I'm jumping ahead a month in cartoon time to begin this first of the springtime episodes. Read and enjoy the smell of fresh flowers!
Oh, and I put in a hint in this episode that will foreshadow a later event.
Episode #16: Eds n Chips
Spring has come to Peach Creek. Flowers are blooming, butterflies are fluttering about, and the air is full of music, both from birds and...
... Kyle's guitar! Sarah, Jimmy and Zoe are sitting on Kyle's lawn, snapping their fingers as Kyle plays a guitar tune while sitting on his doorstep. Sarah, Jimmy and Zoe clap after Kyle finishes his song.
"Excellent tune, my man!" Jimmy comments.
"Thanks, here's my new one!" Kyle readies himself again, rolling his eyebrows at Sarah and Zoe! "This one's for you, ladies!"
"OH, I JUST LOVE LOVE LOVE NEW GUITAR SONGS!!" Zoe exclaims, shaking Sarah while asking "DO YOU LOVE LOVE LOVE NEW GUITAR SONGS?!"
"GET OFF ME!" Sarah pushes Zoe away.
"Cut it out, girls. Pay attention to Kyle." Jimmy tells Sarah and Zoe, but then they all hear a loud CRASH from the first cul-de-sac, followed by the bellowing of a bull...
Rolf's bull Julian is running all around the farm in a mad frenzy, and Rolf and the Eds are trying to stop him. The CRASH sound was from Julian destroying Rolf's shed.
"EDDY, ROLF TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL WITH JULIAN!!" Double-D reprimands Eddy.
"Ugh, everything's gotta be MY fault, right?" Eddy asks in retaliation while Meggy, Victor and the llama flee from the rampaging Julian.
"TURKEY EYES, OPEN THE BASEMENT SO PHEASANT TAIL CAN EVACUATE THE LIVESTOCK!!" Rolf tells Double-D while Ed gathers all the other livestock. Rolf himself leaps in front of the oncoming Julian, then he puts on grappling gloves. "Brace yourself, Rolf..."
Rolf grabs Julian's horns right when the bull charges into him, but Julian quickly starts thrashing around to shake off Rolf. He rams through Rolf's back door and into the house with him, and from inside we hear his parents' and Nano's screams!
"HOLY LORD!!" Double-D screams in horror at Julian tearing up the house's interior while Ed safely hides the other farm animals in the basement. Rolf's dad Noah is sent flying out through the roof by Julian and he hits the ground head-first, while his wife Hanna flees the kitchen with a stack of pots with Nano on top. They all look the same as in "Holly Jolly Holiday," but without the Yeshmiyek adornments and Hanna has wooden shoes.
"I knew bringin that bull was a bad idea." Nano says.
"WAIT, WHERE IS MAMA?!" Hanna frantically looks around for her mom, Rolf's Nana. Meanwhile, Julian barges out through the front with Rolf still on his horns, but now he finally manages to throw off Rolf, sending him flying into support beam. This breaks the beam, causing Nana's bed to fall through the ceiling, flattening Rolf and awakening Nana.
"MUST I TELL YOU ALL TO KEEP IT DOWN?! Nana angrily yells, then she sees what happened and screams something in her native language. Then she asks "IS MY LLAMA OK?!"
"WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS BOVINE TRAGEDY?!" Noah asks the Eds, and Ed & Double-D point to Eddy. "You shall be punished with one hundred peckings from an angry cock. But first, you three and Rolf shall ride our equines and retrieve Julian while I fix up the household."
"YESSIR!" the Eds affirm as Noah fetches horses for the Eds and Rolf, and they chase after Julian who's wildly ramming into several of the cul-de-sac houses and he knocks a car and the retro van skywards, bellowing and roaring all the while. Rolf passes lassos to the Eds as they chase Julian around the center of the cul-de-sac, then down the street.
"CHINLESS AND BIG-CHINNED ED BOYS, GO FOR THE HORNS!" Rolf tells Ed and Double-D, who each lasso Julian by his horns. They pull, making Julian rear back and yelp. But then Julian reverses the situation by leaping and throwing his head downwards, freeing himself from the lassos and slinging Ed & Double-D off their horses and into the air.
