freaks out. Some of his girls see his wrecked hair, and they appear to lose interest in him!

"That's it!" Rachel discovers Ian's weakness.

"NO!!" Ian panics and quickly reaches for his hat. He puts it back on and quickly uses his sexy face to re-brainwash the girls he lost, then he has them grab Rachel who was trying to escape.

"I'M COMIN, RACHEL!" Lee fights through Ian's girls to save Rachel, who's held in place for Ian to approach.

"So pretty faces don't work on you, eh? How about a pretty body, then?!" Ian takes off his suit and opens up his shirt, revealing his sexy haired chest and finely toned abs! His body shines for dramatic effect!

"RACHEL, NO!! LOOK AWAY!!" Lee yells.

"I CAN'T!" Rachel replies, her face being held in place to look at Ian. Then she falls for him, her normal voice becoming much higher-pitched: "HE'S SOO BEAUTIFULLLL!!!"

At that moment, Lee finally grabs Rachel and tugs against Ian's girls to take her. At the same time, Ed frees himself from Ian's girls. Ian tries using his girls to keep Ed in check, but he overwhelms them. To counter this, Ian focuses more of his girls into keeping Ed down, freeing Eddy and Double-D and allowing Lee to take Rachel away.

"You missed one, Ian!" Christine points at Lee escaping with Rachel on her shoulder.

"She ain't too hot, so I won't waste my charm on her." Ian lets Lee go, but she heard his remark and gets pissed. But she continues with Rachel on her shoulder to escape the gym with Double-D and Eddy while Ed and the other boys are taken away by Ian's harem.


Double-D, Eddy, Lee and Rachel hide inside a science classroom.

"Ian's sexy! Ian's so sexy!" Rachel babbles as Double-D tries in futility to restrain her.

"Assistance, please! Rachel's stronger than I am!" Double-D says, and Lee helps him pin Rachel to a lab table. Lee holds Rachel down while Double-D binds Rachel's arms and legs to her body using belt straps. Then he grabs a bucket from one of the classroom's cabinets.

"Ok Eddy, go fill this bucket with... Eddy?" Double-D sees that Eddy isn't with them. He peeks out the door and sees Eddy going down the hallway. Double-D calls out "Eddy, where are you going?"

"Home." Eddy answers.

"EDDY, YOU'RE NOT LEAVING!" Double-D tells Eddy, about to chase after him but Lee volunteers to do so instead.

"I'll deal with Eddy. You go back to Rachel. I think she still has some of herself intact." Lee says, running out to get Eddy. Double-D goes to Rachel, who looks at him.

"Douuuble-D..." She utters. "Ian's really hot, and as much as I'd hate to see him go down, I... I found his weakness."

"Rachel, how could still talk like that after falling for him?" Double-D asks.

"Lift the hair over my left eye." Rachel instructs. Double-D does so, revealing that Rachel's left eye is still its normal gray color, instead of swirly pink like her right!

"So that's it! Since you only saw him through one eye..." Double-D begins...

"... He only got half of me!" Rachel finishes!


Meanwhile, Eddy goes down the school's main hall and is about to leave through the front doors, but Lee blocks his way.

"........ I can't BELIEVE you're still followin me." Eddy says.

"I won't let you leave." Lee says.

"After all the shit I did today, why not?" Eddy asks.

"It's complicated." Lee answers.

"Complicated?..." Eddy asks: "What, you STILL want me after I didn't wanna dance with you? You STILL want me after I tried breakin up your sisters and my pals. You STILL want me even after I bitch-slapped May in front of you and everyone else?"

"I guess your parents never told you how complex girls can be, did they?" Lee asks.

"Complex?!....... HAHAHAHA!!" Eddy laughs. "I HARDLY CONSIDER YOU COMPLEX! HOW CAN AN ANNOYING, BLUE-TOOTHED, GINGER-CURLED WHORE LIKE YOU BE COMPLEX?!"

"BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I WAS JUST FOLLOWIN MOM'S EXAMPLE!" Lee shouts: "REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME WE MET?! THE FIRST TIME MY SISTERS AND I DRIED YOUR CLOTHES AND MADE YOU LUNCH?!"

