"Well, I stand up next to a mountain," Séance sang-along remorselessly, "and I chop it down with the edge of my hand. Well, I pick up all the pieces and make an island, might even raise a little sand. Yeah!"
Kraken shoved his hands over his ears. Three days had passed since he'd last seen Vanya, or had seen much of anyone for that matter. If she could lock herself away in her room, then so could he. Of course, the difference that he was woefully unaware of was that she was upset. He, however, was sulking.
Breaking this sulk soon was beginning to look like a pretty good idea to him though. If he had to listen to Séance grating out Jimmy Hendrix songs for another minute, he'd go insane.
"'Cause I'm a voodoo child!" Séance continued, "Lord knows I'm a voodoo child baby!"
"That. Is. It," growled Kraken, throwing his door open.
He'd made it into the living room before the next verse started up. He then proceeded to rip the power cord out of the large stereo that Séance had nestled comfortably on an armchair. As for the man himself he was floating comfortably near the ceiling rafters. When the music stopped Séance looked around, offended.
"You can't stop the beat!" he wailed.
"I just fucking did," he said, "So why don't you have a little consideration for other people? Huh?"
"Oh, and you have just soooooooo much regard for other people's feelings," snorted Séance, "Which is why, of course, Vanya came home in tears on Wednesday. Yeah, that's some empathy there."
Kraken curled his fingers into a fist and his lip into a sneer.
"You wanna start something voodoo freak?" he snarled.
"End something is more like it," smirked Séance, twirling himself upside down, "Look, someone needs to dissolve all the sexual tension in this situation."
"WHAT?"
"Ben practically faints when he thinks about getting involved," Séance said, "Vanya's too upset, and you're too pissed. You're a moron too, but this means it falls on nutty-mcnuggets to do something. See what's wrong with this picture, hmmmm?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" snapped Kraken.
Séance rolled his eyes.
"Ah-duh. You've got the hots for Vanya, am I right?"
There was a brief silence.
"Don't deny it, an' don't ask how I know," continued Séance, "'cause it's obvious. So, why not do somethin' when she came back from college?"
"I am not going to discuss this with you," Kraken snapped, turning around to go.
Irritated Séance levitated a couch against the exit. He also made some furniture block the stairwell. Kraken whipped around and Séance raised a figure.
"Tell me why," he said, tsking.
"There's nothing to tell."
"I said don't deeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnyyyy it!"
"Shut up!"
"Come on," wheedled Séance, "Tell me, tell me, TELLME TELLMETELLME!"
"She's too fucking good for this!" screamed Kraken.
Séance blinked.
"Ah, don't tell me-" he started.
"I have an odd habit," interrupted Kraken furiously, "of ruining every fucking thing I try to do. I'll go, fuck things up when I'm wither her, and she'll never forgive me for it. Just look at me!"
Dutifully Séance did as instructed.
"You are a psycho," he admitted.
"See!"
"Well maybe she likes psychos," drawled Séance, "I mean, she's not exactly normal herself. And by the way, that is a piss-poor excuse if she wants you."
"She doesn't!"
"Wednesday says differently," Séance said.
"Listen, nothing would happen even if I could talk to her about this," snapped Kraken, "which I can't, she's locked herself in her room!"
Séance grinned evilly.
"I have a way around that…"
.
.
.
There was a knock at the door. Vanya quickly finished toweling off from her latest shower (They were very calming and she desperately needed to calm down.) and threw on a knee-length silk bathrobe. She opened the door a crack to see Horror standing there nervously.
"I uh, mentioned talking later-" he started.
"Yeah," Vanya said, opening the door.
"Is this a uh, bad time?" he started.
"Everything's a bad time," she said bitterly, going into the adjoining bathroom to clean up.
"Listen, uh, Vanya," he said, "Why don't you tell me exactly what's going on? I mean, it, um, could help."
"Ben," she said, noticing the odd pauses in his voice, "I've told you everything."
"Yeah, but uh, I'm not sure I understood it exactly."
"It's hard to understand unrequited love," Vanya said, trying to keep a snap out of her voice, "Look, for ten years he's done absolutely nothing to encourage me and so I don't know why I keep hoping he'll wake up one day and…oh, argh."
She picked up her hairbrush and ran it through her rapidly drying hair.
"Well, things can change."
Vanya wondered why Ben was being so dense. They'd already had this conversation over and over again.
"No Ben, they can't," she said, "It was easier when I was younger to think that Diego would grow to love me or some shit like that. But that's not how it works, don't you understand? And no matter what I try it just doesn't work! I didn't even like John but I can just see my future relationships going down the drain because they're not with Diego. Do you get it now!"
"Yes," said Horror, his voice sounding strained, "And I hope that you'll either thank or forgive me one day. Preferably thank."
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked, near-angry as she walked back into her room.
She stopped abruptly, feeling like she was about to throw up. Horror was standing embarrassingly in a corner of the room with Kraken standing next to him.
"I'm just going to leave before I get killed," Horror said miserably, edging out the door.
