"Spitting fire back and forth now. Times have changed in just a few months. Neighbors complaining from the fights and why can't things be the same?" - Open by Demetria Lovato

Tears in the Rain

Chapter 5

Matthew

_

"can you drive a little faster?" I whisper-screamed at Nate as we were heading to my house. He looked at me before reaching a hand out to mine and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Just breathe, Babe. We'll get there." he cooed, trying to calm me down. It wasn't working. My heart was pounding a mile a minute and my I worried. I wanted to know what was happening. Now. I let out a slow breath, trying to get my heart rate down, while closing my eyes and intertwining Nate and I's fingers. He was like my security blanket, "everything is going to be ok." he said before placing a loving kiss on my hand. I opened my eyes and looked over at him.

"thank you." I said quietly. My heart was still racing like an energizer bunny. I looked out the front window and saw my house in the distance. I unbuckled my seat belt even though the car was still pulling in the driveway. I hopped out of the front seat onto the black paved cement driveway and quickly walked to the front door. I lifted my hand to open the door and then stopped. I did it again, and stopped again. I heard Nate walk up behind me. He looked at me, sighed and turned the knob, "have I ever told you how much I love you?" I asked looking down and pulling a strand of my bangs behind my ear. He just smiled that tight lipped smile of his and placed his hand on my lower back, softly pushing me inside. I stepped inside the house and looked around the foyer, "Austin?" I asked the house. I grabbed Nate's hand while he shut the door and kept walking, "Austin? I'm here."

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and I looked up. Austin looked at me with tears in his eyes and sighed, "Alex. I'm so glad you came." I ran up to him and embraced him in a huge hug, flinging my arms over his neck as he rested his head on my shoulder.

"Of course I came, Aus." I said burying my head in my arms that were around his neck. He pulled away, holding me at arms length and rubbing up and down my arms, "what happened Austin?" he sighed again before looking at Nate and back at me.

"Alex.. do you remember how Ma--"

"Austie, where do you keep the pop? Mom always used to keep it in the cellar, but I didn't see it." he was cut off by a girl coming around the corner. She had long dark, dark brown hair, a white complexion, and was just about as tall as I was. She had tear stained cheeks and you could tell she had been crying from her red eyes. I couldn't believe it. Why the fuck was she here? She paused and looked up, taking a step back as she did, her hands at her sides. I turned to Austin.

"why the fuck is she here?" I whispered to Austin, spat rather, with venom. He looked at me.

"please be nice to each other." he asked with sincerity, he always was a peacekeeper. I glared back at him, before looking down and mumbling.

"fine."

The other girl was still standing there, her fingers intertwined awkwardly, biting her lip, "so.." she said, trying to make conversation, "how are you?" she questioned, still not looking up. She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly while asking. I glared back at her and didn't answer.

She didn't deserve my words.

She sighed and slapped her hands to her thighs, "listen Alex, I know we've been through a lot of shit.." she started, taking a step towards me, "but please, lets not fight, OK?" she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, "Just.. not today." she said as her voice cracked. I didn't answer. I turned to Austin and asked him again, feeling totally out of the loop.

"Austin, please tell me what is going on." I whispered. He looked down again before he dropped the bomb.

"Its Matt.." he said with sadness. I immediately knew what he was talking about and took a step back in shock, still looking him straight in the eyes.

"no." I denied stubbornly as I kept moving backwards. I couldn't believe this was happening. This couldn't be happening- could it? "no. No no no. He said he'd be fine. H-he said he would be back in 6 months. He promised me." I rambled, my voice cracking at the end. I felt Nate's hands come up to my waist to try and comfort me but I shook them off.

"Alex, I know you were extremely close to him. We all were." he winced at the past tense, as did I, "Of course we were...he was our brother." I closed my eyes as tight as I could, willing the tears that were stinging behind my eyes away. This could not be happening. He was like my mentor, my best friend, and the good father I never had. Yes, we all knew the consequences going into the army could have, but he wanted to make a difference. He promised me he would be back, that he wouldn't get hurt, that everything would be fine and I was worrying for nothing. Matthew always kept his promises to me. He promised. He fucking well promised me! I was so angry. I don't know why anger was the first thing to come to my mind, I always thought if anything happened to any of us I would be sad first. But I was pissed. I looked back up at Austin with watery eyes. My stomach was tied in knots. It hurt so badly. I put a hand on my stomach as I felt myself starting to breakdown. I couldn't breakdown I had to be strong for everyone.

For Austin.

For Nate.

For Mom.

And even for my twin sister, standing in the corner with her fingers still intertwined awkwardly.

For Demi.