"YEAH, BUT THEN YOU THREE WENT MAD AND SCARED US OUT!" Eddy shouts back.

"BECAUSE YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF OUR HOSPITALITY AND MADE US CRY!!" Lee yells over Eddy, then calms herself down. "Our mom got the same thing from May's dad, always relyin on her for money and never doin any real shit himself besides use her generosity after he sunk into alcoholism. He made Mom cry, and she chased him off in the end. That's why May, Marie and I did what we did to you and your buddies: to make you three pay the price for makin us cry. But even then, we still loved you, and madly at that. We all still felt we could connect with you three. We're all similar. You and I, for example. We're both made of leadership material. And from they way you always acted, I knew you were mad and lonely, and you wanted to be cool and fit in with the others. I know all too well what that's like..."

Flashback: We see a school called "JOHN MEIN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL," located in an Orange Harbor neighborhood with the lighthouse and Mondo-A-GoGo in the background. Inside, we see kindergarteners following their teachers into the cafeteria to eat. Among them is Young Lee, who looks mostly the same as in May's 2nd birthday photo from "My Ed For You," except her hair grew out a bit more. When the kindergarteners reach their tables, Lee approaches some of her peers.

"Hey, guys!" Lee greets. "Mind if I sit with ya?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" the kids laugh, and a blonde girl points out: "Yeah, right! Who would want an ugly duckling like you sittin with us?"

"Haha! Good one, Bonnie!" a boy laughs. As the kids laugh, Lee sheds a tear, then glares at them before walking away. Later, during recess, Lee is going through her mini-purse at the edge of the schoolyard when a boy suddenly snatches it out of her hands.

"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK, SAMUEL!" Lee chases Samuel.

"HEY GUYS, LOOK!" Samuel call to the other kids, then jokes "I'M A MUGGER STEALIN A LADY'S PURSE! WHO'S GONNA STOP ME!"

Lee angers as she chases Samuel across to the other side of the schoolyard. The other kindergarteners laugh at her all the while, except for Marie, May and Rachel. Rachel now wears a short-sleeved purple shirt, tight black pants, black sneakers, and her characteristic flower hairclip (while Marie and May look the same as in May's 2nd birthday photo). She, Marie and May watch in disgust as their peers laugh at Lee.

"HERE, BONNIE!" Samuel tosses Lee's mini-purse to Bonnie, who's also the leader of a group of girls.

"Ahh, so this is Lee's purse, eh?" Bonnie opens Lee's mini-purse.

"THAT'S MINE!" Lee rushes towards Bonnie, only to be restrained by Bonnie's friends. Bonnie takes a picture out of Lee's mini-purse. It's a picture of the Kankers' mom Ursula holding baby Lee, who wore a white one-piece with red polka-dots. The picture also reveals that Lee has blue eyes.

"Aww, is this your baby picture?" Bonnie asks in a mocking tone. "Heh, even then, your face was one only a mother would love."

"RRRRAAAAAGGHH!!" Lee shakes off Bonnie's lackeys and lunges at Bonnie herself, knocking her to the ground and Lee furiously wails on her.

"OW, MY FACE!!" Bonnie screams as Marie and Rachel pull Lee off of her.

"WHO'S THE UGLY DUCKLING NOW, HUH?!" Lee asks Bonnie, who's bruised and crying as her friends help her up.

"I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR FACE EVEN UGLIER THAN IT ALREADY IS!!" Bonnie angrily stomps towards Lee, then Marie jumps between them in Lee's defense.

"Back off Bonnie, unless you wanna lose what's left of your looks." Marie warns Bonnie, then...

"ENOUGH!" a teacher arrives, having been brought over by May.

"Bonnie bein a big bully! Bonnie and Samuel!" May explains as she and the teacher head over towards Lee, Marie, Samuel, and Bonnie & her group. Samuel tries running.

"Oh, no you don't." Rachel reaches for Samuel cartoon-style and pulls him back.

Back in the Kankers' apartment, Lee is sitting alone by her bedroom window when Ursula comes in.

