Chapter two: Severed hearts

"Go out with me Lyra."

"Jason I could never...I...there's..."She didn't want to hurt him, she was his friend.

"I see..., it's about this Will guy again. "He sounded annoyed. "Lyra, I've waited two years for you to forget about him. I understood how you felt in the beginning, you loved him and he left. But now it's just too much. I can't hold it in, I love you Lyra."

She knew this was going to happen. Nelie had told her it would eventually. He was a very handsome boy, one of the smartest in their class, but she would never betray Will. As she watched him cross the hall toward her after lunch with that determined look in his eyes, his raven Jaileen on his shoulder she had dreaded it.

"Don't do this Jason, we're friends...I could never..." A tear slid down her flushed cheeks.

"Lyra, there's no possible way you didn't know how I feel about you. For two years, ever since the first day I saw you. I've been carrying your books, helping you in particle physics and eating lunch with you and Nelie almost every day." He was sounding frantic now.

"Jason, I can't love you like you love me. Can't we just be friends." She couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"No we can't, I love you too much, it would be weird to be just friends after today."

She knew what was next, but she was so afraid of what her reaction would be. She still loved Will so much, It was like a fire burning in her heart that would never go cold. Yet, she cared so much for Jason more than friendship. She wished she could go back to Will and cry in his loving arms.

"I'll always love you Lyra, even if you can't love me back." He wiped away her tears and then gave her a quick kiss. Lyra stood there stock still unable to move. When it was over he gave her a sad look and turned to go to his next class.

"I'm so, sorry." Was all Lyra managed to choke out before he disappeared into the crowd outside. She thought she saw Jaileen turn and look at her with cold eyes before he was gone.

She didn't know how long she stood there for. Pan came to her then, he had been away most of the day. He climbed up her long pleated skirt and she hugged him against her chest, tears still slid down her face. She didn't know what to do. She still wanted to be Jason's friend, but it would be too painful for him.

"Pan...Pan...What are we going to do?" She sobbed into his lush red fur. They had developed a very strong bond, and Pan could feel what Lyra was feeling even when he was away. When Jason kissed her he could feel the stab of pain, confusion, and longing. He had guessed what had happened and come immediately to her.

"I know I can't love anyone other than Will and I don't think you can either after he touched you." Lyra was trying to be practical about it, but love isn't practical.

"No, I can't. I knew it would be hard to let go of Will and Kirjava, but I never thought of how it would be if someone else loved you like Will did."

"Oh Pan...Pantalimon, I don't want to hurt him. She sank down to her knees still clutching Pan to her breast.