"AAAAAHHH!!" Ed and Double-D scream as they fly through the air, with Ed adding "I'M NOT IN MY HAPPY PLACE, DOUBLE-D!" as they fall and crash-land several blocks away! Rolf and Eddy continue after Julian as he goes a bit into the lane, then through the fence into the playground. Julian knocks over a tree, which Eddy and Rolf jump over with their horses while Julian's horns catch on the swings, entangling himself as he swings up.
"WHOA!" Eddy steers his horse out of the way as Julian swings back down, knocking down Rolf's horse and sending Rolf flying head-first into the sandbox. Then Julian frees himself from the swings and jumps the over the fence at the end of the playground to enter the second cul-de-sac, with Eddy in close pursuit. Sarah, Jimmy, Zoe and Kyle are waving Kyle's mom goodbye as she backs her station wagon out of the garage.
"Bye, Kyle! Bye, kids!" Kyle's mom waves goodbye as she takes out her garage's remote. But before she can close the garage, Julian shoves his horns under her wagon and sends it flying up into the air, and her garage remote lands on the lawn.
"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!" Jimmy screams as he and the others run, and Eddy throws his lasso at Julian. But he only catches Julian's tail, and Julian spins to swing Eddy off his horse and around. Eddy is swung towards Kyle and he grabs Kyle's arm, causing Kyle to be swung along with him.
"KYLE, GRAB SOMETHIN!" Eddy tells Kyle, but Kyle responds "I CAN'T! I'M HOLDIN MY GUITAR!"
"FORGET THE STUPID GUITAR!" Eddy throws Kyle's guitar away, and it in the doorway of Kyle's garage. And when Eddy threw the guitar, he let go of his lasso to do so, so he and Kyle hit the ground as Julian kicks out with his back legs. Eddy is KICKED into Kyle's garage, then Julian sets his eyes on Kyle, who braces himself for the worst, but at the last moment...
"SLAHARGH!!" Rolf reappears and grabs the lasso on Julian's tail to draw him back, then uses his own lasso to fight Julian in a cloud of dust. The fight ends with Rolf tying Julian's legs together and standing on top of him in a dramatic victory pose!
"YOU ARE SAFE, CHILDREN, FOR THE BEAST HAS BEEN TAMED!" Rolf declares so the youngsters come out of hiding, then he tells himself "And note to Rolf: never rehire the careless Ed boy for Nincompoop position ever again."
"WHOO!! MOST WICKED, ROLF!!" Zoe runs towards Rolf. "Oh my God, Rolf, that was so awesome! You are awesome! You ooze awesomeness! And YOU deserve your own SPINOFF!!"
"Whoo, way to go, Rolf!" Eddy cheers as he comes out of Kyle's garage, with a huge kick mark on his face from Julian's foot. "I'm glad that's over!"
As Eddy walks out of the garage and across Kyle's lawn towards Rolf, he steps on Kyle's mom's garage remote, closing the garage's shutter...
... And it crushes Kyle's guitar under it. Kyle sees this, and his eyes bug out!!
"Come, screwer-upper Ed boy. Now you must endure the punishment Papa has sentenced upon you." Rolf grabs Eddy by his hairs and takes him away on horseback, also dragging Julian behind his horse. As they go, they hear Kyle SCREAMING and SCREAMING as he holds the pieces of his shattered guitar in his arms. He has a crushed look on his face, and Jimmy, Zoe and Sarah gather around him as he SCREAMS and SCREAMS and SCREAMS!!!
Kyle's extremely loud SCREAMING continues on throughout the day and into the night, and the neighborhood is unable to sleep because of it! Zoe lays in her bed, her bedtime attire consisting of a shoulderless black belly shirt with long sleeves and yellow sweatpants reaching just above her ankles. Despite living just two houses away from Kyle, she's able to sleep through his SCREAMING, though her dreaming appears to be affected by the SCREAMS.
"Hey, you... Yeah, you there... Shut up cuz I'm... I'm tryna have some fun here..." Zoe mutters while moving around in her sleep.
Jenna, living right next door to Kyle, is less fortunate. Aggravated by the SCREAMING, she gets up, revealing her bedtime clothes which consist of a gray belly shirt and orange-&-white shorts, with her hair tied in a ponytail. She leaves her room, and returns with her ears corked. She resumes sleeping, but a particularly loud SCREAM from Kyle pops the corks out of her ears and she becomes so irritated that her eye veins pop out.
From Rolf's house, we hear Nana angrily yell "AAAGH, TIME FOR THE SCREAMER TO FEEL THE WRATH OF MY SHERWOOD TOES!!"