"I've been told you attacked a girl in school. Didn't I tell ya to keep your hands off others unless defendin yourself?" Ursula asks, sitting on her daughters' bed.

"I know, but they always laugh at me and make fun of me whenever I try fittin in." Lee explains, starting to cry: "Like today. I tried sittin with the cool kids, but Bonnie called me an ugly duckling. She even said my face is one only you could love."

"Oh, Leah. Come here, baby." Ursula calls over Lee, who sits on her lap and cries into her chest. Ursula embraces Lee in a hug.

"I'm tired of it, Mom." Lee angrily says. "I HATE cool kids! Everything comes so easy for em, and I get none of that cuz I'm UGLY!!"

Ursula puts her finger on Lee's chin to point her face up and wipe her tears: "Don't you dare call yourself ugly again. You are NOT ugly. You are Leah Belle Kanker, and you'll always be beautiful in your own way. Don't let the other kids put ya down and don't EVER give up on anythin, because the blood of the Kanker clan flows through your veins. You're my first-born on top of that, so ya gotta stay strong and set a good example for your sisters. Promise me you'll do so."

"..... I promise!..." Lee answers, smiling. Then Rod calls Ursula from downstairs: "URSULA!.... URSIE!! COME COOK ME SOMETHIN, WILL YA?!"

"HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES, ROD!" Ursula shouts to Rod, then tells Lee: "Just remember, Leah: Kankers never give up." Ursula kisses Lee's forehead. "Now excuse me, I'm gonna go cook up a burger for Rod cuz the way to a man's heart is through his arteries!"

With that, Ursula goes downstairs to cook for Rod.

End Flashback

"And because Mom told me Kankers never give up, I never gave up on you." Lee says. "Even when I got pissed when you dated Nazz two years ago, I still didn't give up. And I never will until I win you over."

Eddy is silent for a moment, sighs, then he finally speaks up: "You know what, Lee? It's about time I've admitted it. You... already won my heart, four years ago."

"Huh?..." Lee's eyes bug out in surprise! "... All this time-"

"Yeah." Eddy answers before Lee finishes her question. "I actually thought you were ok when you stood up for me at my brother's place, but that wasn't enough to make me like you. Then that day came..."

Eddy remembers when Lee saved him by throwing him out of the way of Cucurbitron's slamming fist during "Rise of The Gourd."

"After that, a part of me thought 'Hey, Lee really is a good person.'" Eddy explains: "But the bad part of me thought 'No, that skank's ugly and she doesn't deserve you after all the crap she did.' And even though you got clean teeth now and you're not really that ugly anymore, I still couldn't bring myself to forgive you for what you did. So I followed my bad side, and that's why I couldn't accept Ed and Double-D gettin together with your sisters. I was afraid that us datin you three would ruin our reputations. But you kept goin through my thoughts. I hooked up with Nazz to get you out of my head, but that didn't work, so I broke up with her after a while. Then I tried gettin with the other hot girls so I wouldn't have to hear my friends talk shit about me datin you. But now I realize... I don't gotta worry about that anymore, cuz everyone's ok with Ed & May and Double-D & Marie. I fucked up horribly today, and now I wanna set things right again for my friends. For Double-D and Ed. For your sisters. And... for you, Lee."

Lee smiles, then grabs Eddy to give him a hug! Then they hear clapping behind them. They look, and see Double-D!

"I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried, Eddy!" he exclaims, having heard the entire thing. "Now come! Rachel discovered that Ian's charm diminishes should his looks be damaged. And I also found where the other guys are being held."


A short period later, Eddy is using one of his hairs to pick the lock on Ian's locker. He successfully opens it, takes out a photo of Ian, and rushes to join Double-D and Lee upstairs. They are peeking into one of the hallways, where Ed and the other boys are imprisoned inside lockers and are being kept inside by some of Ian's girls. Several girls, including May, are on Ed's locker to prevent him from breaking out.

"Ok, here ya go." Eddy gives Ian's photo to Lee, who jumps into the hallway to distract the girls with Ian's photo: "LOOK, GIRLS! I GOT IAN'S CLASS PHOTO!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" the girls all scream in joy, and Lee leads them away using Ian's photo. Eddy and Double-D then open up the lockers to free the boys.

