Despite college and the hindering headaches of caffeine withdrawal, I got Teen Series Episode 17 up!! This episode was inspired by a windy day last year, and by one of my favorite EEnE episodes: "One of Those Eds."
And a warning reminder to Dnny By: do NOT flame my work, or else YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!!
Episode #17: One Flew Over the Eds
"WHOOOO!!" people cheer from the bleachers of the PCH baseball field as Peach Creek plays a game against the visiting Durian Cove (DC) team, whose colors are brown-&-white. Among the spectators are Ed's dad Stan, Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe. The four kids are all eating fudge and candies as they watch the game, while Stan has an arm-full of hotdogs. The Kankers are also present, cheering on the Eds as they play alongside their teammates against Durian Cove. Peach Creek is currently playing defense, with Kevin as the pitcher, Eddy as the catcher, Double-D as first baseman, Jonny as second baseman, Ed as third baseman, and Paul as shortstop. We see an DC baserunner at second base while another comes up to bat. Eddy calls the pitch to Kevin.
"The wind up, and here's the pitch." one of the announcers says as Kevin pitches the ball. The DC batter swings, but misses. "Strike one!" is called out against him. Kevin pitches again, and the DC batter hits the ball towards first base, where Double-D tries catching it
"Ok, I got it! I got it!" Double-D moves and leans back as he tries catching the ball, but it hits him on the head and knocks him down. The ball bounces away a little bit, and he gets up to grab it, then he hears his teammates telling him to throw to second base, and he does so, but it lands short. So Kevin takes the ball.
"DIG FAST, PAUL!" Kevin throws the ball to Paul who's covering second base for Jonny, but Paul isn't paying attention and so fumbles the ball between his hands before he finally gets a firm hold on it. But it's already too late and the runner has already reached second base. Seeing the other runner heading towards home plate, Paul quickly throws the ball to Eddy, who catches it and tags out the DC runner as he tries sliding onto home plate!
"And Gustafson is out!" the second announcer says.
"But it looks like Stewart's concentration broke for a moment, otherwise he would've got the ball right on spot and De Kraker would've been tagged out as well." the first announcer says, and Eddy also notes this.
"Not only that..." Eddy looks at Double-D. In the bleachers, Lee comments "I thought your man would have a stronger arm, Marie."
"Hart didn't exactly perform well, either." the second announcer comments on Double-D. "With most of the batters being right-handed, it's no wonder why he was put on the right side of the field as first baseman."
After the quarter ends, the cheerleaders do their routine and the teams rest. During this time, Eddy asks Paul "What happened out there, Paul? You could've got that guy out."
"I don't know, McMoney." Paul answers. "I just haven't been on top of my game since me and Tracy broke up."
"Dude, you gotta put that behind you." Kevin says. "And didn't you say you were gonna 'expiriment' after that?"
"Yeh, but that's easier said than done." Paul says.
"And you, Double-D; you gotta throw harder." Eddy says. "You said you wanted to join the team to show what you can do, but so far I haven't seen nothin."
"I'm trying, Eddy." Double-D says.
"Don't try, dude. DO it!" Kevin says. "Coach is expecting you to make a good hit when we go up to bat."
"Remember, Sockhead. Give it your all, cuz it's gonna be tougher for us to keep our score up without Rolf. Speakin of Rolf, where is he again, Ed?"
"Rolf couldn't come because he said he had business in Cherry River with this girl named Nell." Ed answers.
The next quarter begins, and Jonny steps up to bat. He hits the ball, but is later struck out along with another runner. Kevin makes it to home plate, and Ed scores a home run!
"FANTASTIC!" the first announcer says, but the commentary is then drowned out by May's cheering: "WHOOOOOOOO!! THAT'S MY HOME-RUNNIN HUSBAND!!"
"THAT'S MY BOY!!" Stan shouts, and Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle & Zoe also cheer while cramming their mouths with fudge. Then Double-D steps up to bat, with "Give it your all" echoing through his head. Marie watches excitedly as Double-D positions himself.