"NANA, STOP! YOU MUSTN'T EXERT YOURSELF!" Rolf's voice is heard. "MAMA, NANA REQUIRES SPECIAL MEASURES!"
Jimmy's dad James, wearing a robe, is fed up with the SCREAMING, and calls Kyle's house: "Becky, will you PLEASE shut your kid up?"
Upstairs, Jimmy's mom Wendy is taking sleep pills, then Jimmy peeks his head in to ask "Mom, can I take one of your sleep pills?"
"Absolutely, dear!" Wendy gives Jimmy a sleep pill.
Sarah, wearing pink pajamas, looks at Kyle's house through her window while Ed, wearing a white t-shirt and boxers, is also unable to sleep. So he gets up and shoves his head into his sponge wall so he can sleep without hearing Kyle.
Double-D is sitting at his room's desk, scrunching up whenever Kyle SCREAMS and he's using various parts to create large earmuffs for himself.
Eddy, wearing his hairnet, purple pants and no shirt, is covering his ears with his pillow, but to no avail. He tries sleeping between between his mattresses, but that also fails. Then he jumps out of bed and, no longer able to take Kyle's SCREAMING, rips his hair off and starts banging his head on his dresser!
By daybreak, Kyle is still SCREAMING! At Ed's doorstep, Double-D is still wearing his special earmuffs and now also has a speaker tube connected to one of his ears for verbal communication. He is giving the baggy-eyed Nazz the same kind of earmuffs and speaker tube so she can go on without hearing Kyle.
"Thanks, dude!" Nazz thanks into Double-D's speaker tube, and Double-D speaks into hers to reply "You're welcome, now have a nice day!"
Nazz leaves while Double-D rejoins Ed and Eddy in Ed's living room where he continues reading a newspaper while Ed and Eddy try watching TV. Ed & Eddy also have earmuffs and speaker tubes made for them by Double-D so they can hear the TV without hearing Kyle's SCREAMS. As Double-D reads the newspaper, he finds an interesting article:
"Look, Eddy! A man named Freddie Kanker is the new CEO of the Econo Company!" Double-D tells into Eddy's speaker tube.
Then Sarah enters and makes an angry beeline towards Eddy, yelling "YOU DID THIS!!"
"Sorry, couldn't hear ya." Eddy indicates his earmuffs. Sarah grabs Eddy's speaker tube and yells into it: "YOU... DID... THIS!!!"
Eddy is blown over and disoriented by Sarah's yelling, then Sarah grabs Eddy's foot and drags him out of the house.
"Let's go, Ed." Double-D tells Ed through his speaker tube, then they head out to follow Sarah as she drags Eddy towards Kyle's house. Just as they reach Kyle's lawn, his SCREAMING ceases.
Sarah drags Eddy through Kyle's living room and upstairs to Kyle's bedroom door, which has a sea turtle poster on it, and she drags Eddy inside. Kyle has stuffed sea turtles on his dresser, a palm tree lamp, a surfboard hung on one of his walls, and a trophy shelf with six "POMELO BEACH JUNIOR SURF-OFF" trophies. Kyle himself is laying on his bed with Jimmy and Zoe, and Kyle is still wearing his bedtime attire which consists of a white t-shirt and blue shorts. He's actually still screaming while thrashing his arms and legs, but Zoe is sitting on his face to muffle him, and she gives a thumbs-up! With that, Eddy removes his earmuffs and speaker tube, and Ed and Double-D do the same upon coming in.
"Is Kyle still screaming?" Ed asks.
"He just won't stop. Not even his mom was able to calm him." Jimmy says.
"You see, Eddy? You just HAD to throw Kyle's guitar into his garage, and THEN you had to step on the garage's remote!" Sarah accuses Eddy.
"And because of that, Kyle's lost his grip on reality." Jimmy says.
"And it's ALL-YOUR-FAULT!!" Sarah pokes Eddy's chest with each word.
"Ugh, everything's gotta be MY fault, right?" Eddy asks, rolling his eyes.
"Eddy, please." Double-D gently moves Eddy aside to speak to Sarah, Jimmy and Zoe: "Eddy sincerely apologizes for the demolition of Kyle's most beloved posession which led to the Peach Creek population's-" he looks at Eddy and finishes: "- DEPRIVATION OF SLEEP! And Ed and I will aid Eddy in whatever it takes to make it up to Kyle! Right, Eddy?"