"H-how.." I didn't want to ask, but I wanted to know so badly, "what.. what happened?" I said with a wavering voice. And the answer was the one thing I didn't want to hear he went through.

"he, uhme.." Austin blew out a breath and gained his composure before speaking again, "he got shot in the chest... they thought he was going to make it, but he came down with some disease..." I felt tears about to spill over, so I covered my face with my hands and looked down, he continued, " Alex, he was basically suffering... it was better." I looked up at him with disbelief.

"it was – it was better?" I questioned, "are you fucking joking me!?" I yelled as angry tears spilled down my face. Demi stepped towards me, reaching her arm out and opening her mouth to say something, but I put out my hand to stop her, "don't Demi." I spoke with venom, narrowing my watery eyes, causing more tears to fall. She dropped her hand before reaching it up to wipe stray tears from her stained cheeks. Austin walked towards me and put a hand on my shoulder, pulling me in for a hug. I didn't hug back for a minute, but gave in when I felt my heart aching, "when did it happen?" I whispered in his ear. He sighed before running a hand in soothing circles on my back.

"That doesn't matter. Right now, I just want to be with my family." he said before setting his voice to a low whisper, "All of us, Alex. That includes your sister." I closed my eyes and thought about the last time I saw her.

2 years ago...

"Alex, don't do this. Please." Demi said in a whisper, trying to keep her voice down while holding back tears of fear. I looked at her like she was crazy.

"are you kidding me? Demi, look at me! He deserves everything he gets!" I spat quietly walking painfully over to my mirror. When I looked in it, I didn't see a human. I didn't see a person. I saw a monster. A controlled, abused, worthless monster. I has a black eye and a bloody nose, marks on my arm in the shape of his hand. There were deep gashed just above my eyebrow and on my chin. I reached my hand up to touch my stomach and winced at the excruciating pain. Demi got off of the bed and came over to me, pleading.

"Please Allie. Please, I'm begging you, don't tell anybody OK?" tears spilled from her eyes to her cheeks, betraying her. She quickly wiped them away, "we -we can make it through anything ok? We'll just go on with our lives, we can run away together – anything – we can do this. Your my best friend, I don't want to lose you! If you tell them, I will lose you for sure, I don't want that. We've lost enough already. I don't want to lose you to. Please, I love you. Please." by this time she was crying even harder, making to much sound. She might wake him up. I embraced her in a hug. I was pissed at her for even asking me not to do it, but I couldn't have her waking him up.

"Demi, I can't even believe you. Look at what he's doing to you. To me." I let go of her, holding her at arms length. I winced at the pain in my right arm. She looked into my eyes and starting crying again. Thankfully, this time is was silently.

"Alex, I know, ok? I know what he does to us I k-know its wrong. I know its painful, believe me. I know. And I love you so much, your my sister. My best friend. But... I just can't. He my dad, Alex. He's your dad too. I know he abuses both of us – in different ways – but.. I just can't. He's still our father. He has a disease Allie." she said trying to convince me with all she had in her. I had to do it. I looked at her with sorry eyes before grabbing my sweater and going out my bedroom door quietly. I heard Demi coming out behind me and I looked back curiously. She looked at me with sorrow, "don't make me do this Al. Please." I looked at her with wide eyes. She wouldn't.

"Demi..." I said getting closer and closer to the stairs, "don't, Demi." I said pleadingly before walking a little closer towards the stairs. She mouthed 'I'm sorry' before she yelled.

"no Alex! Don't leave!" I looked at her with widened eyes as I heard loud footsteps coming from my parents bedroom.

I looked at Demi one more time, "I hate you." I spat with venom before bolting for the door. I heard the footsteps speed up and so did I, but it was a bit difficult to move fast with this much pain.

The last thing I remember it my father kicking my back, and a sharp pain in my stomach.

That's what I remember of her. Not the good times. Not how much I truly loved her because she was my sister, but how she betrayed me. How she took his side and let him do things to both of us. After I healed from that I ran away. And here we are.

End of flashback.

-

"Does dad know?" I asked the room, waiting for anyone to answer. I was looking down at my feet, trying to keep the tears in. By now we were sitting in the couch in the living room, Nate on the end, me in the middle, Austin on the chair. Which only left room for Demi to sit next to me. I groaned when I looked at Austin but he knitted his eyebrows together disapprovingly before she sat down. I heard Demi move nervously beside me. She had been crying for the past hour or so.

"No.. no one has talked to him in the past few days." she mumbled nervously. I scoffed.