"Ok boys, listen up!" Eddy says. "We gotta team up to distract the rest of Ian's girls to create an opening and take him down."

"RIGHT ON!" Jonny exclaims.


In the gym, the rest of Ian's girls are taking turns giving him lapdances, much to his pleasure.

"Hehe, I love bein sexy!" Ian says to himself as Nazz steps up to give him a lapdance. Then the gym doors open, and the boys enter! A baffled Ian asks "How did you all escape?"

"Your girls are total fools for ya. That's how!" Eddy answers.

"CHAAARRRGGE!!" Kevin yells, and the boys charge.

"Get em, girls!" Ian has his girls attack the boys, who brace themselves as the girls grab onto them. They keep the girls in place, and they tug and push against each other, effectively creating a stalemate. Even Double-D takes part in it, though he's holding off a weaker girl.

"Wait, I only got half my harem with me, which means... they're only blocking half the boys!" Ian realizes.

"HE'S OPEN!" Double-D shouts, and Ed pops up behind Ian.

"YAH!" Ed throws a punch, but Ian ducks to avoid it. He grabs Ed's foot to throw him away, but more boys appear to attack Ian, forcing him to run.

"What's the matter, Ian? Can't fight like a man?!" Kevin asks as he throws punches at the evading Ian. Then Lee arrives, luring in the second half of Ian's girls with his school picture.

"THANK YOU! GIRLS!" Ian calls over the second half of his harem, using them to keep the other boys away from himself. "Whew, my looks are safe!"

"You're forgettin about the one single guy here: ME!" Jonny is able to grab Ian from behind since he has no date, thus there was no girl to hold him back!

"Shit, shit!" Ian struggles out of Jonny's grasp, but Jonny throws a punch that knocks off Ian's hat, revealing his cut hair.

"MY HAT!" Ian tries retrieving his hat, but Jonny stomps it. Some of Ian's girls see his messed-up hair, and they lose interest in him!

" NO GIRLS, I'M STILL SEXY! SEE?!" Ian covers up his hair with his hands, and tries making a seductive face.

"You should be usin yo hands to block my punches, Pretty Boy!" Paul leaps at Ian and PUNCHES him in the cheek. Not only does this give Ian a nasty bruise, but Paul's punch also sends him sliding along the floor, dirtying his tux. Nazz, Marie, and several more girls lose interest in Ian as a result.

"WHOO!!" Double-D cheers as Eddy goes in to help thrash Ian, who receives sweet chin music from Kevin. Lee brings in Rachel to show Ian getting pummeled, and Rachel, Jenna & several more girls lose interest! Then the girls laugh at Ian as he gets owned by their boyfriends.

"And you said this wouldn't repeat." Kevin tells Ian as the latter gets up. Kevin grabs Ian's sleeve and Ian tries yanking him off, causing his sleeve to rip.

"Ugh..." Ian angrily growls, removing his tux. "I don't need clothes! ALL I NEED IS MY BODY TO GET THE GIRLS BACK!!"

"Think again!" Eddy zips by and rips off Ian's chest hairs, causing him to SCREAM and hold his chest in pain. While he does so, Steve and Jacob grab his arms to hold him in place.

"WE GOT HIM, ED!" Steve and Jacob signal Ed, who RAMS his head right into Ian's stomach in slow-motion, forcing saliva out of Ian's mouth and sending him flying into a far wall, cracking it and he falls to the floor!! Now Ian has blackeyes, a severely beaten face with several lost teeth, and a huge bruise on his stomach where Ed rammed him!! As he gets up, he sees Lee looking down on him.

"Y'know, if only you seduced me earlier instead of lettin me go just because I was less attractive, you probably wouldn't be in this mess." Lee tells Ian.

"Hey, we're both ugly now, so I can still get ya!" Ian tries making a sexy face (a very screwed-up one), but Lee merely responds "How pathetically desperate." and kicks Ian to the floor. Then Eddy jumps on his back and grabs his hair, and Lee's swordfish is passed to Eddy.