"Uhhh yeah, sure!" Eddy confirms.
"Then stay right outside." Sarah pushes the Eds outside Kyle's door. After a few moments, Sarah opens it again: "Kyle wants you three to buy a new guitar for him."
The Eds' eyes bug out, then Double-D regains himself and says "It shall be done, Sarah!"
Later on, Ed and Double-D watch as Eddy talks to Nazz and Jenna: "Come on, girls! I know you two made lots of cash doin that community service thing down at the hall. Please, could you just gimme a bit, like... five hundred or so, so I could buy a new guitar for Kyle and make it up to him?"
"Sorry Eddy, but we can't give you any of the money because we're donating it to the Cancer Society." Nazz explains.
".... We couldn't sleep cuz YOU BROKE HIS GUITAR!?" Jenna angrily SLAPS Eddy across his face, knocking him for a loop. "Hell no, you ain't gettin NOTHIN from us! Let's go, Nazz."
Jenna walks off, followed by Nazz. Eddy gets up with a bright red slap mark on his face.
"Sorry for rubbing this in, but you had that slap coming." Double-D says.
"And you had THIS comin." Eddy throws a punch at Double-D, who quickly jumps away. Eddy yells "YOU had to be a fuckin GARY STU and have US make up for breakin Kyle's damn guitar. Rolf fired me AGAIN for the whole Julian incident yesterday, and you two still need a dozen more paychecks from him before we can pay off Kyle's guitar, and that's gonna take FOREVER! And on top of that, NOBODY'S HIRING RIGHT NOW!!"
"Well, you should have thought twice before breaking something near-&-dear to Kyle." Double-D tells Eddy.
"I've also lost somethin near-&-dear once." a deep, hoarse voice comes from behind the Eds. They turn around, and see a tall pink-nosed man with a thick gray beard. He's wearing a long blue leather coat, black boots, a black pirate hat, and an eyepatch.
"..... What did you lose, old-timer?" Eddy asks the old pirate man.
"I lost mee hand." the pirate guy reveals that his right hand is a hook, surprising the Eds.
"That's so cool!" Ed comments, then Double-D asks "How did that happen?"
"Me hand was taken by Ol' Chomps." the pirate guy answers.
"Ol' Chomps?..." Eddy asks.
"Aye. Ol' Chomps, the biggest, nastiest, most fearsome fish to ever prowl the waters of Lake Tangerine." the pirate guy explains: "He has taken countless lives, rippin boats to pieces and tearin poor ol' swimmers and fishermen apart with his six-inch-long teeth. Some say he's been at it for over ninety years, and many, including myself, have tried catchin Ol' Chomps to end the bloodbath and clean Lake Tangerine of its red stain. But nobody has succeeded, and to this day, that monster still resides in said lake with a five thousand-dollar prize on his head."
"Did you just say FIVE THOUSAND-DOLLAR PRIZE?!" Eddy excitedly jumps onto the pirate guy.
"Must I repeat it?" the pirate guy asks back, then Eddy ricochets off into the air, grabbing his fellow Eds' shoulders as he falls back down and he pulls them together with himself in-between.
"Boys, we've found our guitar solution!" Eddy declares. "And there'll be plenty mula left for us!"
"Gyahahahahaa, that was hilarious!" the pirate guy laughs: "Hahaha! But seriously, if you three really intend on catchin the likes of Ol' Chomps, then I wish ya the best of luck." he says, walking away. "You're gonna need it just to make it back alive."
After the pirate guy disappears around a corner, Double-D says "That pirate guy is right, Eddy. We're better off on dry land than going for a fish as reputedly ferocious as Ol' Chomps. Besides, where are we gonna get the necessary equipment?"
"My dad keeps a whole bunch of fishin gear up in our attic!" Eddy answers "Just follow my lead!"
"I can't wait to see Ol' Chomps, Eddy!" Ed exclaims as he follows Eddy.
"Guys, I'm telling you. No good could come out of this." Double-D protests.
To be Continued...
Trivia: The Econo Company appears to be a food company in the EEnE universe. Ed ate some "Econo Bran Muffins" in the episode "A Glass of Warm Ed," and a box of "Econo Beans" was among the various stuff in Eddy's bro's room.
Ol' Chomps awaits in Part 2, so stay tuned! Also, I'm writing full-steam ahead to finish up "Rise of The Gourd."