"Oh, how sad." I spat sarcastically, turning my head towards her for a second. She looked down and closed her eyes, interlacing her fingers together. That was what we used to do to hold our emotions in when we were younger. Clench our jaws, close our eyes, and look down at our hands. I breathed out harshly before wiping my cheeks roughly. I felt the right side of the couch start shaking lightly. I looked over at Demi, who was now sitting with her knees to her chest, her arms wrapped around them as a single silent tear slipped down her cheek. I didn't understand why she was so upset – well, of course she was going to be upset, but I wouldn't have believed she would be this broken down about it. Her and Matthew never got along. They loved each other of course, but they were never close like him and I are – were. He was always my best friend. God, thinking about how amazing he was to me – how close we were – made my heart feel like it was being tugged out of my chest. Actually, no. Not tugged. Ripped.

She sighed loudly before looking up, trying to get the tears to stay away, "why do bad things always happen to good people?" she rhetorically asked, her voice cracking at the end. Austin got up out of his chair and went over to Demi, standing on his knees. He leaned forward, putting his hands on Demi's shoulders and pulling her towards him. She instantly put her legs down and embraced him, breaking down again as she did. I swallowed hard and stood up. Nate grabbed my hand softly and looked at me with sympathy.

"I'm just going to get a drink." I said quietly, walking towards the kitchen. I opened the fridge to look for a coca-cola, before remembering what Demi said to Austin when she turned the corner earlier. I sighed and closed the fridge before going down to the cellar to see if it was there. I walked down the stairs and shivered as I felt the cold basement air hit my arms. I rubbed my arm up and down before going to the fridge – but freezing in my footsteps.

The front of the fridge was littered with photos of everyone – Demi and I, Austin and Demi, Mom and dad, tons of family picture of all of us. But that wasn't why I froze. The first picture I saw was of Matthew and I...

the day he was deployed...

I slowly walked up to it, picking it off of the fridge, the magnet that was holding it up now laying on the ground. I held it in my hands softly, as if it was brittle and could break at any second. I felt my stomach bunch up as I ran my thumb over the two of us. We were both smiling, standing in front of the window of the airport. His eyes were glistening with tears, but he held me protectively in his army uniform. I could see my vision becoming blurry as my chest started shaking. I drew in a breath and blew it out harshly, clenching my jaw. I set the picture down on the top of the freezer and opened the fridge, looking for the pop. 'Coca cola was Matthew's favourite..' I thought before closing my eyes, trying to shake the thought out of my head. I head the door open and footsteps come down the stairs quietly. I knew who it was. He hadn't talked all night. He knows you way too well, knowing you have to be alone with him. He's the only one who can get you through this right now.

"you ok?" he asked stopping on the other side of the fridge door while I was looking for my pop. I just kept shuffling through the fridge.

"yes Nate. I'm fine ok?" I mumbled with no emotion, scurrying through the fridge some more. I knew by now that the pop was not in there. I was just wasting time. I saw him reach up for a second before sighing. He walked behind me and put gentle hands on my hips, pulling me towards him. I agreed before putting a hand to my forehead and swallowing harshly. He closed the fridge and stood in front of me. He reached a hand to cup my face, trying to look me in the eyes. I just kept looking down at my hands.

"It's going to be ok, you know." he cooed, trying to make me let the anger and sadness out. I scoffed and breathed in harshly, willing myself not to breakdown.

"no it's not." I mumbled in a quiet voice, finally looking up at him. He saw the tears in my eyes and reached his other hand up to pull me in for a sweet peck. I pulled away as he leant his forehead against mine. A few tears rolled down my cheek and he wiped them away with the pad of his thumb before speaking again.

"it will, baby. You'll never get over it, but you'll get used to it." he said before nuzzling his nose against mine and pulling me in for a hug I hugged him back and started losing control of my emotions, breaking down in his arms. He just held me and cooed that is was going to be ok.

I won't get over it, but I'll get used to it...

-

okaayyy so obviously i am putting my characters through hell... i'm sorry. Its just the twists and turns of the storyline.

So, tell me what you thought of this chapter. It was kinda huge lol. I took my time on it because i wanted it to be a bit revealing of why Alex is so closed off sometimes.

What did you think about Demi? Their past? What about Matthew? Their dad? Like i said, this was a HUGE chapter. So give me ALLLLLL of your thoughts and questions, as well as what you would like to happen next in the review you leave! XD

Also, i like long reviews..

lol

Love

Carleyy.

PS: you can follow me at twitter for updates and such at www DOT twitter DOT com/ cma_88...

PSS (if that makes sense..) : i have a few new reviews/readers... I'd just like to say, i love you... it means the world to me if people read my story and enjoy it, but of course, i can't tell if they enjoy it if they don't review. So thank you all for reviewing. =]