"Here it comes..." cheerleader Nazz says as the DC pitcher throws the ball. Double-D swings, but he misses and "Strike one!" is called against him. He tries again, only to get a "Strike two!" On the third swing, he does a spinning swing that spectacularly misses and he falls to the ground, and he hears "You're out!"
"And there goes Hart's chance. Boy, was that weak!" the second announcer says, and Marie is in disbelief as Double-D shamefully returns to the bench. Eddy goes up to bat, and he hits a homer just like Ed!
"WHOOOOOO!!" Lee cheers.
When the PC players play defense, the ball is hit to Jonny. He passes the ball to Double-D at first base, but the ball hits Double-D between the eyes and knocks him down. The ball then lands in his glove just as the base is taken and the DC runner proceeds to second base. Later, when he bats again, Marie gets up and lifts up her hoodie and shirt, revealing a blue "EDD" painted onto her stomach. She jumps and cheers "COME ON, CUTIE PIE!! EDDWARD, EDDWARD, EDDWARD!!"
"SHOW EM YOUR GRRR FACE, DOUBLE-D!!" Ed shouts from second base. The pitch is thrown, but Double-D misses. He finally connects with the second swing, but it's a foul ball. Then Double-D remembers that Kevin is at third base, so when the third pitch is thrown, he tries bunting the ball to get Kevin to home plate. But this proves unsuccessful, and both are tagged out.
"You suck, Double-Douche." Kevin scolds, walking backs towards the bench. "That so wouldn't have happened if Rolf was here."
"Hey Kev, Jenn's callin you." Jonny gives Kevin his cellphone, and Kevin answers Jenna's call: "Wassup, Jenn?"
"Hey, Kevvie! Papi can't pick me up after the game, so I need a ride. Will you take me?" Jenna asks.
"Sure thing, doll!" Kevin answers. Later, when PC plays defense again, Double-D has to pass the ball to third base. He throws, but again it isn't hard enough, and Eddy completes the throw for him.
"Sorry Marie, but so far, it looks like only May and I are partyin tonight!" Lee tells Marie.
"Says you." Marie scoffs in reply, then shouts "YOU AIN'T EVEN TRYIN, DOUBLE-D!! PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!!"
"Marie..." Double-D looks at Marie, and later he steps up one more time to bat, though by now, he's noticeably tired. His first swing misses, then his second swing misses, and then he gets hit in the face by a beanball, knocking him down! As he gets up with a baseball mark on his face, the Durian Cove players laugh at him.
"DON'T LET EM PUT YA DOWN, SWEETIE!!" Marie shouts to Double-D to encourage him: "YOU CAN DO IT!! I KNOW YOU CAN!! I DIDN'T PAINT YOUR NAME ON MY STOMACH FOR NOTHIN!!"
With that, Double-D gets up and readies himself for one last swing. And this time, he makes a good hit!
"YES!!" Marie cheers, and Double-D's teammates tell him to "RUN, GO GO GO!!" Double-D runs towards first base, sweating and panting in exhaustion. Then the physical strain of baseball finally takes toll on him, and he falls half-way between first and second bases.
"And Hart falls down." the first announcer comments. Double-D tries getting back up, but he's too tired to continue.
"Damn my physical inadequacy..." Double-D curses before falling flat on his face...
The next day is a windy one, with trees and weather vanes being blown from all sides by powerful gusts. Up in the sky, we see a hundred-dollar bill drifting along with the wind, which blows the bill down into Peach Creek and over the cul-de-sacs. Sarah, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe meet up at a corner.
"Hey, guys! Do any of ya still got leftover fudge from the game last night?" Zoe asks.
"Ate all of mine." Sarah answers, so Zoe turns to Kyle. Kyle responds: "I ate all mine too, but man, that stuff sure is addictive!"
"It leaves ya droolin for mooorrrre, doesn't it?!" Zoe asks, licking her lips at the thought of the delicious fudge. "Mmmmm, pure wickedness in the mouth!"