"Now for the grand finale, ladies and gentlemen!" Eddy prepares to cut off Ian's hair, so Ian panics and struggles even harder. But Eddy holds onto Ian's hair, causing it to come off and revealing that it's actually a wig, which in turn means that Ian is actually BALD!!! Eddy just looks bug-eyed at the wig he's holding, while everyone else stares at Ian...

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" everyone laughs at the now-hideous Ian, who finally succumbs and breaks down. He runs away screaming, jumping outside through the hole made by Rachel kicking Jenna through the wall earlier. Everyone cheers Ian's defeat, and Kevin sees Jenna!

"JENN, I'M OVER HERE!" Kevin calls over Jenna, and she rushes over. Seeing Jenna's blackeyes (from Rachel kicking her), Kevin asks "What happened to your eyes, babe?"

"It feels like I got kicked or somethin." Jenna (correctly) guesses.

"Eh, no matter. Your eyes are still pretty!" Kevin says, and Jenna hugs and kisses him. Then romantic music starts playing as all the other boys and girls search for and rejoin their rightful soulmates, including Steve & Christine, Rachel & Jacob, and Paul & Tracy. But Nazz, whose date was Ian, is now alone and crying on the sidelines.

"Stupid Ian. I don't even have a date now." Nazz sobs, then Jonny approaches her.

"I'll take your hand!" Jonny offers, and after a moment, Nazz smiles and takes his hand. Jonny then says: "You know, Nazz?.... After Plank and I went evil-insane four years ago, I was..... kinda happy you never gave up hope that I would change back! Thanks for... savin me from the other kids!"

"Aw, you're welcome, Jonny!" Nazz replies. "And PS, I always kinda found your evironmental side and dance skills attractive!"

"Really?!" Jonny asks, and Nazz sweetly answers "Really!!..."

Meanwhile, Ed and Double-D rekindle with May and Marie while Eddy watches from a table. Lee comes behind him.

"Well, Eddy! You set everythin right again as you said, except you still gotta apologize to May." Lee pushes Eddy to May.

"Ugh... I'm sorry, May." Eddy mumbles his apology.

"Apology accepted!" May cartoonishly hugs Eddy and pushes him back to Lee. Marie then says "Ok, let's get back to dancin already!"

All the couples move to the dance floor to dance to the slow music. As they dance, Lee asks Eddy "So, since you said I'm not that 'ugly' anymore, how do I look, then?"

"Uhhh... Well, I can't exactly say you look hot either, but... I'll just say you're beautiful in your own way!" Eddy answers, and they continue dancing along with the other couples.

Then the screen flashes to show several pictures from the dance. The first is of the Eds, Kevin, Jonny and Paul posing together. The second is of the Kankers, Jenna (her eyes magically healed), Nazz and Tracy doing the same. The third is Jenna pulling Kevin by his tie towards her. The fourth is Jonny and Nazz embracing. The fifth is of the Eds and Jacob with the Kankers and Rachel. The sixth is Ed holding May in his arms. The seventh is Double-D nervously holding Marie's hips from behind while she amorously sticks her tongue at him. The last...

... Is of Eddy and Lee kissing!!

Happy Valentines Day!!!


Trivia: John Mein Elementary, the school that the Kankers and Rachel attended as little kids, is named after one of the show's writers, John Mein. And Lee's old bullies Bonnie and Samuel are named after Bonnie Reid and Samuel To, who are respectively the show's color and prop designers.

And I'm very much aware that some of you guys aren't exactly fans of EdsxKankers, particularly EddyxLee. But since I like EdxMay and EddxMarie, it's only fair that I have EddyxLee as well to complete the triangle, and I wrote Lee's background so you can sympathize with her and accept her more. But the Ed/Kanker romance will only be a side story through the rest of the Teen Series, so no worries (or complaints) there. As for Jonny & Nazz... Well, I just like odd couples! :D

One more thing: since I'm very busy with college work, chances are most upcoming chapters will be late from now on, so expect them to come between Thursdays and Saturdays. See ya'll around!