"I want more of that scrumptious fudge as well, so I say we do a scam and buy some sugary sweetness with the profits!" Jimmy suggests, gathering his friends into a huddle. "Here's the plan!............................"
"Tell us, Jim Jim!" Zoe tells Jimmy.
"Wait for it." Jimmy says, but he's actually trying to think of a scam. "............ Ah, just gimme a moment............ Uhhhh............"
While Jimmy tries thinking of a scam idea, Ed and May walk by, holding hands and May is giggling at something Ed is whispering in her ear.
"Wow, eheeheehee! Poor Eddy!" May laughs. "Now come with me, I got a gift for ya for winnin the game!"
"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!" Ed's eyes widen with excited anticipation as May pulls him along by his wrist.
Double-D is laying in his bed with his face buried in his pillow. We hear his door open, and with a sullen face, Double-D looks...
"Hey, Marie!" Double-D greets. "But could you knock next time?"
"Sorry." Marie apologizes as Double-D puts his face back in his pillow. Marie sits on his bed and puts her hand on his shoulder, asking "What's wrong, sugar plum?"
"It's just... no, it's nothing." Double-D lies, but Marie sees through it: "You liar. I bet it's cuz of last night, right?"
"Last night no longer matters. We won the game." Double-D replies, and Marie pulls him up to sit with her.
"But you did nothin to contribute to that win, and you said you wanted to show what you could do. So are you tellin me you're givin up?" Marie asks.
"Marie, please. I don't want-"
"No, don't gimme that shit. You determined to better yourself," Marie says, moving to sit on Double-D's lap with her arms around his shoulders. "And I'm gonna help ya keep your word."
"Don't tell me you have rigorous physical excercise in mind." Double-D says nervously.
"Ohhhh yeah, I'm gonna work your ass til ya can't work it no more! NOW MOVE IT, LET'S GO!!" Marie takes out a whistle and BLOWS it in Double-D's face, forcing him out of his room and outside with her whistle-blowing. Once outside, she yells at Double-D drill-sergeant-style: "NOW WE'RE GONNA TEST YOUR STAMINA WITH A RUN DOWN THE STREET AND AROUND THE BLOCKS!!"
"How far exactly?" Double-D asks, but Marie only BLOWS her whistle in his face again, knocking him down!
"UP ON YOUR FEET!! RUN, BOY, NOW NOW NOW!!" Marie BLOWS her whistle and leads Double-D down Ratthink Avenue. Double-D's running is very slow, and Marie sees this. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT, HONEY?!! THAT'S PATHETIC!! COME ON, MY NOSE RUNS FASTER!!"
Meanwhile, near the dumpster in the lane, Eddy and Lee are talking while smoking cigarettes.
"And it just so happened that the homer I hit landed on and fucked up the dude's car." Eddy tells Lee. "So he started flippin out on me, followed me and the boys all the way home, then he started throwin fuckin rocks at my window to break it like I did his. Then he tells my parents, and they told me to pay off the damages. So now I owe that guy a hundred bucks."
"How did your mom and dad not hear him tryin to break your window?" Lee asks, puffing smoke.
"Cuz parents are retarded." Eddy answers, flicking away his cigarette. "I'm just glad I'm startin my new job on Monday, so Mr. Scream-his-ass-off will be off my tail when I get my paycheck."
A strong wind blows, and Eddy & Lee brace against the wind as it blows their hair backwards and various small junk is blown past.
"Damn, I gotta check the morning forecast more often." Lee says, then she spots something in the air. "Hey, what's that?"
"What's what?" Eddy also looks up, and Lee points at a little green object flowing along through the air.
"It's... a hundred-dollar bill!" Lee exclaims as the hundred-dollar bill drifts above her and Eddy.
"AND IT'S ALL MINE!!" Eddy jumps and ricochets off the dumpster in an attempt to grab the dollar out of the air. But he misses, and scrambles for a few seconds in mid-air before plunging back down and face-planting the ground! "HEY DOLLAR, WHERE YA GOIN!! I CAN BUY SO MANY THINGS WITH YA!!"
"Buy things? How about usin it to pay off those car damages you just talked about." Lee suggests, folowing the dollar's path down the lane.
"You always remind me of shit, Lee." Eddy sneers while getting up. "And that's why I love ya!"
Lee jumps onto the fence and runs along the top to grab the 100-dollar bill, but it somehow manages to avoid her grasp every time she swipes for it. Lee eventually falls through a gap in the fence her leg gets caught in it, then Eddy catches up to her. Eddy helps Lee get her leg out, then he grabs a nearby board. Putting the board into the fence gap, he uses it to catapult himself up towards the drifting dollar, but he's only able to touch it with his fingers before falling again. This time, Eddy lands in the creek, which has junk flowing in it. Eddy emerges from the water with a six-soda ring choking him, and while he tries removing it, the dollar drifts along with the wind down the junk-swollen creek, the sight of which sickens Jonny and Nazz as they watch from one of the banks.
"Uck, are those gangs dumping into the creek again?" Nazz asks Jonny.
"No. Me and Plank check for gangs every morning and evening, and we got nothin this morning. In fact, I haven't seen Dave or any of the other Drupes since Febuary." Jonny explains. "And it can't be the junkyard either cuz it ain't overflowin."
"So that means people are just bein careless." Nazz concludes. "We gotta do somethin about this."
"What, Plank?" Jonny asks Plank. "................ A hundred-dollar bill?! Where?!"
"There it is!" Nazz points out the hundred-dollar bill drifting just above the creek's surface, then the wind blows it back upwards.
"Hey, we could use those hundred bucks to make anti-pollution flyers and help clean up the creek!" Jonny exclaims. "Plank says we follow it!"
In the trailer park, Ed is laying stomach-down on a reclined lounger in front of the Kanker trailer.
"Here it is, Ed!" May comes out of her trailer with an oversized container of cocoa butter massage lotion. "A long, soothing back massage after a long, hard game!"
"Oooo, I never got a back massage before!" Ed exclaims before May tells him to sit up. He does so to allow May to remove his shirt for the massage. But when she lifts Ed's shirt over his head, May discovers a whole bunch of huge, nasty red pimples covering his back!
"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" May jumps back, throwing the massage lotion into the air and hiding under her trailer. Her freaking out also alarms Ed, who looks back to see his grotesque back acne: "GAAAHH!!" and he falls off the lounger!
"Eeeeeek!" May recoils under her trailer as Ed gets up.
"Wait, May. I remember Double-D telling me these are pimples or acne or something." Ed explains after calming from his own freak-out.
"Pimples? I think one of em moved!" May says, still grossed out as she emerges from under her trailer. She cringes again at the sight of Ed's acne: "It's so icky and gross! Put your shirt back on!"
"I'm on it, May!" Ed puts his shirt back on, but while reaching for his jacket on the lounger, a strong wind blows it away and it snags on a tree branch at the edge of the trailer park. A panicking Ed runs up to the tree and climbs to the branch his jacket is stuck on. As he takes his jacket from the branch, the wind blows the 100-dollar bill right past his face in slow-motion! He immediately calls "MAY!!!"
"YES, POOKIE BEAR?!" May asks, coming to the tree.
"I SAW A HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILL FLY BY!!" Ed tells May. "IT WENT THIS WAY!"
"GOODIE, WE COULD TREAT YOUR PIMPLES WITH IT!!" May exclaims as Ed drops out of the tree, and he & May follow the drifting dollar out of the trailer park and back towards the neighborhood.
To Be Continued...
Trivia: Gustafson and De Kraker, two of the Durian Cove players, were named after storyboard artists Lucas Gustafson and Mike De Kraker. May calling Ed "pookie bear" is another reference to "Ed Overboard," and Jonny mentioning Dave and the Drupes is a throwback to my earlier Teen Series episode "I Get an Ed Out of You."
I based some of the boys' baseball positions on "Boys Will be Eds," and Rolf's reason of absence is another foreshadowing, so stay tuned, readers! Also, I completed "Rise of the Gourd" and I have my version of the Peach Creek map up on deviantArt!
